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Perspectives From the Shampoo Sink

Two weeks ago I sat with this person and they told me something very dark and beautiful about their lives. We agreed I’d write about it. And I wrote about it. On Sunday I told them I had finished writing it and it was running today. They freaked out. They said “I can’t do it anymore, Biko.”

I asked, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I can share that part of me with people. Please don’t run it.”

“Come on, it’s  already written. Plus I have nothing else scheduled for Tuesday!”

“For you this is about a deadline, for me it’s my life. ”

“How about then I send it to you first, read it and if you still feel the same I will can it, fair?”

“Sawa, send.”

So I sent it. (They are the only people left who still use Yahoo). Then I waited by Whatsapp, biting my nails. After 20mins she came online.

“Read  it twice.” She said.

“And?”

“I still can’t do it.”

“F**k. I hate you.”

“I hate you too.” She said.

I sat there and sulked for a bit. Then I started writing Mantalk. In the middle of it I remembered this dream I once had about Carol Odero’s uhm, enigmatic hair. This was way back in 2009 when we used to work for the same employer. In the dream Carol’s hair was in flames and was chasing me. It wanted us to die together. Carol stood by the side, watching this spectacle and laughing hysterically.

So I went on Whatsapp and said, “Hey CO?”

“Hey.” She said.

“How is your health?”

“Uhm, I have a pain in my pelvic, thanks for asking. How is yours?”

“I’m in mint condition. Say, can you write for me  something about your hair?”

“My hair? What about my hair?”

“Anything. Blank cheque.”

“For your blog?”

“Yes.”

“How many words?”

“2,000?”

“That’s TWO of my Sunday columns!”

“Ja! By the way, Carol. I saw a picture of Ian Mbugua dressed like a cross-dresser on that fashion show of yours. Why would you guys let him do that?”

She went offline.

Anyway, she wrote something to replace what I had initially written. Bless you.

Also. About Ken, the guy from last week’s post? Tons and tons of overpowering emails from people who want to help. He’s applying for HELB as we speak and chaps from HELB promised to look into it once the application is in. I’m sure he will be just fine. BATA Shoes reached out too and said, “ We want to give this guy shoes.” I asked how many? “As many shoes as he wants.” So there, there is one signature remaining at Bata then Ken will get all the shoes he wants.

Many more of you asked if they can send him money or if they can help in any way. This was not a fundraiser, but you can reach him directly on olwanaken@gmail.com

Should you need to talk to him directly (yes, because as someone mention this could be my fictitious creation to beat up emotions or even fleece the public of money) please email me on bikozulu@gmail.com and I will share his phone number privately. Otherwise, it’s touching to see how many of you just want to help others. Viva humanity.

Lastly. OK. There is no lastly.

Gang, Carol Odero and her hair. Carol, Gang.

Gentlemen, this week you might want to read something else, because this piece will fly over your scalp.

***

 

By Carol Odero (and her hair, Carol Odero Snr)

I have a confession. I make voodoo dolls of all the people on social media who troll my hair. If you got a sudden sharp pain on the insole of your left foot, yeah. That was me and my Shaman. Now, let us begin.

Salons; those sweet-smelling, scented, compact, for some reason never really airy enough compartments of female glory. I spend hours there. My personal best is 8 hours straight. The lovely Dee at Amadiva Beauty Salon, Riverside, once set aside my imaginary bed. That’s longer than a bus ride to shags. Salons are where the creation of my persona starts, always from head to toe, an anointing of red paint ending with, “What do you think?” I’ll tell you what I think.

Last Saturday I desperately needed a rush job within controllable geographical distance. I set myself an 8am appointment with my hood stylist, Rose. And agreed to brunch with Big Bro at 10am. In and out in 2! Except, when has a salon visit ever gone predictably? First, Rose texted. She’d be late. 15 minutes. Then, I was just late. 8.27am. In my defense I was running an errand for said brother. Felicia Leatherwood’s clients know exactly how much time they will spend at the salon. It’s writ on her Hollywood wall. The transition from client A to B is 15 minutes. If you’re late, you lose your slot and must rebook. Because she’s Felicia, that’d be months away. Thank yee gods it wasn’t L.A.

Salons, bless, have the capacity to make me feel pretty even at my least attractive. I mean, if a post shampoo female at her drippy finest in the incandescently deadening fluorescent lighting does not look at herself in the mirror, is she still flawless? That’s why staring at my straw-copper hair under said lighting I thought, “Damn I’m hot,” – said no one ever. Rose suggested a colour refresh. Said it would only take 30 minutes. Has anything in the history of hair ever really taken only 30 minutes? Since my hair apparently has a community independent of my head, of course I said yes. I have a minute. Or 407. Also, a stash of expected books with respectable public covers like Chimamanda, Stephen Covey and Malcolm Gladwell – completely unreadable inside the perpetual electric buzz of a salon but hey – who cares. Throw in WiFi and executives with laptops and it is no time to crack open Nancy Friday.

Meanwhile I was fending off a very patient man on WhatsApp. Big Bro has an advanced degree in Women Salonery. He is married and wifey has a magnificent mane. Here’s how our conversation went at 17 minute intervals.

Big Bro: Tell me when you’re done so I can know what time to leave the house

Me: I’m running late!

BB: Duh

Me: Ok. Let’s make it 10.30am

BB: Eye roll.

Me: Ok. For real this time, let’s move it to 11am. I’ll be done!

BB: Side eye. Feeds the family cat. Ok they don’t have one, but they are far more likely to find and adopt than I am to make it at 11am.

Me: 11:30am! Promise! (Inserts about 11 running man emojis)…

BB: *crickets*

I summon Uber because, Mombasa Road. I like being Zen on Saturdays. It makes me a nicer person on air. The kind that namastes the tweefs, “constructive criticism” and whatever Faceboook wars are called. Yes, I’m talking about you uncensored pages and yes, I totally went there. Soon as I hit the ground, the tepid, unpredictable sun highlighting my red head, burst into Java and ta-da!! Honey, I’m … erm… here!! At which point my ridiculously good looking buff brother (it’s my story and I can say whatever the hell I want) arches a brow, pins my hair with a sarcastic look and says — “that’s what I’ve been waiting for?” Parenting books practically make it a requirement that older siblings rib younger ones. Besides, I completely get his perspective. So let’s rewind.

This meet was supposed to happen in March. At 11am. At my confirmation. Except, you guessed it, I was at The Salon. From 9.30am. I was done at 2.27pm. I checked. Because I texted him and he fake-gasped.

Also, he has another sister and a mum.That’s why he stays in his PJs awaiting my confirmation, unimpressed by declarations of being an early bird client. Allow me to clue you in just how delicious salon sunrises are. Blow driers haven’t pumped up the heat, kids are still home with mummy, my butt isn’t on anyone’s face when I move, I promptly have a drink thrust in my hand, sink is mine, air is crispy and everyone refreshed and sweet. Basically, the crank hasn’t set it. What I had not known was how much patience man requires to wait out a salon visit. It needs more than a list of interests and hobbies and a bunch of fun stuff to get up to as nails get filed. The consequences for dudes can be summed up quick:

  1. Do not ever wait at the salon reception
  2. Never believe her when she says “this won’t take long,” I will only take an hour at best,” – I’ve used that one a few times – “I’m just getting a blow dry,” or “Pick me up at 3”
  3. If she is a Naturalista you simply have no Saturday/Sunday/WheneverWashdayIsDay
  4. Don’t ever rush her. Yes. It applies everywhere.
  5. Eat
  6. Drink water
  7. Always carry your charger

When I spectacularly blew into Java, framed by the beauty of the midmorning – ok ok – noon sun – all Big Bro saw was this – two big fat thick lines snaking down my scalp. And not much else. These, he is very obviously thinking, did not just take you close to 4 hours!! Two Godarned lines (Biko told me not to cuss…) – traffic, errands and wait time notwithstanding. So my hair smells nice, it’s neat and it’s RED. Granted it did not look like this previously on Fashion Watch – big effing deal. What’s with the time suck?? He would be right. The transformation is at best interesting, but I didn’t exactly turn up in a long, purple weave and tattooed eyebrows.

Let’s cross over to my side. Again. Because this is about me. I know guys wonder, what the hell – heck – whatevs Biko – do you do in the salon, why does it take so long and why does it cost so much? Well. You know how when you go to a barber, one person drapes a towel over your shoulders, and sometimes it’s not the same one who flicks and Velcros you into that smock, right before the main act, the barber, turns up with all the requisite importance and another minion will wash – because men don’t get shampooed apparently – your head/hair/scalp?  It’s exactly the same thing, only women have more moving parts. Our army aka Glam Squad tend to a cross section of needs.

My hair for instance was done by 3 different people through various stages of tending, never at the same time. Once, on my epic 8 hour day, it involved a rotating line of 7 people. However, during overwhelm, serial saloning is sometimes transformed into a polyamorous affair. In such cases a woman is surrounded by a steadily working swarm – I mean team – from hair, brow, fingers to feet, all trying valiantly not to take too many breaks or too many calls. This is exactly why wee hour visits are such a treat. Tempers will rarely flare at 8am, mostly, the client’s temper, specifically, my temper. Also, not all salon hissy fits – other people’s and mine – are created equal. It depends on fixability, time and hunger levels of all the parties involved. Yet another reason men sense intuitively that women need to go away to the salon, just so that they can come back. Mellowed. Primed. Preened. An unhappy salon service has a vicious ripple effect. For salon owners, keeping clients calm and fluffed ranks right up there with world peace, one strand at a time.

Big Bro didn’t give a rat’s bum (Biko, can I say ass? Bum is so Disney), but, Rose and I tried out a new colour, prior to my visit I had to WhatsApp 3 different photos, each with 3 different angles showing her exactly what I wanted and which specific shade of Marley braid I needed. When I arrived these plans had to be reestablished and confirmed. You can’t just take it for granted. I could have had a dream. So could she but since it’s my head my dream trumps her dream even if it was the same dream. I had to undo my previous do, condition my hair to detangle it, shampoo to clear off product residue, colour, shampoo post colour, detangle post colour, condition, moisturise and finger comb for braiding, braid, then Rose swoops in with her final touch. No babies cried in the making of this hair. Because Big Bro was waiting, I skipped the whole nailing it affair.  And so I arrived, my African scalp savouring the cool, caressing fingertips of the wind running it’s gentle hand through my tangle-free kinky red hair. The moral of the story: absolutely none. I do think however some pins might be coming unhinged and need a little push back in.

Photo credit : mpasho.co.ke

185 Responses
  • cheronoirene
    26.04.2016

    yeah……numbari moja

    • Wesh - Peter Wesh
      26.04.2016

      Yo! Cherono mami, what did we say about this first comments? And what they hell is numbari? Ebu go down there and write something about your hair! Btw do you have long curvy hair with the natural black look and that falls effortlessly over your back and that when blown by the wind looks like the one in the Miadi advert and in which case will cause me to overlook your comment? If yes marry me if no get your ass down there and comment something else 🙂

      • joie
        26.04.2016

        hehe

      • @clif_the_tall
        26.04.2016

        hahaha… Wesh stop lol.

      • Emma
        26.04.2016

        Hahahahaha

      • Emma
        26.04.2016

        ROTFL

      • WanjikuWaNyeri
        26.04.2016

        Considering you comment on every first commenter, I’m starting to think you have like ‘the commenter of the first commenter’ thing.

        • Clare
          29.04.2016

          So true

      • betty
        26.04.2016

        hahahahaha

      • Nyar Oyando
        26.04.2016

        Hahaha, seriously?!

      • A
        26.04.2016

        LOL!

    • Shem
      26.04.2016

      Let the lady be.

  • roba
    26.04.2016

    ?

    • weke
      26.04.2016

      Give Wesh a beer already.Bora alipie

  • Wesh - Peter Wesh
    26.04.2016

    Read up to where Biko says “Gentlemen, this week you might want to read something else, because this piece will fly over your scalp”. Now I am reading old texts (I had hoped to use this time to read Biko’s) as I wait for the gang’s comments to pile up then I come back and see what the hair thingie is all about 🙂

    • Wambui Ndirangu
      26.04.2016

      Hahaha. Am here for the comments too.

    • Wanjiku
      26.04.2016

      so I’m not the only one who finds reading old texts a favourable pass time

    • Irene
      26.04.2016

      I did not understand a thing. Gave up along the way.

      1
      • achi
        27.04.2016

        Totally, i was lost at, ummmm…i don’t know. i just didn’t get.

    • Irene
      26.04.2016

      I did not grasp a thing. Gave up along midway.

      1
      • mtk
        26.04.2016

        Me too..I didn’t the story (if there was one)

      • Boni
        26.04.2016

        Understand….grasp….wow your vocabulary rangeis mind boggling!

      • wachira
        27.04.2016

        I gave up too

    • James
      26.04.2016

      good decision

    • James
      26.04.2016

      Post the first article, to hell with feelings…..Biko. Be a man!

  • Robert
    26.04.2016

    This flew over my scalp!! Its too hairy for me. Someone who has never had hair longer than 2 inches.

    • Ranji
      26.04.2016

      He he he Robert,we see what you did there..Yeah this read is too hairy for a guy…

    • @clif_the_tall
      26.04.2016

      Hehehe… hairy it is.

  • Shem
    26.04.2016

    Yawned at the second paragraph of Carol blah blah, sorry Biko, this one didn’t work.

    • Shem
      26.04.2016

      Biko, you need to post another article.

      • mama c
        26.04.2016

        This one wasn’t for you. Stop throwing shade.

  • Josse
    26.04.2016

    booorrriinnggggggg

    • weke
      26.04.2016

      The way you write boring is super boring.

  • Observer
    26.04.2016

    Her writing is (always) difficult to read.

    • Victor
      26.04.2016

      I find her random prose very refreshing. She writes as she’d speak = an all over the place flow. Love that kind of writing.

      • Observer
        26.04.2016

        You have described precisely how she writes. I guess it’s
        like the Classical Music of writing. It’s niche market swear by it.
        The rest of us just don’t appreciate it.

      • Jay
        26.04.2016

        Thank you. I love how she writes…beautifully vivid & smooth.
        Biko shouldn’t have asked for 2,000 words though. 800 words max would have worked for her style.
        That said, I love the camaraderie she has with the Big Bro. And she is right about Salon sessions having he feel of an expedition. 8 hrs? That is a killer for me.
        I do 2 hrs max. And I actually time how long I’m under the drier (I get nutty if its more than 20 mins).
        PS: Carol, loove the hair. Could channel my inner X-men with that kind of mane.

  • Nao
    26.04.2016

    Biko you always claim that you don’t let guys read their stories before you post them. Why the exception?

    • wambui
      26.04.2016

      because it was probably too personal?

  • kev guru
    26.04.2016

    Flew right over my bald head

  • Eunice
    26.04.2016

    I couldn’t go beyond where you stopped Biko.Just couldn’t.

    • roba
      26.04.2016

      I ALSO DID THE SAME…

    • betty
      26.04.2016

      same

    • Darliken
      26.04.2016

      Bored…we need to be compensated for a tuesday disappointment

    • Imelda
      26.04.2016

      Sigh , same here

  • Wanjuhi
    26.04.2016

    I was always fascinated by CO’s hair I think it takes a special kind of person to pull it off from head to toe and she does!!

  • @clif_the_tall
    26.04.2016

    Well i have not read this piece, truth be told… NIMEFIKA HAPA >>>> Gentlemen, this week you might want to read something else, because this piece will fly over your scalp. Looking forward to the next article.

  • Jacqueline kiganili
    26.04.2016

    This piece has missed the boat by a river

    • wanji
      26.04.2016

      pwahahha, chills for who?

    • Joe
      26.04.2016

      Ok. Few fucks given here, haha.

  • jonyabz
    26.04.2016

    how could you let the lady dissuade you from posting ..lemme dress like a cross-dresser and read through the comments.

  • Syson
    26.04.2016

    I absolutely made no sense out of this. Or was that the writer’s intention? If so, well done.

  • Ben
    26.04.2016

    it did fly over my scalp alright!, some where close to the outer space to be precise.Hope the guys aboard the ISS enjoy it!

  • Evans Ogeto
    26.04.2016

    Just to be clear, I am here for the photo above…its a nice picture and the model is awesome. Keep up.
    http://www.ogetoevans.com

  • AMANI
    26.04.2016

    Biko started wellooooh, and it was flowing until he
    intro this hair stuff…. i read one line and
    then i could not continue, sorry honestly i could not.
    Some other time..

  • Victor
    26.04.2016

    “You can’t just take it for granted. I could have had a dream. So could she.” WOMEN ARE SO FUNNY.

    Hahaha!!! I just relived all of my salon days, as the odd guy out among a full room of women. This is legit, LOL.

  • Brian Rop
    26.04.2016

    Don’t let CO write again, at least when it’s about hair. Couldn’t grasp a thing!

  • Sintoh
    26.04.2016

    This article was not for me, tried to read but still couldn’t finish.
    I still love you Carol though.

  • Miss bush
    26.04.2016

    Hey carol, whenever i grab a sunday nation i make sure to read your column. I can only imagine the look your broh gave u

  • Gina
    26.04.2016

    Was this a masterpiece or something she came up with in a huff? like seriously she has red hair and that’s all she brought? I’m disappointed! please stick that pin on my voodoo heart help me explain this pain!

  • Love the fiery red ‘hair ablaze’ look. Absolute stunner! But wow..meeting your brother on a ‘hair day’ is a no-no Carol. Hair days should just be that..a day given to the salon, and if you see there’s hope for finishing up on time, then you call your brother up..*two birds one stone*
    I guess most of us women love to spend time at the salon, not only to boost appearances, but as well it’s therapeutic..nothing screams bliss like having someone else’s fingers massage your scalp or wash your hair. I can’t stand ‘the-seven-people-on-the-head’ feel as each one tugs a braid in different directions resulting in sleepless nights the first few days as as you test the limits of pain you can handle while searching for a comfortable place to lay your head on the pillow. Of all the hair experiences I’ve had, I think stumbling onto a barber’s shop in Kuala Lumpur was hand’s down a winner. Not only do they trim the hair good, but they give a scalp massage that feels like light chops on the head, continue to massage the neck, shoulder and arms..absolutely out of this world if a lady prefers the bald look. 😉

  • Lisa
    26.04.2016

    Underwhelming!

  • Nickos
    26.04.2016

    Now gentlemen, you should also learn how to fake it. Kurudisha mkono. The chics have been doing it for so long. Just say something like “that was refreshing”

    1
    • Juliet
      27.04.2016

      fist bump

  • Mr. Nduta
    26.04.2016

    Hollow

  • Samantha
    26.04.2016

    hmmmmmm……

  • Rael
    26.04.2016

    I want lessons on how to make the voodoo dolls… http://www.shesatomboy.com

  • betty
    26.04.2016

    When I saw CO’s photo, was hoping the personal story is about her not her hair.

    • mama c
      26.04.2016

      Actually her hair is hers, not Brazilian or indian or Malaysian or whatever, so her hairstory is herstory

      • kim
        26.04.2016

        hehe I like this

  • Karen Giathi
    26.04.2016

    Flew over my 2 inches of hair too and got lost somewhere midway.

  • Simotol
    26.04.2016

    wow okay, sure did fly over, this one!

  • Susan
    26.04.2016

    I find CO sassy, witty and suave and I watch Fashion Watch just to listen to what she has to say, her column too on Sunday Nation does not disappoint. I totally agree with her that nothing in the history of hair has ever taken only 30 minutes.

  • Genson
    26.04.2016

    I’ve never understood hair and thought that now I will.. ahem.. I give up to ever understand IT…

  • Mirryam Domba
    26.04.2016

    I know how torturous a sharp pain on the insole of my left foot can be therefore I shall not troll Carol Odero Snr
    but methinks 8 hours in a salon is insane

  • Linda Christine
    26.04.2016

    Ok let me pause…Breathe breath..does this article have commas? what did i just read…haki i cant finish its like am eating hair like tangles and tangles of hair..those ones that fall on a salon’s floor

  • Linda Christine
    26.04.2016

    please Biko post the article you wrote…abeg ooooO!!!

    • francis
      26.04.2016

      Another petitioner. And since today people are matching and chaining themselves to gates, Biko whats your address?

      POST THAT ARTICLE NOW.

      • Linda Christine
        26.04.2016

        hehehe Biko what is the name of your ‘TOWERS’ we come

  • David
    26.04.2016

    Wueh!CO makes reading look like work.Biko refund us the time wasted by posting what you initially ought to have posted

  • wanji
    26.04.2016

    This was a very raw deal, I feel cheated!

  • mercy
    26.04.2016

    the comments on this hairy piece are simply hilarious!!

    • mandy
      28.04.2016

      totally agree

  • Jen
    26.04.2016

    Not sure what this story is about, where it’s going and what the point is but nice photo! Love the fierce eyes… Until next time, I will make do with posts za kitambo

  • Emmanuel Dennis
    26.04.2016

    Biko, Like Seriously?

  • Makau
    26.04.2016

    People, this is a very good piece. CW just posted it to the wrong audience. Most me n can’t appreciate this article obviously, coz it doesn’t resonate with them ( and some women too)

  • shiru
    26.04.2016

    didnt get thing.seriously i feel wasted

  • clement ndege
    26.04.2016

    I almost thought i am the dumb one until someone commented the voodoo doll pierced her heart. This one pierced my english knowledge. Naona nirudie fee yangu kwa shule zote nilisomea hii English. Didn’t get a thing

    • jojo
      27.04.2016

      this is exactly what I felt into words…

  • Carol
    26.04.2016

    For those of us who read to the end and thinking we shouldbre-read to find the point.Well at the end she said’moral of the story: absolutely none…So yep,today there was no article for us.Biko I want to share my story

  • Noel
    26.04.2016

    The hair story… The writing style….Ouch! I got a migraine reading this. I have never read her articles and if this is how she do then clearly am not missing much.

  • Rhoda
    26.04.2016

    Got bored somewhere in the middle. I hope my hair affair does not bore people like this. I kind of expected this to be about reactions she has had about her hair, interesting guy she met who was attracted by her hair (if married, please scrap that bit off). Anyway, truth be told, i struggled to complete the read.

    Biko, maybe you should be having a back up copy of your own do whenever you are planning to post one of someone who might change their mind on Monday morning. You’re welcome.

  • Moreen
    26.04.2016

    I always read Carol’s column in the DN but this one… Aaaiii…got to the end with nothing!!

  • Sanny
    26.04.2016

    Biko, kindly understand, when most of us come here, we do it to read your style. Anything short and you get what you’re seeing up here. Please don’t repeat this!!! {insert angry emoticon}

  • Sheilah Mwiti
    26.04.2016

    I loooove CO’s (look at that, made me feel like we could already have brunch lol)writing! It was sassy different free-flowing prose. Also the grammar is to die for! I’ll start reading your articles from now on. Go CO! *grins*

  • Joe
    26.04.2016

    Looking at the comments. Haha nasty spirits reign in here. Carol is getting slayed, and chopped to pieces. Biko, I doubt you read it to the end yourself…Man! Even the ladies are bored. And whining as I am

  • Kimani Ngugi
    26.04.2016

    Very boring writing,Biko just write the way you normally do.

  • Wairimu Chege
    26.04.2016

    I always wondered if Biko would ever disappoint, and yes at least i won!Today Oops it is a ZERO!someone PUSH NEXT TUESDAY!

  • nyobs
    26.04.2016

    gini ongee flavour,ok somre yawa…ptho!

    • owira
      26.04.2016

      post hasomeki

  • Wairimu Wa Chege
    26.04.2016

    I always wondered if Biko would disappoint, Ooops he finally did!It is a zero. Epic fail!

  • Darliken
    26.04.2016

    For once i skimmed over a post on this blog…more boring than that fashion watch thing

  • Shawrie
    26.04.2016

    Biko, post that other article.

  • Boni
    26.04.2016

    Ian is Kenya’s very own Caitylin Jenner…..smdh

  • Cheru
    26.04.2016

    Never have I ever tried in vain to persuade my brain that somewhere along this piece, there might be something worth reading.

  • Nelson
    26.04.2016

    Awuori Biko. Let me sip my croissants polepole.bundles wasted

    • Christine
      26.04.2016

      Ai Biko now u see people are stretching English hadi Croissants can be sipped

      • Wanjuhi
        26.04.2016

        HAHAHAHAHA!!! Saw this and was like the hell?!

  • penina muchiri
    26.04.2016

    I am happy that stuff’s going on well for Ken.

  • Wa-Njūgūna
    26.04.2016

    Maybe I’m the only gentleman who read through. Though I couldn’t grasp a thing about the subject matter, there’s something intriguing about the style…something that reminds me of Toni Morrison, especially her style in the novel ‘Paradise.’ To those who are dismissing this piece I’d say, like Toni, CO is for the serious reader. Hope I didn’t offend her hair!

    • Christine
      27.04.2016

      Please tell me you have read past the Foreward of that book coz the only similarity her writing has with that of ‘paradise’ is the Foreward and the numbering of points which also, only happens in the Foreward.

  • eve
    26.04.2016

    kind of jargon to me, guess her writing is not my cuppa tea

  • SN
    26.04.2016

    Lol! “Good hair, don’t care”. I see what you did there Biko…

  • abdullah omar
    26.04.2016

    Bald bald very bald

  • janoh
    26.04.2016

    if its about women and their hair………just count me out …..I knew I won’t get anything!but thanx u shared that man’s email we can always get in touch with him.

  • Akinyi Nyasuba
    26.04.2016

    At some point I thought I was the only one who found this hair business boring,(mayb cz I keep short hair n spend 300/- and 30mins at the barber) got lost in the 2nd paragraph n decided to read comments instead….Biko please give us something else worth capturing the minds of the intelligent Gang.

  • caroline
    26.04.2016

    I think CO should make movies or something. This reads like a gay salon scene in a bad chic flick … Biko kindly confirm articles before Tuesday!!!! No more excuses

  • Jaki
    26.04.2016

    Ok…hush people…hush. What do you look for in life? I hate salons and have cut my hair in protest, but CO is an awesome writer. I loved it. You don’t have to be Biko yo-yos. Just because he said you might miss the point doesn’t mean you have to. Done.

  • Zippy
    26.04.2016

    I dint finish reading. Biko give me something to read for this week.

  • Bennten
    26.04.2016

    She write articles? Like these ones? Her editor is not being paid enough for putting up with this shit

  • Tesha
    26.04.2016

    Loved it. Loved the different style of writing. Loved especially that she loves her brother.

  • Freeman
    27.04.2016

    Are there people who read such? Biko surely, this is high school, not some PhD class where people invent words and shit. This is shit!

  • Ba
    27.04.2016

    Glad that Ken is progressing well. As for CO, the article was a bad hair day! I doubt that there was a connection with the gang. Once you start using an iPhone, it’s painful to go back to a Motorola C13. Biko, we forgive you on this one but should it happen again, then the small council shall punish you for treasonous tendencies. Check out the penal code on Game of Thrones.

  • George
    27.04.2016

    Biko si you’re still bald? How can you let someone write this many words about hair? What’s next.. pedicure tips? Feeling emasculated

  • Kevin
    27.04.2016

    I literally hopped, skipped and jumped through the piece. I should have taken the advice to do something else. I hope you ladies enjoyed it though.

  • done
    27.04.2016

    Next time get Baraza J.M to write a post. u owe us (men)one

  • Purity
    27.04.2016

    Abdullah omar I saw what you did there.
    CO, your article was a little difficult to read but there were some good sections in there. I would definitely get tangled in your hair story again. Wesh, your long curvy haired girl never posted back. Maybe it’s your hair. (runs and hides)

  • Mutheu
    27.04.2016

    Got lost midway through, tried to find my way but just kept getting lost and gave up totally!!

  • velisa
    27.04.2016

    the super speed & complexity how her mind works along with multi tasking is reflected in her writing…interesting but hard to read

  • muthoni
    27.04.2016

    well, 15 minutes of my life i will never get back…

  • Maureen
    27.04.2016

    Biko after that deep thoughtful blog last week about Ken, this one just feels superfluous and shallow, however you spell that word. I got bored after Amadiva Salon.

  • kioi
    27.04.2016

    The comments did what the article didnt i will keep reading her column on sunday nation though.please Biko take done’s advice and invite Baraza JM tuesday moja am sure the gang will appreciate.

  • Njeri
    27.04.2016

    seems that gang is only used to emotionals haha Nice work CO.

  • Njeri
    27.04.2016

    seems that gang is only used to ’emotionals’ haha Nice work CO.

  • Thesther
    27.04.2016

    C.O is pretty. She has nice hair. But could she not write again? Please Biko.

    • Gitz
      27.04.2016

      I second yu on that…Next time Biko write the article yourself there’s no life in this article.

  • Carole
    27.04.2016

    Biko, The GANG has spoken!!! We got tangled up in this hairy article and request that you get to work on another article FOR US, YOUR GANG! Yes, Chocolate man, yes?

  • Muigai
    27.04.2016

    Hairlarious.All I am saying

  • Nomz
    27.04.2016

    those of us who didn’t get it, can we appeal for another story for this week?

  • kate
    27.04.2016

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz you lost me on article about hair….
    ***p.s you need a yahoo account to subscribe to blogs, register for Facebook, twitter and other social sites that fill your inbox with constant notifications you do not want to know about or read. Viva yahoo

  • Lulu
    27.04.2016

    I absolutely enjoyed this read. Random hair musings well put..

  • sarah
    27.04.2016

    I love your writing Carol, and 30 minutes is never 30 minutes! I’ve taken 6 hours before.
    Two reasons why some didn’t get the flow of your writing,
    1. They are used to simple English, Biko (I didn’t say your English is bad), but let’s be honest, CO’s writing is so deep, its for people who READ!
    2. Its about hair, the men just switched off before reading it.

    • sylvia
      27.04.2016

      I totally agree with you.I love carol articles.

  • Ndinda
    27.04.2016

    Biko, yes we do spend time in the Salon…like that story should have been 7 words long! Why waste our precious time? Cant get the flow and I agree with CO- Moral of the story; none!

  • Njooro
    27.04.2016

    N by the way, whoever dressed Ian that day, doesn’t like him. Was a Jenna moment.

  • Jane Shirima
    27.04.2016

    Am a lady but reading about hair is not my cup of tea so i pass.Biko we need compensation..

  • General Zod
    27.04.2016

    I stopped reading at SALONERY.

  • Steve's Corner
    27.04.2016

    Biko, who is that chatacter who says you want to fleece the public?

    Don’t they have even an iota of humanity ledt in them.

    You’ve touched Ken’s life and changed it for better. Take the opportunity to highlight more of such stories and believe you me, people will come out to help and make the world a better place. God bless you for blessing others.

  • Gitz
    27.04.2016

    Lost track of the story at this point…Gentlemen, this week you might want to read something else, because this piece will fly over your scalp.

  • Jacky
    27.04.2016

    Whoa! That was terribly exhausting. Such a boring read, unfortunately. What exactly was the point? Jeez!

  • Andrew
    27.04.2016

    Eh! it indeed flew by me.

  • feli
    27.04.2016

    Hehe I liked carol writing but it was too long. It ought
    to have been short. I had long hair for years now
    I just visit the barber.

  • Jenny
    27.04.2016

    Carol is definitely smart, well spoken, interesting piece which is not meant for people from Muchatha, like me. I consulted my dictionary a couple of times. My only concern is the heavy use of vocabulary, which at times I felt was wrongly used, like the word polyamorous, but then again, mimi ni wa Murang’a. She definitely is well spoken though.

  • petro
    27.04.2016

    could have been worse, like let’s say a post about a wig!

  • Ireneann
    28.04.2016

    Gang, stop the emotions, give CO a break she is different and vocabulary is on point.

  • K.C
    28.04.2016

    This was painful.

  • Delight
    28.04.2016

    I totally enjoyed this. Her writing is different from Biko’s (complex); I guess that’s why Le Gang is complaining so much. I found the piece witty and random, no different from my thoughts.
    Good job Carol. Here is a toast to coloured hair- (mine is gold)- and keeping people waiting or even cancelling while at the salon.

  • Jackinda
    28.04.2016

    I don’t think the piece is bad.
    I think Chocolate man just has us hooked on his unique stylistic penmanship.
    We expected whisky but got brandy.
    Msitete sana.

  • mandy
    28.04.2016

    all i can say is it is never boring in here. if the article is boring the gang will make it worth while. enjoyed the comments and was laughing off my seat!
    Biko abeg! dont do this to us again

  • Angel
    28.04.2016

    Me too. I gave up after the first few lines.

  • Naomi
    28.04.2016

    Confession; I have never liked CO on the show or rather given much attention to her on the show. But after reading this, she can have all my attention all she wants! I love the piece, it’s beautifully written. Plus I totally relate. A date planned on salon date ends up in the list of ‘Things to postpone’.

    • Naomi
      28.04.2016

      Meant to write, *a date planned on salon day*

  • Maryann
    28.04.2016

    Hate the salon. 8 hours In a salon, 8 hours!!!! Why?…..

  • jennifer
    28.04.2016

    switched off at some point.

  • Awesome
    28.04.2016

    What the hell is she talking about????

  • Kioko
    29.04.2016

    Si hata ungeandika Bible verses hapa tusome

  • Sue
    29.04.2016

    I jumped off a cliff when reading this. I strangled myself with her kinky hair, and still I did not understand why she was all over the place 🙁 I get that it’s her writing style but I didn’t enjoy this. Maybe it’s me, I don’t know.

  • Dutchess Wanga
    29.04.2016

    I was eagerly waiting for Carol’s response on that blouse that Ian wore…lol Also gave up after the 8hr thingy, doesn’t make sense to me at all! Wish she could have indulged you on why Ian chose that outfit, now that would have been juicy!

  • Mucheru
    29.04.2016

    Weekly like the watering hole we come here to crack some ribs, add flavour to to the week. Id rather your quibs on weaves (angle gabs God n nija weaves). I think this is Ethiopia (medical conference)

  • DENNIS MURIMI NJIRU
    29.04.2016

    I just read this (not really read, but attempted to read) and I am heading straight to my barber. I do not want anything to do with hair. Very confusing and difficult to understand.

  • Andrew
    29.04.2016

    I tried being patient with Carol’s writing style but I gave up. Writing is not about big words but having the reader’s mindset. My two cents. sorry!

  • Nasike Sivikhe
    29.04.2016

    CO, please don’t make a voodoo doll of me, the headache i got after reading the article was punishment enough. I love CO Snr(the hair) but not a 2000 word article about her. One that does not seem to head anywhere. I don’t read for the moral of the story, i just want to get the story. And anyone stating that the English was too complex for some to understand, it was not.But the long winded tale that had me running in circles was “complex”. Nice introduction to the piece though. Am making a voodoo doll of you, just in case. Disappointed.

  • Joy
    29.04.2016

    Even though I didn’t enjoy this piece, I became aware of the fact that Carol is a writer and has a Sunday column.
    Thanks Biko

  • Ronald Yego
    30.04.2016

    Kama sikusoma set book, hii nitadecode aje?
    ” drippy
    finest in the incandescently deadening
    fluorescent lighting does not look at herself
    in the mirror, is she still flawless? That’s why
    staring at my straw-copper hair under said
    lighting I thought, “Damn I’m hot,” – said no
    one ever. “

  • kipkogei
    01.05.2016

    Nice article,wrong audience.
    And err…some us abhor hair and its attendant tales

  • Kenyan Writer
    01.05.2016

    I read it to the end. I liked
    it, especially the way the article was all over the place. The image is awesome too. Thank you for your 2,000 words Carol. If you had a blog, I would follow it.

    And ha! hadn’t thought about it that way, 8 hours in the salon equals 1 trip from Nairobi to Kisumu. Lol.

  • mwihaki
    03.05.2016

    boring.. epic fail… something better biko

  • `Napster
    05.05.2016

    I started being the new blog reader, where I come in late to articles and just binge-read them. And I’ve been loving it, because sometimes the anticipation, waiting from week to week, is too much. This one here though, almost put an end to my binge-reading career.

  • Festus
    06.05.2016

    Sophisticated writing, .

  • cate
    12.05.2016

    Did anyone find this article interesting? its super boring!

  • Ivayo Archimedes
    19.05.2016

    Haha Biko, truth is I don’t understand a dime about women and their hairs. But I love them fresh and shinny. May be that is why I didn’t understand Carol’s story

  • phelisia
    13.07.2016

    This is really entertaining

  • Raychael
    03.09.2016

    I thought i was the only one who gave up along the way. Maybe fashion is not my thing as much as i try to dress up.

    I only enjoy life and people read.

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