Sign up with your email address to be the first to know about new products, VIP offers, blog features & more.

When You Are Trying To Have A Baby

By Sophie Gitonga “Mama Pendo”

When you are trying to have a baby, it consumes your every waking moment. You imagine looks of solidarity, scorn or sympathy from every face you encounter. As if they already know that your womb is like a hollowed out gourd, dry and devoid of life.

Sex becomes less about making love with your mate and more about making a baby. It’s become a science. It’s about frequency, basal temperatures, cervical mucus, ovulation, sperm counts, hormone levels, stress levels, right amounts of lubrication, no lubrication, and the appropriate length of time to keep your legs raised at the right angle before you can get up.

When you are trying to have a baby, you find God at the peak of your ovulation. You make him promises, some you intend to keep. You devote your first child to him; if he just lets you have it. You give up smoking, drinking and gossiping. Because you believe quite strongly that sin is the reason your womb is silent. You make peace with your enemies and increase your tithe. And when your period shows up, like clockwork, with its unmistaken bright red flow, you lose God. You push him out your door like a guest who has overstayed his welcome. You say unkind things to him, that he is cruel and unfair. “Why me?” you ask him. But all you get is silence, the same silence that’s coming from your womb. And you ask him to leave you and to take your womb with him because it is of no use to you.

You begin to notice the women with protruding bellies they are everywhere, looking smug about their pregnancies. They are on the streets, in the bus, in the queue behind you at the supermarket, who makes you feel obliged to let her go in front of you because she looks so tired and worn out. You say congratulations to her half smiling, while you try to swallow the lump that’s now growing in your throat. You want to be as tired as she is from growing a human. You want it all, you convince yourself, the nausea, the swollen feet and even the puffed up nose. Why do the noses of pregnant women become so large by the way?

There’s another kid having a tantrum because his mother won’t buy him candy. He’s splaying himself on the floor now, whirling like a dervish. His mother gives him that look that says, ‘wait till we get home’. You want to give that look to your child. Every woman has that look, it’s like a factory setting that is downloaded the instant you become a mum. You see another mother using her saliva to wipe off something from her baby’s face. You wonder if you’ll ever get to experience the magical stain removing qualities of a mother’s saliva. But your baby remains elusive.

Your younger brother is sending you pictures of his daughter. She’s smiling in one of them, her big gummy smile. You gotta love how babies smile; the smile comes all the way up to their eyes. They have not yet learnt cynicism and disappointment and so when they smile it’s a genuine whole face smile. These pictures only serve to increase your longing. You reply with ‘how adorable’ and heart shaped emojis as the lump persistently bobs in your throat.

Ten, fifteen years ago, your priorities and desires were a lot different. Motherhood was not in your radar. You were busy with other things you told yourself. You needed to go to college and get into a career before being saddled with babies. You were looking for Mr Right but before he showed up, you were happy with Mr Right Now. You used contraceptives to make sure that Mr Right Now did not disorganise you. You waltzed through life unencumbered. You had time you said, besides your biological clock wasn’t ticking, you said. Then, Mr Right walked in and suddenly your loins were electrified like they had
never been before. He said he saw you as the mother of his children and your ovaries were jolted from their dormancy. You married each other and you debated how soon the babies should arrive, in what order and number. You fought over names, yes; you had already named your non-existent babies. You got the implant pulled out of your arm. Then you heard it, faint at first and then a crescendo. It was your biological clock, ticking so loudly you were sure the people around you could hear it. Yet the baby still didn’t come.

You scour the internet for answers and type the words “causes of infertility”. And you can scarcely believe it, that you are
typing those words. Because it’s an admission you see, that you are damaged. If you were an animal you would be sold off for your meat, that’s what you would be good for. Top of the list of causes of infertility is Satan – well not really but it seems right to place that at his hoofed feet. You read something about advanced maternal age and the declining quality of eggs and you realize you are past your ‘sell by date’. Shit, you were busy taking your eggs to university and getting them all educated when they should have been making a baby.

Your co-worker falls pregnant. ‘Falls’ here is the appropriate word because it was an accident, an unplanned pregnancy. You ask her how these accidents happen because you’d like to be a victim. She was drunk she says, a one-off event with a guy she had known for a while but wasn’t really into. You mull over the idea of trying this out with the husband. Maybe all the mechanical sex you’ve been having has gotten you too strung up to get pregnant. So you get high on a great bottle of wine and you make love that night the way you used to and you convince yourselves that this just might be it. You are pacing around the bathroom a few weeks later. Your period is late! Could it be? You pee on the pregnancy stick then you wait. The longest five minutes of your entire life. And when you walk up to it, silently so as not to surprise it and somehow mess up its chemistry, you notice the pregnancy line is blank…fucking blank. You’ve never been a thrower of things but today you go ape shit on everything in your line of sight. You don’t know who you are mad at but you are mad. That lump in your throat finally explodes and all its contents come through your eyes. The dam that has been holding back the tears finally breaks. And you cry.

You talk to your husband about adoption, “we should try it tomorrow” you say “let’s go to a children’s home and find our baby” you plead. But he’s not ready for that. He’s holding onto hope and his hope, to you, beggar’s belief. You consider In Vitro Fertilization but you’d have to sell your plot in Githurai to be able to afford it because your insurance doesn’t cover it. Maybe it’s time to see a doctor. The doctor, when you see him, is efficient and gets to the point quickly. He’s just come into his office having delivered a baby; the miracle of birth is routine for him. He asks about your last period and how long you’ve been trying. He orders tests, blood work for you and sperm analysis for him. In the waiting room, are other couples, men with little containers in their hands, waiting their turn to go into the sperm collection room. They should call this room something else, like masturbatorium, huh, because everyone knows that’s what’s happening in there. His results come back and he’s passed, he’s doing better than great. You are relieved on the one hand because he’s ok. It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a man to grapple with the possibility of his infertility. Traditionally, conception has been viewed as a woman’s responsibility and women have therefore had a lot of practise in coping with the failure to conceive. And so you are happy that he doesn’t have to shoulder the shame that comes with sterility.

If it’s not him then it must be you, and oh sweetheart it is you. Your hormones, the doctor reveals, are imbalanced as a result of a condition called polycystic ovarian syndrome. Syndromes are not usually good, and this one is quite diabolical. There’s no quick fix for it, only management of symptoms. He prescribes something to regulate the hormones and to shrink the huge cyst that has been camping out in your ovaries. “Come back in a few weeks for review”, he says. That’s a lifetime away. You feel defeated as you ride silently in the car. You’ve been reading Chimamanda’s book ‘Half of A Yellow Sun’, where there’s a character in it just like you, a barren woman whose mother in law decides to intervene by getting her son so inebriated that he sleeps with the maid whom he instantly impregnates. She wants a grandchild you see, and will use any means to achieve that. Like what unholy hell is this?! You look over at your husband as he drives and wonder if he would dare. Nah! Your house help is older and not very attractive you console yourself.

The few weeks pass, you go back for your review. Finally some good news, the cyst is gone it’s time to start you on the next course of drugs. Something to jumpstart your ovulation and maximise your chances of conception. It’s a pill to be taken for five days at the same time every day if possible. He seems optimistic, your doc, he’s confident that your particular predicament is a run of the mill type of thing, totally fixable. As you walk out you notice his poster board filled with pictures of babies he’s delivered and you are hopeful for the first time in a long time.

It’s time to pee on the stick again. Your heart is about to leap out of your chest as you countdown with your timer. And when it goes off you dare not look but you do and there it is. You are pregnant! You want to call him right away and tell him the good news. You plan a surprise instead, while he’s in the shower that night, you tape the pregnancy test to the mirror and you go to bed feigning sleep. You hear him, he’s high-fiving himself, and he’s doing a victory dance. He’s beyond elated. That night you sleep arm in arm, both your hands on your belly and you know your lives will never be the same again. You apologise to God, for ending things the way you did.

Parenthood here you come…

194 Responses
  • Wema Ilukor
    13.12.2016

    The things we take for granted




    0
  • Ken
    13.12.2016

    You sound as if you’ve ever gone through it. It sounds so real.. I like the happy ending




    0
    • Bett
      15.01.2017

      Me too




      0
    • Emmy
      03.02.2017

      me too




      0
  • Noni
    13.12.2016

    For a minute there I was dreading to read the ending but yaaaay! Happy ending!




    0
    • That aksiretu
      13.12.2016

      Me too!!! Pheeeeeewww.




      0
    • njeriJ
      13.12.2016

      Right? I thought maybe it would be more bad news like a miscarriage




      0
    • Mercy
      13.12.2016

      Hee mee too. I am glad there was a happy ending. Loved the words in this piece. This is very relatable with most women. Those getting unplanned pregnancies, those after their careers, those with Mr. Right now and those with Mr. Right but and trying to conceive. Good piece




      0
  • PHILIP
    13.12.2016

    Nice piece,as always




    0
    • Megaga
      14.12.2016

      Wooow.. Thanks be to God. May you have beautiful adorable children as well




      0
  • Rael
    13.12.2016

    I can totally relate http://www.shesatomboy.net




    0
  • Wesh - Peter Wesh
    13.12.2016

    Where is the rest of the story Biko? I feel like i just read a passage between pages of a novel. A book called ‘The Travails of a Nairobi Woman’. And this would be perhaps after the chapter on ‘Building life after honeymoon’ and just before the chapter ‘Kids are nuts’. Good read though..




    0
    • That aksiretu
      13.12.2016

      I felt it was too short.. Summarized. Left me wondering was it a quick attempt at fiction or an overly subtle factual story of the struggle to be parents.




      0
    • @clif_the_tall
      13.12.2016

      Hahaha .




      0
    • bumble bee
      13.12.2016

      Hehehee. I think we read the rest on the other Sophia stories. Like the one where her mother in law thinks her and the husband hold hands in bed at night and that is how they made the baby




      0
    • P K
      13.12.2016

      Thank you for articulating my sentiments Wesh. Cliff wacha kucheka sana this might befall you.




      0
    • Mama Mboga
      13.12.2016

      ha ha…Why am I am already enjoying the ‘Kids are nuts’ chapter ?




      0
      • Mama Mboga
        13.12.2016

        ha ha…Why am I already enjoying the ‘Kids are nuts’ chapter ?




        0
    • Psoilo
      13.12.2016

      And right before that, there is the circumcision thing and dating. Opposing end




      0
  • Dove
    13.12.2016

    🙂




    0
  • marie becca
    13.12.2016

    Great post Biko.
    Your consistency makes me keep coming back. Another terrific Tuesday




    0
    • Asila Jr
      13.12.2016

      Please form a habit of knowing who the author is-it’s clearly not by Biko




      0
      • Faith
        14.12.2016

        Not Biko so true




        0
  • Munene
    13.12.2016

    a very nice piece here biko




    0
  • Kambura
    13.12.2016

    Parenthood … Such a blessing!




    0
  • That aksiretu
    13.12.2016

    The things as a young lady I take for granted.. I pray to never know the pain of trying to have a baby . I pray it just happens.
    Ion Biko, is this fact or fiction??




    0
  • Alice
    13.12.2016

    Very tempted to say, ‘first one here’
    I shan’t stoop that low though, all is well.
    seeing as I am already here I might as well say something worthwhile.
    I was honestly left wanting much more from the story. Give us more Biko, please and thank you.




    0
  • @clif_the_tall
    13.12.2016

    I know a couple who have been trying to get a baby for over 10 years now. It is emotionally draining to say the least. I hope they get one soon.

    The puns in this piece Hehe. At least it had a happy ending.




    0
    • Mr. Nduta
      13.12.2016

      Happy ending indeed!




      0
  • Birdizzo
    13.12.2016

    Children are gifts from God and arrive at the right time. I am strong believer of this and a parent too.




    0
  • Muindi Kimanzi
    13.12.2016

    Parenthood here you come…. (one day 🙂 )




    0
  • Miss.Kienyejiworld
    13.12.2016

    Now I need a novel from you, chocolate man!




    0
    • derrick
      13.12.2016

      THIS IS THE AUTHOR By Sophie Gitonga “Mama Pendo”




      0
  • Miriam
    13.12.2016

    I love these pieces that force us readers to view people we often disregard in a different light.




    0
  • Misco
    13.12.2016

    Great piece there. All is well that ends well!




    0
  • Wanoone
    13.12.2016

    Story of my life just without the happy ending……..




    0
    • christine
      13.12.2016

      May your happy ending come soon. Amen




      0
      • Gamsley
        13.12.2016

        Maybitbarrive soonest, #Godspeed




        0
    • Sheila
      13.12.2016

      Keep the faith….. I can relate.




      0
    • Rose
      14.12.2016

      Godspeed…




      0
  • Wairimu Mwangi
    13.12.2016

    It’s incredible how relatable this is for me currently. I am praying for a happy ending just like this one.




    0
    • Josiah
      13.12.2016

      Pole…God will bless you




      0
    • derrick
      13.12.2016

      i wish you all the very best




      0
    • Sharon
      13.12.2016

      May God grant you the desires of your heart.




      0
  • Muthoni
    13.12.2016

    I was waiting for a different ending lol. Unholy hell really?
    http://www.treatsonabudget.co.ke/




    0
  • salim
    13.12.2016

    Fast paced but I doubt the ending…too perfect beyond expectation! Kudos for the nerve to write about this emotionally draining topic…As for the “masturbatorium” …who is your father?




    0
  • Mark
    13.12.2016

    At least this has a happy ending.

    https://thispostisabout.wordpress.com




    0
  • Susan
    13.12.2016

    What a relief! And a happy ending, no tears no shivering this time round for me.




    0
  • Joy Mutuku
    13.12.2016

    Pheewwwww, a happy ending




    0
  • Its Marcel
    13.12.2016

    Quite a subtle approach for a remedy. The irrational ones would go bonkers after their incessant pleasurable maneuvers to craft a baby are thwarted. It gets worse for the man when it dawns on him the his hot beef injection doesn’t excite sperms into an ovulation marathon.




    0
  • MrsMwiti.com
    13.12.2016

    Thoroughly enjoyable read.

    “It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a man to grapple with the possibility of his infertility.” 🙂




    0
  • Ivaline
    13.12.2016

    First hand experience.the narration is totally on point. Believe me it’s all in God’s hands.




    0
  • P K
    13.12.2016

    J Biko there should be a sequel. For the ones where the doc doesn’t care that you are not married yet and insists that you remove your uterus but good old mama knows a medicine woman or 2 and voila you are cured of all those medical terms because you go back to the same doc to deliver your baby. The one who said let’s get rid of your womb because it is too diseased to work.




    0
  • Mercy
    13.12.2016

    Always awesome.
    thanks, Biko.




    0
  • Ben
    13.12.2016

    Mama Pendo. Mama Pendo. Thank you for this beautiful story. You’d have made it about 500 words longer. Sweet at the end.




    0
  • abdullah omar
    13.12.2016

    alhamdulillahi!




    0
  • Lauryn
    13.12.2016

    Sometimes it sounds so far fetched and unreal…..until it knocks at home! good piece Biko




    0
  • Dmm
    13.12.2016

    And that is life…
    Good ending to lift my spirit on a Monday Tuesday.




    0
  • Lydia Abiero
    13.12.2016

    Hongera Mama Pendo.




    0
  • QS Vosty
    13.12.2016

    A good read. Everyone at on point in their life has tried to bribe God.




    0
  • Vero
    13.12.2016

    Isn’t she the best guest writer here? Such a great read Sophie.




    0
    • Lil
      13.12.2016

      She is.




      0
  • Kimani
    13.12.2016

    I wish the crazy women in Nairobi who are using Crystal Meth (to tighten the ‘nini’) and strepsils (i don’t know if they seeking menthol/herbal sex), could read this. A good read as always




    0
  • Kevin Ochieng
    13.12.2016

    Great Read smh the things we take for granted




    0
  • The Rackster
    13.12.2016

    Two happy endings in this post. One at the actual end and the other one in the masturbatorium 😀




    0
    • derrick
      13.12.2016

      funny right?haha can relate




      0
  • Lovely read..must have been heart-rending going through the trying, the hoping, the praying and the waiting. I know a friend who was in a similar predicament.
    At the time, I ‘fell pregnant’ she thought it was because I normally take copious amounts of bitter lemon and fermented/sour uji..and shortly after, I observed her trying to force lemon drinks and sour porridge down her throat, to no avail.
    I wish Africans would be ‘more Western’ when it comes to this issue…if pregnancy is elusive don’t be afraid to a) adopt a little one wanting to have a loving home b) use a surrogate if the womb is damaged or has issues holding a baby to full term c) go to a sperm bank if hubby’s sperm count is too low d) go to an ovary bank if the other way round..etc.
    Everyone has a right to be happy and sometimes it’s necessary to view these issues with a critical mind and a little pragmatism..#mytwopence




    0
    • Amina said
      13.12.2016

      Very true but as the saying goes you can take a villager from the village but not the village from the villager, it will take forever trying to change people’s thinking




      0
  • Kevin
    13.12.2016

    You say the room should be called a what now? he he good one




    0
  • Wahito
    13.12.2016

    Lol his hoofed feet




    0
    • Riri
      13.12.2016

      I had to notice that one too, lol.




      0
  • Lumbzy
    13.12.2016

    Beautiful read. Can totally relate with the part where ‘you are busy taking your eggs to university and getting them all educated when they should have been making a baby’. It’s a tough life…wah!.




    0
  • irene
    13.12.2016

    thanks Biko, did it come from a true story? i know a number of friends who have gone through this




    0
  • naro nash
    13.12.2016

    hahaha,masturbatorium..




    0
  • Client
    13.12.2016

    The things some people take for granted. Wooow atleast there is a happy ending!




    0
  • Wairimu
    13.12.2016

    Great read.I know what it is like to have such a relationship with God.Also,fulfilling ending.




    0
  • Smoke
    13.12.2016

    Tough reality- but with a happy ending.




    0
  • Elsebanella
    13.12.2016

    I love the happy ending… A story many women would understand… The fear of a number too.




    0
  • margaret
    13.12.2016

    Happy ending. Woooo




    0
  • naomi
    13.12.2016

    Rolling my eyes……first time to read a boring article from Biko




    0
    • becks
      13.12.2016

      this is a real issue in the society and a woman is rolling her eyes.Anyway its by mama pendo not Biko.




      0
    • Lil
      13.12.2016

      It’s not by Biko.




      0
    • Njau
      13.12.2016

      Hopefully you have kids




      0
    • Pennymbili
      14.12.2016

      Boring article? Nyiet! I guess it may be boring coz you couldn’t even see who authored it. Pray, what do you read? This is excellent writing. I mean you missed all those puns and nail biting moments? Ama your comment was to elicit a hug or furore of comments to counter yours?




      0
    • James
      14.12.2016

      SOME women are special, here is a an article about whats probably going on with the women next door who is trying to have a baby, another woman here is rolling her eyes…what did you want to read about dear?..sex and orgies?




      0
      • Wanjiru
        19.12.2016

        Sex and orgies? haha!Seriously though, how can you be rolling your eyes when it’s such a big issue for so many women?




        0
  • becks
    13.12.2016

    just after i did a research for class project on infertility in women…i jUst hope i am fertile coz i still take my ovaries to school to get a degree.




    0
    • Sharon
      13.12.2016

      Hahahaha, tuko wengi.




      0
  • MRM
    13.12.2016

    Story of my life for the last few years …except no happy ending. That is the part everyone tries to gloss over.




    0
    • Mercy
      13.12.2016

      Your happy ending will come. Dont loose hope.




      0
  • Vick
    13.12.2016

    Awesome stuff as always Biko
    Heartfelt too




    0
  • Ariel
    13.12.2016

    very well written.




    0
  • Amina said
    13.12.2016

    U never cease to amaze me Biko it’s so real and so true most women are going through hell trying to conceive…am still teary.May God bless our wombs




    0
    • derrick
      13.12.2016

      By Sophie Gitonga “Mama Pendo” not biko Amina




      0
  • David
    13.12.2016

    I’m definately happy for you but don’t you think it’s unwise to thank god when we all know Science did it all?




    0
    • Ev
      13.12.2016

      Science does nothing but waste someone’s money…




      0
    • Sheila
      13.12.2016

      Why unwise…..that’s her belief….if you believe it’s science then that’s fine….no need to change her reality and experience to suit your thoughts….only the wearer knows where the show pinches….




      0
      • Sheila
        13.12.2016

        *shoe*




        0
    • Hilda
      13.12.2016

      Sorry, what?




      0
    • the honk
      14.12.2016

      I appreciate you’re iconoclastic with this God thingy, good for your free thinking thoughts. Stop it.




      0
    • the honk
      14.12.2016

      I appreciate you’re iconoclastic in this God thingy. Good for your free thinking thoughts. Can you stop it.




      0
    • Lolo
      15.12.2016

      Science had a beginning….and that beginning is the Alpha and Omega




      0
  • James
    13.12.2016

    Beautiful piece.




    0
  • Jeremy
    13.12.2016

    Mama pendo, do you have a blog?
    where can I find your articles




    0
  • Murgori
    13.12.2016

    I don’t know why you dropped the househelp story here.I feel like she has a bigger role that you are yet to introduce us to.




    0
  • Karwitha
    13.12.2016

    Now I’m here googling PCOS and symptoms so that I don’t end up in that predicament without being prepared for it. I have planned my life exactly like that lady, education, career then kids and all i can do is pray that these plans are in line with God’s will coz what else can you do?




    0
  • Anon
    13.12.2016

    I stopped reading when you mentioned Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) because I just found out I have it but the ending gave me hope.When my turn comes to have children I pray for an easy time.




    0
    • Sharon
      13.12.2016

      Sorry gal, I pray that you get your kids at the opportune time, fear not.




      0
  • Wambui
    13.12.2016

    Goosebumps.




    0
  • kanja
    13.12.2016

    quite long but worth the time and read.




    0
  • kanja
    13.12.2016

    getting pregnant is one thing, going through pregnancy to the end of nine months is another….there’s quite some story in between




    0
  • Esther
    13.12.2016

    You read my feelings but hoping for the best, many people will not understand until it happens to them.




    0
    • Ev
      13.12.2016

      True…. Its a very personal experience…Wishing you all the best..




      0
  • Lipesa Wanyonyi
    13.12.2016

    Hell in a very small place. Voluntas Dei, pax nostra (God’s will, our peace).




    0
  • Riri
    13.12.2016

    Beautiful read daktari. How we throw the big man out and embrace google when in ‘shit’!!




    0
  • Murugi
    13.12.2016

    Mr right now and Mr right part nice




    0
  • It’s hard, one must admit. Waiting drains life and hope out of you. You begin to doubt God. You begin to doubt yourself. I know a couple that has been waiting for more than ten years now. No matter how much they wear the mask of happiness, their sorrow is always obvious. Waiting is hard. Nice piece.

    Latest post on my blog:https://mikeinioluwa.wordpress.com/2016/12/13/waves/




    0
  • Carol Ohonde
    13.12.2016

    So true! Infertility is such a stigma in our culture with so much blame cast especially on the woman it is sad……..




    0
  • Posche
    13.12.2016

    The things I take for granted




    0
  • SalsaS88
    13.12.2016

    Interesting how we go through our teenage lives being told not to get pregnant. That if u even touch a boy, boom! U pregnant. Then when u want it, it’s oh so elusive. Happy ending though 🙂




    0
  • Lucy
    13.12.2016

    Parenthood indeed.




    0
  • Lynnah
    13.12.2016

    Good read.




    0
  • Mercy
    13.12.2016

    Loved this piece mama Pendo. Yaani I am not a parent yet but i can just visualize the drama of trying to get a baby through your words. Sometimes I envy my friends who got children in their twenties, then I remind myself we are all on different journeys. Kila mtu na Lane yake.




    0
  • liz
    13.12.2016

    nice read…




    0
  • MyRoots
    13.12.2016

    The gods did finally speak.




    0
  • Ev
    13.12.2016

    Wow!! A friend who knows what I have been going through sent me this… Still waiting for my happy ending…




    0
  • Mahugus
    13.12.2016

    A happy ending! Yes! Now where’s part 2?




    0
  • Lema
    13.12.2016

    As strange as it may sound,this has been the story of my life. Relieving my life word for word….Interesting, very interesting.




    0
  • IceBreaker
    13.12.2016

    It’s such a big hustle till God hears your prayers. The happy ending is all what matters.




    0
  • Tabu
    13.12.2016

    I can relate to this 100%. Tried everything from the natural way to IUI to IVF. I don’t regret going to school till the level I am at but one thing I wish I did was to freeze my eggs at the time when I thought about it. Also the ladies who are still building their career, be proactive and ask about your AMH test from your Gyna. It will help you make informed decisions.




    0
    • Ginger
      16.12.2016

      Before reading the comments I didn’t know such a test exists. I have learnt something important. Important because I have put off having kids to go back to school. Thank you for commenting. I will go for my AMH test.




      0
  • Joel
    13.12.2016

    Nice read




    0
  • Beryl Okado
    13.12.2016

    Amazing!




    0
  • Wambui
    14.12.2016

    Sophie Gitonga, I love your wits!




    0
  • Collins
    14.12.2016

    Forgive me Biko for i have sinned.Its been three weeks since i last read your blog.




    0
    • alice
      14.12.2016

      Hhaa! Collins, stop being too good a catho’ just because xmass is almost here with us.




      0
      • Collins
        14.12.2016

        Hahaha yeah i had to.Kwanza mulla is elusive this year so maybe the guy upstairs will be merciful




        0
  • Tesh
    14.12.2016

    I for one hoped that this piece wasn’t too fast paced.. smh but great ending




    0
  • Salim kim
    14.12.2016

    In Coast they say;°Uchungu wa mwanawe aijuaye mama°…As a son,i truly feel lucky to be in this world and will forever be greatful to my parents not knowing what they have been upto to get me in this wolrd…Mama Pendo…big ups…we love ur works.




    0
  • Jenni
    14.12.2016

    I went through this and my happy ending is an adopted daughter now going to fourth form.
    She is the most awesome gift in my life, no regrets.
    Oh, and hubby went off making babies with his first cousin!




    0
    • Jenny
      14.12.2016

      Waaah, pole for your experience.




      0
    • Jules
      01.02.2017

      Also went through the same thing, sans hubby. Took the adoption route, to the awesomest thing in my life!




      0
  • Tito
    14.12.2016

    An excellent piece. Some things apparently just shouldn’t be taken for granted




    0
  • the goose
    14.12.2016

    I appreciate you’re iconoclastic in this God thingy. Good for your free thinking thoughts. Can you stop it.




    0
  • Winnie Anyango
    14.12.2016

    ❤️




    0
  • Miss Nyambura
    14.12.2016

    Awesome piece.




    0
  • Mukami Kathambara
    14.12.2016

    Polycystic ovarian syndrome….. tell me about it! It was a nightmare for me too, but thanks to Dr. Ng’ayu I now have 3 kids 🙂




    0
  • Milly
    14.12.2016

    Things we take for granted, good read…lovely piece…




    0
  • Njeri
    14.12.2016

    I saw the photo and with the anticipation to just read i did not spot the author until i read these ” You give up smoking, drinking and gossiping. Because you believe quite strongly that sin is the reason your womb is silent. You make peace with your enemies and increase your tithe. And when your period shows up, like clockwork, with its unmistaken bright red flow, you lose God.” i scrolled back to check the author as i wondered if Biko evolved and started getting menses! lol




    0
    • Vero
      14.12.2016

      hahahahahaha




      0
  • Ouma Okeya
    14.12.2016

    A nice piece




    0
  • DanielMaina
    14.12.2016

    Be making an a appearance here once in a while mama pendo .I loved this piece.




    0
  • Annie
    14.12.2016

    Nice read…tena sana…Why am I afraid of part II?




    0
  • Gin
    14.12.2016

    The struggles that we women go through but God sees us through at the end of the day




    0
  • Sam
    14.12.2016

    That ending was kind of forced




    0
  • Manicjan
    14.12.2016

    At least it has a happy ending. I never knew of that condition, now I know.




    0
  • HRH
    14.12.2016

    Wish it was that simple. This PCOS. Much to my relief, my sham of a marriage ended and I’m now toying with the idea of not having children at all, notwithstanding the fact that my cycle is back to normal after the stress of a failing marriage was lifted off of me. I liked the happy ending. Mine was too, but in a different way altogether.




    0
  • Jacque
    14.12.2016

    Such a beautiful ending. I was diagnosed with PCOS last year after a couple of miscarriages.
    I am not on medication and I am glad one can have a great ending with treatment. Thanks Biko. Quite encouraged.




    0
  • Rita Mbae
    14.12.2016

    Hahaha chocolate man…. You said that room be called what again….

    Nice read anyway and I can totally relate




    0
  • Sarah
    14.12.2016

    Top of the list of causes of infertility is Satan…..




    0
  • Fred
    14.12.2016

    The name of that room again,,,, hehe,,, smh!




    0
  • Sandra
    14.12.2016

    I love how this story ends, am in the same dilemma and hoping for a happy ending like yours.




    0
    • Sheeqow
      14.12.2016

      Sandra, It sure will come.




      0
    • Wamalwa Eric Wamalwa
      19.12.2016

      I’m sorry Sandra, but it shall come true. God is the giver and knows the right time.
      You shall have the happy ending too.




      0
  • Jenny
    14.12.2016

    Great read Sophie. Nothing annoys me more than people who mock others because of their inability to have children. If it is easy for you, thank God coz God can cause infertility in a different area of your life. I am 33, yet to get babies, but I trust God all will be well. Nilipeleka mayai University, lol.




    0
  • Sir
    14.12.2016

    Hahaha .a lovable one.hope it won’t be like that in my life.




    0
  • Chas
    15.12.2016

    Where is the like button on this thing? The things we take for granted, mmh




    0
  • Inyaa Kimanzi
    15.12.2016

    Mama Pendo, did you visit Dr S. M.? Coz the poster board with pics of his “achievements” gives me hope. And your above described situation is my current reality. Including the diagnosis of PCOS & the 5 day pill. Waiting & praying for a Christmas miracle




    0
  • Bildad
    15.12.2016

    awakening!




    0
  • Kyengo "CK
    15.12.2016

    So my bed is basically a masturbatorium?! 🙂




    0
    • Wanjiru
      19.12.2016

      TMI.




      0
  • Mwangi Chege
    15.12.2016

    Thanks Mama Pendo for the great piece.
    From experience, a baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.




    0
    • Wandi
      20.12.2016

      True.




      0
  • Wangari
    15.12.2016

    Totally Relatable…. Quite an emotional rollercoaster




    0
  • Kay
    16.12.2016

    The things we do take for granted.been whining how much I hate being pregnant and wldnt do it again.BT after reading this am like..errr maybe I shld be effing greatful that I can be….I LOVE the happy ending.I also really LOVe your pieces Sophie.slowly loving them more than Biko’s(hides)




    0
  • alex
    17.12.2016

    …oh men, what a relief, i was hoping for the best in the end… but i am compelled to state that no woman out there, baren…. should ever consider themselves ”damaged”…




    0
  • karyah
    17.12.2016

    I can relate.It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a man to grapple with the possibility of his infertility.




    0
  • Dexterous
    17.12.2016

    I can relate with this, especially that despairing moment with God.
    Anyway the ending made me smile so ‘loudly’ i felt like an idiot. Great read mama pendo and congrats to the parents




    0
  • Erick
    18.12.2016

    Nice piece, good vocabularies and more so happy ending mood.




    0
  • ndindi
    19.12.2016

    N then there is this part where the doc tells you because of your polycystic condition you need to get pregnant ASAP n then you left wondering are you going to do some sort of self implantation or wat…… Ill




    0
  • Wamalwa Eric Wamalwa
    19.12.2016

    happy ending gives me the appetite of wanting to read more but it’s over.
    Very attractive but too short, like one paragraph. Need the rest of the story Biko.

    It sounds true story, maybe you experienced? Haha!!!….




    0
  • Wandi
    20.12.2016

    Wow Biko that was awesome.At first I was getting worried wondering how someone experiencing/who has experienced this would feel reading the article but thank God you finished with a bang.

    masturbatorium on the other hand got me cracking




    0
    • Simba
      05.01.2017

      … on the other hand …?! Hmmmm!




      0
  • wicky
    20.12.2016

    nice piece all credits to you




    0
  • weru
    22.12.2016

    This deserves nobel peace laureate …..




    0
  • TNgash
    22.12.2016

    What a lovely read. Reminds me not to take it for granted that I’m blessed with a beautiful baby girl.




    0
  • Patrick Ojil
    22.12.2016

    Eish !!!!! I once heard in church that everything comes at the ”fullness of God’s
    time” Indeed !




    0
  • margie
    23.12.2016

    Good topic




    0
  • KenPhisKI
    06.01.2017

    The appropriate length of time to keep your legs raised at the right angle before you can get up,,, hoping all aspiring moms are relating to this




    0
  • Akeyo
    09.01.2017

    The things we take for granted… Awesome read Sophie!




    0
  • Tas
    10.01.2017

    Sophie, Could you please share the contact/details of your doc? cud help many undergoing the same…thanks




    0
  • MARION
    11.01.2017

    well i had one unexpected pregnancy, except i knew about it the day i was scheduled for surgery because it was ectopic!
    Its one thing to be fertile and another to actually carry a pregnancy to term.




    0
  • czarshick
    16.01.2017

    This is the best story ive read here all year and there have been many but this stands out coz it brought tears to my eyes cause i can relate.




    0
  • Sue
    12.03.2017

    Amazing read. I got my first at 24 and it was an oohps. So now I’m at that point where I worry that my eggs are almost expired and there is no man in site so I’ve been negotiating with Jesus to bring me a husband so that we can salvage what’s left of my aging eggs. And if he won’t atleast perform the Sarah and Abraham miracle just one more time.




    0

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *