Cry child, cry

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Aga Khan Hospital’s third floor, which houses the maternity unit, is a truly haunted wing. Ironically, although this section of the hospital is where life is conceived, it’s also the part of the hospital that is defined by such torture and pain. A place defined by such unbridled horror, one which is borne from most the unlikely of places; the womb. But also quite often death lurks along those corridors as well, trying on unlocked doors, looking for a room in which it can cast its evil.

And it’s within those walls that my little angel – Tamisha Biko – was borne exactly three years and one week ago today.

The reason why I’m writing this is because she joined school last Monday, a day before her birthday and like any dad will tell you that surely invariably has to go up the wall of fame. This piece is largely about her. I hope when she grows up she will read this and feel slightly embarrassed, but mostly pride. But there is a good chance I will be in jail when she is old enough to comprehend the magnitude of the feelings that soak this piece. I will be in jail because some teenage rat with a diamond stud hanging from his ear pressed my gate buzzer to ask for her. And I fed the little eejit a slug for his ill manners.

***

A room. White walls. A bed. On the bed is a grumpy and preggies lady, 9months into it, the homestretch. The preggies lady is the missus; heavy like a barge, moody like a lone buffalo. And then there is me; father in waiting, clueless and pressed (didn’t know where the johns were and because I’m a man, didn’t want to ask). It’s just clocked 10pm. It’s a nippy night. It’s early in the year of 2008 and the post elections violence still lingers like a bad kiss. The country is still bruised; you can tell from the vulnerability and apprehension in the eyes of the nurses.

But babies have to be born. Life has to move on. The expected date of delivery had passed over a week ago and the missus is tired and sick and no, she doesn’t want the damned oxygen tank, she wants the baby OUT.

I wanted to write three strong paragraphs on the brutality of labour. On the sheer evil that abounds labour pains. But I’m not worthy and my words would be insufficient. Labour is a phenomenon that men shouldn’t be allowed a commentary. It’s a horrid, ruthless, macabre pain that closely borders on the insane. The blood curdling screams that accompany it are drawn out and they thunder down the deserted corridors of the maternity ward, leaving an eerie echo in its wake. Labour is indescribable. Yes Jean, labour is nasty so go ahead and get preggies.

The Missus started having her labor pains at 10pm, by midnight I was ready to jump off the window and to my death. That whole hoopla they tell men in those classes about rubbing the small of her back is a sham. It doesn’t work; it was devised to stop men from leaving their laboring women to nip out for a smoke. At 4am she had gotten into a zone which I couldn’t follow her in; a zone bereft of neither grace nor inhibition. For the first time that night, I was scared….a bit.

At 6.30am her waters broke. They wheeled her in the theater to push. I wore those ridiculous theater gabs and a mask and followed her in lugging a camera and some smelling salts in case I passed out. The doctor was young. Young doctors make me restless. The midwives were much much older and that is always a consolation. As they prepped her up, the doctor turned to me and smiled reassuringly, “First time, eh?”

“First for her, fifth for me.” I said, he looked a bit puzzled.

“It’s a joke.” I sighed. Doctors!

Chin to chest, push! The doctor cried. She pushed. Chin to chest, push! She pushed. I’m ready with my camera. Chin to chest, push! The baby seems adamant to come out and I suspect it’s because she had already heard, over the grapevine, about the election violence. You wouldn’t blame her.

“She is crowning, I can see the head, anytime now!” the doctor said to me.

“Yeah right, you said that ten minutes ago!”I said and a nurse giggled. Finally some sense of humor!

On 11th Jan 2008, at 7.03am my little girl is born; 3.55kg and at 49cms in height. Here is the thing, I read how men recount crying after watching their babies born. I didn’t cry. I felt numb, mesmerized and spaced out. Most importantly I felt a rebirth going on within me. Watching the birth of your baby is quiet poignant and deeply humbling. Spiritual even. I urge every guy out there to start by making a woman preggies…yes, even you Pride. But I remember thinking that my baby looked strange, like a cast in a Star Trek movie. She didn’t look pretty at all and I almost told the doctor, “Er, I think you got the wrong baby, why you don’t you go back in and get the right kid out doc?”

And here is the thing, and I say this with a lot of love; infants are ugly when they are born. Their heads look like someone with a real big bum sat on them, their eyes are puffed out like they are nursing a hangie, and their skin peel off. I never saw an infant so beautiful I wanted to steal. I think in my life I have seen only two infants who I would have described as beautiful, one in Kampala and one back here. And I’ve seen many babies. But for their entire strange looks, babies have the most adorable small feet and fingers. Given a choice to watch Sakata (and I think those kids can dance) and look at an infant’s little toes and fingers whole day, I would choose the latter.

 

Babies also bring out the pretentiousness of people, of women to be precise. Women who come to visit the new mother in a hospital always coo breathlessly “Aww, she is sooo adorable, she is sooo beautiful!” Really? On the contrary men normally just show up to look at the baby to confirm the baby is not Indian or white then they shake your hand and mumble their congratulations and offer to get you wasted after. None of that fib on how hot the baby looks. A whole bunch of the misuses pals showed up at the hospital within a few hours of the baby’s arrival and you should have heard them go “Aww, she is so pretty!” And in my head I was thinking, “Aw come on, isn’t it too early to expose the baby to lies?”

Some even said, “Biko, she looks just like you.” and I wanted to laugh. Laugh because she was only 5hours old for chrissake, she could have looked like Zach Galifianakis or anyone else out there. Here is a mchongwano I heard on TV. “Ati vile ullizaliwa ullikuwa m’ugly mpaka incubator yako iliwekwa tint usishtuwa watoto wengine.” Hehehe…I found that too funny.

The formula for fatherhood has changed. At least with us,

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the generation X you are in this generation if you can hum to a Shaba Ranks song). But our parenting skills are somehow informed by our childhood, or how we were fathered, innit? My old man, for instance, was a disciplinarian, a bookish kinda guy. He was literally the head of the house in statue and all, the buck stopped with him…or rather that’s what my mom made him believe. Hehehe.

My old man did many things right with us, many many things, but what he never did was to be our friend. Do you think that’s got anything to do with why I constantly have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee? Any psychologists out there? Anyway there was no for being friends with that guy, his standards were too high, his expectations unmoving. Fatherhood was a monarchy. But he wasn’t hostile; he was just too civil, too proper and officious. I would have loved him to crack jokes. You never got the urge to walk up to him and say, “Dad, there is this chick I met.” Oh no, he would have asked, “Was she a character in a book you are reading?”

Fatherhood back then was about command, about leadership. We obeyed implicitly and we didn’t even think of disobedience because he was 6’2’’ and well built. The first time my dad hugged me was when I graduated from campus. I was already a grown-ass man. It was very touching but it was also awkward. Now we do the shoulder thing because now we are men, at least he sees me as one.

And so I try re-define fatherhood for my daughter. I hug her constantly. I kiss her (sometimes amidst her protests) constantly. I tell her I love her daily. I touch her. I tell her she is gorgeous and even at that age you can tell her she loves to hear this. Women! I, like a whole bunch of guys out there, are trying to be more than fathers, we are trying to be dads. For me fatherhood is marked by a lot of insecurities; am I there enough? If I am is my presence helping in her positive adjustments? Am I good father? Who is a good father? Should I have not raised my voice? If I dropped dead today, will she ever have a recollection of me? Does she really love me? How much? Do you think it’s more than she loves the mom? Well, I sure as hell hope so! Hehe. But yes, you will never meet a more insecure father than me.

Last Monday we took Tamms to school. She looked dapper in her school uniform. Every kid at school was crying that day, crying for their mommas. Picture a roomful of mournful and howling children, it sounded like a funeral in Nyanza. Now, the missus is insanely attached to her and I knew she would cry after leaving her with total strangers for the first time since she was born. I was so sure she would cry.

So we get to school and Tamms starts crying after seeing all those kids cry. And when the time comes to hand her over to the teacher her mom does it in one swift motion and quickly turns on her heels and walks out of the door leaving the poor child bawling and kicking (brutal love of a mother she called it). I stand there, stunned, caught between staying for a little longer or follow her. Watching her cry like that touched me in ways that I won’t describe because my word count here is over. A tennis ball crawled to my throat. Tears stung at my eyes. I swear if I would blinked just once, I was going to tear, so I walked out like a fish; unblinking. Hell, I wasn’t going to be “the dad who cried louder than his daughter on the first day.”

I realize that my little girl’s life has now started and she will continue to cry. She will cry when she is betrayed. She will cry when she meets a boy she likes and who will break her heart. She will cry when nothing will seem to work in her life. She will cry when she realizes she made the wrong choices. She will cry when she is happy and joyous. She will cry when she misses a promotion. She will cry when she loves a man who doesn’t love her the way she wants to be loved. She will cry at her wedding, but not as hard as she will cry when I kick out one of her rubbish boyfriends from my house. But I pray she understands that quite often you have to cry in order to smile.

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126 Comments
  1. I’m no parent, so all i can say is, enjoy fatherhood, bring her up to be the very best she can be as an individual and not to give too much power to the mirror…

  2. Biko, this piece, i could read again and again and again. This is such a timeless piece. Have u written any books yet?

      1. Write one Biko. I am an omnivorous reader, and I would give you three thumbs if I had them. An acute sense of humor is a rare gift. If anything, you have my insignificant nod. One question: who are your influences?

  3. I am assuming that is Tamisha in the pictures and would like to say she is beautiful. Mmebarikiwa sana.

    The post was a lovely tribute to her.

    Absolutely agree that labour is beastly work.

    Before I go, I would like to put in a request for a post… seeing that I think you are such a brilliant writer.. .
    Do think about doing a post on parenting ala our parent’s generation. You touched on it a little bit in this post. How our parents did so many things right as you put it but just seem to have totally missed it on the emotional and touchy front oh things. hope that makes sense

  4. Its about time!!! been refreshing this page since 8.00 in the AM.thanks dude…quite a piece u have there…..quite touching and so damn true…Men need to know its not about providing only..its about an emotional connection with their daughters..lets kill all these daddy issues

  5. “First for her, fifth for me.” This got me teary eyed…out of laughter.

    You wrote so sweetly about your daughter.

    I remember a piece you wrote in ‘Last Word’ when she was born. Still cracks me up.

    “One day when she’s a teenager she’s going to come home and tell me she ‘likes’ a boy. Then I’ll ask why. And then her eyes will light up and she’ll tell me “He’s so funny dad!” Then I’ll excuse myself to go and throw up…

    1. “One day when she’s a teenager she’s going to come home and tell me she ‘likes’ a boy. Then I’ll ask why. And then her eyes will light up and she’ll tell me “He’s so funny dad!” Then I’ll excuse myself to go and throw up…

      I did not read that piece but I have totally cracked up from just reading what you put here! Must find that one!!

  6. Biko, good read I must say. Reminds me of how I felt when my daugter started school, did what you stopped yourself from doing…. I wept like a little girl…

  7. @Ben I agree with you. Even if my favorite whisky is in there I will not go in, pay me I will not attempt to go in…. two kids later.

  8. wassup Biko,hows it?oh man i had planned to give you something,to take her but you were in a hurry n i forgot but presents and gifts are always accepted even if they are late …..listen man,sights and sounds of a child birth are horrific ,i don’t understand how you manged to withstand that…a maternity is not a man place…i think if i attempted to get in there ,i will experience the same feeling i will feel when i get in the kitchen….its an awesome read.

  9. First day at work and am laughing out so loudly. My boss kinda thought am stonned, until i gave him the piece to read….

    Great piece and a timeless one Biko! Tammy should read this when she is old enough to understand it. All she will say is “Tammy alikuwa anapenda kulia kulia……..”

  10. “Picture a roomful of mournful and howling children, it sounded like a funeral in Nyanza.”<<<< LMAO

    Good post,I enjoyed..

  11. I have never been a mad fan of kids…my terror nephew has not helped in changing my mind.But if bringing forth life is as pseudo-magical as u just made it sound,well…maybe one day i’ll think about thinking about doing it:) Pretty baby up there bytheway

  12. She’s a really pretty girl. You come off as pretty macho, but since you’re not afraid to write so tenderly and honestly about your little girl, she’s lucky to have you for a dad. A girl needs a man who isn’t afraid to show his soft side once in a while.

  13. Biko!!! My words fail me…. One of the best posts I have ever read, so touching and moving!!! All the best as you strive to be a dad!!

  14. sniff sniff, are there paternal instincts? coz you’ve just awakened them with this post! Beautiful, makes me look forward to being a father someday

  15. That gal is so a female version of Jackson Biko….Pretty good looking like you and am hoping she is smart and witty like you too.

  16. I was not going to try get married…atleast not soon, let alone fathering a Tam-like jem until I read your piece! I want to be a daddy that my father never was…!!

  17. Zach Galifianakis, so who is this dude. Wala am out of here, “it’s your fifth” okay. I think generation z hippies will have a hard time wid ya.

  18. i had a serious case of the monday blues!!but this . . . this was the ultimate remedy for that!!
    ” Er, I think you got the wrong baby, why you don’t you go back in and get the right kid out doc”
    beautiful, touching,funny . . . awesome!!!

  19. @ Biggie that is soo sweet. Are you and Biko brothers? Both of you are such a huge turn -on….am single and beautiful and I have a sister too. 😉

  20. Well said. especially the all cute comments from the ladies thats an honest assment.
    Brave of you to go to the delivery room, not that I’m chicken but its so aweful to be faced with a painful situation you can’t fix.
    Don’t look forward to the first day of school.

  21. “…infants are ugly when they are born. Their heads look like someone with a real big bum sat on them, they eyes are puffed out like they are nursing a hangie, and their skin peel off. I never saw an infant so beautiful I wanted to steal.”…I bet Tammy will hate you for this when she grows up and reads this post.

    Beautiful piece Biko…as always.

  22. Aaaw Biko this so deep I didn’t even want to laugh at the funny bits. Its true babies aren’t really cute a few hours after birth but one just has to say some things.
    Mine made 2 on Jan 14th, strangely 7.05pm the exact time she was borne found us at another hospital only this time she was the one with a cannula in her hand. Happy be-lated one to lil Tamms.

  23. I’m not being pretentious when I say that Tamms is pretty.

    Lovely post Biko. It has just made my morning and awakened desires of having a pretty little girl of my own. 🙂

  24. This is a beautifully written post. I’m not a parent but it reminds me of my dad whom I lost about a decade ago and the many great moments we shared. Happy Birthday to Tamms!! I wish you both a great journey together filled with awesome daddy-daughter moments :o)

  25. It’s instinctive for a woman to find a baby beautiful, we can’t help it. So those compliments on the first day were probably not lies.

    I enjöyed this.

  26. this is just lovely…i was caught laughing and crying at the same time,,,could explain myself just let them read the piece now we are in unison…..am now worried of how i will react when i take my lil gal to school in April….i bet i will be louder than her

  27. a very real piece, parenthood is a gift that too many take for granted and too few appreciate when some never get the chance to expirience it.. tressure it if you’ve got the chance.. Tammy is a lucky girl!

  28. Wow,.i hv bn followin ur posts 4 a while,bt today i hd 2 coment.ths piece is so beautiful.n if u can be so honest and deep abt ur feelings 4 her ur def on the rgt track no nd 2 b insecure 🙂

  29. I hope she is the one on the pics…such a beauty… you sure need to prepare yourself for Jail early…

    Interesting piece…you just do not know how to disappoint!!

  30. dude,if thats ur daughter,give those maasais an order for the following custom made weapons(target,teenage boys):-a nyahunyo,a club,a spear and a shield(for urself,incase some of them are more skilled than u )….
    great piece!daddies,and their daughters!

  31. Dude you killed me! You had me laughing out loud like a mad woman 🙂 Congrats for going through with the labor experience and for taking her to school on her first day. Many many children are going to be raised well by involved daddies because of men like you who are willing to try to do it different and better (and because of this post, judging from some of these comments 😉 )

    PS: This post was impecably timed because on the same day, a man abandoned his wife for giving birth to only daughters. Men like you are going to erase this flawed thinking. ALL children are important n should be loved as such.

  32. Oh Sir……of tears and teary smiles. This has taken me back to my visit to that chamber of horrors. How you cannot see how beautiful newborns are I don’t know??? I’m so not looking forward to taking my lil princess to school next year.

    Tamms is beautiful……arm yourself and put money aside for her and the Missus coz jail time beckons. My dad once pulled out a “nyahunyo” on a diamond-studded teenager who was leaning heavily on our doorbell. Tamms’ in good hands.

    Well in Sir.

  33. Very moving; a challenge for men to step up and be real fathers;Fatherhood is not only biology, its also spiritual, its time men stepped up to the plate and provided cover, values&direction to your children.Your presence or lack of it will determine how the next generation turns out.You hold the key to the future in your loins, heart, words, actions and character

  34. ok..I’ve stalked you long enough-time to come out of the closet!!! I have read every single one of these blogs( but never posted a comment)!! You are a genius!!

  35. ** The Missus started having her labor pains at 10pm, by midnight I was ready to jump off the window and to my death. That whole hoopla they tell men in those classes about rubbing the small of her back is a sham. It doesn ’t work; it was devised to stop men from leaving their laboring women to nip out for a smoke. At 4am she had gotten into a zone which I couldn ’t follow her in; a zone bereft of neither grace nor inhibition. For the first time that night, I was scared ….a bit. **

    what would kill me, and most men, is watching ur missus in excruciating agony knowing there is nothing you can do to alleviate the pain. But when my kid comes in some years, i will stick it out with her and hopefully not go insane.
    A good read biko. Congrats 4 being the man.

  36. I’m on my way to work trying to discreetly wipe the tears that have totally betrayed my sura ya kazi! This is your best piece ever J. Made me miss Ming from my usual prison break every morning. Xoxo to Tams! Such a big girl =)

  37. You have a sweet looking kid man! and I can relate to the awkwardness of hugging your old man as a grown man. It’s both warm and weird.

  38. Beautiful piece, got me singing along to R. Kelly’s “I wish, I wish, I wish….”

    I’m Officially on Baby patrol now, mara dat dat!

  39. Biko, this piece is fabulous man! I have three kids myself and i can tell you that i never even dared to get into theater, you strong!

    You might not remember me but we were in high school together, but we shared the same house, I was in Bowers 1 and you Bowers 2. I went by the names Tim macharia, or Timo mandevu. You probably wouldn’t remember me because I joined when you were finishing fourth. Anyways I had writen to you before after reading you in the newspaper but you never replied, you must receive many letters.

    I’m so glad you still kickin and writing so well, now am going around telling everyone that we schooled together.Holler at an old boy bro, my email address is up there. peace!

  40. Biko,ur writing is amazing n funny…….always looking forward to it…..beautiful kid u have there, seriously……

  41. “quite often you have to cry in order to smile.” al always rem that.

    I’ll try and say this with all the love i’ve got and try not to sound bitter with parent issues. Life is soooo bloody unfair! Your daughter is soooo lucky to have a dad who loves her as much as you do.(or seem to) Am sure you have your flaws, but at least you seem to be willing to do all you can for her. I, on the other hand, got served a very raw deal. Didn’t exactly come from the ideal nuclear family. Nowhere close!!!! I think i’ll stop here coz i think al gv so much away. Anyhoo, when i c families get together with the father, mother and children…i always ask why??? that’s my one beef with God. Why????? or visiting days kids bn visited with both paros. Arrrggghhhh, u know what, its too painful to even think abt it. its the life i got. not much i cn do abt it. But am happy for ur daughter. Sooo happy! And the missus seems lucky! And am happy for you too. cheers!

    @Janice, ati nini?! ur single and beautiful and u have a sister too???? hehehehe. at least u’ve lightened up my mood. nyce!!

  42. honestly beautiful and magnificent piece Biko.I could go over it again and again…. Your definitely going to make a great daddy!

  43. @Wechy yes am very single 30 years young, 5 feet 9 inches tall, good weight and good complexion 😉 Biko knows and we can all have a party this weekend 🙂

  44. Those looks come from the mother not big forehead biko 🙂

    Congratulations you two on this achievement! More to Anne…..

    You should have told me that what you were dealing with when I was pestering you, still need feedback on my request.

  45. Biko you make good looking babies is what I can echo 😉 she is so you maybe not the hair, but she is as beautiful and charismatic as you.

  46. @ Janice, with that sort of confidence, i’m having a hard time figuring out why you’re still single. Any reason u’d like to share? Lakini mami, don’t despair, you’ll find “thee one” when you’re meant to. 🙂

  47. @Wechy,I’ve been single for the last six months when I ended my four year relationship out of boredom and my ex had no clue on how to ignite me. ;-( Biko can hook you up with me, by any chance if you are tall(very), dark and engaging(all the traits biko posses) then we can have the party at my place 🙂

  48. Very interesting!!!! Over to you biko 😉 and have a grand weekend! Can’t wait for your post on monday, missing you already 😉

  49. My son is a day younger than your daughter, and i also walked away(more like ran) when i took him to school. It hurts but you cant sit in class with them or hold their hand for a lifetime.

    Lovely piece, as always.

  50. @ Anita, I concur with you on the long wait for the monday posting. Sir Biko I envy you, are you Mr popular or what? I also write not as well as you, I will polish and up my game it if it will get me all this……… damn

  51. Biko, this is shallow. But it had a few good parts, e.g. the last paragraph. And exactly what is the Missus’s role? Baby factory?.,……since this is a piece on birthing, surely u cant appreciate the birth without the baby momma, or can you?

    “Fifth for me, first for her.” a joke. In the background of a maternity ward? Boy didn’t u outdo yourself or what?

  52. I read this amidst tears n smiles, very touching…. Thats a cute gal u got there, this post takes me back to that horror room abt 11/2yrs ago, i’d say the reward is worth the trouble, how lucky Tammy is to hv a loving father like you and a strong mum(. And when the time comes to hand her over to the teacher her mom does it in one swift motion and quickly turns on her heels and walks out of the door leaving the poor child bawling and kicking (brutal love of a mother she called it)….
    Ps: am not looking forward to taking my gal to school, i know i’ll be the mum who cried louder than the daughter…

  53. Just stumbled upon this blog. Beautiful! Currently very expectant and cant wait to hold my “ugly” baby in my arms. Sweet.

  54. That one the way she is pretty, you just invest in some German shepherds, a reliable security company (not G4S of course), a rungu and the most menacing look you can muster!

  55. … kudos man … its all I can say, nothing beats to see your child all grown and ready for school after what seems as a very short period of nanas and such its a fulfilled feeling

  56. @Midas, I bet you are smart I believe you know that….was just checking… 🙂 Crushing on him as he’s all man….

  57. I remember labour..one 16hour hellish experience for me..n I know babies look like aliens haha,they start gettin cute after 3weeks.. Mine is 2 now (the dramatic terrible two’s) .. Very nice, imma blog about mine 😉

  58. I am a new mom, and I’ve never thought of labor in that way till now, It has never been something i could laugh about. Seeing it from your point, You cracked me up! And my baby was beautiful even as a new born! Good read.

  59. this is the first time ive managed to finish reading(never watched) a post on childbirth. i visualise too much-and always too painfull…
    great post though

  60. Am late on this but no Biko, women dont pretend when they say…”aaww, she is soo pretty” on day zero. I felt aaww…so adorable…when the doctor placed him in my arms around 5 minutes after he was born. And i feel the same for my friends babies. No pretence….honestly.

  61. You are blessed!

    Blessed is your baby girl too….when she grows up, she’s gonna thank you for this post 🙂

  62. This is my first day of reading your blog and i have been here for a while!!loving ur work.Please write a book or something.

  63. @ Janice, sorry i’m sticking my nose in ur business but allow me to say u sound needy, desperate and pubescent!u said u are 30???U seem to blame the world for all ur problems.. ‘and my ex had no clue on how to ignite me.’.what did u do to ignite him?..u are not 18 anymore, u should know expectations breed disappointments!.. ‘Biko can hook you up with me, by any chance if you are tall(very), dark and engaging(all the traits biko posses) then we can have the party at my place’…i don’t know why u sound so phony, and again sorry, i don’t mean to be judgementalYou just make me soo sad, i think u need a few lessons on diplomacy and feminity.Well, enough said!!! @ Wechy, u sure can lead someone on, damn it!!!

  64. Love it. You are spot on about infants not been cute; when the nurse handed me my daughter (exactly one year after your daughter was born and in Agha Khan), I thought ‘what the hell?!’ But I have never told anyone that coz they would think am a bad mother he he. You are also spot on about women being pretentious. So I’ll now stop saying people’s babies are cute unless I mean it:)

    ION, I have been reading your past blogs over the last couple of weeks. And somehow the older posts sound more interesting…like you put more effort and energy in them. But maybe its just me. Please write a book (I think a short stories compilation would suit you well)

  65. Hi biko? I’ve spent the better part of today reading your fatherhood category i even postponed laundry day to tomorow because of your stories 🙂 I have finally finished and although I had heard about your through the Jadudi story today I’m glad I got to read your other posts continously without having to wait(however long it takes you to post a new story) like your regular readers. But I catch up quick. [sidebar] I love the last paragraph of this post especially I feel like it almost made u cry when writing it…almost hehe

    P.s you definately have one more reader in me. May God bless you with more inspiration for this blog and wisdom on your fatherly duties to Tamms and Sam

  66. You have taken some of those words right out of my mouth! Everytime I tell my friends that the first time I saw my baby I thought ‘what is that?’. Now he a handsome young man, but when he was placed on my chest seconds after delivery all I could think of was ‘wow, hope he will look better after a scrub’!

  67. This piece is so heartfelt a depiction of true love in its truest form….nothing like daddy’s love.Tamms knows it Biko

  68. Now…..I havr no idea why I read the whole piece with Johnstone Mwakazi’s voice in my head the whole time….#hihi…..seriously.Nice one Bikko

  69. But newborns ÀRE beautiful. Not in the classic sense but they are. The beauty of new life and innocence. I for one am not being pretentious when I say babies are beautiful.

  70. I recently became a mom.My daughter is about 6weeks now.Her name is Ari.It means- Lioness of God although we first named her ari because her father loves trance & the violin this violinist from Israel plays soooooo well, her last name is ari but we had to find out if the name had better meaning in order to avoid looong explanations to in-laws & grandparents & the rest of the generation A,why we chose the name.}I love this piece.like the many others you’ve written & I’m still reading. I hope Ari grows up to read this too.I even wish I could delay my leave so that I wouldn’t have to leave her alone with the nanny in March.Its going to be teary for me too.two months to go & I feel the tears coming already. Its hard to let go.even for a day.Love this piece.

  71. This piece is special… It brought back memories of when my child was born. I still remember that delivery room and the names of both mid wives ( are men also considered mid wives?).. I agree there reaches a point when words can’t express what women go through during delivery.. And even more accurate is the description of new borns… At first sight I thought mine looked abit like an alien.. Thank God for the reassuring words of Colllins an attendant nurse at Aga Khan who together with Regina conducted the delivery successfully and made me believe his head would shrink into proper shape… Being a parent is really something. This will be one of those timeless pieces on this blog ( it’s 5 yrs and it’s still moving hearts)

  72. I will be in jail because some teenage rat with a diamond stud hanging from his ear pressed my gate buzzer to ask for her. And I fed the little eejit a slug for his ill manners.
    ***… Thank God my boy is much younger,it won’t be him at ur door

  73. “the dad who cried louder than his daughter on the first day.”
    I got to pee first
    The piece was written in 2011 and I’m laughing in 2016, where was I all that time lol