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Touch

By Hanafi Kaka | Resident Geek

There is this little, smart device you want, even though you don’t know it yet. It’s a small creature. Tiny enough to fit in any pocket. You can take it with you everywhere; kiss it goodnight, sing sad love songs to it, hang it on your neck with a manila rope, take it to Mauritius for the holidays and tag it in all your Facebook pictures. Hell, you will even take it home to Machakos to meet your mother.

I’ve been banging my head to the wall for the last week, trying to come up with a very sexy name for it. The little geeks I have chained in my basement could have gone hungry tonight if they couldn’t come up with a cool name to easily blurb out as social currency, but they did their best. And they are all getting ginger biscuits for supper. Yaaay!

Ladies, gentlemen (and Magunga). . . meet TOUCH.

SanDisk call theirs the DUAL USB DRIVE TYPE C. It’s a mouthful obviously, but we are cool here. We like our floors made of black marble and our whisky served in chilled glasses. We don’t wear pink; we go black for mystery. Grey for sexy. And sometimes red, just for attention. So we shall call it TOUCH.

It’s a small device that works both ways as a flash disk (Americans, read flash drive) and as a memory card.

On one end, you can connect it to your comp. Drag-drop music, videos, documents, FBI files and pictures of hot chicken wings that you just can’t eat anymore because you had a clot once (Haha, had to say that).  On the other end, you can connect it to your phone with the tiny metallic part like your USB charger has. Files can go both ways. Careful not to confuse it with USB-OTG (USB ON THE GO), which is basically a long wire that allows you to connect your flash to your comp, like they have in most cyber cafes. This is actually a flash that connects to your computer and your phone.

At first it may sound like the stupidest thing ever invented, because who needs TOUCH when you already have a million other options, right? But this thing is invaluable, especially to the many of us who have to send a hundred email attachments to a hundred million people every day, individually.

You can’t be in the office all day, and you can’t carry your computer with you everywhere. You will become a meme sooner than you can say bikozulu. So, while you have to run errands and carry your whole documents folder with you everywhere, you do it with TOUCH. No wires, no weight. And most importantly, no filling your phone/tablet with loads of work documents that take up much needed space for your laughing babies and talking dogs WhatsApp videos. It has 32GB portable memory, and USB 3.0

Now, SanDisk makes reliable techies, the only complaint most people have is that SanDisk gadgets copy slower than others. But I will recommend it anyway.

Every tech store I asked around, their fake geeks have no name for it. So you have to walk in and pretend you’ve always known it’s manufacturer’s label, probably some long name with numbers and decimals that numb your tongue just from saying it out loud. But you could always say you want a Touch, and someone might just ask you: Deep tissue or just regular?

50 Responses
  • Annie
    23.11.2015

    I must be your target audience; I get to read tech and understand for once :-). Nice write!




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  • Koome
    23.11.2015

    Sounds invaluable. You hit the point with least of words . Good one Hanafi.




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  • Maureen
    23.11.2015

    lol….ladies and gentlemen (and Magunga)




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  • abdullah omar
    23.11.2015

    you think my mother will by me a 70th year birthday present if i dont touch her wardrobe?




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  • Dodo
    23.11.2015

    Lol @talking dogs!!
    I want touch!! Did you mention how much a genuine one goes for?




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  • Magunga
    23.11.2015

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What is it, Hanafi? You want to join in my morning runs?
    http://www.magunga.com/in-the-long-run/




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  • Joy
    23.11.2015

    That’s exactly what I need for my numerous photos and video clips that have me having to free up some space in my phone every now and then, just because I do not want to transfer everything to my laptop since I may need them when I don’t have access to the laptop!Any particular shop you may point me to? TIA.
    http://www.lilmissbelle.com




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  • June
    23.11.2015

    Very nice piece. clap clap.
    pictures of hot chicken wings that you just can’t eat anymore because you had a clot once (mchokozi ni wewe)




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  • AL
    23.11.2015

    Maybe its name should be Assegai.




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  • Christine
    23.11.2015

    What happened to Benjaps,did you block him from commenting?@bikozulu




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    • Christine
      23.11.2015

      And Mufasa?




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      • LJ
        23.11.2015

        Yeah, Benjaps and Kidikibudi (the worded guy) ! Would wish to hear from them. There comments had a shelf life. Perhaps they switched to different monikers.Perhaps..
        Mufasa is still a regular though.

        http://www.lusekacafe.com




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      • LJ
        23.11.2015

        Yeah, Benjaps and Kidikibudi (the words guy) ! Would wish to hear from them. There comments had a shelf life. Perhaps they switched to different monikers.Perhaps..
        Mufasa is still a regular though.

        http://www.lusekacafe.com




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    • Magunga
      23.11.2015

      Kidikibudi – the one with a lot of English




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  • Vincent mwongela
    23.11.2015

    You break matters tech and make them look so easy, awasom piece worth reading




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  • LPFJ3
    23.11.2015

    32GB!
    All.
    The.
    Porn.
    All.
    The.
    Porn.
    All.
    The.
    Porn.




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  • @popekiama
    23.11.2015

    I’ve been using it for like three months and i swear its the best thing ever, and Biko, if it’s 3.0, you no longer need to say it copies slower as compared to most flash drives which are 2.0




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  • sharon
    23.11.2015

    i like this guy




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  • Wanjuhi
    23.11.2015

    How much is this little lifesaver?




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  • LJ
    23.11.2015

    Keep doing it man. For once I read a guy who makes tech relatable better than other writers who will wash it down by frequently sneaking in those confusing techy words, the jargon. Great.

    http://www.lusekacafe.com




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  • feli
    23.11.2015

    This tech guy writes well.Makes these items easy
    to understand.,and its not boring .I like this guy




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  • Hellen mueni
    23.11.2015

    Talking dogs… Haha




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  • Binnsword
    23.11.2015

    Nice read.




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  • Adewa
    23.11.2015

    Av bin finding myself saving a whole tv series to my phone to watch in these long traffic jams and this is just wat i need to save on space. Qn is how much is it?.. N how easy can i get it?




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  • Victoria
    23.11.2015

    Hahaaaaaaaaa, where does Magunga fall? since he’s not in the ladies and gentlemen bracket.




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  • Ree
    23.11.2015

    I enjoyed reading this. How much is it Hanafi?




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  • peter musyoka
    23.11.2015

    You are a fast learner man, I love your writing. U r up to Biko standards.




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  • JoJo
    23.11.2015

    This piece is by Hanafi Kaka. Not Biko.




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  • caroline
    23.11.2015

    Deep tissue or just regular? Good one!




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  • Faceless Piranha
    23.11.2015

    Enyewe Magunga, hizo links zako za kila siku kwa comments section are starting to become boring.

    Wow Hanafi, I live in shags and every item you’ve talked about so far sijawahi skia. But at least now naona nitaanza kuwa on top of my game if I keep reading your articles.




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    • Rhenadhis
      23.11.2015

      Piranha if you’ve got a probem with Magunga keep it to yourself. So many other bloggers post their links here.

      It’s a choice to visit their blogs or not just as it is to read their comments or not.




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      • Earnest Hassan
        25.11.2015

        awachane na magunga, we love the links




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        • Zorroellie
          26.11.2015

          mtu akiguza Magunga tena atalala korokoroni. He is my link up to planet earth. I seek his comments first then read the rest in that order.




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  • Wanjira
    23.11.2015

    I really like this writing. Short, tasteful and sweet.




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  • The Black Kennedy
    24.11.2015

    You know, there is something in brevity
    that will keep a guy “hanging”
    Great touch Hanafi.
    Cheers!!!




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  • oliver Tambo
    24.11.2015

    The little geeks I have chained in my basement
    could have gone hungry tonight if they couldn’t
    come up with a cool name to easily blurb out……good read,reminded me of minions




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  • Varun Arora
    24.11.2015

    Its amazing first time i saw this kind of pan drive would live to buy.




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  • angel A
    24.11.2015

    Your posts are informative. If only you could add useful stuff like: the available types, where they are sold in town and the cost… it would make an excellent tech read.




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  • sam
    25.11.2015

    been using ‘touch’ for 7 months now.Awesome device tho slow while coping stuff. 4gb retailing at kshs 700, 16gb going for Kshs 1400




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    • sam
      25.11.2015

      samsung model




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  • chaxchax
    25.11.2015

    And they are all getting ginger biscuits for
    supper. Yaaay!……who eats ginger biscuits for supper Hanafi… I love everything tech… niice read.




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  • Zorroellie
    26.11.2015

    That thing touched my life once and keeps saving me from heavy workloads. I like it more when am using it on a matatu and guys be like; Can I touch it, its cool.




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  • Flinspinner
    27.11.2015

    ” and pictures of hot chicken wings that you just can’t eat anymore because you had a clot once (Ha ha, had to say that)” this part killed me




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  • Ythera
    29.11.2015

    Love this Hanafi. Keep em coming.




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  • Allen
    30.11.2015

    Americans call it Thumb Drive




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  • Edna
    01.12.2015

    Great stuff Hanafi.




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  • Dre
    05.12.2015

    I thought my San disk was faulty. It’s bloody slow. Too slow. Don’t they have touch on transcend. I will be donating this bloody thing.




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  • Obino
    05.12.2015

    Nice read. Am definitely buying it!




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  • Dannie
    05.01.2016

    Hey, Hanafi.
    This is excellent. Kept me glued to the post to the very end.
    Now, go tell Biko to double your pay (or start paying you if he hasn’t already, hehe) because I said so. I have read a number of your pieces, and I have liked each one of them. I am officially a fan.
    That makes two of the best guest writers Biko has featured on these streets. The other being the other lady (Nduta?) who wrote about sex in Dar-es-salaam in such a way would make one contemplate catching the earliest flight to the Tanzanian City so they can have sex in a Dar Hotel.




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