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Oh Kenchic, Where at Thou?

One day our kids will be teenagers and they will live in a world without lions. Because there will only be about five left. Five lions, two black rhinos and about 30 million baboons. You want baboons to get shot, but where is the fun in that? Apparently nobody wants to shoot baboons because they look like us. But lions? Oh, they’re fair game. You can shoot a lion twice, and as it staggers you can stalk it and shoot it again. Then when it’s felled and is breathing its last, you can put one more piece of lead into its skull just to be sure. Then you go out to lunch.

So yes, because it’s such fun to shoot and kill lions we will continue killing them until we are left with only five, and you will have to pay 3K to see them at the animal orphanage (if we don’t build another high-rise on that as well). But that’s not even the fun part. The fun part is that our kids won’t give two shits about going to see those lions or rhinos, they will be far more concerned with having racy hairstyles and amassing more virtual friends and being liked by strangers online. They will spend all their time online, finding face to face conversations strange and human interaction alien and so 2016. Lions will therefore not be something they will be dying to see, especially those five listless things that will spend the whole day inside a meshed perimeter getting ogled and photographed. They won’t even be lions – they will be shadows of lions, caged and lurking in that predatory aura.

You know what else our kids will never know? Kenchic. I don’t think we have eulogised Kenchic enough. We just moved on, man. We are always moving on. But some of us only knew Kenchic. When Kenchic started we didn’t know about yoga. We hadn’t started quoting Eat Pray Love. We ate. Carbs were cool. Doctors had not started scaring us with lifestyle diseases. Nobody was selling vegetable smoothies online. Or offline for that matter. Fitness apps were not a thing. Fitbits? Wharathose? We lived. We ate.

Kenchic particularly was the answer for anybody who went drinking and craved something meaty at 1am. It helped that there was no Alcoblow then, which meant that you could fearlessly drive to your Kenchic whilst envisioning the greasy offering you were about to devour. Talking of which, did I tell you that they caught up with me once, those Alcoblow guys? Right at that bypass between Riverside Drive and the Westlands Roundabout. 1am.

I’m driving along, five doubles in, happy as a lark, feeling rather invincible. When you are tipsy you never quite think bad things can happen to you. You feel like God loves you more than he loves everybody else. You feel like Jesus specifically died for you on that cross. You seek solace in the fact that you are a lost sheep and that God sent someone with a long staff and a robe to look for you and until they find you very little is going to happen to you. You wallow in this foolish delirium until you take a bend on that road and right there after that ka-bridge you see hazard signs, a police roadblock and cars pulled over on the side of the road and – chillingly -a police van. You sober up instantly with the thought – shit, 30K! You think quickly: should I switch off my headlights and stop and reverse the hell out of there? What if they think I’m a thug and they give chase and shoot at me because they don’t know I am just a lost sheep?

So I said, you know what, this is my day. God wanted it to happen this way. I can’t help it. So I drove towards the roadblock and I hoped and prayed that I didn’t have a tipsy face. I hoped they would wave me through. I told God, “God if you let these guys wave me through, I will not touch a tot of whisky for a whole week!” But then this cop raised his hand and I thought “Here we go, a night in the cooler…who should I call first?”

I pull over onto the shoulder of the road.

I was told that cops can tell you have been drinking when you can’t just shut up. The less you say the better. But there is always an urge to talk a lot when you have had a few. You always feel like the world is dying to hear your opinion. That your voice will reverse climate change. You want to tell the cop, “Officer, wewe ungefanya nini ungeona simba anatembea hapo Westlands, ikielekea hapo Oilibya? Eh? Simba mwenyewe, sio mbwa, simba, Officer? Risasi ama kuku? Sema Officer, risasi ama kuku?” Of course if you start talking shit like that he will know you are drunk because risasi ama kuku doesn’t even make sense to you.

So I rolled down the window and said in my calmest tone, “Habari, Officer?” He said, “Kila kitu iko sawa?” I nodded vigorously like a madman. He asked me to roll down my back window and he lit the backseat with a torch, looking, perhaps to see if I’m involved in human trafficking or something and I’m carrying a few Kisiis in the backseat. He then asked if I had been drinking and I shook my head and said I was from a long funeral meeting. Thankfully, he didn’t ask who died because I would have killed someone close to me right there and then. He said, “Pole” and waved me through. I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to climb out of the car and hug him and tell him that he is a good man and that God was seeing the good work he was doing to rid the roads of drunks, and that he would be rewarded handsomely once the man in a long staff finds him and he will never have to stand in the cold again sticking plastic into anyone’s mouth.

Anyway, Kenchic.

If you are over 30-years and you don’t live in Runda or Muthaiga, which I suspect you don’t if you haven’t stopped reading by now, you probably ate quite a bit at a Kenchic in the hey days. Kenchic was intimate. It was like going home. My two favourite Kenchics were the one in Hurlingham, at the petrol station and the Westlands one next to The Mall. I preferred the Westlands one because it was on my way home and after a night on the tiles it was only natural that you stop by there and satisfy the beast in you that craved meat. The trick was to eat there while it was still sizzling but also carry some home as a peace token because you were very late. Kenchic will never know how many female hearts it softened. Hehe. It’s so hard to scream at a tipsy man who has offered you chicken as a peace token -even if it is 4am and he has woken you up with his stumbling and cursing and sometimes singing.

There was a chap who served at the Kenchic Westlands, he was near the door, to your right as you entered. He hardly spoke. Always so sullen. He didn’t have any sunshine left in him. He used this pitch fork to spear your chicken and then proceeded to mutilate it with a sharp knife. My routine was to park, walk in and before paying tell him, “Kausha half kabisa alafu half ingine ni ya kubeba.” He would barely acknowledge me. Then I’d walk inside and pay through the cage: full chicken, one chips and two sachets of tomato sauce. You were handed a slip which you presented to another counter to get your chips and then your chicken from the sour guy. It came wrapped in a paper. You perched yourself precariously on the tall seats and spread open your kuku. I loved my chicken very dry and crispy and at 2am when you are tipsy, there is NOTHING that could match the taste of that chicken. I flooded my chips with vinegar, which they had in these plastic tubs. Then I ate.

At this time of the night there was never one sober patron in Kenchic. The place got jaywalkers from Electric Avenue, stumbling in with wide-eyed women in small clothes clinging onto their arms. The hubbub was upbeat. There was always some mad conversations going on down the long counter. Everybody was always so friendly, which made me wonder what would happen if they introduced alcohol in Parliament. Would they all hug each other and call each other brother and sister?

Couples would eat from the same paper wrapper. Men would eat fries from the same paper wrapper. There was never anyone eating salad. I hate when people order salad. I can’t particularly trust men who eat salads. It’s not like they look happy as they munch down their leaves, even though they might look trimmer. I don’t think life has gotten to a point where we need to eat salads. When we get to a point in life where we are eating and enjoying salads then I will know that maybe my time here is up.

You went to Kenchic because there was never a leaf of lettuce to be found. Or olives. Or cheese. Every table had something greasy and delicious and unhealthy and nobody looked sad or guilty eating it. Everybody had made peace with their choices in life.

The point of this post is an ode to someone I met at Kenchic. It was at Kenchic Westlands, shortly before 1am, mid 2012. I had parked right outside, right on the pavement because the watchman had told me it was OK. Plus I wasn’t going to be long. It was a cold grey night. Westlands was what Westlands has always been at that time; a city within a city but at the brink of decay. I ate my chicken and coming out what do I find, some cat had parked his automobile right behind mine, successfully curtailing my exit.

It was a white Subaru WRX with chrome rims. I was sure it belonged to some much younger chap on his first job, maybe in IT. I asked the watchman where the chap was and he said he wasn’t there when he was parking. “Ako tu hapa mahali,” he said and I figured, though he was a Subaru driver, he was smart enough to know he had blocked someone and he wouldn’t be a minute. So I waited. And waited. Then a bee started buzzing under my bonnet and the skin under my collar started getting hot and I started getting really pissed because he was getting me in more trouble at home for being even more late! Did you know that there is a huge difference, say getting home at 5:03am and getting home at 4:49am? When you go home at 5:03am you went home in morning. That’s what the charge sheet will read.

Anyway, after like 15 minutes, this guy ambles out with a chic.

And that’s how I met Chrispine Ndirangu. He was chubby back then. Hehe. He had cheeks you wanted to pinch. They came out of Kenchic laughing at something he had said or something the girl had said. She had on a blue dress and no bra. I know because her nipples had made two dangerous holes in her dress.

My meeting with Chrispine did not start on a good note, right there outside Kenchic. I was tipsy. He was tipsy. Working against me was that he had a woman on his arm, which meant he had more to prove. Good sense would have dictated that I let it slide but at that time of the night good sense already went to bed hours ago, so when I told him that he was completely insensitive for blocking me he asked that I ‘cool it’. I’m not making this up, I swear. “Cool it, boss.” That’s what he said. Like he was a member of Cool and the freakin’ Gang. Or a drummer for the Jackson Five. Cool it. Who says, “Cool it?”

I must have said that how can I cool it when my ass is out here freezing while he’s inside stuffing his face? We exchanged a few words that weren’t too strong but also weren’t too light. Like I said I was destined to lose this confrontation because he was with a woman, who all this while had slipped into the front seat and was watching us listlessly through the windscreen. She kept sticking her head out the window and calling Ndirangu by a pet name I can’t remember now (and he won’t tell me because of a reason you will find out in a bit) telling him that to “achana” with me, that they ought to get going.

And here is what changed that mood. When the chick said “aah, [insert nickname here] let’s go” I told him. “Listen to her, if she asks one more time you won’t get laid tonight.” The mood shifted right there. He laughed and said, “Oh I definitely am getting laid tonight…” Then he said he was sorry and gave me this hands-around-someone-hug. [I swear I didn’t hold him]. Then we spoke for a bit and I don’t know how we exchanged numbers but we did. Months passed, like six months and one day he SMSs and says, “I haven’t seen you at Kenchic again” and just like that we became pals. We met for drinks once in a while until he relocated to Moshi, TZ for work.

I sent him a message the other day, telling him that I was writing about Kenchic and I was going to mention how we met. He asked me not to write that he was with a chic that night. I asked why? He said because he is getting married in a few months. *rolls eyes*

“Oh, I get it. You gave her the impression that you have been a very centered chap, huh?” I asked. “You probably told her you have have always been a long-term relationship kind of guy?”

“Haha. No. It’s just that she will read it and it might upset her, you know how chicks are? She might ask me many questions about that girl. In fact, I might be asked about that girl for ten years!”

“Haha. True. By the way, what happened to her? I remember her blue dress.”

“Haha. It was nothing, guy. You even remember what she was wearing?”

“Well, it’s not the only thing I remember, but yeah.” (He didn’t get that joke. Sigh.)

Eventually I convinced him that my writing about that night and that girl is part of the story and that it is completely harmless because really, he was 29-years old and had a 29-year old lifestyle. Besides she hadn’t met his fiancé by then and when he did he turned him into a different man. [Grin].

He made me promise that I wouldn’t “scandalize” him in this post, make him look like a drunk who roamed the night with women. “Bra-less women, you forgot that part,” I told him.

So Ndirangu is what I leave Kenchic with apart from many small moments with their chicken. Like I said, I don’t think we have eulogized Kenchic enough and it’s amazing how fast we move on and let go. I bet by end of the week nobody will be talking about Chase Bank either – it might be sooner if a politician happens to be pontificating whilst a podium crashes around him.

What was your Kenchic and what is your Kenchic moment? I’m curious.

Ps. To Ndirangu and Esther, I wish you well in your union. Esther, we haven’t met yet, but I will tell you this much: only chicken could make that guy happy. Then you came along.

189 Responses
  • JK
    12.04.2016

    Reporting on reading duty 🙂




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    • JK
      12.04.2016

      I remember back in the days in Eld when Kenchic first popped up. Cash was so hard to come by then. I lived in Kapsoya and on the days we went out we had to forgo transport to save up for a good portion of the chicken later on after our drinking spree. those days i remember them with nostalgia, the good old days.




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      • Kendi
        13.04.2016

        Oh, Kapsoya is my hood.

        Things one can do for a piece of good chicken




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        • Ken T
          14.04.2016

          Kapsoya is my hood too. Kpna ndogo. Siku hizi wameweka lami…




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      • Chelagat
        21.04.2016

        The first Kenchic was the one at Places, right?




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        • Rop
          04.05.2016

          Yup.Then came Queenchick.




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  • john
    12.04.2016

    good article..first one




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  • muthoni
    12.04.2016

    “thumbs”




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  • MwanaaReginah
    12.04.2016

    Only chicken,,,,,,then you came along,,,a great line




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  • Georges
    12.04.2016

    “You always feel like the world is dying to hear your opinion. That your voice will reverse climate change” i




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    • Garland
      12.04.2016

      that’s always the case




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  • David Osawa
    12.04.2016

    Nostalgia right there!




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  • Fridah
    12.04.2016

    So now with the close of Kenchic outlets I think it is time to let go of the 10+ years grudge I’ve had with mum for not buying me chicken some day. My heart feels all light already, my body though is another story all together




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  • Fridah
    12.04.2016

    what would happen if they introduced alcohol in Parliament. Would they all hug each other and call each other brother and sister?lol




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  • Edd
    12.04.2016

    “I know because her nipples had made two dangerous holes in her dress” haha Biko




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  • Merci
    12.04.2016

    Amazing read! Hmmmm kenchic was a date then movies later. Biko my mind is off work after reading this post.




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  • Rhoda
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic…there was a way you could eat that chicken at Westlands; sober up and think you can start all over again. One day, we decided we could restart drinking afresh, after a 5AM breakfast at Kenchic. Needless to say, 11 AM found us on some balcony at electric avenue in some club i am having trouble remembering. Sam my company then, is now happily married now. With three tots to show for it. Damn!!




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    • General Zod
      12.04.2016

      Why the ‘damn’? Did you have plans for Sam?




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      • Esther
        18.04.2016

        Lol!




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      • Benn
        10.06.2016

        Haha… problem is this waaaaay too honest




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    • BOS
      12.04.2016

      Is a man allowed to say ‘woooishe’ there i did!If some is married, what about you?




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      • Alego
        03.05.2016

        lol




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  • abdullah omar
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic will never know how many hearts it softened!Kenchic RIP




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  • Nancy
    12.04.2016

    On lions, I was surprised to read online today that another lion had been spotted in Hardy, Karen this morning. What’s up with the animals? or do I say what’s up with humans?




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    • Chico
      26.04.2016

      THIS IS NOT BLOODY FB…Comment on the damn article not your friggin lions…arrgh.
      Just told myself to ‘Cool it’…forgive her Father.




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  • SteveChege
    12.04.2016

    What a good read! Cheers to Ndirangu and Esther…godspeed in your marriage.




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  • Mukami
    12.04.2016

    Well, I’m certainly not over thirty…yet but I’ve had enough Kenchic moments. My favorite was the Karen one because they made the best chips masala ever! Kwanza that with a quarter breast and a picana mango! Happiness for days I tell you. Nice piece Biko.




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    • BOS
      12.04.2016

      As a footnote to Biko’s articles,I skim through the comments! I stopped at the sight of your face and your AVI! Will stop and camp here for the day




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      • Martin O
        13.04.2016

        Ufisi itatu ua




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      • Dennis
        15.04.2016

        Even a bullet can get stuck here!




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    • Air Hostess
      13.04.2016

      I concur, the Kenchic Karen had the best masala chips that I ate up to 2011..I hope that Kenchic is still there




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    • kate
      13.04.2016

      I agree totally with you.the masala fries are tres yummy




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  • Monica
    12.04.2016

    Enjoyed the read very much.




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  • makobu
    12.04.2016

    There IS alcohol in parliament!! Do you imagine the behavior they exhibit is normal sober behavior. They are all totally inebriated.




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  • jabay
    12.04.2016

    hehehheheh….only chicken could make that guy happy. Then you came along. Every one has a Kenchic experience …. I remember mine at Kenchic Nanyuki , man i loved the gizzards,i used to squander my transport fare just to entice my taste buds with those gizzards….




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  • DENNIS MURIMI NJIRU
    12.04.2016

    The power of chicken…




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  • Douglas
    12.04.2016

    Laughed all the way to the end, like the cops encounter




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  • Gideon
    12.04.2016

    trully Kenchic has not been eulogised enough. (kenchick Ngong road)




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  • anitah
    12.04.2016

    NICE READ KAMA KAWA.
    TOO MANY PEOPLE HERE ALREADY.. SMH! LOL




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  • feli
    12.04.2016

    Great piece as usual.




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  • abdullah omar
    12.04.2016

    Delicious near sombrero a chick and kenchic on our way to halls of residence




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  • Lucyline
    12.04.2016

    Loved it!!




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  • Nafula
    12.04.2016

    The Sonford Kenchic will feature in my euology. Chips and a ka-quater chicken and an ice cold picana never tasted better than at wee hrs of the morning back then!




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    • Tambo Barbs
      13.04.2016

      Sonford ni ya Kenchic, didnt know that?




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    • Lissa
      13.04.2016

      Lol… Me too Sanford i would make up drama while going home just for whoever was with me aingie box ya Sanford… I miss all my drunk friends… 11yrs now sijui walienda wapi.




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  • Francis
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic moments in High School, we always had to pop in the nearest Kenchic when given stop-overs during those trips.




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  • suchislife222
    12.04.2016

    Ooooo Kenchic!!! where to even start… People should know that back then, as a teenage girl, It was perfectly Ok for your crush to ask you out and take you to kenchic… And yes, you would both dig in to your chips with toothpicks or your fingers… No folks there and no plates… Basically no cutlery… And for sure after that date you would feel so loved you would tell all your friends when you go back to school after April holidays…. I still think those very genuine kenchic dates were very romantic… 😀




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  • Lynder
    12.04.2016

    Chicken!!!




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  • Walter
    12.04.2016

    hahahaha…just made my last day in Nairobi before I relocate to Turkana..”Life happens and money just makes it happen more”. I remember way back in high school playing for Patch Machine, we would make a stopover at the Kenchic in Westlands where Mr. Maina (Games Teacher) will buy for us ‘fries’. The interesting bit is that we would enter Kenchic and within 10 minutes at the time of exit that place was empty; no chilli sauce, kachumbari, vinegar, salt..everything gone. So to teach us a lesson every time they will see the Patch “Pararira” they will clear their tables empty…lol, memories are made of these.




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  • Erickovic
    12.04.2016

    “risasi ama kuku?” hahaha




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  • roba
    12.04.2016

    shule zikifunguliwa ata kama haukutani na kenchic place you had to make sure uko na kuku na chipo za kenchic come what may




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  • bel
    12.04.2016

    Poor Ndirangu! its out there now; luckily you still got your 10years answer some questions!…take it away!




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  • Mutiga
    12.04.2016

    wanted to climb out of the car and hug him and tell him that he is a good man and that God was seeing the good work he was doing to rid the roads of drunks, and that he would be rewarded handsomely once the man in a long staff finds him and he will never have to stand in the cold again sticking plastic into anyone’s mouth.

    That just got me laughing out so loudly




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  • kim
    12.04.2016

    Will all the lunjes please speak up…




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  • Wesh - Peter Wesh
    12.04.2016

    The other day I was walking from work and I met this mlevi guy probably in his late thirties. So he was shouting “I am sexy and I know it”. I just kept wondering kwani did someone tell him he was not sexy? Why did he get the urge to let us all know? Or was he….you know? PS. He was not sexy. Now Biko when we start talking about chicken we will have to do it as a delegation to the directors of Kenchic. We have to let them know we’re hurt. That we are not okay. We need to even be dramatic kidogo and throw tantrums at them. Even say we we’ll all go back to shagz if they refuse to bring their chicken back. But seriously though chicken runs Nairobi. We all love chicken and chics 🙂 Me I like to see chicken as a tool. A tool to soften hearts with or to bribe missus with. Works always 




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    • Sintoh
      12.04.2016

      I look forward to reading your reply every Tuesday




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      • Wesh - Peter Wesh
        13.04.2016

        I appreciate the love Sintoh 🙂 I get five more of these and I am campaigning to be an MCA nauko “Karima Mutiume” 🙂




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    • Narano
      12.04.2016

      I love your replies




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    • kay
      13.04.2016

      you better not be saying this yet you are one of those people that frequent galitos and KFC and thus in a way contributed to the death of kuku mfalme.




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      • Wesh - Peter Wesh
        13.04.2016

        No Kay I dont do Galitos and the reason I eat KFC is because KFC is that ex you run to after you main walks out on you.




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  • Mel
    12.04.2016

    “You always feel like the world is dying to hear your opinion. That your voice will reverse climate change.”
    Climate Change….really!!




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  • Shakobo
    12.04.2016

    I pity the kisiis. They don’t read blogs and they haven’t joined instagram, who will be their voice? The cops encounter was funny…great piece




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    • Misati
      12.04.2016

      Biko anatuonea…we read blogs..mmh but on the Instagram part..i am joining 2018




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    • Davis
      12.04.2016

      @biko….what did we do to deserve this flogging every other tuesday? A kisii girl broke your heart sometime back?no?




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    • Kemunto
      13.04.2016

      Aki we truly and religiously read blogs but isorait “Biko is seeing on us”




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    • Yobesh
      13.04.2016

      Biko otonyarire. May his forehead elongate.




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    • maureen
      14.04.2016

      biko,am a kisii and the left ventricle of my heart jst broke kidogo,unatuonea…. nice read though




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  • byron timothy ouma
    12.04.2016

    Of course if you start talking shit like that he will know you are drunk because risasi ama kuku doesn’t even make sense to you.

    fare thee well kenchic
    biko you just made my week




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    • Wanjuhi
      15.04.2016

      Haha!! That was hella funny ‘Risasi ama Kuku?’




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  • Kevin
    12.04.2016

    Hehe nice one
    I’ve never been to any Kenchic though




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  • dyshaun
    12.04.2016

    I have an impression i will keep reading you even after moving to Muthaiga and Runda of the then, Hope you wont insult me for my loyalty or rather hope no one would have taken over and all we will be doing is moving on and forgetting about you. Good one Mr!




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  • Nancy
    12.04.2016

    Wow! I never eat salads either…who even buys them! let alone vegetable smoothies. My weight though is wanting




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    • Therese
      13.04.2016

      Thanks Nancy.. How do you go out and order a salad!

      Hehe my weight is also wanting




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  • Joseph
    12.04.2016

    Gosh…! i miss Kenchic




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  • Beth
    12.04.2016

    My sister making me buy kenchic masala chips specifically the one in Kimathi street when she was paged….lesigh




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  • Koech
    12.04.2016

    Never a boring moment here…. great piece, as usual!




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  • Jud.
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic total hurlingham, That was my all time fav.It was convenient to say the least.




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  • Lynn
    12.04.2016

    Hahaha nys n funny read. I loved the cop encounter, n the not so heavy bt not so light exchange of words




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  • Angel
    12.04.2016

    Lovely! My strangest Kenchick moment was discovering Kenchic Machakos sold tea as well. Tea! I went there a few times to confirm I’d not seen my own things!




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  • Joy
    12.04.2016

    So much nostalgia, I could almost imagine myself at that Westlands Kenchic. I always prayed to be taken there every Sunday after church 🙂




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    • Gitz
      13.04.2016

      Oh you’re a blogger too? Nice stories you got there miss. Salut!




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  • Mugo
    12.04.2016

    only chicken made that man happy then you came along.




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  • smooth
    12.04.2016

    Great writing , thanks for making my week. … “She had on a blue dress and no bra. I know because her nipples had made two dangerous holes in her dress ” .. you still notice these while tipsy ? The chicken I enjoyed most was that served at “Serena Ndogo” or those vibandas opposite Madison Insurance in upperhill .




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  • Val
    12.04.2016

    The chicken is always heavenly……especially after midnight




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  • TheBlackKennedy
    12.04.2016

    Ati they look like us…..




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  • Benard
    12.04.2016

    it might be sooner if a politician happens to be pontificating whilst a podium crashes around him.hehehehehehe.




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  • Ndinda
    12.04.2016

    Sonford Fish & Chips. Moi Avenue. Those fries, in the wrappers, and the chicken guy! Same story. A nice piece Biko! Keep us laughing. Your satire is on the spot.




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    • Wanjuhi
      15.04.2016

      Sonford is the truth!!!




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  • Mercy
    12.04.2016

    Talk/read of chicken and its lunch hour,men you made feel hungry double!!chicken for lunch it is….*wharathose*lol only biko can use such words smh
    Good read like always though




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  • Phanis Obwaya
    12.04.2016

    What is wrong with carrying kisiis in the backseat??




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  • Sandra
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic Kimathi street. Chips, kuku quarter with the heavenly kachumbari. OOOOh how i loved how the kachumbari went down well with the chicken n chips. Memories are made of this……




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  • Evans Ogeto
    12.04.2016

    Nice article Biko. Mine was crazy. Sunford though with some economics campus finalists on a Thu morning. I swear I got home at 7am and was at work at 8am.
    http://www.ogetoevans.com




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  • kitonyo
    12.04.2016

    For us Eastlands-bound staggerers, it was always the one neighbouring Karumaindo, just before boarding the mathree at Ambassadeur. The place was crawling with pick-pockets – they knew most customers at that time were invariably on the wrong side of sober?




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    • kazuri
      12.04.2016

      you must be describing Munyiri’s fish and chips?




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      • kitonyo
        15.04.2016

        That’s the one, got pocket-picked there twice!




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  • Miss bush
    12.04.2016

    You guy are so lucky? Remember that if you did not abstain from whisky for a week after that alcoblow saga , your punishment is on the way… You don promise God and fail… Hahaha. Nice read!




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  • Bobbie
    12.04.2016

    …Doctors had not started scaring us with lifestyle diseases. Nobody was selling vegetable smoothies online. Or offline for that matter. Fitness apps were not a thing. Fitbits? Wharathose? We lived. We ate….Oh the good old days!




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  • Eric
    12.04.2016

    Mine came recently. It was a Thursday night( or rather Friday morning)and had just come from K1. As we`re saying our goodbyes , one of my friends insists I ride with her in her ride. Being the gentleman I am, I never let her ask twice plus she said we`re going the same route so no need for a cab. Kufumba kufumbua, ghafla bin vu, we were parking at Kenchic Hurli for chips and chicken. It`s 0400hours,I have a meeting at the office at 0730hours and K1 is not famous for serving tea!!!
    but who was I to complain….
    *sigh* things we do for breasts…..




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    • Miss bush
      12.04.2016

      Mmmh.. I hope she had a blue dress and no bra!




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      • Eric
        12.04.2016

        I really wish !!! though I don`t think I would have made it for that meeting




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  • Tim Okonji
    12.04.2016

    My beloved Kenchic. I’m still in denial. Kwanza that Kenchic for hurlingham. Eish! It was a standard stopover.Though the chillie sauce always gave me the runs (still does), but it was worth it.And you can’t eat kenchic off a plate. It’s not the same. It has to be on that random karatasi. Where will the supplier of that karatasi supply to? Or the guy who supplies the jwala that they place the chicken on? Indeed, we haven’t eulogized Kenchic enough.




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    • Wanjuhi
      15.04.2016

      Ala kwani whats happening to Kenchic?? Whats the story??




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  • Mumbi
    12.04.2016

    If you are over 30-years and you don’t live in Runda or Muthaiga, which I suspect you don’t if you haven’t stopped reading by now,, ouch!! Bt sawa tu




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  • Nick26
    12.04.2016

    LooooL! Biko Kenchick was the it place in my campo days before i became a snob for KFc and Chicken Inn,backyard binging and drinking to a stupor was like a crown back in campus..Kenchick and the Smokie vendors saved our hungry jaws i admit,from Moi Avenue Mombasa after a crazy night in Bellavista to Westlands,i went down hard hehe!




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    • Livie
      12.04.2016

      I totally share that memory, it was Kenchic after Bellavista was a must.




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      • Livie
        12.04.2016

        Oops the typos my bad




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  • Gasheri Gichunge
    12.04.2016

    Awwwh to the last bit.




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  • Gathiomi Gikaru
    12.04.2016

    Brother, you forgot to mention their big tub of kachumbari…oh and late night KTN/CNN on some caged telly.




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  • Tim
    12.04.2016

    My beloved Kenchic. I’m still in denial. Kwanza that Kenchic for hurlingham. Eish! It was a standard stopover.Though the chillie sauce always gave me the runs (still does), but it was worth it.And you can’t eat kenchic off a plate. It’s not the same. It has to be on that random karatasi. Where will the supplier of that karatasi supply to? Or the guy who supplies the jwala that they place the chicken on? Indeed, we haven’t eulogized Kenchic enough.

    https://sonofachief.wordpress.com/




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  • Gamsley
    12.04.2016

    then you came along……………..salut




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  • Gkyms
    12.04.2016

    ohhh Kenchic Kimathi street after club hoping in town,those were the days.the KFC and Chicken inn of today. Nostalgia Nice one Biko for the memories.




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  • Tony Kirigha
    12.04.2016

    Biko, awesome read as always, after being waved through by the Officer, when was the next time you had a tot of whiskey?




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  • Patrick
    12.04.2016

    “Officer, wewe ungefanya nini ungeona simba anatembea hapo Westlands, ikielekea hapo Oilibya? Eh? Simba mwenyewe, sio mbwa, simba, Officer? Risasi ama kuku? Sema Officer, risasi ama kuku?” Too too funny. Point taken…STFU when you see ’em NTSA fellas haha. Nice piece as always.




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  • Mwangi Ichung'wa
    12.04.2016

    Where would one be taking Kisiis?




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  • MBISHAI
    12.04.2016

    ”though he was a Subaru driver, he was smart enough to know he had blocked someone and he wouldn’t be a minute.” Biko what are you insinuating about Subaru drivers?




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  • Bobbi
    12.04.2016

    Besides she hadn’t met his fiancé by then and when he did he turned him into a different man. [Grin].. I see what you did there.




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  • Muthoni
    12.04.2016

    My kenchic was definitely the one in Hurlingham at the petrol station….guys ate fries and chicken from there and collected morning after pills from the chemist next.
    Ati the nipples had two dangerous holes…. Hilarious!
    http://www.treatsonabudget.co.ke/




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  • James
    12.04.2016

    Wonderful read




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  • Joyce
    12.04.2016

    soooooo many Kenchic moments..its really sad!great piece biko




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  • lisa
    12.04.2016

    My fave Kenchic…University Way just next to Coop bank, and I didn’t go there for the chicken but for their humongous spicy samosas and some greasy something they had named lamb chops…sema heaven and squandered helb loan..!




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  • Atieno Oloo
    12.04.2016

    Day made with Biko as always.risasi ama kuku?




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  • Kashi
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic Kimathi street, that description of a tipsy guy waaah….aty You feel like Jesus died specifically for you….i swear my ribs are gone. Wonderful article




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  • hally nur
    12.04.2016

    Everytime i was going out of nairobi or coming back to the city,i had to pass by kenchic n take home the chicken n masala chips….hw i miss those ma days




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  • Misati
    12.04.2016

    Nice read as always..and of late umetuonea Kisiis..




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  • Kamora
    12.04.2016

    Night running adventure, maybe ?




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  • Wambugu
    12.04.2016

    hehe…. why would you bundle a few Kisiis in your car boot? why Kisiis?




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  • ItsMarcel
    12.04.2016

    Just as the son of God died for you, Kukus actually kicked the damn bucket only to end up at Kenchic for you! Poor animals…they actually deserve the indiscriminate onslaught if only to shove the crisp taste of white meat down our throughts.. Meanwhile we eulogize the demise of our lions as we domestic more kukus while looking forward to shoot them indiscriminately incase they grow horns and more feathers threatening to fly away!




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    • martomini
      15.04.2016

      What??




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  • Latifa
    12.04.2016

    My biggest concern when reading this, unti now actually, is that there are no alcoblow officers in this corner of the internet. Or better yet, if that particular one does come across this then another beautiful tuesday shall arise!




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  • Chrispines
    12.04.2016

    Rarely do I come a name that is almost mine. This just missed “S”.
    To Chrispine(s) Ndirangu wishing you the best in your nuptials!




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  • MK
    12.04.2016

    Todays piece, too good. I always look forward to this, there is something witty about to be dropped after every few lines. The cops escapade too funny.




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  • Nduta
    12.04.2016

    Nostlagic moment worked at kenchic for three years night shifts were the best and the walevis with their never ending complicated orders!!.




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  • Pablo
    12.04.2016

    During campus days… The best Kenchic was opposite Jevanjee gardens right at the corner! It never seemed to close like most things on that street including #ClubHollywood which was just around the corner. We used to walk down to town from campo for our #FridayFix. Nowadays the city centre is a place I only read about in newspapers But the chicken will leave long in the memory… RIP Kenchic!




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  • Kui
    12.04.2016

    Kenchic Westlands was the bomb. The greasy fries and chicken after a drinking spree ulalala




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  • kyengo
    12.04.2016

    from KICC’s necklace and now the shoulder of the road..Biko I see what you did there…admit it!




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  • Priscillah
    12.04.2016

    for us guys who clubbed in westlands like some ritual we always had a stop over at sonfords before going to sleep. happy days hmm




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  • Marits
    12.04.2016

    Seeee, we have moved on already!, Sad thing is unlike kenchic Chase has drowned with people’s source of livelihood…




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    • nava
      13.04.2016

      the place had employees who are now jobless




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    • Syombua
      14.04.2016

      sad, i wont say rip chase because i would mean that it also rest with peoples’ source of income and much more.




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  • Tina
    12.04.2016

    The Kenchic at Jeevanjee Gardens is like home to me. The greasy chips with chilli and vinegar! Aaauuuuwwiii!! And no I did not eat it while high and yes it softens the heart. And thighs and arms and tummy and you simply become fat! Kenchic is a love affair that needed not die.




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  • sylvie
    12.04.2016

    In high school, when closing day was about to fika, my deskmate would look at me and say, “I can’t wait to reach Nairobi and eat chips off that white paper” That’s how we knew we were home 😉




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  • m.m.vee
    12.04.2016

    This>>”it’s not like they look happy as they munch down their leaves” Ghaaaiii! who even says that?? Hilarious. I love salads though 🙂




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  • The_Muriithi
    12.04.2016

    Then there’s the Kenchic, right opposite Jevanjee Gardens. The old man who cuts up the chicken once gave me a story. It was the first Kenchic in Nairobi. Only patroned by the whites in the early 1950s. Africans were only welcome if they had donned a suit complete with a tie. Currently being ran by the 3rd generation of its original founders. It’s the only place where the chicken gets off the rusty aged grill ready to be devoured. They had to start “kausharing” their chicken so as to keep up with the competition.




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  • Ythera
    13.04.2016

    The last comment…aaaw! Sonford fries and kachumbari deserve an ode. Where did Picana Mango disappear to?




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  • Juliet
    13.04.2016

    Try Chicken Garden, Bruce House Groundfloor.Just 160 bob per piece… Go for the spicy chicken ,regular is for sissies! Thank me later.




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  • Abeddy
    13.04.2016

    nice piece.




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  • cheronoirene
    13.04.2016

    Good read as always. I am last to comment, yeah!




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  • James
    13.04.2016

    ‘Risasi ama kuku?’ 😀




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  • Moraa
    13.04.2016

    Kwani what is this you have against kisii people? Anyway…..
    Its actually sad that a true Kenyan brand has to close down because of new brands like KFC…….kenchic will be dearly missed!!!!!!

    Justasimplekenyangirl.wordpress.com




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  • Patrick
    13.04.2016

    you should have seen the look in my eyes when I noticed kenchic along ngong road hapo next to Debonairs was closed too. lol 🙂 *only chicken*




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  • Super Nyako
    13.04.2016

    Kenchic made me fall in love with audis.My partner at tht time-some interesting kisii guy always took me to chicken inn-the oillibya westie to get my fancy kuku then wed drive down kenchic for his fix cause it reminded him of his childhood.Ati satos after church-btw show me a kisii who is not SDA,their old man would cram all 7of them in a red audi to Kenchic.When he got older and broke even…he got himself a swanky Audi.I drove that car to the coast on one occassion and that is how I fell in love with the 4rings.So kenchic taught me that a woman needs 5 rings.A wedding band and one audi.Ps.I love how you normally meet ppl and make friendships in odd places…shows me another side of life 🙂




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  • Kerry
    13.04.2016

    Kenchic…mmmhh..
    Luckily there is still one at Kasarani
    Good read Biko




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  • Wanjiku
    13.04.2016

    Looks like everyone here came after bubbles and Topaz on Moi Avenue…that was the real deal




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  • derrick
    13.04.2016

    its only happens,but once,the memories ravishing behind us,like mice.




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  • peps
    13.04.2016

    My favorite Kenchic as a kid was opposite Jeevanjee Gardens. The ORIGINAL kenchic not the one that was there last. Their Chicken made us drive all the way from Kiambu and those chips..those chips! tasted like chicken. I think they fried the chips in the chicken oil! RIP KENCHIC.




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  • kate
    13.04.2016

    My MOST memorable Kenchic moment is going for chips and Kuku on the kenchic opposite Jevanjee gardens on Sundays after church. Dad would park the car right outside and give us money we go buy some takeaway.We would then go home and feast and have a nice afternoon nap. As the greasy kuku and that ka oily gravy melted into our bodies.no counting calories coz it was worth it.

    *** I love how men can instantly rise above some silly two minute squabble and become friends. I admire that quality in you.




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  • penina muchiri
    13.04.2016

    Nice read….Mimi nilikua wa Luthuli Avenue 🙂




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  • Sonia
    13.04.2016

    My Kenchic moment was every Sunday after Holy Mass at Basilica with my fam, my dad took us to the one that was opp Jeevanjee. We were always sooo excited!!! Nice times




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  • Mercy
    13.04.2016

    Kimathi Street was mine. Back then, campus days that was our to go to dinner date. So we’d walk to Kenchic and use our teeth to tear the tomato sauce sachets. And then drink an ice cold soda. 9:00pm, head to Sno-Cream at Kenya House, and have a strawberry sundae…in the night. Adios Kenchic!




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  • tom osanjo
    13.04.2016

    Of speed, cops, Kisiis and funerals. So this one morning am hurtling down Salgaa rushing for my aunty’s burial in Kisumu (after I had pitiad Kenchic in Nakuru of course). Then this cop stops me (he was Kisii). I put on the most woyie expression and tell him about how if my aunty is buried in my absence then she will haunt me forever. Thank God Kisiis believe the same tales and he waved me through. I felt like hugging him too. As usual great read Biko!




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  • Geff
    13.04.2016

    Your hatred for Kisii’s will consume you some day.Kenchick was a must stop over after numerous swallows from Bellevista.




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  • alice
    13.04.2016

    My kenchic (or not) was sonford and sons tom mboya street….
    I still do not understand why they let go of such a brand!




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  • Oyolla
    13.04.2016

    My kenchic moment was every sunday after church at Lighthouse church.. We would stop at the kenchic opposite juvanjee for some greasy chicken bfr heading to kileh. It was like a routine n mayne it made me go to church every sunday cz of the chicken after service.
    Nice read Biko n RIP KENCHIC




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  • Kimani
    13.04.2016

    Biko, great piece as always, but some sloppy writing towards the end: “Besides she hadn’t met his fiancé by then and when he did he turned him into a different man.” You’ve mixed up the he/she and for a moment I thought your pal started batting for the other team. Do the right thing and fix it.




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  • June Kongoro
    13.04.2016

    Ha ha i dont think life has reached a point where we need to eat salads




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  • The introvert
    14.04.2016

    Everyone goes kuku about kenchic. It’s that fantansy that makes your mouth water just thinking about the crispy salty thigh. Memories are made of chicken. I mean most guys katiad chics buy taking them to kenchic inns,not the chips funga kinda way but most were genuine.Good read as always




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  • Waithera Kamimi
    15.04.2016

    Here when the furore has died down. Sometimes looking in between the paragraphs incase I missed a laugh, tied up in knots with morbid humor Ati I’d have killed someone close to me. Alcohol talks.
    Then soggy kenchic fries filled in my hips and frame where my mum’s feats failed.




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  • ChuorMita
    15.04.2016

    The lions chased the chicken……




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  • Dee
    15.04.2016

    Biko what happened to Jack black




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  • Man Weider
    16.04.2016

    It was a white Subaru WRX with chrome rims. I was sure it belonged to some much younger chap on his first job, maybe in IT. tell us why IT and not finance or something different. Just curious




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  • Sheex
    17.04.2016

    You actually wrote ‘Wharathose?’ Sold out




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    • Shycco
      20.04.2016

      Hahahaha i cant getovr Wharathose




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    • Shycco
      20.04.2016

      Hahahaha i cant get over Wharathose




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  • Mr. Kabugi Maina
    19.04.2016

    you ought to seriously consider writing a book.




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  • TNgash
    19.04.2016

    ‘Did you know that there is a huge difference, say getting home at 5:03am and getting home at 4:49am? When you go home at 5:03am you went home in morning. That’s what the charge sheet will read.’ Hehehe so it’s not only me who this rule is applied to..lmao The Kenchic next to tacos had the best chicken breasts -greasy and juicy- top that up with all manner of scantily clad chick’s with breasts out and Kenchic Kimathi Street was the bachelor’s must-go eatery at those wee hours of the night




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  • Yahya
    19.04.2016

    Wow…Biko hizi comments hunimaliza




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  • JFTB
    20.04.2016

    Kenchic university way had crappy chips.The chicken was perfect.Chipos tasted like they had been fried together with fish.




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  • Lyshie
    21.04.2016

    Hahaaa biko i love how you write. Craving cravings….




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  • Loved the Kenchic from the chips places around Jeevanjee gardens those days..
    These days I see chicken roasted on grills then plunked into hot oil to sizzle further..how now?




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  • Eunice Mwende
    28.04.2016

    Biko, waaaa…ati God was seeing the good work he was doing to rid the roads of drunks, and that he would be rewarded handsomely once the man in a long staff finds him and he will never have to stand in the cold again sticking plastic into anyone’s mouth.

    Very good read.




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  • Alego
    03.05.2016

    I loved my Kenchic chicken too, favourite spot was around Kenya Cinema, then came Luthuli, then came Red robbin, then Mac fries…….and now, we watching our weight so we don’t know what came after Mac Fries! Good read as always!!




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  • Alfred Kalwe
    04.05.2016

    But there is always an urge to talk a lot when you have had a few . You always feel like the world is dying to hear your opinin . That your voice will reverse climate change…. hilarios and true
    Keep the progress man




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  • njoroge
    07.05.2016

    Kenchic memories. My wife still remembers about Kenchic opposite Barclays market street. Its was still safe to stroll around either from nrb university hostels or a drunken nite in Nrb streets. Catch chips and chicken and stroll bac to the university hostels. I bought her soo much chicken she stills remembers todate. In fact during our bad days. I still remind her. Don’t you remember me spending all my pocket money at that Kenchic place. Now engineers and all. Memories.




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  • mkhana
    08.05.2016

    We used to come back as Summer Bunnies. Times had changed. Zig Zag Zog had unceremoniously closed. Carni was not what it used to be. We henged in cabs and not via matatus like back when we were in our under-30 days when we would get to Carni (by mat) at around 8:30, mill around the parking lot and then go in after 9 so we wouldn’t be too early. Those were the days. Well, we summer-bunnied and the only constant that remained was that 2 – 3 – 4 am trip to Kenchic. The one in Hurlingham. The one with the unofficial after party where fellow walevis gleefully ordered their chicken…stuffed their faces and put some in a take-away to indulge in when the sun rose. My friends ALWAYS got sick in the morning because, well…they blamed the chicken. We shall always have Kenchic.




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  • Django
    01.07.2016

    Hehe. Just read this, hilarious!B
    But hold on a minute, what do you mean, “though he was a Subaru driver”?
    hehe




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  • Seleon Koin
    13.09.2016

    Haha! That was hilarious… He wanted to hug the cop and tell him how much he would be blessed.
    This got me craving Sunford’s fries




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  • Emmy
    08.02.2017

    Nice piece Biko……..”being Kuku about the Chicken”




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