Confidence In A Cup

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I’m seated in the back office of a store at Two Rivers Mall and I’m talking to Wendy Karira about her breasts. This conversation wouldn’t have been odd at all had it not been sabbath. Because I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to talk about breasts on this day. She is particular on how she would like me to address them, because initially I was calling them boobs. She had said no, don’t call them boobs, call them breasts. I said, why do you get to call them boobs and I call them breasts and she laughed and said, “Because I have a special relationship with them, we are like girls. We share many private moments. It’s intimate for us.” Sigh. Fine. Breasts it is. She also tells me that you can have big breasts and not be a fat woman. But you can also be a fat woman and have small breasts. The word “fat” pings and zings off the walls of her office like a bullet looking for flesh to embed itself in. It’s an impolite word but she isn’t afraid to utter it because when she was forming as a woman she heard it all in reference to herself. People called her fat. But not only was she fat, she also has always had massive boobs….er…breasts, right from class 8 when she was, what, 13-years old?

She hands me a chart of bra cup sizes so that I see what she means. The chart goes from the smallest cup size, A, right down to the largest – KK. I recognise one that I know, DD, and not for any reason other than those things you know but you never quite know why and how. Just like you know that a group of flamingos is called a “flamboyance” but you can never remember why you get to keep this information in your head. Wendy is cup size 36K. That’s a size above the largest pair of breasts anyone can have. They are big, heavy and imposing and she has no choice but to carry them everywhere and the bad news is that she can’t check them in and pick them up at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam.

“When you have big boobs, it’s not the same as having a big bum,” she says. “There is a special kind of shame that seems to come with having big boobs. Men shame you. Women shame you. People think you must have eaten a lot to have big boobs.”

She knows the struggles of big breasts and it started early, as early as standard eight for her. It’s wearing the oversized tops. Wearing a tight tee-shirt underneath to squash them. Buying a smaller size of camisole to squeeze them. Big floaty sweaters. She carried shame on her chest. “I’ve never been a small girl,” she says. “The words ‘slim’ or ‘slender’ have never been used to describe me. [Chuckles] In my family we have the chubby gene. We are those guys who smell a burger and add weight,” she chortles. As a general rule I try not to laugh at chubby jokes but that’s funny and I laugh too. “We are four  sisters and all of us are chubby. I remember when growing up people would look at us and say, “Eish, lakini si you guys eat a lot?’ Imagine that’s not even how it works out. It has never been about food all the time, it’s about the genes.”

That, of course, came with self esteem issues in  her teenage years. She thought she was an ugly duckling. It didn’t help that her own mother would tell her that she was “dark and ugly.” She tells me of a time when she was a teenager that her mom found her looking at herself in the mirror and said, “What are you doing wasting time standing there, looking at yourself, you are dark and ugly. Stop standing there and go pick eggs from the pen.”

“You know how bad that sounds in Kikuyu?” she asks me. She says a few words in Kikuyu. I suspect that sounds bad in any language, really. “I laughed at her words but words like that stay with you and they stay deep. I also happened to have really bad hair. I have that kind of hair that grows in patches.”

“Like pubic hair,” I say and she laughs and says, “Yes, how do you come up with that?” And I mentioned to her that some time back, must have been one of the Movember months when men grow a beard to raise awareness of prostate cancer, I tried growing one and one of my friends asked me why I was growing pubic hair on my face, so I have never tried it again. [Bafflingly, I still keep that friend. Clear case of masochism].

And so in high school when her breasts really started growing she wasn’t too perturbed because her self-esteem was already so low at the time. She thought she was ugly and big, what could big breasts do to further ruin her? “I thought this was my script. That all the bad things would be coming to me, like I didn’t deserve beauty or see it in myself because all people saw was a dark, ugly, big chick with big boobs.”

“You are actually not that dark and you are certainly not ugly,” I say. “I mean, I am dark.” (That’s her in the picture up there, by the way, not me.)

“I know!” she says. “But when you are a teenager you believe anything people tell you, especially if that someone is your own mother. By the way, Lizzie -” she calls out to her younger sister who is seated at the till – “the other day I reminded Mom that she called me fat and ugly and she completely denied it, imagine that.”

“What did she say?” I ask.

“She said I should not let that devil in me out, haha…. and when I insisted she was ready to let me have it. My mom is that woman – tough, very tough, and intimidating, she will make you back up.”  At Kenya High, Wendy’s breasts got in the way. They had grown in such a way that they couldn’t let her participate in some sporting activities. Cross country was out of the question, for instance. That only left  swimming and boardgames. Her breasts became a fixture and she always tried to hide them to fit in. “You could say that my puberty was a life I led hiding my breasts. My puberty was one long secret.”

That’s not the only secret she was keeping. She also kept where they lived a secret. She would say that they lived in Banana when they actually lived on a farm in Tigoni, Limuru. They lived on a rambling 10 acre piece of land, in a six bedroom house with a breakfast room, a dining room and three chimneys. Their compound had big trees and rolling greenery like the ones you see on Teletubbies. They kept chicken and cows and goats and sheep and even horses at some point. They were farm girls. They worked on the farm. Whenever they came home her father would send the farm-hands away and all the work on the farm would be theirs. So they cleaned the pig sty. They slaughtered chicken and packed the parts. They herded cows. They knew the behaviour of cows and the temperament of goats. Wendy would look at a goat and know that it was preggers. The goat couldn’t even lie to her. She just knew. She could slaughter a chicken in record time and cut it up into the exact pieces needed. She could tell the sharpness or a knife by looking at it. Then she would sharpen it. They didn’t have running water, so they had to go down the slopes of a hill carrying a heavy water pump to pump water, and they all hated this chore. She drove a tractor. She could midwife a cow, which sometimes meant sticking her hand down it’s birth canal. They were not only girls, they were boys.

I don’t know what Kenya High was like, but this is something you never said you did during holidays. “Not with the posh girls from other parts of Nairobi,” she says. Not with the Lavington girls whose fathers were lawyers and doctors. “As a result you didn’t feel good enough, you always felt that others had got it better in life,” she says. “Now I hear people who say they want to buy a big piece of land and farm and I say, ‘Oh my God, there is no way in hell I’m going back to live on any farm. No thank you! I want to shower with chlorinated water, I don’t want to know why a cow won’t stop sneezing and I don’t want to ever wonder why the dogs won’t stop barking at night. Hapana.” We laugh.

“My mother had a food kiosk in the Community area of Upper Hill which they ran with Dad,” she continues. “It was a kibanda and sometimes she would say, ‘I want you girls to prepare 500 samosas,’ and we would do it and do it fast. We worked. We did what boys would struggle doing and I think such things prepare you for the future. I can get dirty.”

It helped or it didn’t help that living on the farm meant that they were secluded. It was just her and her two sisters. “The feeling of being big and big-breasted only became a thing when I interacted with other students during school days.” Her sisters and cows and goats and pigs and thankfully these animals never judge anyone. Well, not all. I think sheep are a bit judgmental, in my opinion. There is a way a sheep looks at you like it thinks it can do better than you, that it’s just a mistake that it was born a sheep, as if it can open a bottle of soda with its teeth. Of course guys from Loresho would think this odd, because where do they see sheep apart from the lamb chops on their dinner plates?

I think this is also the point that I let you, dear readers (sounds like Reader’s Digest), know that I’m wearing a bra. One of the conditions Wendy asked for in the interview was for me to wear prosthetic breasts held in a bra for the whole duration of the interview so that I “know what it feels like to be a very big breasted woman.”  The prosthetic breasts are her size, 36K. Her breasts are four kilograms in total. That’s two kilograms a pop. (No pun, I swear). How does it feel to carry four kilograms in a bra? Well, for starters my back is already killing me and I’m only 25 minutes into the interview. The strap is slicing into my t-shirt. Because I don’t know what to do with them sometimes I unconsciously end up sort of rubbing them, like you would Aladdin’s lamp, as I tell her, “So tell me about the part of high school, again.”

My children are in the store across- Leo Salon – where Tamms is waiting for  Kim as he gets a haircut. At some point they will come back and find me in that room wearing big breasts and a bra and I will tell Tamms, “This is an experiment, I think I look good, don’t I look good?” and she will grimace and say no, and Kim will at some point come and casually lean on my breasts by placing his elbow on them. I don’t know how this scenario has ruined my children, I can only wait for about ten years to see the damage.

Wendy’s self-esteem suffers. She ignored boys. She was made to believe that boys go for a certain profile, so she didn’t bother. She finished high school but didn’t do well because she didn’t expect much of herself. “It’s amazing how the way you view yourself, especially with regard to your body, affects how you do things and what you expect of yourself.”

Her mother was furious at her dismal results. She asked her how she could get a C-plus when she could clearly tell that they were not wealthy, that they were struggling? She told her that she should take a secretarial course and get a job as a secretary, “Hopefully the boss will marry you,” she said. “You know, I think my mom was going through some stuff during this period. I don’t know what, but I think there was something happening with her. I think she would tell me I’m ugly so that it deters me from getting interested in boys and although it was successful, it also ruined my confidence.”

She wanted to study law, but of course couldn’t get into uni with those grades, so her father paid for her to do a paralegal course at SPS which was afterwards renamed Inoorero College (it means a sharpening thing, apparently). There she started dating cautiously. “When you start dating you realise that your self-esteem and confidence is so low that in a relationship you keep doing the heavy work; you are the one who calls and you are the one who suggests dates, the man just sits back because he feels like he’s doing you a favour. The bad thing is that you don’t see it. You feel like your options are so limited and looking back I feel so sad knowing what I know now, you know?”

One day during an internship her pal tells her that there is a cute guy she would like to introduce her to. So they go and they find the cute guy and he has a bit of an attitude, he doesn’t say anything to her, he just sits there, acting hot, working on a computer and ignoring Wendy.  Wendy is pissed, and so when she is leaving she walks up to his desk, writes her phone number on a piece of paper and tells him, “When you stop feeling hot and you feel like talking to someone, call me.” Two months later their landline rings (Millenials are thinking; what is that? Is this a typo?) and she picks and a guy says, “Hi, is this Wendy?”

“Yeah?”

“This is Waweru.”

“Who?”

“Waweru.”

“Which Waweru?!”

Waweru catches feelings. “Kwani how many strangers do you give your phone number to?”

“Hold up, I don’t know you, which Waweru is this, if you don’t say who you are I’m hanging up!” Now irritated, perhaps because he had practiced a smooth opening gambit which she had now ruined he says, “ You wrote your phone number on a piece of paper and asked me to call you!”

“Ohhhh!” She laughs. “It was a joke. You were not meant to call! Ngai! Ha-ha.”

Well, Waweru eventually laughed last because he ended up marrying her. At 21-years. (Waweru is that guy who starts early). But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Their first was at Dancing Spoon, that restaurant at 20th Century. She got there late and Waweru gave her lip about time management and she was like, “Dude, do you know I had to take two mats to get here. I’m from Tigoni!”

“Kwani where was he from?” I ask Wendy.

“Loresho.” She laughs. “Which farm had he been to? By the way in school it was only the girls from Loresho who were allowed to read Romeo and Juliet out loud because they had better diction and accents.”

“That’s bull,” I say, adjusting my breasts. When you wear the wrong bra you breasts keep moving, I’m discovering.

When she graduated from SPS it’s Waweru who showed up for graduation because her mom said she wouldn’t close her kiosk for a diploma. And when she asked her mom for money to do a degree she asked, “How many samosas do you think I will sell for you to do a degree?” And so it’s Waweru who paid for her degree.

“This guy was earning like 10K at that time,” she says of Waweru,” “I think he used to take loans for me. Aki I have never paid him.”

“Chicks don’t pay you back.”

She laughs. “No, we don’t.”

When she was 20 she ran away from home and started life sharing a room with a girl in South B and learned the art of floral arrangement from a hawker in Westlands where she would go every day at 6am. Then she opened her own flower business in 1998 and did it until 2003. In between, she would stop uni to give birth. I ask if they ever discussed her body issues with her husband at the beginning, what did he think?

“It has never really been a thing, imagine. I think he’s a boob guy,” she says. “By the way Biko, how does this work, are boob guys just boob guys or can they also be bum guys?”

I laugh say, “Hang on, let me adjust my bra strap, it’s pressing my heart….” She laughs as I adjust my boobs. God, they are too much work.

“Most boob guys are not bum guys and vice versa. But you can also be a bum guy be a boob guy. It boils down to personal preference really, not a science. Just like some men like slender women, some curvy women, some like light-skinned women, others dark women, some like women with short hair, others long hair.”

She nods. “And what are you?”

“Oh, I’m a bum guy. But it’s not by choice. I suspect it’s geographic, this thing, because where I come from most of us are bum guys. Something in that water.”

Ha-ha-ha.

“Waweru is a boob guy, for sure,” she says.

“Of course he is. A guy with a name like Waweru can only be a boob guy. That and a guy called Kinyua. I just can’t see a Ndirangu being a boobs guy to be honest.”

Ha-ha-ha.

She has five kids; 20, 17, 15, 9 and 5 years old. It’s only when she had her third child that she realised that her breasts were there to stay. She would go to Gikomba to find bras that fit because nobody catered for her size. She would either get hand-me downs or send someone who travelled abroad. She got into formal employment; worked for NIC Bank, for Stanchart (Diva account) and then she got into retail – Deacons – where she worked for three years as GM before she was let go. She was distraught.

“Employment is so comfortable and so deceptive. Having a salary is very comforting, and all of a sudden I didn’t have one. Now, there are these bras I used to buy in Gikomba called Tango and I remember when I was at Deacons we couldn’t get my size and so I emailed the company called Panache that makes them and they sent a catalogue and that story died. Long after I had been let go by Deacons a gentleman called Lee Newsome emails me from the company and I tell him I left but I can refer you to someone at Deacons and he asks me, ‘Are you the one who needs these bras or is it them?’ and I tell him, “Well, I don’t have the money to start a bra business blah blah blah…” and he says, ‘Listen, businesses are not started by money, they are started by a need.’ He asks, ‘Have you been to the UK?” I say, ‘No.” He says, ‘Do this, come and see what we do here and what we have and if for nothing else, we will give you a few free samples for yourself. So I told my Waweru that I was going to the UK and he says, “You are going where? Si you just got retrenched?” I tell him about Lee and he says, “I’m coming with you.” So we went and did a bra training session with this big brand. Now Waweru knows all about bras, he can tell if you are wearing a bad bra.”

Hmm, I wonder how one can use that superpower, I think to myself.

Back from the UK, she sits on the idea for a while, still whining about losing her job. She remembers the feeling of wearing a bra at Panache and thinking, “This is how every woman should feel!” So when Two Rivers Mall was getting interested tenants she pitched the idea even though she didn’t have capital and she was stumped when they agreed to give her a shop on the first floor. So she calls Waweru and says, “I got a shop at Two Rivers Mall” and he’s like “A shop? What shop?” and she says “I’m starting that bra business,” and he’s like, “What, Wendy! How can you commit to a shop when you don’t have money? Where will you borrow the capital from?” and she says, “From you.”

“I will pay him every last cent,” she says.

“Of course, you will,” I mumble.

She laughs.

“You don’t believe I will pay?”

“No, I don’t. You won’t pay back.”

She says, laughing, “But I have given him children!”

I roll my eyes.

My Curves Lingerie Store opened on the ground floor of Two Rivers Mall. The first tenants before  They sell all manner of bras for women of all sizes and shapes, women who love their bodies and their curves. They also have swimwear and sportswear. “A good bra is very important as you can tell because you are wearing a bad bra.” She tells me. “A good bra, especially when you are bustier, other than make your girls/boobs look good can alleviate back and shoulder pain and improve your posture. It’s important for confidence, posture and comfort.”

Don’t I know. I can’t imagine doing anything with these heavy breasts. Even typing an email might be a problem, I suspect. Or running with them. I’ve only had  them for slightly over an hour and I’m already feeling dizzy. “You don’t know how important a good bra is until you wear the wrong bra. I have women who come and fit a bra and throw theirs in the bin immediately.” She says.

Wendy would never have seen herself selling lingerie in a million years. It’s amazing that her business sprung from something that she was most insecure about. She doesn’t only see it as a shop that sells bras and lingerie; she’s selling confidence in a cup. She says, “My experiences with body issues and big boobs has also helped me be a more sensitive motherhood. Because now I know that words have great weight and what we tell our children will affect them. We need to affirm our children. Positive words build them.” Then she adds. “I know how my mom must sound to you now, but imagine from her I have learned the virtue of hard work. She is in the States now. I told her that I opened a bra/ lingerie shop and she was like, ‘Ate bra?’ Ha-ha. She doesn’t think this is a real business. She believes that one has to exert themselves physically, do crazy hours, make 500 samosas. My mom owns working hard, getting it done come what may, and my experience as a teenager has turned me into a worker. I don’t mind going hard.”

Her daughter who is 15-years old now is a size 32G. She tells her that she has to work with what she has. They are hers. And she has to handle them with confidence. “Girls always wander in here to shop with their mothers, girls with big boobs, and I immediately see myself in them – I see how they slouch because they are instinctively trying to hide their boobs. I see the ones with confidence issues already and I tell their mothers, ‘Let me have a word with her,’ and so we come in here and I talk to them.”

“What do you tell them?”

“Everything I have told my daughter. I tell them about confidence, that they have to accept themselves for who they are. They are unique in their own way, and that if they wear the right bra, they will be fine. That they should always stand up straight, that having big or small breasts is not an issue.”

In October Wendy will be going to girls’ schools under a program called My Body My Victory, with one of her suppliers. They will talk to them about body positivity and also talk about bras and fit some. They will be told that regardless of your body you can make something of yourself. That you shouldn’t place a premium on your looks or your size. That you are special. But first you have to believe it before someone else does.

Well, what I believe I should be doing now is to finish this interview and get off these damned breasts. I try to unclasp the damned bra but I can’t seem to be able do it, which is ironic because as a man I sometimes unclasp a bra with one hand and in one fluid motion. It’s a rare talent. Wendy helps me remove it. I hear women saying how they can never wait to get home to remove their bras and I could never wrap my head around that but having those 4kgs breasts off me, my God, that was freedom. I breathed better. I felt better. My back didn’t hurt.

Wendy said that a good bra “doesn’t make you want to remove your bra in traffic at the end of the day. A good bra makes you less angry at the end of the day.”

That made sense. If you are a man and you are reading this and thinking, “Ah, this story is about bras, not for me. Well, turns out it is when your woman suffers a lousy bra the whole day and comes home and is always in such a bad mood and you are thinking, ‘can I ever do anything right in your eyes?”

It’s the bra, stupid.

PS:  It’s the birthday of one of my editors here. Happy birthday to Linda Were! Guys, please if you find a typo just hush for today at least, we don’t want Linda feeling some type of way on her birthday, do we?

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156 Comments
    1. Aye HAPPY BIRTHDAY LINDA

      Lakiniiiii…. if Biko has multiple editors why do we have a random, unfinished sentence hanging in here… no one caught this?
      “My Curves Lingerie Store opened on the ground floor of Two Rivers Mall. The first tenants before They sell all manner of bras for women of all sizes and shapes, women who love their bodies and their curves.”

      Jussaying.

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    2. The day I meet Wendy at an event I was left wondering “How could I know so little about something that I have been carrying for the last 20 years(yeah it took me that long to see even a pimple grow in that area they called boobs”) I didn’t know there is so much to a Bra. Wearing the right bra is a science and every woman should take that class
      I am one of her biggest fan. Am sooo happy about the school program, it’s the little things that we think don’t matter that matter

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    3. Happy Birthday wishes to Linda
      I am a boob guy myself… This was a very relatable story. Waweru is my kinda guy we might share a few staring moments and just discuss boobs… The whole time.
      Of course, she will NOT pay. That’s the trade for marriage… You promise but its always about the intention rather than the payback. I feel you Waweru
      I want to be trained in this kaboob thing, maybe it will help with my game just a lil bit. Not a perv though. Just out of curiosity. I’ll visit the shop and see.

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  1. As a member of the itty bitty titty committee, I always wanted big boobs… The really big I-can’t-even-wear-a-button-down-blouse kind.

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    1. As a fellow member of the itty-bitty-titty committee, I feel you 100%. And I wonder why mother nature plays such cruel jokes on us. Self esteem issues from large breasts on one side, self esteem issues from tiny breasts on the other side. Some people can’t get a bra that fits properly, I can’t fill up a bra period. I’m obsessed with breasts, I try to accept what I have while staring with envy at the bodacious bounty others have been blessed with, wondering when I’ll be able to afford a boob job…

      Wendy’s mum is pure evil. I’m sorry. I know we’re told not to judge but anyone who cuts down their child so ruthlessly and completely, over and over again, is evil. No matter what her story is.

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      1. You just need a massage from a boob guy… Hehe
        They will grow out. Also, the moment you get a kid… The breasts will grow so large you gonna be smiling everyday. That I’ve seen.

  2. I never knew a flamboyance is a group of flamingos…
    Yes finally someone talked about body shaming,
    and what our mothers say…oh cow! they don’t know how much impact they leave on us…

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  3. Happy birthday Linda!

    I don’t know what I expected when I saw ‘confidence in a cup’ but it was definitely not a post on breasts and bras. I am from a large demographic of men (enough to fit into say three counties standing shoulder to shoulder) who see bras in shops like Wendy’s, know there are bra sizes (I know double D too haha) but only see them as things that get in the way (you know). So to say the least, I know more now than I did about an hour ago.

    And what Wendy is doing with school children is great. It means a world to these young people to fan their flame of confidence. Bless her.

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    1. This is the Most intresting read for me. The entreprenuership bit is brought out so well that i can read it again n again. Inspirational!

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  4. Haha.. I once went to buy my then girlfriend a bra and didn’t know her size so i checked out the other customers and figured out the size.. From the number of kids i take it its from the belief that one should not say the exact numbe..

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  5. That you shouldn’t place a premium on your looks or your size. That you are special. But first you have to believe it before someone else does.-WORD!

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  6. Wow! I am a 42 DD myself and I keep telling my friends that if I was super rich I would get a breast reduction done.
    Now the right sizes of bras is working for me and others just great.

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  7. I can relate to this story having big breast myself but just as she said with the right bra confidence just goes up and it is good how she relates with her clients because some ladies who sell bras cannot help you and give you a stink eye for having big boobs.
    To all the ladies with big boobs just a random fact 5 out of 10men love big boobs. So give the ladies a good outfit,walk with confidence. You have no idea the magic they can do

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  8. This blog to most of us is what a good bra is to breasts, Always providing the needed support. Yes? Great read.
    Biko, during mothers day next year we shall revisit this storo of you wearing prosthetic breasts held in a bra.

    Happy birthday Linda Were. Enjoy your day.

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    1. Dude! hehe. I see what you did there. Where had you gone to? Are the beards in your profile pic real or are they mwitu? Asking for a friend.

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  9. A solution to many women’s problem is finally here.
    Thanks for the enlightenment Biko.
    Orders are coming Wendy!

    Happy birthday Linda Were.

    Is that the same Were of Marjorie’s Coming to birth?

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  10. I’m totally relating to this post but on the flip side…i’m a small-ish woman with big boobs. Buying bras is a sport on its own when you have big boobs. The mamas selling bras will always tell you ‘iyo itakutoshea’ only for you to wear it and find that it only covers your nipples. Sigh! Good job Wendy

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  11. Great read. I am also among them that always wanted big boobs, well, breasts but God in His sovereignty decided otherwise. Anyway small boobs or not, confidence in a cup.

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  12. I love her initiative. Talking to those girls will sure help. I remember Woolworths once came to our high school and offered free size measuring to find out what cup size one is. It educated us and meant a lot to us at that point.
    Kudos to her!

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  13. I need to visit Wendy’s shop, my bras are really a pain and i am nowhere near the big boobs sizes but i just can’t seem to find the right bras. I enjoyed reading the journey of a woman whose had to deal with it all when it comes to esteem and body perception and the how she turned her insecurity into a strength (business)

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  14. I totally relate with Wendy’s story. My big breasts (36GG) hid my confidence throughout my teenage life. This was mostly in high school and my early years in campus. I tell my friends that I didn’t go through the small cups phase and they are shocked….I wore the wrong bras and my backaches were becoming a nightmare. I finally got a good black bra recently and I can’t let go of it. LOL
    Sadly though plus-size bras are usually so expensive, not many people can afford them. Mtumba becomes the only option available yet rarely do you find one that fits perfectly.

    I love how she uses her business to inspire young girls to be confident in their cups. Bravo Wendy!

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  15. Just like you know that a group of flamingos is called a “flamboyance” but you can never remember why you get to keep this information in your head…….didnt know this but great read especially on that words have great weight and what we tell our children will affect them. We need to affirm our children. Positive words build them.” ……will definitely visit the shop!

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  16. Words are very powerful,,,,,especially to small kids, my little girl is on the big side but shes knows she is daddy’s MBG(Most Beautiful Girl)…I always see how she lights up whenever I call her out using those three letters….and she always say them in full as if to ‘remind’ me what they stand for..

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  17. The other day I was reading how some dude’s sexuality has been ruined by their relationship with the women in their lives when they were younger (Mothers, sister, aunties, and family friends). I remember one who said he was always made to give head (quoted just in case…) even when the female in question was on period. He tasted blood. Dude was messed. I am thinking about Kim. 20 or so years down the line he will be making progress with this girl. and just when things are about to get better, he will remember his dad, now an old man wearing a bra at Two Rivers. And his head will droop.

    I that sheep Wendy was talking about. The judgemental one. I grew with it. It haunts my dreams when I have a fever. Those days I wake up feeling like I have an anchor tied to my neck. Drowning me.

    Happy birthday to Linda. And cheers Biko. To confidence in a cup. Even though I thought I thought it was a story about a “Cheers baba guy” who drives a VW. Yeah, I don’t know where that came from either.

  18. Nothing is more relaxing than removing the bra at the end of the day,
    I loved Wendy’s confidence through all that,from her own mother ?Dammmnnn
    I would like to see that photo you wearing the bra…..hahahaha
    Happy bday Linda…..Have a blast and cheers to many more

  19. Growing up, I always thought I had such massive boobs….er…breasts 😉
    Looking back, I wonder why I even worried about the size of my breasts.
    Nice read packed with emotions.
    Kudos Wendy, glad your boobs….oops, breasts did not get in your way.

    Happy Birthday Linda

  20. We are those guys who smell a burger and add weight..yeah its not us its, the burgers..haha

    I agree with her on how words really affect children when growing up especially if they are coming from the parents..

    I love how she turned her story and now she is an inspiration to young girls with body issues…#ConfidenceInACup Woooooow..

    1
  21. That’s Wendy winning. Sprouting from a den of despair and reaching a point where you have taken charge and can extract lessons from you life to educate others. That is true triumph.

    Inspiring as it is educative.

    1
  22. “PS: It’s the birthday of one of my editors here. Happy birthday to Linda Were! Guys, please if you find a typo just hush for today at least, we don’t want Linda feeling some type of way on her birthday, do we?”… some TYPO way, it was right there Biko. Happy Birthday to her

    5
  23. Lovely read Biko as always. True, words have lifelong effect on us, our kids – chose them carefully. On typos … Movember is a month from which calendar? 🙂 HBD Linda!

  24. I now know what gift I will give to my wife this year. Thanks for this amazing read Biko, and happy birthday to Linda!

    ION; How about a photo of you in the bras? You can hide your forehead. We just need to see the boobs….sorry…eh..breasts!

    3
  25. Thanks Biko, Thanks Wendy. The greatest thing I have ever done to myself is to sacrifice me good bras after I had suffered low self esteem as a result of my big breasts. It just changes you. I now feel so proud of my breasts, I love them full and big!

    1
  26. Firstly, Happy Birthday Linda. Lastly… I fall in this category of heavy frontals so I identify with the story; as I was reading it, I was just affirming everything you wrote because i’ve live it. Luckily, my mom never let me slouch even once.

    2
  27. Yes! My curves saved me from further hurting my boobs while working out. Panache rocks! 32HH and proud

    Of course fair warning is, a good bra is an investment so be ready to part with a few coins but 1000% worth it

    1
  28. Lovely piece as always, Biko. However, please clarify here → “She has four kids; 20, 17, 15, 9 and 5 years old”. Aw,aw…my bad, Linda’s gonna be mad haha….Happy birthday Linda.

  29. I can vouch for her store. It’s a god-send for us that need SUPPORT. The service is great and the prices are fair considering how much it costs to buy the right bra. I highly recommend it. Busty women, do yourselves a favour and invest in the right bra. It truly makes all the difference.

    3
  30. Thanks for highlighting the big-breasts issue. Mine took a while to show up, and it bothered me so much that I adopted this weird walking style with my chest pushed out, shoulders back. Then at a party, some girl made a late entrance, walking down the stairs with her boob’s jiggling, OMG, she looked like Cinderella! I’ll never forget the envy I felt. Then I got to 16 and they ballooned like overnight! Now I wish I could have them reduced, just a little 🙁

    2
  31. So I’ve been pushing my girlfriend to try out reading BIKO for a while because I think he’s an awesome writer, and of all the days she happened to read this blog for the first time today and I received a rather confrontational text about how I’m pushing her to read about breasts… particularly big bursts was what she said as she happens to have a small burst… and I was like you’ve got to be kidding me… so rushed here, read the post, and I’m currently in a small desperate way trying to “explain” myself that this was about confidence.. Gee thanks Biko… heheh Women #smh

    10
  32. I went to Wendy’s shop and found out I’ve been wearing the wrong bra thanks to a popular store that claims to be experts at finding the right size.. Anyway, we figured out my size but it was out of stock 🙁
    But the friends who took me to the shop sing their praises and I have seen the bras they got from that shop, definitely go get your bras there.

    2
  33. Encouraging story however it is sad the things parents tell their children. Wendy is beautiful , kudos for sharing this awesome story.

  34. I was once an A… the smallest A cup 32. My 2 kids took me through B and finally C. Could my 3rd get me to D. But a good bra is like having a soul sister. Even us small boobed girls have issues with bras. How much worse then is it with big boobed girls.
    And just like that from your discomfort you started a business. Wow. Am inspired

    2
  35. Wow, do I just love your writing style. This story is impactful.

    Happiest birthday Linda Were

    I pray to join Biko’s master class one day.

  36. lovely article. Thanks Biko. Happy birthday to Linda, i excuse her for the number of children Wendy has. If she has a 20 year old, then 17, 15,9 and 5year olds, those are five kids not four!!

  37. Biko was so uncomfortable in that bra that he forgot to count. Ages 20, 17, 15, 9 and 5 equals five children and not four as he has stated. Most importantly, this post is very informative.

    2
  38. First, her parent’s home is exactly what I hope to call my home some day. Great piece and I wish there was a way we could help Wendy reach more young girls, such an inspiration.

    1
  39. When my Daughter was barely two weeks old, Someone told me, ”aki Shiko, huaibiki Kutoa hiyo yote mbele ya watu? Waa na sii ni mzigoo, sii siku moja utafunika mtoto mapua nayo!” woooi, I was shattered. my heart broke into pieces. PPTD Struck in. Lost around 20 Kgs within two months…
    But it came to pass!
    Love yourself so well, such that when someone treats you badly, you notice it!

    Happiest Birthday Linda!

    4
        1. The bras at the My Curves Lingerie Store at Two rivers Mall range from Kes 3,900/= to Kes 5,900/=
          There are also bras on sale from Kes 800/= although there are limited sizes available

  40. Wow! An inspiring story from Wendy, that thing of parents telling their children negative things is so traumatizing. We should always learn to speak positive words to others. Again, Wendy thank you for inspiring the girl child. In a world where perfection is celebrated, most girls are insecure about their bodies.

    1
  41. This article is a mirror in the water. The image only comes to life after the water has calmed. I feel sad and happy at the same time. Sad that Wendy had to go through the gates of Gehenna and happy that she finally went through the gates of heaven. Some of us have been brought up with abusive parents who would rip your heart, self-esteem, and confidence in a span of just 3 words. Words which as Wendy says, you’ll have to live with. Mark these words, “My experiences with body issues and big boobs has also helped me be a more sensitive motherhood. Because now I know that words have great weight and what we tell our children will affect them. We need to affirm our children. Positive words build them.”

    2
  42. And here I have always wanted big bobbies. Always wearing padded bras so that they appear bigger. Each girl with their own insecurities.

  43. Wendy forgot to add while in Kenya high school she could swim faster than a fish. Breasts never stopped her from doing Breaststrokes

    3
  44. Reading through this i see the challenges of growing up in an african household, one where parents believe bashing you down with words will bring out the best in you while the opposite is true. I love that her experience has made her a better parent for her kids. kudos to the school initiative its going to save alot of lives.

    1
  45. Every girl should get fitted for the right bra. it changes your life. I went to woolworths and got fitted. i had been wearing a 36B for the longest time turns out i was a 32DD. when i got the right bra i no longer wanted to remove my bra the first thing when i get home.Now its just to school our men on our size!My husband got me a bunch of lingerie on a whim.ALL the bras fit wrong. to make it worse the lady who sold them to him felt she knew more about my size than i did!!i had to explain to her constantly that i know my size but she just cldnt admit she did not have the size i wanted. so now am left with a bunch of beautiful bras that i cant wear!!!aaargh!

  46. I have never psoted a comment here,today I had to….are we going to overlook the fact that Waweru(Wendy’s husband) is such a hero!!!!!big up yourself Waweru!!!Wendy is amazing too…cuppy confidence!

    6
  47. ….this story is just me in so many ways
    I always wanted a reduction, and my esteem still suffers today.
    Thanks for sharing Wendy. I’ll drop by your shop.
    I’m a 34 DDD

  48. Confidence in a cup. Who would have thought its an article about bras and breasts?! Bras are generally uncomfortable. Even us with tu-pimples in form of breasts can’t wait to get home and remove them. Nice read as always and Happy Birthday Linda.

    1
  49. it’s interesting how one always admire what they don’t have , have always admired ladies with Big boobs coz am a Bumpy one …but with big Bums have never had any challenges with weight coz they r part of u …always carrying them wherever i go …..N sometimes my friends always ask if i feel the weight carrying them around ….

  50. I should pay them a visit. I keep buying the wrong sizes . And bras aren’t cheap! Also I can’t imagine her struggles being a size 36DD and I still worry that I have large breasts. I envy small boob girls. Nice read Biko and happy birthday Linda.

  51. “It’s amazing how the way you view yourself, especially with regard to your body, affects how you do things and what you expect of yourself.” This is so true. Low confidence seeps into all aspects of your life. I speak from experience.

  52. My kid sister has big breast, and she has embraced them however my other older sister keep telling her she must be having a medical issue/ she needs to go forbreast reduction……
    I will bring her to Wendy’s one day just to reaffirm her confidence

  53. I don’t see her breasts as big as she says but I’m glad she found comfort in some cups, let’s say that guy lee connected her to comfort and God knows what, now a hope to our sisters who are yet to find confidence in cups. I’ve had my friends complaining of their bras and removing them on their way home or back office when I hardly remember to be wearing one.

    Happy birthday Linda Were, candles are not for millennials at least blow a trumpet or something lovelier.. cheers!!!

    1
  54. Thank you for addressing this issue of big-breasts and bras Biko. I find bra shopping very frustrating since big sized bras are hard to find and if you are lucky enough to find one you will have to part with quite an amount of money for am ugly looking black or beige bra. I especially hate the beige bras, honestly speaking, to the manufacturers you can’t keep producing beige bras, at least even try working with the colours of the rainbow, they are 7!!

    2
  55. This is so amazing. I love everything you write, you make writing seem so easy, I love the inspiration, the flow . May God keep blessing you.

  56. I love your work Biko.
    This is a great story, one of significant impact. Please keep highlighting such matters of concerns and get people talking.

  57. Wow! Wendy is a star and Waweru the perfect star thrower!

    My Body My Victory sounds like a great initiate for young girls…all the best to her.

  58. Bra and big boobs!!!!.. the struggle is so real….i have struggled for long..since form 2 when my boobs grew from zero to you know where!…low self esteem when makangas call me “fresian” (leta maziwa tunywe).. had those big size t-shirts.. dressed as a tomboy during ca,pus life (baggy jeans, t-shirts and timberlands) snoop dog style. Till one day when i decided I have had enough and tried tops and dresses..wow! I am beautiful!..
    My struggle still is where i can get a fitting bra.. I am a small size (size 8) but my bra size is slightly larger that DD with waist of 32 (yes getting a 32DD is hard!!!)…i fit in 20 bras at a second hand shop only to get one which i have to give a tailor for adjustments… SMH!!!… i need to visit this shop at two rivers..
    Biko can you hook me up with Wendy?

    2
    1. Yes…and the way those cows have huuuge udder…I couldn’t date, and hated boys… (that was then)..and when someone asks you if you have a kid (uko na motto, haujawahi kwa haha pregnant?).. yet you haven’t had even a guy to that extend.damn!…smh..
      My college make fees called me dashboard….took me a year to know it was me..
      Now am proud of my boots.. .

  59. I salute Waweru for supporting and believing in in Wendy even when it did not make sense! We need more men like him in our society! Go Wendy! And a happy birthday to Linda Were

  60. What a compelling story and what a beautiful woman Wendy. That part of you wearing boobies had me in stitches, yani your kids saw you wearing them? Oh the things we do for passion, keep going. Happy belated birthday to the editor.

  61. Happy belated birthday Linda!

    Not sure of m expectation of the title ‘Confidence in a Cup’ but it was definitely not a post/content on breasts and bras.

    Speaking on behalf, i see bras in shops like Wendy’s, know there are bra sizes but only see them as things that get in the way,So to say the least, I know more now than I did about an hour ago.

    And what Wendy is doing,project with school children is great. It means a world to these young people to fan their flame of confidence. Bless her.

    Biko’s work is just amazing!!!

  62. Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! What an inspiration to many women. I like the way you turned your unfortunate job loss to a business that impacts on lives and is also your passion.
    You are interesting too. Very. Haki your mum… hhmmm…. she is special!

    I will visit your store soon. Clearly I haven’t got my size right all this decades. will bring my heap i dump them in the dustbin.

    Biko, am visualizing you in boobs. Gai! whoever thought of that idea…kudos.

  63. I was reading this story and going ‘same!!! ‘ after every sentence. I’m 22 and I have a similar breast size, 36K and for years I did think I was ugly cause of them. Especially when your bum isn’t as big… It makes you think you are less pretty and whatnot. But learning to love myself was amazing and I found someone who loved me for me. He honestly says he loves me more just for my boobs. On another note, I had been looking for bras my size for years until My Curves opened up. She is a lifesaver and an unspoken hero.

  64. i have a feeling being your editor is fun or funny,whatever…
    You are a very funny guy Biko
    I’ll go to Wendy’s when i start getting a pay cheque. Soon i hope. This has given me some sort of confidence not necessarily in the boob area but i now feel better

  65. Happy birthday Linda. I don’t care about the typos. You made me smile and i laughed aloud reading this while in a que in a hospital. Wendy well done. We did the flowers with you and I agree you are a hard working person. I saw you, never the boobs and your are beautiful inside and outside. All the best in your business.