A Long Post About Life

bikozulu

A beleaguered 28-year old chap emailed me saying (and I pull excerpts of that email that is relevant to this conversation), “…I used to read Oyunga Pala and when he stopped writing I stopped reading that column. But then Jadudi happened and I went to your website and read; thereafter I spent the next three days reading everything you have ever written on your blog, then I went to Mantalk and found you and you shamed me for being so wrong about you.  I admire you and how you have your shit [his exact word] together. [Then he talks about other things here]…so I’m at a crossroads, my career is stagnant, I can’t seem to find the right job, I can’t seem to find the right woman to be with and I feel like this is not the life I wanted to have because my friends seem to be doing better than I am. Also I have realised that to fill this void I go to the bars a lot with my pals to drown my sorrows, maybe one day we can share that whisky you keep talking about hehe. [hehe back]You are 38 so strictly you can offer me advice, taking note that I have…?” [OK, the rest isn’t too crucial for this conversation.]

So I emailed him that “Unofficial Goldman Sasch Guide to being a Man” which I had just read and loved and chuckled at. You read it too, right? I told him I was banging some urgent copy at the moment and when done I would shoot him another email. But then I forgot. He emailed again the next day reminding me, so  I started replying to  his email which started with, “ First, Tony* [not his real name] there is no such thing as the ‘right woman’, so stop searching.” Then as I wrote that email I started enjoying it, started getting deep into it and I stopped and thought, “wait, this should be a blog post.” So I emailed him and told him I would write a post as reply, boss give it a week, yes? Then I added a smiley to show that I’m friendly and I love trees and I believe in free and fair trade. Always add a smiley, you just never know what lonely heart it might warm.

First, a confession. I deeply dislike Oyunga Pala’s fans. They are like roaches – they are everywhere, lurking and waiting for me to rock up and ruin my day: I run into them in hotel lobbies, in bars, at private parties,  in my emails, in interviews, at the beach, in my house masquerading as guests, in restaurants, at the ATM, in my sleep and they never miss a beat to remind me that I’m “the guy who replaced Oyunga.” I’ve had it up to here! *Points at forehead* I can’t have peace. There is always that odd person I’ll meet that will tell me, “You are Jackson Biko? Oh are you the guy who replaced Oyunga Pala?” And I want to move within an inch of their face and shout, “YES, AND IT’S BEEN SIX BLOODY YEARS, GET OVER IT, PENGUIN-FACE!” But that can be misconstrued as aggression or psychosis, so I always offer a tight smile and say timidly, “Indeed it’s me.”  Everytime I tell Oyunga this he just chuckles (Oyunga never really laughs, he chuckles. I doubt he even sweats). I tell him, “OP, please tell your people that I’m more than just the guy who replaced you, I have feelings!”

Pan out to our 28-year old guy.

You think you aren’t living the life you thought you would be living? That’s hilarious. Welcome to the real world because not only are most people not living the lives they thought they would, they aren’t even living their own lives. We are simply living life for other people. Buying things we don’t need or can’t afford so that other people can see and admire. Buying yoga mats because it’s in. Going vegan because it’s cool. Living for other people’s approval. I have a friend who has swanky-ass golf equipment in his house, leaning strategically in the corridor as you walk in. He doesn’t even play golf, this cat. He has never played golf. Can’t swing for shit. But he keeps it there as a prop, as social capital. For the benefit of chicks. He figures a woman walks in there and sees this golf equipment and immediately wants to tear his clothes off because he’s so upwardly mobile. He figures the golf equipment would get her dizzy with lust. “Oh, Jamo, I didn’t know you play golf! How sexy! Come here, help me out of this bra.” (Eye roll).

You think that’s pathetic? Oh no, it’s not. What’s pathetic is that his little golf shtick works ALL the time. Like grownass women fall for it. He always says – tongue in cheek – that golf equipment unit has “made back” his return in investment. If you are ever going to take anything away from this paragraph it’s that nothing is ever what it seems. Nothing. This city is run on image and impressions; smoke and mirrors. Nobody is ever as happy as they seem on social media. Nobody is ever as beautiful on social media as they are in person. Nobody’s life is ever as rich and fulfilling as it seems online. Relationships and marriages aren’t as happy as they look. Nobody is as brilliant or as bold or as intelligent in real life as they are on Twitter. Social media is like a woman wearing a corset. Always remember that. Don’t believe anything you see around, it will make you feel inadequate, unaccomplished and empty. And it will distract you. This city, my friend, is one big costume party where people show up wearing what they choose, not what they have. So pick yours, just don’t believe that that’s who you are.

Did you write this lovely list on where you would be at the 30-year mark? Did that plan tumble like a pack of cards? Mine too! Scattered in the cold wind. You know, between you and me, I actually thought by now I would have a beach house, a very small deserted beach cabin, one bedroom, an open kitchen and a strip of beach beyond. A small man cave cast in a remote part of our coastline. In my grand plan I would go down every few months and eat fish and local vegetables, walk around shirtless, drink whisky, walk on the beach, go out on a dug-out canoe with Omar or Hussein and in the evening furiously write from the verandah until late in the night. That was the plan. It hasn’t happened.  I thought at 35 I would have three daughters; a roomful of progesterone, dolls and irrepressive moods – mine included. Instead I have one daughter and son, but they are the most beautiful and joyous children and that gives me tremendous purpose. I thought by now I wouldn’t be paying rent. Instead I’m still paying rent – I’m three years late with that rent-free dream. Also, I haven’t visited Dakar Senegal like I thought I would at 35. You know, visit House of Slaves – Maison des Esclaves and its Door of No Return and stand there and feel if indeed savagery has a pulse.  I haven’t backpacked through Europe either- I’m one year late with that one.  Am I feeling completely rotten about it? Only when I think about it while sitting in the loo at 3 in the morning, but during the day? Nope, it doesn’t make me feel bad, because I know as long as I’m wearing pants and I have breath in my lungs, all these things will happen. I could moan about them, of course, and overlook the tremendous blessings I have, but I refuse to. So don’t beat yourself over the head. Hell, maybe we can have that whisky that I keep talking about. Hehe.

You mentioned that you can’t find the right woman to be with? Have you tried Millionaires Club at 3am? Haha. No, I’m kidding. I don’t mean to sound like your drunk uncle but come on, looking for a girl at 28? What are you, a romantic? You want someone to be rubbing your back sometimes, tell you how great you are? Someone to stroke your beard maybe? (You sound like a beard guy, us beard guys know each other). You like kissing at the beach, huh? And staring at the half-crescent moon with your hand on her ass? Is that on your list? Actually that moon/ass thing should  be on your list.

Here is a truism: girls will always be there whether you are 28 or 68. So don’t ever worry about girls, it’s fruitless. The beautiful ones are yet to be born anyway. There is a chap I know, who while in college had zero success with girls.  Very nice chap, generous and all. He was from Ukambani, came to Nairobi with a small bag and a Kamba accent. Like Joe Black. He lived across from my door at some point in the hostels. Zero game, I tell you. He wore those shiny coats that when you stand in the sun reflects so hard it can start a bush fire.  He had one girlfriend who always made it look like she was doing him a favour. Then she left him during the third year. And I never saw another girl set foot in his room.

We graduated. I saw him on and off. He was doing some printing work. Still wore horrendous coats. Then he fell off the grid. Life happened.

Seven years later, I’m driving out of Sarit Center at the ticket-booth and who do I see driving in a sleek black BMW-X5 with an extremely HOT chick riding shotgun? Himselfo. (Always wanted to say that). His car and that girl were so inconsistent with the shiny-coat guy I knew I thought it was a mirage. So he sees me, sticks his head out of the window and insists “No, you have to drive back in Biko, come bana we have a drink it’s been a while.” But I know what’s going on here; he wants to show me that he has made it. He wants validation. And I’m a guy, I’m cool with that, I can’t deny him this moment. So I drive back in.

We sat at Hidden Agenda, his business card read Clearing and Forwarding. His own shop. Made his money at the port. No shiny coats anymore, just shiny shirts. (Kaos!) I was completely thrilled for him and his good fortune. He introduced me gallantly, like he was my employer:  “Jackson Biko? The guy who writes?” he told her proudly with a loving arm around my shoulder and that normally embarrasses me – the introduction, not the arm around my shoulder, that I rather like. Hehe. Here is the funniest thing, I could tell that that hot chick  had never heard of me or even read any of my work but she didn’t want to embarrass him or me so she smiled sweetly and then lied through her lipstick, “Oooh, nice to meet you finally.” Like she has been dyyyying to meet me.  I liked that level of bullshit. I really really did. She was a smart girl who knew how to align herself to the direction of the wind. Great people skills, that one, and an even better toe nails.

So, my point? Girls will come. You want a wife? A wife will also come.  Worrying about girls is the most self defeating thought you can ever engage in. And oh, there is no such thing as the right woman. Not really. The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.

Ati you go to bars to drown your sorrow? The thing with going to bars to drown your sorrow is that you will actually drown. Don’t be that guy who drinks his life away. There are no solutions in bars. You will not find yourself or answers in a bottle. Clarity doesn’t occur on your 12th beer and if it does, you won’t notice it. The friends who can help you are not in bars. The only thing you will find in a bar, for certain, is a bill. So get out of the bar, boss. There is nothing there.

Don’t feel bad about being at a crossroads, as you call it. Everybody is at some crossroad or other. The 25-year old guy probably thinks he isn’t cool enough, so he wants to be the last one out of a bar at 6am to show how “turnt up” he can get. The 38-year old probably looks at 40 with dread and looks down the road at what he’s done and thinks he has done shit with his life. The 45-year old is guilted by the fact that he doesn’t own his own business as planned and now he’s imprisoned with school fees and mortgage. The 55-year old is probably losing his erection. And his hairline. The 60 year old wants to be 28 again. Crossroads, my friend are only a problem if you stand at them for too long. Don’t give age too much importance.

Talking of age. Tamms turned 8 yesterday. (cue: vuvuzelas). 6:05 am, I leave the bathroom with a towel around my waist and as I head to the bedroom I see her seated in the sitting room in her pink bathrobe. Before her is untouched breakfast. Boomerang is on TV. I never know how she wakes up, that one, sometimes she’s moody sometimes she’s chirpy. So you observe first before you make a move.

I tell her, “Happy birthday darling!” and kiss her on the cheek and she smiles shyly and offers me this one-handed hug. Like she couldn’t be bothered. So I thought maybe she’s depressed that she’s getting old, si you know chicks and age? Maybe she woke up and looked in the mirror and saw what looked like a stretch mark under her arm and now she thinks she isn’t beautiful. Hehe.

I sit next to her, put my hand around her waist and ask, “What’s wrong, darling?”  She says, “I’m fine.” Then I realise that as men we spend half of our lives asking the women in our lives, “What’s wrong, darling?”  and get the same answer. “I’m fine.” Then we spend the other half of our lives asking our daughters the same question and get the exact same answer. Dog’s life, I tell you.

Anyway, we both watch TV for a moment as I wonder how to say something that will elicit a lengthier conversation. “Are you happy?”  I ask. She says she is. Are you sure? I ask again. She says she is. I ask her, “When were you the happiest in your life?”

She looks at me and asks, “What do you mean?” And I say, “Between the time you were one year and now you are 8, when did you have the most fun, you know, and you were very happy?”

She thinks about it for a second and says, “When I was 6 years old.” I ask why, what happened when you were 6? And she says when she was at her former school in Shani Kito (I moved her to a different school.)

“I was happy because of my friends.” She says.

“Oh, you miss them?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like your new school?”

“Yes.”

“Do you like your friends in your new school?

“Yes, they are nice.”

“Which of your friends from Shani Kito do you miss the most?”

“Jewel.” [If she said Ian or Patrick, I would have had a heart attack and seizure combined and died!]

“What’s her second name?”

“I have forgotten.”

That made me sad, her missing her Jewel like that. Probably wondering if Jewel is fine, or if she married a prince too early. Here is a plea, if you know the parents of a girl called Jewel from Shani Kito, or if by some stroke of luck you are the parent and you are reading this, could you pleeeease email me (bikozulu@gmail.com) so that we reunite these kids for one weekend? Say a ka Saturday/Sunday lunch somewhere where kids can swing and slide? My treat. Thanks.

To send the 28-year old chap on his way.

I run in Karura Forest every Saturday morning, if I’m not travelling. I do the 10km trail.  Karura is gorgeous on a Saturday morning. I don’t run fast, just at a steady pace. Sometimes some skinny-ass guy passes me mid-run, literally zooms right past me, a blur of black, a “racist” no doubt, and I’m like, “Whoa Kipngetich, easy!” Sometimes a much chubbier guy passes me, or a much older guy trots past me and there is always that urge to catch up with them, to compete with them. I call it the Acute Subaru Syndrome. (ASS). It’s how Subaru guys behave on the road; they think if you overtake them that it’s an invite to race with them.

At Karura there is always that temptation to catch up because nobody likes being left behind. We all want to go to heaven, right? I realised soon enough that you don’t have to catch up with anyone. And for me I have drawn tremendous life lessons from running. Running – like life – teaches you to go at your own pace because you don’t know what those guys passing you had for breakfast. You don’t know if they are visiting from Eltoret. Hehe. You don’t know the capacity of their lungs.  You don’t know if they are on drugs. Go at your own pace.

Also, don’t listen to any voice apart from your own voice, the mind is a very powerful tool, it can be poisonous as it can be a weapon for success. You might run with other guys and you will sometimes run alongside people who talk a lot during a run. You will listen to people who might say, “Oh gosh, this is so hard, my chest is burning, I can’t run anymore! Why don’t we stop and walk for a while! I can’t do it. This 10kms was a bad idea!” Like life, those are the people to avoid running with. Going to a bar to “drown your sorrows” with your pals is very much like running with people who say negative things during a run, they never help the run. You want to run with people who say, “Shit it’s bloody hard, but let’s keep moving.” Or “One step at a time, we can do it.” “Or “We are almost there,” (Even when you aren’t). That positive vibe feeds into your muscles and lungs and you keep going even when you don’t feel like it.

The trick to running, like life, is to trudge along, one step at a time. Don’t think of it in terms of kilometers, but in little milestones; that corner coming ahead, that little uphill stretch ahead, that big tree ahead. There is great joy in fulfilling the small targets.

Of course it’s painful and gruesome (especially when having a hangover), but it’s fulfilling because nothing easy ever made an impact.

I notice a lot of people running with lovely sports gear. You see some rich-looking 50’s Somali guy in the full Adidas merchandise. Or the latest Nike running shoes. Does it mean they are enjoying the run more than you? Does it mean they are more committed or consistent? Will they finish before you because they have top of the range gear? Maybe, but also maybe not. That’s life, so stop looking at what your pals are doing, driving, working, wearing, dating, it doesn’t mean anything at the end of it all. Just do you.

Last weekend I did a 10 km while on this Jane Mukami 15-day detox madness. I didn’t think I would hack the 10 kms to be honest because I was hungry and weak as eff. But when I got to the fork of the trail that separates the 10 kms and the 5 km, Luis, one of the chaps I was running with said, “Just do 10 kms, boss, let’s do it, you can do it.” And we took the 10km trail. But then 8kms in I was burnt out, I was completely tired and I wanted to walk, but then I thought I’d disappoint the rest but I figured the rest weren’t on detox, they were on three meals a day, I was on one. So I stopped and walked for a bit then started running again and finished at 1hr 07 mins. Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.

Most importantly it has to be fun.  I don’t go to a Karura to run because it’s a trend, this ain’t Larry’s show. I go because I love running, been running for years, clears my head, I come up with ideas as I run, I write intros on the trail, makes me feel alive. It’s fun – I wouldn’t do it if it wasn’t. So only do things that are fun in life.

Everybody who is determined to finish WILL finish a run. There are those who finish earlier than others. There are those who finish last. But when we are all lying on the grass, smiling, glowing with triumph, stretching our stiff limbs and someone walks up to the group, do you think they would know who finished first or last? That’s exactly how life is. It doesn’t matter who finished first or who finished last. They are all winners.

Image credit

Tags

567 thoughts on “A Long Post About Life”

  1. Pauline Peter says:

    Let me be the first one to comment

  2. lydia says:

    Hehehehe Penguin-face…is anyone watching Gotham?

  3. Nancy says:

    Social media is like a woman wearing a corset.
    (cwl)

  4. Magunga says:

    1. Life is for the living.
    2. What Oyunga Pala fans do to you is what your fans will one day do to whoever takes over from you. I think it might even be worse.
    3. Started running with my bro late last year. Strathmore Uni drill happened. He fell. Then fell sick. Wasn’t allowed to run; doctor’s orders. So I kicked my running shoes under the bed in solidarity. He is better now. We should be resuming soon. And that Karura trail sounds like a plan.
    http://www.magunga.com/in-the-long-run/

  5. A says:

    Literary Genius!

  6. Annie says:

    I feel counselled too. Amazing!

  7. Brebre says:

    Another great and inspiring post Biko

  8. margie says:

    Such a beautiful read and soooo many truths

  9. Brenda says:

    Good read.
    it’s like i was the 28yr old you were writing to.

  10. Hellen Ak says:

    Am encouraged beyond words Biko….am sure the 28yr old too.thanks

  11. aguacamina says:

    I tried putting a smiley but I couldn’t. Cheers to being 28 and winning

  12. D.B Cooper says:

    Have you ever seen me in a ‘shiny’? Biko?

  13. Lesh says:

    Lovely piece…. Timely for a great year ahead. Lesh.

  14. Patricia says:

    “Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.”
    Word 🙂 Thank you Biko for this reminder.

  15. Carol says:

    I haven’t made my new year resolutions yet. Last year was bad and I needed to figure out this year before making undoable goals. Thanks Biko this post is just what I needed. Anything is possible. Great read by the way!

  16. ALIA ABDUL AZIZ says:

    Beautiful you always leave me in awe with your articles! Great stuff.

  17. robert says:

    Wow, just wow. I don’t have enough adjectives to describe how wonderful this read is. I have to stop running and gather my self. For starters i will read “Unofficial Goldman Sachs Guide to being a Man”.

    Thank you Chocolate man i needed this, I owe you a whisky.

  18. Mokaya says:

    Isn’t this guy something else?
    Well put Biko.

  19. Cheruto says:

    Such a beautiful piece. ‘That’s exactly how life is. It doesn’t matter who finished first or who finished last. They are all winners.
    Image credit’

  20. muthoni says:

    I love how you paint a picture with words.

  21. Peter says:

    Now thats an inspiring way of starting 2016 since i’ll be done with college by april and face life alone.

  22. Wairimu says:

    Oh my. (Wamai— to borrow from Jeff Koinange..he he he) This is very true and on point! Very good read and uplifting!

  23. Jude says:

    This is so very true. So the forehead comes with its wisdom

  24. Gee says:

    Biko you will kill me with laughter one day.Social media is like a woman wearing a corset..Good one there.

  25. Linnet says:

    Those were some nice, deep words! Thanks Biko…

  26. Vickie says:

    Your articles; from sat magazines to true love, your blog everywhere, are always so on point….Very nice article, i can well relate to some of the things you have mentioned and i have learnt ( some light bulb moments) and laughed as i always do in many of your articles.Thank you.

  27. Baraka says:

    So bloody wise and true… jishinde ushinde

  28. Lisa says:

    Word! it doesn’t matter who finished first or last, we are all winners! Excellent Biko.

  29. Violet says:

    best 2016 read :-). very true, we all get caught up in life, but just do you.

  30. abdullah omar says:

    you are nut to be replaced or tightened you are biko basi maneno kwisha

  31. Wangarii says:

    Ingenious as always… ☺

  32. Wangari says:

    Ingenious as always ☺

  33. Odhis says:

    I usually read and enjoy your articles thoroughly. Later in the day, my friend Irene will call and ask “did you read Bike’s article?”

  34. Susan says:

    Thank you Biko.

  35. Krystal says:

    THANK YOU! I now have a name for the dick syndrome that all subaru drivers suffer from. This was great. Go at your own pace. I needed to hear that. Sometimes we get hung up on that instagram life that’s just full of posturing and posers.
    Great read Biko!

  36. Medi says:

    Great piece; just at the right time when am at a crossroad..hehe too. And coincidentally am called Jewel so goodluck finding the little Jewel. Go on make Tamms happy!!

  37. Obara says:

    Always add a smiley, you just never know what lonely heart it might warm.

  38. Ymona says:

    This ain’t Larry’s show! Me thought you’d deliver your Tony guy to the flock and maybe play match maker here…. Hahaha

  39. reginamwengi says:

    where were you when i was 28? however your advise is on point..

  40. Fred Musau says:

    Great as always. Sport on advice to the young lad, specially because it’s based on honest critical experience. And I have to salute this creativity in the line, “What’s pathetic is that his little golf shtick works ALL the time. Like some grownass women fall for it.” Amazing how you subtly point out to the ‘two’ golf sticks in one sentence with one symbolic of the other! Thanks Biko.

  41. Ciiku says:

    Great perspectives Biko… one to bookmark & reference; A good reminder not to get caught up with keeping up with others; & to enjoy life, after all no one makes it out alive!

  42. This is the BEST post I have ever read. Inspiration for 2016 with the lot of us having same resolutions every year. Biko, allow me to reblog this. Full link attribution on you.

  43. KIM says:

    social media is like women on corsets..spot on

    and that kipngetich guy is actually me,kipngetich from eltret lol

  44. Ruth says:

    I needed that too…been feeling like I haven’t achieved much without a family at thirty. Thanks Biko. Maybe I should start running on Saturdays around my neighborhood 😉

  45. Lol (@NginaOkeyo) says:

    brilliant

  46. Morris says:

    Let me comment first then i will read

  47. Abigail O. says:

    I am totally, absolutely inspired. Very timely at my current point in life. Am trusting my journey and will take the pauses as much as I need to. Thanks Biko and may Tamms find Jewel, and ‘Tony’ find himself..

  48. Wambura says:

    “Running – like life – teaches you to go at your own pace because you don’t know what those guys passing you had for breakfast. You don’t know if they are visiting from Eltoret. Hehe. You don’t know the capacity of their lungs. You don’t know if they are on drugs. Go at your own pace.””….how so true. I run and this made me laugh so hard…

  49. evans owiddo says:

    Thanks Biko.

  50. Atieno Oloo says:

    Biko you are the best

  51. Muthoni says:

    But where has this 28-year-old been if he has never read Bikozulu? Mscheeew! I had that woishe look in the paragraph you talk about feelings!! P.s I love my job, it’s too much work for little pay, but because it’s something I love doing, I wake up everyday and kick ass!
    http://www.treatsonabudget.co.ke/

  52. eliani says:

    sante sana.. best remedy for me too

  53. Gema says:

    Encouraging read. Day made

  54. sheilah says:

    Good way to start a year. thanks biko for such an encouraging artilcle

  55. Leon Mwenda says:

    “The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.”

    That sentence Biko, that sentence deserves an article of its own. Beurriful, just beurriful.

  56. Cate says:

    Ooh, look who commented on this piece…. Magunga… Do you two know something about each other??? Can’t resist your pieces of work… I hope you usually meet up on certain satoz n have a bottle of whiskey N do the tosting like… “to our fans”.. Or something while OP is sitted on the counter shaking his head like…..” daaaamn.. Those two “… Hehe…

    • Magunga says:

      That is some imagination you have. I hope you are in advertising

    • MARY says:

      cate….Magunga uploads this stuff………..biko told, and they are like on a first name basis with each other………..and oyunga Pala…he who had a bee go up his leg on the bench with Jeff Koinange on Tv and dint sweat is probably their god father………..just saying

  57. purity says:

    I love how you articulate facts…. I have been on crossroads but as you said, you cant stand there for too long. Life is a race, you run, you stroll but you can’t stop. Keep moving and make memories while at it. #Godspeed

  58. Twayler says:

    I needed to hear this at this exact moment as I am in the same boat only difference is I am a woman and turning 27 in February.thank you

  59. Mose says:

    Waaaaah what a piece
    Ciiku, thanks for the pointer…surely no one makes out alive in this race

  60. macharia says:

    I salute for the insightful piece, may your spring live on to quench our thirst for words.

  61. Luis says:

    If social media stuff was real, the marriages especially, they’d be telling us when they’re rock bottom, not only when they’re at the Eiffel Tower taking selfies. Wise counsel, God Bless you.

  62. zero chills says:

    Acute Subaru Syndrome 😉

  63. Gyinah says:

    So refreshing!!

  64. Jesse's Girl says:

    Biko sounds like one hell of a dad. If Tamms misses Jewel from Shani Kito, Tamms gets Jewel from Shani Kito. (His treat no less). I wish Biko was my dad.

  65. Sam says:

    Biko… this is why I like reading your stuff. This is a gem, and is directly congruent with how I look at life. Although I have quite some accomplishments under my belt, I also know that deep down there is a secret and very sneaky voice which reminds me that I am simply not good enough… and I do not hesitate to yell ‘shindwe’ at its sneakiness and insidious message. A point of clarity though… as a Subaru driver, the ASS you allude to is not the result of a thought. The machine has a life of its own, the driver just can’t help it. I offer you my Subaru for a weekend.

    Sam.

  66. Christine says:

    Never commented before…is there usually a trophy for the first to comment? I always silently see….’let me be first to comment “

  67. owira says:

    Thanks biko..just graduated…friends in blue chip companies and here iam with this company i started in campus because i want to build a business empire…things been rough lately…and been wondering if it was all worth it or should i just quit it and go get a job…sth i really disliked..this just put sh*t into persepective for me…thanks man

  68. nyawira says:

    While this is tormenting to women, we are able to talk about,cry about it and feel better. For men its a whole different science, how you kill yourselves and never reach out. Glad this 28 year old was smart enough to do it, anonymously but effectively. He will get good advice and no one will never know who the ‘sissy’ is. Oyunga Pala said some deep s**t the other day at the BIEA on the same topic (sorry I was his fan first). He gave his own personal experience on his earlier writing, his conflicted identity and finding himself. Deep stuff. Good job Biko!

  69. Kami J says:

    Awesome read…Motivation without the cliche structure.

  70. Ithong'o Gathagu says:

    You better than PA hands down! Lovely read, thank you.

  71. Betty says:

    Thanks Biko.. this applies to my life in so many ways.. always nice reading your articles.
    Started running this year. Still taking those little walks in between but its all good right?? Will get there. Thanks Biko.. this is really inspiring. Happy birthday to Tamms!!

  72. Irene Muya says:

    lovely piece chocolate man.

  73. Joyce says:

    Great piece. What I needed.

  74. Alfred says:

    What an awesome read Biko. So insightful!

  75. Narasha says:

    ..we need a Biko’s Show..Great as always! Brought tears and joy at the same time..Only you can do this to me!

  76. keenjoz says:

    This is amazing.. Good counsel

  77. Christine says:

    “girls will always be there whether you are 28 or 68″….just wondering will the men always be there when I am 35 or 50?

    • elle says:

      Christine,

      Unfortunately, no. It’s just the way life is. A 68-year-old man can choose from a wider pool of women aged 18 years to 80 years. A 50-year-old woman would most likely be looking for older men (who are probably widowed or divorced) or a younger man perhaps in his 40s (again widowed or divorced since most would be married by then). She can opt for the 18-year-old chap but that might not appeal to her either. So her pool is limited to late 30s to 70 years. Then again, that 38-year-old chap she may be eyeing may desire a younger woman esp if he hasn’t married before or had children. Something about biology and seeking a youthful woman to sire healthy children.

    • Mr. Nduta says:

      In this age of sponsors,everything is possible

  78. Tettah says:

    Life is not a competition. In your own words … the guys passing you could be on drugs hehe
    You’ve blessed me with this piece Biko. So many truths and life realities. Thanks

  79. Ninah says:

    I can read this again and again and again. Beautiful!!

  80. Seth says:

    Felt motivated.

  81. Cynthia says:

    This is exactly what I needed.Thank you Chocolate man.

  82. Leah says:

    Biko.Great talk feel counselled too.I can now start viewing life differently.
    Thanks inspiring

  83. David says:

    Wow,Resolutions summed up.Thank you for touching,brightening our hearts and for making us laugh at ourselves.Good work Biko

  84. Miriam says:

    Fabulous piece.It’s ok to be at crossroads just don’t stay there.Biko thispiece is just what the doctor ordered

  85. Sonnie says:

    such a beautiful read Biko. thank you and happy new year.

  86. doreen says:

    Wow, such a great piece & timely reminder to live life at own pace

  87. Carolle says:

    Many people compare themselves to others i included it makes you feel like you have achieved something. I needed this thank you Biko

  88. Sharon Manyarkiy says:

    Amazing piece Biko. This was a great piece to kickstart the year.

  89. Ike says:

    I will walk my at my pace and travel my journey peacefully.Thanks Biko

  90. Anne says:

    Very accurate description of running in Karura. Could not have compared life in a better way!! Great Job Biko, will be getting out my running shoes….. again 🙂

  91. Amoit says:

    I remember one day *SIX YEARS AGO* I picked up my Satmag and opened to Mantalk, favourite column, followed closely by Flakes then the rest. I read through 1st paragraph, second and paused. It wasn’t Oyunga Pala. I checked, and sure enough it wasn’t.
    Hehe, kill me now..

    Someday, hopefully, we’ll do that to your replacement. “You are the one who replaced the guy who replaced Oyunga Pala? The one with the big forehead? No, not Oyunga Pala, his replacement?”

    hehe, I’ll get back to reading..

  92. Emily says:

    Nothing easy ever made an impact…wise words and all in all, an amazing piece

  93. Mercy says:

    Thanks Biko. Umegonga ndipo. You are heaven sent. Lord knows i needed to hear this. Age will always catch up with us, we all won’t get married at the same time or have babies at the same time. Like milestones in a child they are all achieved at different times because we are all unique.
    Having said that, hope i can find me that man to grow old with. In the meantime i shall have fun.
    Hope Tamms gets that play date with Jewel.

  94. Nyangi says:

    What an excellent read Biko. That was some deep advice for the 28 year old and indeed myself. Its pointless trying to keep up with others when at the end of the journey we are all winners.

  95. Tim says:

    Magnificent piece right there. Indeed, everyone has their own pace in life and what matters is not how fast you run but whether or not you finished the race and did it just right.
    http://nairobidailynews.com/health/5-ways-to-lose-weight-this-year/

  96. Nava says:

    good advice that i too can use

  97. Irene says:

    My best read in 2016, so far. Inspired.

  98. Nao says:

    Great read especially with the new year. It’s easy to look at your accomplishments and get overwhelmed by how much you are yet to work on. And also I love reading your work and I like that you have a different style form Oyunga Pala. I am guaranteed of laughing out loud at some point. By the way, You know how you say Everything is a story, I came across something similar in a book by Malcolm Gladwell – What the Dog saw and other adventures.

  99. Davie says:

    I am 28 too and I felt like this was talking to me directly. Great piece, very encouraging.

  100. Faith says:

    This post didn’t feel like a long post at all. I have enjoyed reading and learnt some lessons too. Thank you Biko

  101. Frances says:

    This right here is chicken soup for the soul. Oh, how important it is to make peace with your past and focus on running your race. Thanks Biko!

  102. PattyO says:

    Thank you for the beautiful words penned and pegged in real life. This is as plainly put as it is about life. We get to points where we see all our peers doing ‘things’ yet we feel stagnant forgetting that all these happen in different stages. I salute you Biko and Happy New Year… i think this email should have come in as your first post but oh well..

  103. Andrew says:

    Great Piece and awesome advice…

  104. Fridah Nyakundi says:

    Nice read.

  105. kim says:

    reality simply put! and I should check out that trail, sounds fun and healthier than my usual Thika Rd.

  106. Lucy says:

    Amazing piece Biko! Absolutely true with just the right timing; at the beginning of the year.

  107. Pauline says:

    Thank you Biko. Am not 28 but i needed to hear/read this.

  108. Winnie says:

    Thanks Biko…..I will take this as a birthday treat from you to me.
    Great piece for women as well ….nothing is what it seems. Run at your own pace 🙂

  109. Lydia says:

    I want to print this out and frame it for my brother and for my son when he starts growing a beard.

  110. Dr Jean says:

    WOW Biko! What a gem of a post! I feel counselled as well! Oyunga Who?? :).

  111. Jen says:

    Awesome… Liked the part about standing on the crossroads for too long… Never though about it like that….

  112. Kalunde says:

    Thanks Biko….staying too long at the crossroads is what’s a problem!! I like that….the going at your own pace thing reminded me of my journey up Mt Kenya and my team was the best. On the 2nd day things were thick but these guys literally took my hand and walked with me. Walking with the right friends is really important.

  113. Chris says:

    “The trick to running, like life, is to trudge along, one step at a time. Don’t think of it in terms of kilometers, but in little milestones; that corner coming ahead, that little uphill stretch ahead, that big tree ahead. There is great joy in fulfilling the small targets.”….Hapa umenena kama wazee wote!!!

  114. Martin says:

    Love the analogies to running. Spot on Biko!

  115. BEN says:

    This is really inspiring Biko. Best Advice Here.

  116. Makena says:

    I read your blog religiously but never comment but for this piece, beautiful and very honest. Thank you Biko.

  117. penina muchiri says:

    I would still be waiting for my childhood friend to begin our morning workouts … When she began giving excuses I made a decision to continue without her 🙂 Now when we meet she goes like “you look good” and I go like “Ooh Yes!”

  118. Valentine says:

    This was not just for the 28 year old. It was mine too. Beautiful read. I am motivated.

    What if Jewel is a boy? These names, you are never sure.

  119. Titus Etori says:

    Good is good and refreshing especially without political jingoism

  120. Wahito says:

    man…this Is some heavy and deep stuff… ‘the ‘right woman’ is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do’- a gem.

  121. Ardent fan says:

    Great read Biko. So far my favourite. ASS Syndrome, hilarious

  122. Lulu says:

    Nice piece .When you were starting out we were comparing your style to Oyunga Pala’s but now I love your blog more .Keep it up ,write more articles I am always entertained .You have a fan base in our office

  123. Mary says:

    for someone turning 30 and has not ticked half of the list i made at 20,thank you!thank you for reminding me that life is not about what you see all around you but rather what you do with what you have.i am trully blessed but sometimes its hard seeing that when all you can see is those doing better than you.i will bookmark this to read on one of the bad days!cheers Biko,from one of your silent followers. 🙂

  124. Brenda says:

    In all your work Biko, this, I will read every morning. Speaks to me, at 24 at times I feel I am falling so behind. Such insight here for me

  125. Isz says:

    Amazing, This runs deep, very deep.

  126. deedee says:

    nice peace i enjoyed reading it…

  127. Simiyu Rombosia says:

    On point like Yego’s javelin. Always known vis comica to be the best tool for advice. On anything.

  128. Euphy says:

    I keep running out of words to describe how good you are! Thank you for this article. And thank you Tony* [not his real name] for igniting the wisdom that is expressed in this post.

  129. murikira says:

    Acute subaru-syndrome- heheheh . Yes subaru drivers have that ….

    .I loved article

  130. Ginah says:

    When i started reading the mantalk column…it was always Biko..never found this OP..when as a form one back in 2009…

    and loved the column as “eff”… 😉
    at my own pace though.

  131. Kennedy says:

    Acute Subaru Syndrome

  132. Prince Harry says:

    at 22 this is what id like someone to tell me..best read this year…*seems that forehead has alot to offer*Godspeed Biko*

  133. Fiona Kyazike says:

    Biko the counselor? We all sound like we needed to put things into perspective. It was timely Biko. Thank you. How old are you Biko? Just curious.

  134. Lynn says:

    Biko, this is the story of my life…. We r all winners. Thanx fr such an inspiring post 🙂

  135. Njeri says:

    Eff that… Running can never be fun. But do it anyway!

  136. jim says:

    I am an Oyunga Pala orphan and I do not apologize. Pala was in his own league. Pala’s style was completely different. Me thinks majority of Pala fans are now above the mid forties like yours truly. Maybe it’s a generation thing? Maybe we loved Pala because he is in our age group? That generation that went straight to Class 1 in the 70’s. Nursery did not exist back then. The generation that remembers Jomo Kenyatta speaking on Black and White TV. I think that generation is really cool. Most come across as calm, balanced and at peace with life. Running their own race at THEIR own pace. No groupies. No pressure to conform. Something else. They don’t harp about their age. They don’t show off. They drive smoothly (Heck, they probably drove theirs first car in the ’90s) They don’t covet. They ARE balanced. Demeanour speaks volumes about your age bracket. So do the things you say.

    About Tony? Oh, well. Reading and practising the words in Desiderata would be a good start. Then he needs to locate and have long conversations with a Male from THAT generation. He will regale you with tales about Life Lessons.

    • Fridah says:

      I couldn’t have described this generation better. Maybe I can add somethings you left out like this generation like to social drink at Caribea, kilimani, in groupies; speaking some sheng you can’t get at all and they talk about 90s stuff alot like playing football at kibera, talk of places that were bushes back then but now you can’t afford the rent of the flat located there and some still live in those MF flats madaraka. To be honest they are peaceful but they don’t believe how much things have changed. I think its because they were literally paid while in main campus and never tarmacked to get a job in government.

    • Mr. Nduta says:

      I read OP and I’m in my early 30’s

    • clara says:

      This is wisdom and so true.

    • Charles Kagana says:

      If it gets too hot for you in here then, mzee, please get out of the kitchen.

  137. Merci says:

    Great read Biko, and thanks for the counsel. I turned 33 last month, too many questions from folks about when am starting a family, I keep telling them I run my own race.

  138. Chebet says:

    Inspiring read.

  139. spota says:

    The only thing you will find in a bar, for certain, is a bill. Best words I’ve read this year.

  140. Ndichu says:

    This is amazing. Its the medicine my doctor had prescribed for me this year

  141. Wambui says:

    This man Biko. Now our certified inhouse counselor. Great read!

  142. jcee says:

    Great read to begin 2016……better than resolutions. Stop looking at what other people are doing. it reminds me of thAT DESIDERATA line which i live by – Do not compare your life with others. you will either become vain or bitter…vain because there will always be lesser people than you or bitter because there will always be greater people than you. cheers

  143. Abigail says:

    I also enjoy bullshit. Looking forward to when people will be trying so hard to impress me.
    Ati the woman who accepts your weaknesses before you do? Omera I cannot allow. Love is a bitch. Don’t make it harder by also being a bitch. (signed, the Jaded one)
    http://www.akello.co.ke/the-sound-of-me

  144. God knows I needed this. At just 18, I feel that I’m at a crossroads of some sorts. Where i wanna be, contrast that with where some of my agemates already are at. I’m at that point where I’m walking and figuring things out first. Bless you Chocolate Man and a happy eighth birthday to Tamms. Cheers

  145. Tony says:

    Amazing.Some life lessons indeed.

  146. Mike says:

    Awesome read

  147. Diana K says:

    Awesome writing!

  148. Jack says:

    You are on point like a decimal.

  149. Judy says:

    Biko, I have been hear a couple of times, read your stuff and pretty much moved on but, on this one, I can’t. Let me say thank you, for everything you have written and for how so true it is. Keep doing what you do – keep doing you.

  150. Miss bush says:

    Biko, imagine that article was dedicated to me. Being in my early twenties, just completed college, no boyfriend, no job. Yaani i feel as if am just stagnant as if there is something am doing wrong. But you encourage me greatly. Thanks biko. Happy birthday to Tamms

    • Linda Musimbi says:

      Me too, at twenty three and I feel like I am at crossroads. Just graduated, no job and broke up with my campus boyfriend.But I feel that one day I will break the stagnancy. Biko is inspiring.

  151. Emmanuel Rerimoi says:

    This is a great piece. It speaks for me and many others.

  152. rozzet says:

    Social media is like a woman wearing a corset. Always remember that. …A Great, timely and inspiring read!!

  153. Githii says:

    Amazing how you interlock humor and inspiration into such a lovely pieces!

  154. Brooke says:

    This is an insight. I can literally relate to most fears highlighted herein; but more to the timely counsel. Feeling much better now with a new plan in mind. Thanks a Million

  155. Mathew says:

    wow,thanks Biko, We are on at it again you never disappoint brother. Keep doing you

  156. mercy says:

    thanks biko ..highly encouraged

  157. Eva Kiruthi says:

    Thank you Biko!and happy belated Birthday to Tamms.

  158. Annie says:

    Hehehe! Funny but with so much sense. I had been looking for something to start off my year and this is it. This is what I had needed to hear!

  159. Wanja says:

    life lessons!! lovely piece

  160. Mo says:

    Great piece Biko. For the love of me I have never known why many folks in Nairobi want to lead a life that’s not their own driven by trends and superficiality. I think I would need 2 lives to do that. I really wish people would keep it real ☺️

  161. Wambui says:

    Accurate description of life!As well as the Subaru syndrome…hehe.
    Here’s to living life at my pace.

  162. wanjiru says:

    Beautiful I needed this to.

  163. Lyanne says:

    Social media is like a woman wearing a corset. Always
    remember that…Indeed.I love reading your blog 🙂
    Thank you for reminding me that i should be grateful for what i have and all my achievements.Trust me i will be one of those Biko’s fans who will annoy your predecessor(praying not anytime soon).Happy Birthday to Tamms;-)

  164. sheilagee59@gmail.com says:

    Wow..Another favourite post

  165. Sammy says:

    Awesome read. I am at that point in life where I haven’t found the right path,let alone the right pace.

  166. Terri says:

    Great piece.. now lets wait for a stampede at Karura this weekend ! Ill be leading the pack lol.

  167. Sue says:

    That Tony guy sounds like a friend of mine, but a bit older. He is at a hell of a crossroads and am sure this blog post would definitely speak to him in more ways than anyone else can. Biko, bless you a gazillion times, you’re God-sent. Totally sharing this with a friend in neeed

  168. Sue says:

    That Tony guy sounds like a friend of mine, but a bit older. He is at a hell of a crossroads and am sure this blog post would definitely speak to him in more ways than anyone else can. Biko, bless you a gazillion times, you’re God-sent. Totally sharing this with a friend in need

  169. Carol Koech says:

    That sums it all up!

  170. Tush nanto says:

    We are all that 28 yrs old chap,you touched all our fears & gave us an antidote at the same time,thanks Mr “forehead”

  171. Sandra says:

    Always a pleasure seeing how your mind works, Chocolate man.

  172. Samuel says:

    You speak to many(I included). Don’t stop running.

  173. Nduku Isaboke says:

    Simply awesome!

  174. Beata M. says:

    Good read biko. Very inspiring and encouraging

  175. Thea says:

    ‘Himselfo!’
    Alright Biko, now you’ve said it. We cant have you saying it again!

  176. Susan says:

    A lesson well taught.I started commenting by doing a citation of what touched me but realized I was rewriting this blog. My perception on age vis a vis achievements has not only changed but I am also wiser on matters life.life. Btw, I was also a OP die hard fan before I discovered you.

  177. Lilian says:

    Acute Subaru Syndrome. (ASS). It’s how Subaru guys behave on the road; they think if you overtake them that it’s an invite to race with them…So its a syndrome? Lol

  178. Carol says:

    I have enjoyed reading this article. Speaks to real people on real life. WWisdom there

  179. Michie says:

    Totally inspiring at any age! About your Kao friend, I hope the chic is totally into him and it’s not about the X5

  180. Shiroo says:

    Such a lovely read.” Just do you”

  181. Sintoh says:

    Awesome read chocolate man

  182. Emkich Manuel says:

    magnificent read ..thumbs up Biko

  183. LJ says:

    This and your mantalk piece, ‘lessons from a luggage carousel’ are a gem. Thanks Biko.

  184. Miss Kariuki says:

    Right on time. This 22 year old fresh graduate just got encouraged.
    Thankyou.

  185. Violet says:

    The last 8 paragraphs didn’t see my tooth. I felt like I was in a lecture room. Serious talk there.
    To Tony, zingatia!

  186. Moryn says:

    Clearly Therapeutic especially as I start making new year resolutions its good to remember its not a race, every stride at its pace

  187. Veryl Cheryl says:

    Very much inspiring! Life is what you make it for sure.

  188. sharon says:

    even the comments you see here….’hehe dont believe anything you see’ Biko said.

  189. Ms. Sunshine says:

    “Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.” This words are oozing wisdom of about 10 wahengas. Thank you for them, and just because someone might need it 🙂

  190. Ms. Sunshine says:

    “Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.” These words are oozing wisdom of about 10 wahengas. Thank you for them, and just because someone might need it 🙂

  191. Maya says:

    Awesome read, 2016 resolution,competition achia kemboi’s,they have murski for breakfast!you?

  192. Alvin says:

    Great read, wise advice and very timely. Kudos Biko!

  193. RAS says:

    A very factual piece about life to kick start the year, thank you Biko.

  194. Thanks Biko. Nice read. Yes. We are all winners. We are all winners.

  195. Steve Muchiry says:

    well done chief! was also dissapointed that i didn’t get to see the architecture in Prague before i was 25. But someday…

  196. Gloria says:

    Great piece.reading it much late but I just got to where the person who first read it is.

  197. Elvis says:

    The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.That one is just awesome
    The piece was just meant for many of us who are still wondering what happened to love, good girls etc etc

  198. Klaire says:

    Perfect! Absolutely perfect! Showing this to my loved ones. I needed this tumanenoz! Thank u Biko

  199. andy says:

    ” This city, my friend, is one big costume party where people show up wearing what they choose, not what they have. So pick yours, just don’t believe that that’s who you are.”……..very true Biko.

  200. Ombok S. says:

    “it’s okay to stop and walk in life”…this 28 year old represents many of us. Awesome Biko!

  201. Fidel says:

    Biko yawa…Nice piece!

  202. Wanjiru's daughter says:

    “The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.”……that right there is a challenge to us the female species.
    Great read baba Tamms, great article to kick-off 2016. Thanks for the inspiration

  203. Wendy Wakhusama says:

    Laughed my heart out while reading this article… but you are so right.. I will just do me! “It doesn’t matter who finished first or who finished last. We are all winners!.

  204. Wangila says:

    Exactly what I needed. Thanks Biko.

  205. tesh says:

    great read i like the way your thoughts are all over and am in the same position as tony,approaching 30 very fast and wondering whether am doing everything right but……am running my own race

  206. Jane C says:

    A lovely piece. By the way to me you are a better writer than Pala. He always had a way of putting women down. So am glaaaaaad you replaced him. Your writing is balanced. So may you live to write millions of columns….and the book we have been waiting for for ever!

    • ann says:

      Such a delightful read! Biko you are a great dad. You also show such empathy – that is a virtue don’t lose it.
      @ Jane C – I also thought OP had a way of demeaning women; he is like our Tanzanian neighours and their insulting Kiswahili. Biko’s one issue, and which I totally concur with, is the hideous weaves Kenyan women love.

  207. francis says:

    Himuselfu – Said with a palm wine tapper accent.

  208. Kui says:

    Millionare’s club at 3 AM….just in case Vee decides to pick up a fight with one of her frenemies and lives her at the parking lot stranded with no means of transport..No Ok Bye….

  209. Khimani says:

    Brilliant,Brilliant counsel Biko this one…
    There’s so much about life,but those lessons on running,brief but very very real.
    Keep writing Biko.

  210. KISH says:

    woah.woah.woah.great piece biko.Thank you

  211. Mr. Nduta says:

    Life is a rat race let’s not be contented with mediocrity,we have to keep up with the kemboi’s

  212. Benedict Kutu says:

    I had a lot of fun reading it. So true to most of our lives I wish I had read it 15 years ago when I thought girls will be finished! LOL

  213. G says:

    Great and thoughtful read . And quite,honestly, a life long arsenal of a counsel.

  214. Anne says:

    Best article to start off the year.

  215. Mwende says:

    I am not 28 but i think this was written for me too…….great advice! Taking notes….

  216. Njooro says:

    I can remember being at this point in my life. I learnt to live a day at a time. N run my own race. N it’s been satisfying and fulfilling.

  217. ruth says:

    Thank you for this!

  218. Irene Wambui Odhiambo says:

    Just do you!!!
    I am completely inspired!! Thanks Biko!!

  219. Wanjiku says:

    Very timely

  220. Nicholas says:

    Shiny and bright colours are what betrays us kaos. It is so that we announce our presence before we actually do 🙂
    Great piece.

  221. joe says:

    Very nice piece of literature.

  222. alice says:

    Good old Biko, thanks

  223. Muthoni says:

    Great piece!! Profound lessons!

  224. CheChe says:

    I can almost imagine how the Lady of the Manor will respond to this post. First it was the one on a random girl in a random cabin in a random secluded place, then this! Haha do you like friction? Is it your thing?

    “Girls will come…. And oh, there is no such thing as the right woman. Not really.” Happy wearing-down-of-the-couch Biko! LOL

  225. Anthony says:

    Great read!Good advise too!

  226. Mischnik says:

    Guess I will just drop that smiley

  227. clara says:

    Still laughing at the visitors from ‘eltoret’ hehe .

    This read is just DIVINE!

  228. Rosho says:

    Great read..Detox its a myth. Just keep check on ur nutrition n drink water

  229. KENYAN says:

    Given how many people you inspire, this was a great piece!

  230. Richard Kyaka says:

    Great piece with awesome life lessons.

  231. Felix Owira says:

    Exactly the kind of read i actually needed. You’re like a writing god biko.

  232. Peter says:

    “This city, my friend, is one big costume party where people show up wearing what they choose, not what they have. So pick yours, just don’t believe that that’s who you are…” No one could have put it better

  233. Felix says:

    An awesome piece. I wish many could read it

  234. casmir says:

    this is the second best post ave read since visa denied,ave always wanted to meet Biko because i have always wondered if Biko is funny in person the same way he writes, ill be turning 30 in the next two months and to be honest it scares me simply because i haven’t achieved much as i wanted and i must admit that this post has really encouraged me thank you biko

  235. Aida says:

    Thanks Biko. This is too good a piece and just in time!

  236. Faith says:

    I did the same thing….after the Jadudi story I went and found all your blogs and read them religiously. I was hooked . You help me put things in perspective. Once again this post has given me a clear picture of how not to live my life…..thanks Biko. You inspire me.

  237. Esther says:

    I am aching to say something clever and witty, and mind bending. But I think I shall stick with the unembelished truth. This post is like someone tickling my feet – I absolutely loved I giggling through the thing!! Thank you!!

  238. Ambrose says:

    I love the way you explain issues, Biko… You, You are the prince of words. Kudos- The takeover though… Crazy

  239. Nancy says:

    Thanks Biko, touching piece.

  240. hongo melissa says:

    very inspiring!!n it could not have come at a better time !

  241. Sirius Black says:

    …I tell you. He
    wore those shiny coats that when
    you stand in the sun reflects so
    hard it can start a bush fire….really biko??….hehe!great post man i’m one of those experiencing quarter life crisis so thanks man for the pep talk.

  242. Buzz Mulindi says:

    At 28 years myself, I found that I was the one doling out wads of advice. Until today when I realized that I needed to hear someone tell me the same thing. Thank you Biko!!

  243. clement says:

    And the year is just beginning.. I could go on an on reading . someone said up there we will do the same thing to the guy who replaces you as what Oyunga’s fans do to you. It’s z circle Biko. And venye i see it you like enjoying that.

  244. Mwendia Kelvin says:

    Great read, very informative.

  245. Ndinda says:

    1. I confess that it took me many years to read Mantalk again after OP left. But I appreciate the different styles you both use.
    2. Wonderful, wonderful post!

  246. Njeri says:

    ‘come here, help me out of this bra’ #idied! only you
    But on a serious note,I know this only too well. I recently bumped into some note I had written in highschool about what I want to accomplish by 28. i am very close to that age and the only thing I have accomplished is getting a degree. the rest, it’s a pitty. i also used to compare myself until i realized that life is about my journey so I stress less and focus more. great insights chocolate man. a good way to begin the year

  247. Delphin says:

    Truly inspiring.I needed to hear this.Thank you for being a sound voice for many “28” year olds at a crossroads.

  248. owa nawiri says:

    thank you Biko.. this is so timely

  249. Hilda says:

    I only hear of OP, whatever he wrote, got no idea. Keep on chocolate man

  250. Tony says:

    my name is tony, am 28 years old and am at a crossroads at this moment so thanks chocolate man kinda feels like I wrote you an email while drunk n couldn’t remember in the morning lool!

  251. Pheobe says:

    Beautiful read,so relevant and on point for starting the year.

  252. Neza says:

    This inspired me and put things in perspective. Especially that those people always putting you down are also running – the only way they know/were taught to.

  253. Njeri says:

    This is a brilliant piece, and not just for the 28year old.Each person can relate to it so well whether on their 30s,40s..name it. It’s about running your own race that is life, at your pace while choosing the right people to run alongside.Biko,you can’t compare to OP… you’re in a league of your own and I think people are finally seeing that.

  254. Wangechi says:

    Just when I thought I had read the most important post then this comes along.
    This post makes me want to stop trying hard to be myself and just for once go in the costume of my dreams (probably not the intended message).

  255. S says:

    I’m just from watching Making a Murderer and I was wondering what would uplift my spirit… you sure did. Best read ever.

  256. Beth says:

    Eye opener it is. Thanks Biko

  257. Eva says:

    Thanks!! I really enjoyed this one.

  258. Fawzia says:

    I just love your writing…please write a novel already….yes…this is pressure for more. Thank you for sharing your art…for free…

  259. Onesmus Kipngetich says:

    Great piece as always, at least you mentioned my name there hehe but I am disgrace to that name, I only do 10 km during the anual stanchart marathon, and yes I usually finish the race. Thanks man.

  260. hellen says:

    the most inspiring post have read in a very long time…true comparing yourself to anyone is like insulting yourself

  261. Bitu says:

    Great advice cuts across all ages and karura makes for a good start of the weekend for sure.

  262. Lyn says:

    Ever read something and go like….so I was not on the wrong path after all(self doubt was creeping)…this was that read.Now I can continue the path doubt free.

  263. kioi says:

    This qualifies as motivation talk.Thanks Biko.I’ve always loved your style because you always elicit feelings.I have never believed you replaced Oyunga Pala you are you end of story.You were there at the right time.great read as always.

  264. shish says:

    Wow. That was amazing. I loved the encouragement in your blog. I don’t drink so the whisky thing is out but i’ll remember you in my prayers. #GodBless

  265. Mbula says:

    Spot on Biko for a 28yr old or any age. Just do you. Literary giant this one..keep it up

  266. ItsMarcel says:

    Quite an elaborate perspective … I have to also note that if this piece was to meant to coax me into plunging into a life full of uncertainties in readiness to embrace a mirage yet so inevitable, then i just swallow the hook line and sinker! In the Article so suave was the thinker…..

  267. blue says:

    the advice given in the article is timeless.

  268. Rhenadhis says:

    Last year i turned 30 and worked myself into a state of near depression because i felt i hadn’t achieved a quarter of what i wanted to achieve. I had to speak positivity into my life, just as you said about either speaking success or poison into your mind.

    I’m much better now,thanks to pep talks from maaaany friends,relatives and acquintaces.

    THANK you for this post,you have no idea how many people you have and will inspire by it.

    PS: climbing a mountain will teach you the same lessons, if not more, that running does.

  269. Wahenga says:

    “Worrying
    about girls is the most self defeating
    thought you can ever engage in. And oh,
    there is no such thing as the right woman.
    Not really. The “right woman” is a woman
    who makes peace with your weaknesses
    before you do.”

    So inspirational

  270. Patricia says:

    Amazing read,i am so glad i subscribed.By the way i am an Oyunga Pala fan,hi hi hi,we are HERE TOO,why not?you are the best there is!
    Much love from ATL.

  271. Tony says:

    This resonates with everyone. Especially me and my current crossroad. You should have that whiskey with ‘Tony’ .. your treat. He opened this tap.

  272. Kodi Barth says:

    “[…] I think about it while sitting in the loo at 3 in the morning.” Did you see what you let out there, bro? Biko SITS in the loo — and by “loo” he means to take a leak. Gals, now you know. There’re times some of us dudes SIT, too. Ha! Biko, tell them what else we must do in that position to ensure no jet of pee hits the floor. Tell, them, brother. Who’s going to say, nyef njef?

    • Waikuma steve says:

      Talk of someone who thinks differently from all other people.you read the post once?if so,u are really thorough

  273. Darl says:

    A masterpiece! My best read yet this year! Couldn’t have come at a better time. Tx mate

  274. John says:

    A great read and an even greater counsel to me. Well in Mr. Biko.

  275. Tony Sami says:

    On point kama nukta!! Every is running their own race. A fact that needs to be constantly drummed into my head. Thanks. Awesome piece!!!

  276. Earnest Hassan says:

    Social media is like a woman wearing a corset…haha wig war ended, corset war begins

  277. Anne says:

    This is real deep wisdom delivered in the unique Biko style. And it’s timeless. This is for keeps. Thank you Biko.

  278. Samuel Odera says:

    Daaamn Biko, you truly took up on Oyunga ‘s boots and really upped the ante! Your pun on words brings full imagery. On this article, you killed it

  279. Brian says:

    Not been able to go through all the comments, but has anyone found Jewel’s parents?

  280. christie says:

    ASS…wouldn’t have put it better.always a good read

  281. Nick says:

    So captivating…Encouraging life aspects

  282. Nyawira says:

    Very inspiring piece!!Thank you

  283. Milly says:

    Thank you Biko. Lovely piece.

  284. Rutto says:

    Definitely we are not mentally the same, one of us has some problem and i wonder who it is?! but i belong to this other side of literary divide where we are many if the response is anything to go by! awesome work Biko

  285. TinaK says:

    *Bookmarks page to read whenever I find myself at crossroads, which I often do.
    *Also sends link to current mentor for discussion at next meeting.
    : )

  286. Redempta bisangwa says:

    Wow extremely encouraging, everything in this post is the TRUTH! Hahaha I have laughed so hard this morning .. Thank you for an awesome post , hope the 28year old is in a better shape after reading this .

  287. Ken says:

    The 25-year old guy probably thinks he isn’t cool enough, so he wants to be the last one out of a bar at 6am to show how “turnt up” he can get – This is so true. This was so Me at 25yrs.so stupid.
    Nice piece

  288. Annrose says:

    Thank you chocolate man. Great inspiring read.

  289. Ruth Zame says:

    “Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.”
    Great message to start the year with..thank you!!

  290. Lilo says:

    I think this is by far my favorite piece. Thank you.

  291. patrick says:

    Am 29,but facing the same dillema’s as your 28 yr old chap. What an ispiration to face the new year, great article.

  292. jeptoo says:

    Biko i would love to know you PB on that 10k run coz this kips and jeps from eltret need like 15mins to to finish that race…1hr 07 is not bad either,you are literally running your own race
    awesome read,cant get enough of your blogs

    • Mr. Nduta says:

      Ai Jeptoo yawa, 15 minutes is the average running time for 5Km,Most elite runners do 26 minutes for 10 Km.

      My personal best for 10Km is 45 Minutes though i stopped timing myself and checking the distance. I just run to enjoy myself

  293. ciru says:

    This is such an encouraging read Biko. Thankyou
    IOn, truly i need to resume running….

  294. samuel mwangi says:

    I love it. some sort of an inspiration

  295. Neno says:

    Indeed we are all winners

  296. byron timothy ouma says:

    wow biko as always you blow me away today you made put life into perspective. i will do me cheers

  297. Wa Karis says:

    You make running sound sooo attractive! Great read! Important reminder to “run my own race”

  298. @clif_the_tall says:

    I literally don’t know what my life will be without this blog! This piece right here has touched my inner soul! * Is there anything like that?* I will keep on doing me. Like a toddler i will crawl then make baby steps one at a time. With time i will be running like a RACIST’, call me Kipotieno then like an eagle, i WILL fly bloody high in the sky! * Iko nene!!*
    NB* Penguin face and Patrick and Ian storo has killed me lol! Am dead! Mimi kwisha!

  299. adewa says:

    ‘Don’t think of it in terms of kilometers, but in little milestones; that corner coming ahead, that little uphill stretch ahead, that big tree ahead. There is great joy in fulfilling the small targets.’
    Now this is how am going to tackle life from today henceforth by first breaking it down to small targets.
    Thank you so much Biko,am inspired.

  300. alcarazi says:

    For us 23 year olds and just out of campus its an inspiration reading this and keep up with our own run tho not knowing where it ends…

  301. Vic says:

    Thank You Biko

  302. Sandra C says:

    Jackson Biko aka chocolate man, you are an awesome writer. You keep me glued to the screen till the last paragraph. Thank you

  303. Joy says:

    Thank you Biko for this !!! very informative. We are all winners . Doing me this year !!!

  304. feli says:

    Good advice.
    Am 30 and single and tired of relationships (read men) for all those men I tell that
    and they still to get into my pants. I also feel stuck but from when I graduated there I have
    moved from earning 1K per week to much more.Most of my friends are married with kids. That song
    rudimentary free by Emeli Sande describes me . I have moments I feel down but most days LIFE IS
    GOOD. This world is not what my heart expected
    but am enjoying it.So Biko tell your young man to allow himself to just be in the present

  305. Njeri says:

    This is my favorite post so far.. Good work Biko

  306. Me says:

    Social Media… Ha!

  307. Me says:

    My take home:
    There is great joy in fulfilling the small targets.
    Great advice.

  308. Patrick says:

    Great piece….I would re-read this over and over and still feel a connection..!!

  309. Peter says:

    A very nice article.. we are all winers regardless who finished first or last

  310. Peter says:

    A very nice arcticle… we are all winners regardless who finished first or last.

  311. Mwikali says:

    Excellent writing and funny. Thank you.

  312. Frank says:

    Just like Trey says Smartphones don’t lie, I think Biko also don’t lie. I feel encouraged thanks bro. Thumbs up

  313. Njora Wa Njoro says:

    This is great work Biko..keep it up

  314. Fay kam says:

    To him who introduced me to your articles…thanks a bunch, always looking forward to your reads like waiting for next episodes of an interesting series.

  315. Franswa says:

    Superbly written, completely true… Biko you are a blessing! Keep on writing. Totally as enjoyable as it is encouraging to read this. We are all winners, we just have to be determined!

  316. Imelda says:

    This is pure wisdom.

  317. Yne says:

    Yes, that was a long post on Life. I like it!

  318. Esther K. says:

    I really needed this kind of read especially now that I’m at crossroads of sorts. Looks like we can never be ready for some life’s eventualities and no amount of planning will really prepare us for that one occurrence… But this one part has made me feel better today…

    Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.

  319. tina says:

    Aaaahh…very refreshing! And I just got schooled. For free. Thank you Biko

  320. ruby says:

    The good book states…..The race is not for the swift nor for the strong but for the one that endures!
    Pure wisdom on this post!

  321. Lyeez says:

    Good read for 2016….Biko Asanti. I needed to hear this….Do you; go at your own pace…all are winners at the end of the race

  322. Wangari Wainaina says:

    I have felt so informed! Thank you Bikozulu for the heads-up.

  323. Yvonne Munga says:

    So true…. Just doing me! Thanks Biko you are such a great inspiration

  324. Noni says:

    I finally get to read this. Great stuff Biko! Great!

  325. Risper says:

    My new personal best of your blogs. Aaah-mazing read suitable for everyone living this life. Asante sana Biko. Btwy IMO u’re a better writer than OP by far. That one used to demean women alot he was just nasty on matters women. I’m one of the many who do not miss his writing at all.

  326. Sarah says:

    Such a breathe of fresh air.I loved it

  327. John says:

    “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
    What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.
    From the desperate city you go into the desperate country,
    and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats.
    A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind.
    There is no play in them, for this comes after work.
    But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.”

    – Henry David Thoreau

  328. Sheilah says:

    What a way to start 2016. Insightful to the core. “This city is run by image and impressions ;smoke and mirrors”. The ‘right woman’ is the woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.

  329. kathy says:

    can’t believe am reading this a day too late. Read todays post that referenced this one..nway…
    great read about life. Rings true. “Tony” dnt beat yourself about it to add the cliché(its never that serious-I hate that statement btw.bt its true!).even Trump a billionaire is running for president and appears to have it all(I guess not).at no point in life will you ever say I’ve arrived.so live at your own pace as Biko advices.and those lying above abt how they will start jogging.wacheni uwongo..LOL

    P.S. Biko as an OP fan, I promise I shall not make comparisons btwn the two of you EVER ever again.hehehehe(not to your face at least).

  330. Rexx says:

    Wonderful piece Biko, just lovely…

  331. Sirius Black says:

    He lived across from my door at some point in the hostels. Zero game, I tell you. He wore those shiny coats that when you stand in the sun reflects so hard it can start a bush fire…really Biko?great pep talk though i’m one of those guys experiencing quarter life crisis.o

  332. Cheppy says:

    You made my day. Discovered your blog today, am glad I did. Very interesting and refreshing.

  333. Sir Kev says:

    What an inspiring way to get the year rolling! Keep writing son of the soil

  334. Wangari says:

    Just what the doctor ordered for the once in a year inspiration reading for 2016 – enjoyed the parallels with running – will definitely print out for my wall of fame, enjoyed every word

  335. Adebe says:

    Wonderful insights. Taking it at Godspeed

  336. Eve Kay says:

    Biko, I have to say this, perfect timing with this article for me. I’m 25 and feeling lost, quarter life crisis I call it. But I gotta keep running. Here’s to 2016.

  337. Wakimotho says:

    the “right woman”.she makes peace with gis weaknesses before he does…thanks a millifor saying that.Igot closure on some issue.
    “just do you”..this one too…i ain’t competing with anyone

  338. Joyce Kanze Nzovu says:

    Thank you! You just saved a few lives out here.
    Hope restored.

  339. Milan says:

    Awesome article. This is absolutely one of my best read from you Biko.

  340. Mike says:

    hahaha “Someone to stroke your beard maybe? (You sound like a beard guy, us beard guys know each other)”.
    this got me cracked up….true true true

  341. Nancy says:

    Oh my, Just what I needed to read this Wednesday afternoon. Thank you Biko! This piece will sure do me a lot of good 🙂

  342. Renee says:

    Always a good read 🙂

  343. Njeri says:

    it’s okay to stop and walk in life… Thanks Biko

  344. njagi says:

    Ha!The grey haired bearded ‘gentle’man will shall and copy paste this article at remoteroute.wordpress.com asap!Biko, has common sense ever been this uncommon? Let me first say a prayer for 28year olds..

  345. Georgina says:

    Thank you,I really needed this

  346. Evans says:

    The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.True indeed……am on the verge

  347. moreen says:

    you know after chocolate man, you can wear the lifesaver hat too. Thank you.

  348. Dedan says:

    I notice a lot of people running with lovely sports gear. You see some rich-looking 50’s Somali guy in the full Adidas merchandise. Or the latest Nike running shoes. Does it mean they are enjoying the run more than you? Does it mean they are more committed or consistent? Will they finish before you because they have top of the range gear? Maybe, but also maybe not. That’s life, so stop looking at what your pals are doing, driving, working, wearing, dating, it doesn’t mean anything at the end of it all. Just do you.

  349. “. He doesn’t even play golf, this cat. He has never played golf. Can’t swing for shit. But he keeps it there as a prop, as social capital. For the benefit of chicks. He figures a woman walks in there and sees this golf equipment and immediately wants to tear his clothes off because he’s so upwardly mobile. He figures the golf equipment would get her dizzy with lust. “Oh, Jamo, I didn’t know you play golf! How sexy! Come here, help me out of this bra.” (Eye roll).”

    This got me cackling as per kawa..but I loe the advice you give. “Just do you..”

  350. Jewels says:

    I did the Stanchart Marathon last year and I ran at a steady pace for 8 of the 10kms I signed up for. And then I just couldn’t do it any more. I couldn’t run an inch further so I opted to walk. I remember because I even took a pic of the 8km marking; it’s somewhere in my archives. I’m in the same age group as the guy that mailed you his grievances, and in the same boat too it seems. But that 8km mark has impacted me so hard I couldn’t thank you enough for this post. I shall reflect upon it.

  351. mbeki liz says:

    true as heaven

  352. Alexis says:

    Very well said Biko everyone has a race to run and each person should run his or her own race. It’s pathetic to compare because you will always come up short and feel like s… and the crossroads in life are real. I was talking to my friend today we were in the same class in high school her first daughter is a KCPE candidate, while I am still single. Imagine that, that’s when I realized I have my own race and there’s no need for me to compare myself with her. Thanks Biko for that piece.

  353. Wairiuko N. Wairiuko says:

    It has been a while since I (re)read your articles. Let me start reading the comments now.

  354. Nene says:

    I love how raw you are.My hubby read your article out loud{I’ve forgotten the title}about a fortnight ago which was about your son &having watched your wife go through the whole ordeal,& it was so real & true & hilariously raw like you didn’t mince your words.& we just laughed through the whole article.I just got my baby girl on 24th December & before the whole experience I had asked a million questions, done my research, watched all labour & delivery YouTube videos but well,they all lied & made it seem so effortless.well,nothing prepared me for what I encountered. The 16hrs of labour,tthe delivery,It was like something out of a movie & I couldn’t wait to tell my girls the reality of things.But my hubby was with me from labour to delivery & seeing all that isn’t for the faint hearted. I salute him & men like you who are brave enough to watch it all,stand by your women, & still be madly in love with her after.I also salute you for keeping it 100% in that article & on this article as well and well,I’ve been an Oyunga Pala fan since I was
    13,but truth be told,he needs to learn to be raw.You are really good at what you do.{oh & that Jonathan article. Epic.Even linda,his colleague & longtime pal wouldn’t describe him to detail like that.

  355. Nduku Muthui says:

    Awesome piece! I loved the piece on running at karura forest ” imagine competing with somebody from eltoret! Each at their own pace….

  356. Hilda Kinya says:

    Long? Nah. Write us a book Biko? Ur way with words is just brilliant. Keep it up!

  357. Judy says:

    Amazing article Biko! Life lessons for sure….

  358. Eric Ndavi says:

    Brilliant and inspiring. I think it’s your best piece ever. Don’t ever stop or I’ll quit the internet. Write n’ Rock on, Bro!

  359. Mutindi says:

    #Bikowisdom lovely piece. Brought a big smile to my face.

  360. jadudi says:

    i dont set goals and timelines that i want to achieve them. i dont try to live like the Mwangis and Otienos no more. I dont fancy trends these times, and you know what? I am happier. I realised that the main goal in life i to love and to happy. Being with happy people and giving joy to without. nice read

  361. June says:

    Then I added a smiley to show that I’m friendly and I love trees and I believe in free and fair trade. Always add a smiley, you just never know what lonely heart it might warm.

    Big up Biko Zulu. This was really, really cool!

  362. caroline mueni says:

    nice piece

  363. Oduor Were says:

    Dude all l can say you not just a writer and blogger, you are on different level. Yourselfo..hehehe

  364. Jennyjyn says:

    Encouraging read.

  365. mugo says:

    Reading this over and over..my life in summary.

  366. mark j says:

    oh, so this crossroads thing is global! am better now though you warned us of taking people’s advices

  367. Collo says:

    Best content I’ve read this year and last year

  368. Carol says:

    He he he stretch mark under the arm
    pit. I enjoyed it to the bone marrow.

  369. Marina says:

    happy belated birthday Tamms….@biko, awesome wit, everything made sense, the point is home safely and will hopefully solve some mess here. big thanks for saying it aloud.

  370. Mukami says:

    Biko you have set the bar high for 2016! This is a masterpiece! Anything you write and all the guest writers will have to top this one!! And that’s why the gang keeps coming back…..

  371. Genson says:

    never disappoints….

  372. Tracy says:

    Biko you have summarized an entire motivation book that would’ve taken ages to read.
    http://tracygesare.com/

  373. Thank you biko, this was an awesome post though 28 seems far for me. Can’t wait for your next post

  374. Wakini says:

    Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! Also, find time and have that whiskey with this ‘Tony’ guy, won’t you?

  375. Moraa says:

    I am 25 – just got into quarter life crisis -it’s real. I think Tony is experiencing the same . Being in a country far away from home doesn’t make it any easier but I suppose it’s my ‘race’. Be away from everyone and figure out who I am.

    Maybe I will make a list, maybe….

  376. Emma Terry says:

    I’ve read this like thrice now. I loove this n many
    other pieces from you.
    Puts me back on track.
    You’re my hero Biko!

  377. yoni says:

    masterpiece.. very inspirational ..and you still made me laugh, the shiny coat that cld start a bush fire!! lol.. and guys from Eltoret.. made my night!!

  378. Collet says:

    am inspired. what a beautiful piece!

  379. tabby says:

    lovely biko! So relevant even for the not so 28 like me 🙂
    That kao shiny thingy though…lol

  380. Biko you have no idea how many people needed this!!! Nyasaye Ogwedhi Jathurwa… All of us going through this mid life crisis at this age of 25 have picked a lesson or two from this Im sure.

    reminds me of some quote I read some time back and it always rings in my head.. “It does not matter if others have wings to fly there, I will walk and I will still get there”

    To the gang…. Lets keep going, as long as we keep surviving we keep living and if it doesnt kill us then it definately makes us stronger.

  381. douglas says:

    great piece.quite refreshing

  382. Wanjiru says:

    Reading this so early into the year is such a timely reminder for me to run at my own pace. Thank you for using your writing to inspire so many of us. You’d be surprised that quite a number of OP’s fans are now part of the gang. Like Tony, I was a huge mantalk fan till he left and I stopped reading. Then my sister sent me a link to “Now let’s bury a Kikuyu” and I was hooked!I’ve read most of what you have written including Msafiri and True Love. You’ve outgrown those shoes!

  383. Ivan says:

    This has got to be the most powerful thing I’ve read this year. Alright, that’s not a fair assessment, what with the year in its infancy, but nonetheless, the impact of this has got me thinking.
    Let’s do Whiskey when you’re on this side of town.

  384. leon says:

    Death is just an eventuality, but at conception each journey in life has a different set destination. So do your thing people because absolutely no one is going where you are going.
    Fantastic article as always, am a closet writer myself no balls to come out as it were, I presume someone will uncover my manuscripts 1700years from now and I will become what I could have been 🙂 but thats my race

  385. Kevin Nyaga says:

    It’s ok to stop and walk then run ,life is a journey some might be rushing to park ,others might be slowing to refuel.

  386. Engineer says:

    “…it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life…” That line is epic, if all of us knew how important it is to do this, life would be so awesome. Lessons. Thanks Biko.

  387. Leonard says:

    Nothing easy ever made impact, wise words. Amazing article, you never disappoint!

  388. Juls says:

    Lovely piece

  389. Mercy says:

    Biko siku moja nitafutwa kwasababu ya kucheka loudly kwa ofisi. Thank you for reminding me a lot of things and for giving a phrase for those ‘Subaru Drivers’

  390. Steve Wagacha says:

    Beautiful piece Biko…as always.

  391. mehboobah says:

    “I notice a lot of people running with lovely sports gear. You see some rich-looking 50’s Somali guy in the full Adidas merchandise. Or the latest Nike running shoes. Does it mean they are enjoying the run more than you? Does it mean they are more committed or consistent? Will they finish before you because they have top of the range gear? Maybe, but also maybe not. That’s life, so stop looking at what your pals are doing, driving, working, wearing, dating, it doesn’t mean anything at the end of it all. Just do you.”not sure if this is me, besides the age difference 🙂 Great piece, love the analogy about running and life. Hope we can do a 10 km together one of this Saturdays!

  392. Grace says:

    Thank you Biko, I really needed this..

  393. yakubu says:

    am 25 and am never a fun of reading blog articles,ad rather go through my IG….. but this Biko!!! this got me on a good spirit. I have already bookmarked your site. Very inspiring read. Thanks man…

  394. Matheri Kahiri says:

    Encouraging read. Awesome read as well.

  395. Matheri Kahiri says:

    Encouraging & Awesome read

  396. bosibori says:

    I love this one. I read it twice. Cried a bit the first time round. Second time I really read it and took it in. Thanks Biko!

  397. Vicente says:

    I had a plan…,get married, start a family, do that MSc and probably PhD by the time I was 30. That was ten years now, ago when I had just cleared my undergrad studies. I’m not close to any of that,..I’m not going to sweat it.It will happen when it happens. To quote Steve Jobs, ” You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.”

  398. Winnie says:

    Great piece Biko..Am not yet 28 but i have learnt a great deal.THANK YOU

  399. MM says:

    Wow!! This post is the kind of piece you frame and never delete, because it is good not only for our generation but for many to come… So many truths, inspiring, thought-provoking and funny too!!
    Wow indeed.
    P.S. Yoga mats because it is on Lol. I didn’t know. I do Yoga for the love of it, (hehe) but hey! 🙂 😀
    #goodstuff and great read.

  400. Arnold Nyaga says:

    A really re-energized piece.

  401. Sheex says:

    That thumbs up emoji. Great piece.

  402. Nduts says:

    I thought it was a long post( and I don’t really read long articles) …that was until I got to the end and thought to myself ‘why Biko, why did you end it so soon’… Like every other piece of yours I have read, I loved every sentence.’ I don’t go to a Karura to run because it’s a trend, this ain’t Larry’s show.’ I see what you did there btw… JUST GREAT, AMAZING. 🙂

  403. Daniel Wachirah Mwangi says:

    Nice piece

  404. Nderitu Wa Wanjiru says:

    Fantastic read!

  405. Gilbert says:

    You, without doubt, are the spin master of tales. Some deep and priceless stuff in this piece. Man! Can I borrow your forehead for a day?

  406. Mellany says:

    Acute Subaru Syndrome!!

  407. moffat says:

    38 and scribbling about life.. .mhhh!, must have grown a really big pair to go nibbling after that hook, as usual interesting.

  408. Kithia Kennedy says:

    Great

  409. Irene says:

    Great piece. Done reading it the third time.

  410. Munga says:

    thank you Biko, i’ll always add a smiley to show that i love trees and free trade, lol! but really that was a good read

  411. allegra kithure says:

    Awesome piece, this is a good way of starting a year when most people are still stuck on past mistakes which prevents us on moving forward

  412. Man, thanks for this one. It has helped me put alot in perspective. like always, Biko, AWESOME read.

  413. Butterscotch says:

    Very sober perspective…..this post has made me think of the saying that equality is not always justice (and that image of a child, teen and adult standing on boxes to symbolize either equality or justice)…..

  414. Anne says:

    Incase you happen to read this, kudos for the literacy skills.You have a way of painting with your words! Q; Are there charges to access karura for running?

  415. Rophus says:

    Okay, i am a great fan of Oyunga Pala at the same time your fan.i Feel Oyunga Pala VS Biko should never be a topic of discussion you all have different writing prowess.

  416. Wanjiku says:

    Thanks Biko.. I really needed this.

  417. Moenga Kepha says:

    Great master piece. Would love to re read again.

  418. Wairimu says:

    I can’t believe i am still here reading comments

  419. Ainy says:

    I really needed this ☺☺…. Thank you Biko

  420. Adala says:

    Word. Been at that walking phase and lingered a bit more at some crossroads. This is the lil’ nudge i needed to choose my road and continue running. Thanks

  421. THUSH says:

    Great piece but, some of these lines….?
    Do you come up them? If yes, fellow gang members…thats what is called wisdom, and its priceless.

    Thanks.

  422. Kagwiria says:

    Biko. Thankyou. I needed that.

  423. Shiro says:

    I needed this just turned thirty and I was panicking trying to figure out what wrong choices I made in my 20s…., I can breathe sigh…..

  424. Stevo says:

    Sassy word weaving, infused with wisdom for living, and matchless wit! You are a star, Biko.

  425. robert says:

    i will comment twice because i loved this post…..

  426. Brenda says:

    Nice piece.it’s so real…

  427. Faith says:

    This is great! Keep up the good work. You are so real, thank you

  428. Kangwato says:

    I’m glad this beleaguered 28-year old chap emailed you. He communicated what most of us, I included occasionally feel. You response? Phenomenal! Thank you for this piece.

  429. Fmumbo says:

    Very inspiring Biko – we are all winners!!

  430. Larry Shakur says:

    Thanks Biko for that and thank for introducing me to the Karura Sato plot. And Oh you forgot to mention that some people even run on the opposite direction as ours. It ain’t that they are lost. They have their own track. Such is life

  431. Duncab says:

    Hehe nice read here. Incase your google analytics show you a reader from West Africa. Thats my eyeballs rolling on your articles. I follow them and They capture me and take me to the slave island and through the corridor of no return. You need to visit this historical place.

  432. VIvian says:

    I really liked this piece. It was especially inspiring since my birthday is coming up in a few weeks and all those questions like “I’m i really achieving my dreams/goals” have started or rather always race through my mind. Thank you.

  433. Alex says:

    ‘Brillianto’! My Wife insisted I had to read this blog post for the last week, Best read thus far in 2016! Very Inspiring! Now I need to catch up with all those posts I missed during the December Holidays! Keep Going Biko! 🙂

  434. KAROLE says:

    Running – like life – teaches you to go at your own pace because you don’t know what those guys passing you had for breakfast. You don’t know if they are visiting from Eltoret. Hehe. You don’t know the capacity of their lungs. You don’t know if they are on drugs. Go at your own pace.
    hehehe..this got me Biko. Your advise is such a gem!!

    Biko you need to give us a show.Just to sit and talk.What say you the gang.
    Invite the gang!!

  435. Hope says:

    Read this as I was seated in a mat next to a woman who probably has it together cause she smells nice… 2015 was my rock bottom year i lost everything at 22 (huge laughter) i am over analytical but recently i just think what would a cow do? Chew away its cud cause all these stresses we add in life arent necessary we just choose to make them so…Foid for thought: most cows live better lives than we do and they get murdered for a living before they take the euro trip. I love nature. Okay let me stop before i stop making sense. Be happy people. Just be happy and chew cud. 🙂

  436. Soipei Chege says:

    Must confess Biko when you first came on I also was doubtful you would be up to the task (OP fan here). But I agree with you life is like running at the end of the day as long as you get to the finish it doesn’t matter who came first or how much time you took.

  437. Patience Ntale says:

    Impeccably Written

  438. Matu says:

    Lovely piece

  439. In the thicket, a soldier dies
    By Emmanuel Taracha

    In the copse
    Lie many corpses
    Too many dead soldiers
    The enemy killed them like walkers.

    Like a knight
    He came in the dead of the night
    The lifeless bodies smolder
    A bullet is lodged in his shoulder.

    He lies in the fescue
    Who will come to his rescue?
    From this miscue
    He remembers the last barbecue.

    The smile of his daughter
    Happy family filled the air with laughter
    His people he so much misses
    The children and the missus.

    His mind wanders
    And he wonders
    Who will take care of his family?
    And give his children a homily.

    Today is his wedding anniversary
    But he is held captive by the adversary
    Is the war necessary?
    He prays the rosary.

    In this land far away
    If his life be taken away
    Will the angels carry him away?
    And God wash his sins away

    He feels like a sawyer
    He whispers a prayer
    He is no destroyer
    His work pleases his employer.

    He has survived many enemy clashes
    The National flag comes in flashes
    Black, White-edged Red, and Green
    Two crossed White spears, behind a Red, White, and Black shield

    He needs that shield
    But what will the war yield
    He knows they will not yield
    And flee from the battlefield

    He longs for an armory
    Full of artillery
    To revenge his fallen infantry
    With shots so fiery

    All this atrocity
    Who is in authority?
    He fights for the majority
    Surrender is no priority
    To his head thoughts flood
    To the last drop of his blood
    He will fight for his country
    As his fight will help annihilate the adversary

    Commander said not yet time to get out
    Today he lies in the bush bleeding out
    He remembers the day of the pass out
    His patriotism, the enemy bullet will not knock out

    He is exhausted
    His strength has been tested
    He hopes he will be appreciated
    And the enemy annihilated

    His body slowly gives up
    As he tries to look up
    Hi eyes feel heavy

    The world begins to disappear
    Under his closing lids he cant see clear
    Suddenly everything looks unfocused

    And then its black

    http://www.heremyinkdrops.wordpress.com

  440. Eric Gicho says:

    i feel better about myself already..great piece my man

  441. Agena says:

    This blog post has spoken to thousands of many young people represented by ‘Tony’. You truly are a gifted and very mature writer.

  442. Kevin says:

    My wife has been sending me this links, begging me to read them and give thme a chance. I flat out refuse.
    Today she made me mad so I read this one. I must say, very good read. If they are all like this;- i am hooked. Keep it up Biko.

  443. Joy says:

    Himselfo eh! Haha, I shall be using that too if you don’t mind 🙂

  444. Eric says:

    Biko. Always an amazing read! I’ll continue running albeit slower than the rest, but i’ll finish.

  445. Nimu says:

    “Whoa Kipngetich, easy!” Hahahaha that line had me laughing like a crazy person. Brilliant article Biko, and so appropriate for me at the moment. Asante!

  446. ray says:

    This is great, i will challenge you someday very soon.

  447. SCHEGE says:

    Not really. The “right woman” is a woman who makes peace with your weaknesses before you do.I like that Biko.

  448. Schege says:

    Just as it is in running, it’s okay to stop and walk in life. Allows you to gather yourself, to recover, because sometimes you burn out in life, lose a job, get divorced, lose a special someone, and it slows you down, but then you don’t give up, you start running again. And you finish.
    This is really inspiring Biko. We lost our dear son last year November, and nothing feels the same anymore. I feel like a broken compass…I can’t seem to think beyond him, and it breaks me to see my wife crying for him nearly everyday.

  449. Waikuma steve says:

    Talk of someone who thinks differently from all other people.you read the post once?if so,u are really thorough

  450. Tosh says:

    Its worth reading..!!

  451. Eugene Okumu says:

    Was 20 comments in then I remembered why I read to the end. Great piece. Our meeting though Biko

  452. Aoife says:

    Amazing what we think up while we are in the john a 3 in the morning you had me laughing hard at that part. You probably already know this but good job.

  453. Mukuhi says:

    Brilliant article….the scattered pearls of wisdom…clearly part of your brain belongs to an 80-something year old mzee….(and that’s not euphemism for saying u sound senile! 🙂 keep up the great work…

  454. Tevin Mwaura Migwi says:

    Wonderful advice, I’ve found the post to be helpful. I aspire to be as good a writer as you. Maybe even better than you. One day!

  455. Kagure says:

    the kind of piece i read over and over

  456. Charlotte Nalumansi says:

    Good writing. I see real influence from J. D Salinger 🙂

  457. Dennis says:

    Amazing read. “Always add a smiley, you just never know what lonely heart it might warm.” Quote of the year.

  458. Kim says:

    This is magical, your writting is just on another level. Am a fan of OP but i swear i love you more. I laughed out loud more than 5 occassions and teared up too. Every paragraph, every word is just so true, you speak like a thousand wise people and you see things from a Whole different perspective.

  459. Ciku Mwangi says:

    Bikozulu, where have I been all this time? Just discovered your blog courtesy of Caroline Mutoko’s constant reposting and whoa, am sleep deprived reading all the posts. I like the self deprecating humour in your posts and the universal themes that strike a chord everytime. Back to the post above, we humans are so flawed even when your 5 year plan goes to plan or better, you are still filled with doubt of the missed opportunities. And don’t even get me started on social media , that pressure cooker will let off steam to mass depression. We know better but still succumb to the fakery. Such is life.
    PS- You are now ( your blog) my breastfeeding buddy at 3 am in the morning, you keep me up.( too much information?)

  460. sento says:

    Thanks for that post Biko, totally lifted my spirit and view about life.

  461. sento says:

    Thanks for that post Biko,totally changed my view of life and lifted my spirit.

  462. Lulu says:

    Another great post…loved it!!! I can relate…!

  463. Kevin Mwango says:

    Always inspirational reading your articles Biko.

  464. Brian says:

    I am going to say this once; connections, networking, social skills, schmoozing, etc. go further in determining your place in the world- more than even hard work or talent, sadly. Try being useful- rather than bossy, cool or corky – to the people around you, and you will be surprised where that will take you.
    If you think you are too good for your current job, you would not be working there. You would be having something better. The same applies to your school, friends, spouse, and everything else (about your life) that you feel is inadequate or sub-par. The world is never going to correct whatever mistakes you think it has made.
    Your taste in music, games, art, movies, food, politics, and fashion, does not make you better than the next dimwit. No, it does not, and it will never. Those choices are only for your own private entertainment. Christ! As if you are the first 25 year old to buy an expensive phone or a nice ride? Oh! You think Churchill and his group are idiots? Well, then start watching Wendy Williams or other recent movies – we already have Netflix in Kenya. Wait, how much money do you make in a month? Yeah, I thought so. Get over yourself for heaven’s sake.
    About relationships, just tread carefully. Stay the fuck away from him/her. Any moron could see that he/ she is fucking whack-a-doo. Just use your head. To the men, do not leave her for something new. Appreciate whatever you have. Because, boy, let me tell you, that “something new” is a total mess and is going to leave you and break your heart. Personally, I have not met any human who makes me not want to be single.
    You are not stuck, unless you let yourself. You can change that job, that person or that life. If you have the guts, you can change it. Also, exercise! Start now. It will only take an hour every day. Look at exercise as hygiene; like brushing your teeth or taking a shower. I would have given men a long lecture about ending masturbation, but that is a topic for another day.
    I am not done. I am just starting to feel better, Phewx!
    Personally, I take health with much seriousness, because health=wealth. My point: treat your body as a luxurious car. Strive to consume healthy meals and always attend social outings. Every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and try to smile.
    Take supplements such as vitamin D and Fish oil because they will help with your moods – ladies pay attention. Drink more water and sleep better. Use your extra energy creatively and try to eat good food. Pick up new hobbies that you think you can enjoy: swimming, running (like Biko), golf (*hides*), tennis, basketball, gym, music…..Blah! Blah! Blah! The list is long, but you get my point. Just get out there and do something that you LOVE. For me, swimming is the epitome of enjoyment. However, if everything had gone well- as per the grand plan, I would have saved money and visited my favorite locations: Kigali, Dar-es-salaam, Brazil, and most parts of Europe. Sadly, life does not head in your desired direction.
    I could rant and rant, but my point is that you need to do whatever your heart desires. You do not need a significant other for your life to be complete. Nevertheless, I recommend that you at least try to go out and talk to people, especially those you feel attracted to. It is better than sitting at home and discussing it with your friends. I can guarantee you will feel better.
    Personally, I feel unsafe around people that have ‘achieved’. It always reminds me of the mistakes I have made. Where I am vs Where I could be. I have learnt that I cannot stand tall by cutting others off; rather, I can only grow by helping others stand with me.
    Remember, life is not linear and there is no best life or right path. Adios.

  465. Hillary says:

    “Jewel.” [If she said Ian or Patrick, I would have had a heart attack and seizure combined and died!] …hehehe Biko thooooo!!

  466. Jose' says:

    Been re-reading this article on weekly basis since it was published.Thanks Biko for this.Wise counse.Am 27 and at the same crossroad.:-)

  467. Cynthia says:

    A friend forwarded this post to me. I feel better than I have in a long time. I really needed this. Thank God you decided to do a post rather than an email otherwise I would not have been sorted.

  468. Tony says:

    You sound just like my good friend Joe Black (You need to feature him more though) Haha. Great piece btw. Had it on bookmark and finally got a read just now.

  469. Mwaa Joseph says:

    Very interesting read indeed, this has definitely made me a solid fan of your work Biko

  470. Pasomi Mucha says:

    Super. I’m getting my sons, nephews, students to read this very real, reasonableness. Thanks Biko.

  471. Cynthia says:

    nice read, taking one step at a time
    thanks Biko…

  472. Shephy says:

    awesome n truly inspirational

  473. Jeffu says:

    This shit is good. It is the second time I am reading the post and surprisingly, I needed it the most. I now have the tools to cope with whatever life throws at me! Asante sana Biko

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Connect with us

Get it hot

Enter your email address to subscribe.

Ad