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God and Children

All you want at 19 years is biceps. I never had any lofty ambitions, nothing burning and unsettling in sleep, just muscles. All my life’s efforts and aspirations whittled down towards growing big biceps. So we all joined gyms with the shameless hope of, not competing in a bodybuilding pageant, but lighting wicked and illicit desires in the hearts of girls. This was back in 2000 before mobile phones came into gyms, making them social media content of the city’s narcissistic troves. In fact, back in 2000 mobile phones weighed the same as dumbells. With two phones you could do a Fly exercise for the chest.

I joined a gym and worked out dutifully every morning. Okay, most mornings. The gym was a small makeshift sweathouse in the backyard of a house belonging to a former pugilist, a robust man who walked bent like ramapithecus and would come to the gym and bellow, “Stroooooong!” when you were struggling to complete your bench press. The gym was ratty and threadbare as most gyms in the estates were. The equipment consisted of old, heavy car parts and all manner of metallic items welded together to form weights, bars and machines. It was cheap, you paid 50 bob a day or 1K a month, or something ridiculous like that. There were no bathrooms, showers, water dispensers or racks for keeping weights. There were no trainers in matching sports gears. Mirrors were cracked and stained. All around were old pictures of these bulky and ripped iron-heads – Mr Universe, Mr World, Mr Kenya, Mr Nakuru – who growled at us from the walls. They played loud rap music from a massive speaker – Tupac mostly, because Biggie never lifted no weights. The biggest person in the room controlled the music stereo and the kind of music that was played, which meant the likes of us never had a dream of touching that stereo. There were two doors, the entrance from a back alley and one leading into the kitchen of the pugilist. The gym was small and stuffy and smelled of men. Notably, there was never a single female member. The rare woman who would come always accompanied her man, sitting silently in the corner, a flower amidst the debris of men and sweat. On those days, all the men would double their weights. I’m surprised nobody ever died.

It’s in this meleé of testosterone that I met Guy*. [Not his real name, obviously]

I actually thought he was a bit of an ass at the beginning. He had an air. A snootiness. He carried himself like he was better than everybody else and never spoke to anyone. He would come and train, listening to his own music on his headphones to block off the noise and vapid gym chatter and groans. He would place a towel on the bench before lying on it because God forbid he should get in contact with the sweat of commoners and contract something that would require open surgery. He had that kind of a body that just responded to weights; small at the waist, wide at the top, defined biceps, a strong neck and well-formed thighs and legs. He – unlike most guys in the gym then and now – was proportional. He had a keen sense of gym fashion before apparel was a thing. He knew he looked good. We knew he looked good.

I didn’t like him.

We trained for almost a year without so as much as exchanging a nod. This was because my default setting is silence. Talking tires me. Unless I’m tipsy. So we never spoke to each other. Then one day I went to the gym on a Saturday and he was there alone with his beloved towel. He asked, “Are you doing bench today? We can do it together.” We did bench together. And that was it. We started working out together; his motto was heavy weights and less reps, mine was light weights and more reps because I wasn’t going for the hulky Orangutan look. Somehow we found a middle ground. Then we started hanging out. I realised that we had tons in common; first we shared the exact same birthday; date, month, day. I’m named after an African freedom fighter, he’s named after an African freedom fighter. I also found out that he, too, was an ass man, after I found out that he wasn’t an ass.

Sadly, we grew up and outgrew the gym obsession. Sort of. I found my purpose and pursued it across the border. We lost touch briefly and when we reconnected again, he had moved to a different neighbourhood uptown, a big four bedroom house in a small compound with three roommates, one a budding musician who – thankfully – gave up on that dream because anybody could tell that he couldn’t sing. I remember their kitchen being so big you could build a servants quarter in it. Before flat screen became a thing, they had the 52 inch TV. He would throw mad parties at this house. Mad. Parties. There was a lot of alcohol and a lot of girls and loud music. I remember they’d call it three to one, to mean a party that didn’t have three girls to one man was no party. “There is a three-to-one on Sato,” a message would read. [Whatsapp had not been invented].

He was a guy of biashara, I was just starting out as a writer. He was very ambitious, a workhorse and just had admirable work ethic – no place was too far to chase the paper. At some point our priorities started changing and the things that brought us together became less relevant. I became a father. We lost touch. We would meet on the very rare occasion to have a drink.

Then he met someone and they started dating seriously. He quit drinking and partying. If he could find the Lord, I thought, anybody can. He had found Jesus and Jesus was good to him. I thought, ah, it’s the girlfriend, he will be back. But he never drunk again. Then his fiancée must have said, “Do you need to stay in that big house? I think it’s a waste of rent. Plus, all those friends seem to do is drink, play Playstation and entertain light-skinned girls who don’t seem to be doing anything with their lives.” So he moved out to a smaller digs. Then I heard he was married. Just like that, like a bird off a tree.

Shortly there was a bun in the oven and then boom, a son. He was those guys who immerse themselves in family right up to their moustache. I remember one time he had a small mbuzi thing at his house, one of those tame ones where everybody goes with their wives and children run between chairs outside in the front yard, the smell of roasting meat in the air and chaps being very well-behaved, talking about business or politics or money or the future of asbestos. That’s the first time I was meeting the wife and I remember two things from that afternoon. One, is how strikingly beautiful she was, which wasn’t surprising because he was always that guy who cherry-picked. The second thing I remember is how, while we were seated outside, a cluster of men, she came out and said something to him in a tone that we found to be off, almost stripping him naked before us. I don’t remember what she said, but I remember her tone and we all picked up on it. Although we pretended that it never happened, it floated over our heads uneasily like a foul smell for the rest of the afternoon. We were embarrassed for him. I never asked him about it because how your wife speaks to you is your business. Maybe it’s your language of love.

After that party we didn’t communicate for a long time. It was quiet for close to two years. One day last year he called me and we had fish at Mama Oliech.

“I’m no longer married,” he announced.

I said, “Perfect, now we can run off together.” We laughed.

“What happened? I thought things were going great!”

“I thought so too…well at least in the first year,” he said.

The first problem – the only problem – was that she was earning more money than he was. But it wasn’t a problem at the beginning. Five months in and finances started rocking the boat. “When we got married my business was doing so badly,” he said. “I was having many bad months and I didn’t think money would be a big problem because we had even attended pre-marital counselling and finances were discussed extensively. Ey, but this chic just started changing slowly, boss, it was like she was someone else.”

While his business was dragging and he was counting pennies, she was balling. Her dressing was changing, getting better, heels getting higher, hair looking like somewhere only the golden eggs are laid. Her circle of friends also started changing, it climbed to a different status. Suddenly she was hanging out at hotel bars with their thick carpets and overpriced cocktails. They were taking trips out of town, to places with swimming pools and filtered sunsets, champagne and shit. He would stay behind looking after his son.

“You are just sore you weren’t having fun,” I told him jokingly.

“Oh! I wasn’t ati intimidated. I was doing my part. I was trying to be transparent as a provider.”

“Transparent with what?” I asked. “It’s always the person making less who wants to be transparent.”

“Kwani whose side are you on?”

“Elephants,” I said. “But seriously, so these things started when you got married ama they were there but you never saw them?”

“I think they might have been there but si you know how it is when you are dating. You overlook things. I think the biggest thing I overlooked was her faith. I had started on a strong faith, clear about my relationship with God but she wasn’t and I didn’t think it would be a big deal, really.”

“So what happened?”

“I think her friends started poisoning her, asking her what she was doing with a broke man. Her family also started questioning her choice. I think they thought she was doing too well to be with someone like me. I also think she was interacting with a different calibre of men at work and she thought she deserved better. She started resenting me. I could tell from how she would talk to me,” he said.

“With madhaa? She would answer you by putting the word “si” before a word?” I asked.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“You know when a woman says, “Si I told you I was with my friends,” “Si it’s huko in the drawer where everything is kept.”

He chuckled. “Worse. She slowly started becoming nasty. During fights she would really come at me, you guy. Personally. As in, it would feel like she was angry at me as a person, mpaka I was like yaani how can you even talk to me like that? You get? And it grew worse by the day. We seemed to be fighting all the time and it was always about money. She didn’t want me making any decisions about money given that I wasn’t contributing as much as she was. She had a way of reminding me all the time that the money was hers, but subtly. You know how a chic can say something to mean that she’s calling the shots?”

“Money is crazy.”

“I believed greatly from my faith that marriage was something of a partnership, a union where your problems are my problems and my problems are your problems and the money you make is our money…”

“Oh, come on!”

“What?!”

“Is that what they told you in the premarital counselling classes?”

“I mean, yeah…as in how do you expect to go towards one direction when you can’t handle money as just this…I don’t know…tool you need to get somewhere?”

“You were naive.”

“You think.”

“I know.”

“If say I was making more, do you think we would have other problems?”

“We will never know, will we?” I say. “But how did you react to her during this time?”

“I’m stubborn in that I thought I’d do everything to make it work. I thought I’d love her into submission. I had a great spiritual faith and I chose not to look at her as a problem but as this issue. That’s what they taught us in premarital counselling. But having our son made things harder, because now we had more bills. Her conversations started changing. She started complaining; suddenly where we lived was a problem, she was complaining that we never went on holidays as a family, she seemed to want more and more.”

Then the house became a hostel; a place they all converged to sleep, like a crossbreed of YMCA and YWCA, only with a child. They slowly stopped speaking. When they spoke it was always an argument about money. “She would be saying nasty things to me but I chose not to react or say anything.”

“Jesus held your tongue,” I said.

“Yeah. Plus we had a child in the house, I didn’t want to create a bad environment for him, so I thought my not arguing with her or reacting to her would make her back down but she only got bolder and more disrespectful. It got to a point where her phone would ring at night and she would leave and speak on the phone away from me.”

“Did you ask ama you are one of those guys who see that as weakness.” [I know, I’m badgering the witness]

“Of course. She would say it’s a colleague who wanted something and I would ask her why a colleague would be calling her at night and she would fly off the handle, asking me what the hell I want from her, this job is the one paying for stuff in the house yet I still question work calls! So I would just chill,” he said.

Sex became once a month. Then once in two months. Then once a quarter. “On the rare occasion that it happened, I could feel how dead she was to it, like she wanted it to end fast. So I stopped asking,” he said. After sex went, any form of meaningful conversation also ended.

One day her phone rang after 10pm. They were in bed, strangers in the sack; him reading, her pretending to be asleep. She picked it and since it was quiet and her volume was loud, he could hear that the voice on the other end was a man. She said, “Sasa?…Yes….Si I call you tomorrow…sawa….goodnight.” When she hung up he sat up in bed and said sarcastically, “Was that work again?” Without turning she said, “Yeah.” He said, “Please go sleep in another room. You can’t sleep in this bed if you can’t respect it.” So she picked up her pillow (why do people always leave with their pillow?) and went to her son’s bedroom.

“I told God that I had tried everything and that I was waiting for whatever he would decide of that marriage,” he said. “Things got so bad that sometimes I would hear her being dropped late at night.” He would stand at the upstairs window and see the car that had dropped her parked outside the gate. After a few minutes, she would step out. “Do you know how small that makes you feel? That some man can drop off your wife right outside your gate?”

“That’s mad,” I said. We had finished eating, ugali now dry on my hands. It’s annoying to scrape that off when washing your hands.

“A week later she texted me one afternoon and said she will be moving out in three days,” he said. She moved out with everything. He gave her everything in the house and remained with the mattress and a few items in the house. “The house didn’t look inhabited. I remember people knocking on the gate to ask if the house was up for rent.” He laughed. “I had very little money coming in and she knew it. I think she wanted to see how long I’d survive without her. I remember going down on my knees and asking God what I had done to deserve all this. I’d given my all. In fact, that was the best version of myself. I had stopped drinking, turned my life around and that is what I got? I said, “If indeed you’re there listening to me, please don’t allow me to be embarrassed. Don’t allow me to be kicked out of the house and go back to my parents.”

For a few weeks he ate bread and milk while standing, or on his mattress. He felt destabilized. A failure of love. His self esteem was low. He would avoid anyone who might ask him how his wife was doing. Well, God heard his prayer because a month later he got a 1.5M gig. A miracle, really. The largest amount of money he had made in years. They even paid him half as down payment . He bought curtains, a gas cooker and other things. People stopped asking if the house was up for rent. He heard that his wife was now dating one of her colleagues. “It cut me like a knife,” he said. “As in, a few months later and she was already dating while I didn’t even know where to start my life again?”

Months passed with them doing the co-parenting thing. “He heard she broke up with the man because, well, it’s all fun and games until she is your girlfriend and not someone’s wife,” he said. “Now you are no longer stealing moments.”

“At some point we tried counselling,” he said.

“You thought of taking her back?”

“Yeah, for the sake of my son.”

“Of course,” I said.

“Yeah, but man, counselling wasn’t working either. That’s when I realised that we had different value systems and that this faith thing is big for me. I can’t be with someone whose faith isn’t aligned to mine.”

When we met he was three years into being single again. We met again last year and this time he was looking for someone to marry and settle down with. Someone of the same faith. Someone who is big on spirituality and family and starting a family. So, God and children. He was also categorical that he didn’t want someone who would want to have premarital sex. She’d have to be willing to go on dates and things but not try and take him to bed. You know, entice him with foggy bedroom eyes and fabric that slide and slither on her body shape or someone who picks her strawberry from her desert with her fingers in slow motion. By last year October he had been celibate four years. (Still is, last I checked.) At first I said there is no way someone can be celibate for that long, surely you’d get dizzy spells and, or, migraines and athlete’s foot? He said it was easy, “the first year is the toughest.” To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.

I hooked him up with a friend of mine who also big on her faith and wants to start a family. We all met at a café but she didn’t feel him because she felt he was too quiet. I said, “It’s because I was running my mouth, give him another chance!” She said, “Nah, really, I didn’t feel that thing.”

“What thing!” I said.

“Plus, he’s dark, I like light men.”

“No shit.”

So I hooked him up with another friend, someone who doesn’t mind dark chocolate going to her waist. This time I didn’t go because I realised I was getting in the way of love. They met for mid-morning coffee. They had a good conversation. But that also didn’t work out. They both didn’t feel each other. She felt he was too nice. “I’m stubborn, I want a man who I will not walk all over.” He felt that he wanted someone much younger, like 26 to 33. (He’s late 30s]. So another one bit the dust.

So I gave up. But he hasn’t. He wants a second crack at marriage. So he’s still looking. God will get him his woman. Maybe she’s here on the comment section. Maybe she’s at Mavuno. Maybe she’s on leave and just woke up to do last night’s dishes. Or she’s driving to her doctor’s for her annual pap smear. Maybe she’s writing her resignation letter at work. For the ninth time. Or laughing at a meme.

Maybe.

356 Responses
  • Mwania
    30.04.2019

    After a looong wait

    1
      • Janice
        01.05.2019

        May be she’s at Mavuno.. I think I know this lady. Perfect match for ‘Guy’ I dare say..she’s big on faith in God and family. I can hook him up!

        36
        • Eudiah Gathama
          01.05.2019

          Hmmmmm why Mavuno church? N which Mavuno campus? I go to Mavuno and am OK with a kind n gentleman

          2
          • Derrick Maingi
            03.05.2019

            smile emoji

            2
        • Samson Botrous
          02.05.2019

          Is her name Janice?

          4
        • Kitavi G
          03.05.2019

          Maybe She’s at Mavuno why did this statement just fit in there so perfectly?

        • Carole
          22.05.2019

          Give me his number.

    • Vetu Eunice
      30.04.2019

      Quite an interesting read Biko,
      It’s always a pleasure to know that there are good saved men out here who hold high the standards of Godly dating that leads to marriage.
      Praise Jesus ‘guy’ and keep holding on to our God he is a God who rewards obedience.
      We shall meet if it’s God’s will.

      54
      • Tabs
        30.04.2019

        Indeed.

    • Wanjiru
      01.05.2019

      Maybe she is me.

      5
    • Angie Ngugi
      01.05.2019

      He sounds quite nice but God oh so boring .

      7
      • Mich
        03.05.2019

        Very boring

      • Rogers K
        04.05.2019

        You might actually know if he is boring or not once you meet him.. it would be difficult to deduce that from a 20minute summary

        6
      • Ellen
        08.05.2019

        Or maybe she is in Mombasa County… Good story.. Sad but true depiction of what’s going on. . Sigh….

      • Nyar gem
        11.05.2019

        There is something about Celibacy…it’s a process that requires patience and commitment

        1
    • Wahito
      01.05.2019

      I count my celibacy in months…28 months

      I’m inspired

      8
      • Mich
        03.05.2019

        Why is he acting like he deserves rainbows just because he has “faith” ? Then he sought God for selfish reasons . He and his faith were part of the problem.
        Ladies.. He is not a catch!

        2
      • Rufus
        17.05.2019

        Are you celibate as a matter of choice or lack

    • Joshua kiogora
      01.05.2019

      You’re a great story teller. I love this piece, especially those aspects touching on Faith, because I’m skeptical about religion

      1
    • Philo
      03.05.2019

      Maybe she’s here. Just maybe.

      1
    • Cindy Ndeda
      14.05.2019

      Thank you for sharing a story from someone of faith!
      Please tell your friend that putting age limits on love isn’t a Godly thing. Age has nothing to do with faith, live and respect.
      May Jesus Christ meet him at his point of need.

    • Bree
      15.05.2019

      I am here! Very serious Biko, hook a girl up!

      2
  • Sasha shaz
    30.04.2019

    Atlast it’s here.

    • Annie
      30.04.2019

      Tell him I am here, though I am way above his preferred age!

      11
      • Me
        30.04.2019

        I’m sure most here will fit his age preference

        3
        • Evans
          06.05.2019

          Avoiding keyholes 🙂
          Thats nastyan

          2
    • Valentine
      30.04.2019

      Ah kumbe these good men are here ☺️… He’s allowed to DM

      6
      • Nyar Gem
        11.05.2019

        Celibacy is a process .. that needs patience and commitment

  • Teddy
    30.04.2019

    nice!

    2
    • P K
      30.04.2019

      Great. Most people I have hooked up end up married. So may I try him out for size for my single pals? Let me know.

      29
      • Christine
        30.04.2019

        Good luck charm kind of thing? I hope you’re a chick though

        1
        • Irene
          30.04.2019

          I am here,also been celibate for sometime now,don’t believe in pre marital sex,biiiigg on spirituality and God,one son and am in my early thirties and looking to settle.

          19
      • naomi
        30.04.2019

        Heeh, could you hook me up with Biko’s Guy? 😉

        4
        • Anastasia
          03.05.2019

          I thought I was the only one with this believe on celibacy kumbe we are many

          2
          • Nyarg gem
            11.05.2019

            We are many ..

          • Lusi
            14.05.2019

            Oooh wow, ladies there is no perfect relationship or marriage, all it takes is light perseverance and commitment, everything works one step at a time..

            1
      • Lucy
        30.04.2019

        Hook up please

        5
      • Tabbie Wachira
        30.04.2019

        Share contacts I try hooking him up with a good lady whose faith in God is deep.

        2
        • Ocampo
          01.05.2019

          Could that lady be you?

          1
          • Tete
            01.05.2019

            “avoiding eye contact with key holes’..this one struck me..way to go Biko

            4
          • LC
            14.05.2019

            Marriage is overrated. So many people going through hell in those “marriages”. I have my own reservations about the whole thing. I wonder why do people stand such things in name of faith.

        • Mumbi
          07.05.2019

          Oooh no. So sad. Thought this only happens to us ladies. Something similar happened to me but God gives us the strength to help us carry on with life for the sake of our children

          1
      • Miss.K
        30.04.2019

        We all deserve a second chance in
        love

      • Beryl
        30.04.2019

        Hook me up already

        2
        • Lucy
          02.05.2019

          The comments section is full of people who want to hook up with this guy lol.. Was this the intent of this post Biko? Me I know the perfect woman for this guy is in Cathy Kiuna’s church

          3
          • cleo
            05.05.2019

            Kwa Kiuna hapana. those people are taught all about properity gospel. Nothing bibilical

            3
          • Tinah
            15.05.2019

            Maybe it’s me.

      • Peter Pinchez
        01.05.2019

        Isn’t it interesting how most ladies (well, assuming they’re ladies from their names),are commenting on the hook up while almost every guy is still hung on that teenager bicep line!

        And life continues!

        7
        • Tina
          01.05.2019

          GOD is a GOD of second chances.

          3
        • Dorothy
          01.05.2019

          I know right

      • Hilda
        09.05.2019

        Can I be your friend?

  • James Irungu
    30.04.2019

    “All you want at 19 years is biceps. I never had any lofty ambitions, nothing burning and unsettling in sleep, just muscles” This statement just made it interesting, a description of all the youths, unfortunately the youths are no longer in the teenage bracket but grown men.

    4
    • daudi888
      30.04.2019

      All the best, Guy! I admire the priorities
      ‘At first I said there is no way someone can be celibate for that long, surely you’d get dizzy spells and, or, migraines and athlete’s foot?’

      4
      • Nancy
        01.05.2019

        Awesome story and the Lord grant him his heart’s desires..

    • Rutto
      30.04.2019

      May she is also wondering how to fix her life

      2
      • Wanyora
        30.04.2019

        Awesome read…….I hope he meets the one soon….

    • Parmeres
      30.04.2019

      Biko?Gym?hahaha…who wrote this it has some youth in it and we all know chocolate man is old…sips tea.

      1
    • Sukefrancis
      30.04.2019

      This is too accurate. Teenagers want to grow up too fast. Then get to 30s and they want to go back.

      2
    • Charity
      30.04.2019

      I like that he is totally sold out to Christ. Christianity comes with a whole lot of maturity and God will surely grant his desire of finding an authentic Christian woman. Eph 3.20 Now to him who is able to do, immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us. That work will come to its completion in Jesus Christ.

      12
      • Ocampo
        01.05.2019

        Amen. Paybill ya sadaka?

        2
  • Chubuliu
    30.04.2019

    First

    2
    • Eunice
      30.04.2019

      His wife will definitely come… good read.

      1
  • Sonia
    30.04.2019

    Faith and spirituality are big issues. I hope that his quest to be married doesn’t consume him to the point that he makes another mistake. As always, it was a good read. I also hate when ugali and ngwaci dries on my finger tips. Lol

    26
    • Loise
      30.04.2019

      I know a friend who can be very much interested

      1
      • Miss.K
        30.04.2019

        We all deserve a second chance in
        love

  • Phane
    30.04.2019

    What a good man!

    • P P K
      01.05.2019

      The way my body is structured if he stopped going to the gym I’d have to be content in being lifted up in prayer

      3
  • Shee
    30.04.2019

    Where do I send my application? lol. ..This place has no emojis.

    10
    • Jaykay
      30.04.2019

      Hahaha makes two of us. Lakini that age limit. Sigh…..

      1
      • Lyops
        30.04.2019

        ‘I thought I’d love her into submission’…hmmmmm

        1
    • Wanjira. .
      30.04.2019

      Always a good read.

      1
    • Ciku
      30.04.2019

      I want emojis too….and where to send application as well. heheh

  • Wanja
    30.04.2019

    May he find her soon.

    1
  • Mary
    30.04.2019

    I have a friend who went through the exact same thing. He was not perfect but it really got him down when he lost his kids. He’s met someone else and hopefully it will work out this time.

    Back to Mr. Man, It is so refreshing to see a man wait to find the right person. I hope he finds someone who complements him and gets him to the next level. I am here rooting for you Mr. Man. Biko, do share with us the happy ending!

    16
  • Purity
    30.04.2019

    Gosh. Hope he gets his sweetheart.

    2
  • Mark
    30.04.2019

    Maybe she’s one of those followers who comment “First!”

    Guy* [Not his real name, obviously] will find someone. I did and I was hopeless. God is faithful. That’s why we sing that “Everything na dabo dabo” song.

    Also, Biko, why would you confuse people with the word ‘pugilist’? Just say boxer. Vocabulary wachia Malkiat Singh.

    81
    • Renée
      30.04.2019

      Maybe she’s in this comment section. Hi

      1
    • Hadi
      30.04.2019

      Goodness no!

      • Sean
        30.04.2019

        May be the lady also has a story to tell…the guy being a hunky could have been a serial killer.

    • Julie
      30.04.2019

      That you even remembered Malkiat Singh

      7
    • Judy
      01.05.2019

      Such nice men are rare to find but we can’t even appreciate them when we get them instead we are looking for those faults and inadequacies as if there are angels somewhere waiting for us. Nobody is perfect.

      • Acholla Milan
        04.05.2019

        very true

  • Techsoft
    30.04.2019

    To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes. Biko you are nuts!!!

    36
    • Roselyne
      30.04.2019

      You know, I couldn’t stop roaring but i get it, It’s holes hunger on another level.

      8
      • Beryl
        30.04.2019

        Well tell him am here at the comments session . preferred age!

        1
    • Ruth
      30.04.2019

      The same God who gave him that gig breakthrough is truly the same who will) give him a great partner

      10
  • Irene
    30.04.2019

    May be it is me. But does he still make the millions please? Mwanaume no pesa

    5
    • Sally
      30.04.2019

      A good read.l hope he meets the love of his life

      • Mich
        03.05.2019

        Yeah.. How do you love someone to submission really .this guy was a problem too.. Him and his faith

      • Njoki
        07.05.2019

        You can never crack this code called “What women really want” and there’s no manual on it.. Just live with them as they come, coz its kinda a hard nut to crack…. Hahahahaahhaah…

  • Judf
    30.04.2019

    He avoids eye contact with the keyhole
    May he meet that gal who deserves him

  • Mariah
    30.04.2019

    Discussing politics, money and the future of asbestos!!

    3
    • Ngaruiya
      22.05.2019

      Why are other people here not stuck on this, I mean, what does the future really portend, for poor asbestos?!

  • Kwich
    30.04.2019

    Wow!

  • Dottie
    30.04.2019

    Wow!

    1
  • Child of a King
    30.04.2019

    “He wanted someone much younger, like 26-33. Maybe she’s on leave and just woke up to do last night’s dishes. Maybe she’s in the comment section.”

    All this can’t be coincidence, now can it?

    16
    • Dee
      30.04.2019

      No, it cannot. Peana details

      1
    • Miss.K
      30.04.2019

      I know… just read this and am like kwani God is this a sigh….

      2
    • Tom Osanjo
      30.04.2019

      Can’t be! The King is speaking to you, Child of a King! Go for it!!!

      3
    • Child of a King
      30.04.2019

      He really does sound like a decent guy.

      I chuckled at the mention of Mavuno because a time like this last year, I was making plans to take the Ndoa class. But things don’t always work out as we want them to.

      So chocolate man, how are we doing this thing? Ama pia hii ni lottery?

      16
      • Tortoise
        01.05.2019

        Go for it!

        1
      • Ngaruiya
        22.05.2019

        Well, you could possibly start out with the just recently acquired Huduma Numbers… Sort, jumble, poll or just, something.

  • clif the tall
    30.04.2019

    “Money is crazy.”

    Well, money does not change people, it unmasks them.

    55
    • CAPTain
      30.04.2019

      Hehe, he is even avoiding key holes ,really!! Hung on Mr. Guy all will be well and thumps up for that kind of humility, not all would persevere.

      2
      • Tesh
        02.05.2019

        Tuko wengi he must be spoilt for choice from the comments

        1
  • Kimani
    30.04.2019

    You see ladies want bad boys that are “good”, but your friend is a good boy that is good.

    4
  • Jack
    30.04.2019

    ………….. he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.

    Enough said…

    4
  • Sonie
    30.04.2019

    athlete’s foot from dry spells! plus not even looking at keyholes for a year; is that what they call tertiary virginity?

    4
  • Kate
    30.04.2019

    Haha! Biko, did you just start a dating site?

    6
    • P
      30.04.2019

      The bible says he is to reconcile with his wife. Forgive her seventy times seventy

      1
      • Tee
        01.05.2019

        P, she’s the one who left him and went to live with another man. He tried counseling too. In as much as he would want to reconcile with her, you can’t reconcile with someone who isn’t there to reconcile with in the first place.

      • Kelitu
        01.05.2019

        It is good to reconcile, but reconciliation is only possible if both parties are willing. Then there is a biblical provision for divorce when adultery is involved.

  • Lus
    30.04.2019

    Maybe… but I am curious in all this soul searching if he found it within himself to do the co-parenting and do it well. R.S.V.P. One last thought,..I am wondering what form his idea of “God” takes, a religious or spiritual one? Mysterious Guy!

    1
  • Cher
    30.04.2019

    At first when I read you were writing about men, I was worried I might have to find something else to do on Tuesday morning, but I stuck it out and I’m grateful for that. Reading this stuff gives me a sort of footing on the world because I tend to live in my head a lot. Through you I’ve gotten to live out so many stories and view life from different perspectives. Thanks

    7
  • Gee
    30.04.2019

    Haha, really Biko. I hope he finds peace and love I wish him well. Women can be poisonous Kwanza when we make a few coins. Keep on hooking him up.

    4
  • Malaika
    30.04.2019

    This life has shown and taught me things. He shall get what he is looking for… let me send a friend a link to this story. She is also looking, we had a long heart to heart jana. She just might be the one..lol…

    3
  • Emma
    30.04.2019

    Oh Wow! I hope he finds love soon. I have lovely sunday school teachers in my church who fit this age and of course faith. 🙂

    1
  • Chebet
    30.04.2019

    You have my email Biko. Try it this last time.

    1
  • Leah
    30.04.2019

    Was an ass man after i found out he wasn’t an assnice one

    1
  • Shiru
    30.04.2019

    He said it was easy, “the first year is the toughest.” To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.
    Hahahaha this is funny *picturing a keyhole right now

    4
  • Sir. Phil
    30.04.2019

    Just tell him to give up. This thing isn’t for any Harry……..if he can’t, then he should not struggle. I advice him to take it easy and not to place so many conditions on the person he wants for a WiFi!

    2
  • Muigai
    30.04.2019

    The Lord is faithful.A perfect match maker.He will surely find love .Keep up Biko.This is nice

    4
  • Njeri
    30.04.2019

    These good people are still there and we are here

    1
  • Anne
    30.04.2019

    So men can abstain for years? Am shocked. There was a time i abstained for 7 months, damn it was difficult.

    2
  • Jaykay
    30.04.2019

    Oh wow this days it’s hard to find a man who doesn’t want to engage in premarital sex. May he find his lady.

    1
  • Ndunge
    30.04.2019

    If he’s still looking for a wife, I’m here!

    1
  • Judy
    30.04.2019

    All the best to him, a rear breed of a man, hope he finds a perfect match for him.

  • cjcaro
    30.04.2019

    This encourages me that there are still good men out there. Such stories ever get to see the light of day.
    Hope he gets the right one this time round

    4
  • Beckky
    30.04.2019

    Story of my life…female version: “This job is the one paying for stuff in the house yet you still question work calls…” Heck, I even relate to the part where he says, she wanted to see how long he’d survive without her,because she knew his little take home. He as well started dating a colleague weeks after I moved out, it definitely ‘cut like a knife’ because you wonder why his life goes on pretty well yet you on the other side struggle to start afresh….hmm these marriages.

    3
    • LizA
      01.05.2019

      You and me both. Work calls even at 3 am. I kanyagad kubwa kubwa.

      3
  • abdullah omar
    30.04.2019

    married above his station!next time he should try other ports of call!

    1
  • Mbinya
    30.04.2019

    It may be me. Just maybe.

    1
  • MO
    30.04.2019

    Marriage is really hard, especially when you have different views in life. I married young then stayed for seven years and after that rodeo….I think some people do better single. I didn’t know what I wanted or rather the one I married never gave me room for opinions. Your guy needs to start meeting people without rules mara I want someone who is bla bla, meet someone get to know them then maybe things can work for him. The worst anyone can do is go out there looking for someone to marry, there are women/men who will package themselves as who you want them to be.
    Good luck to him!

    42
    • Bill
      30.04.2019

      The bible clearly tells us not to yoke ourselves to unbelievers. He needs to stick to his conditions. Taking someone who doesn’t share in His beliefs will only lead to the same result. I’m sure he knows that now.

      4
    • Veronica Waiyaki
      02.05.2019

      “I think some people do better single. I didn’t know what I wanted or rather the one I married never gave me room for opinions. Your guy needs to start meeting people without rules mara I want someone who is bla bla,…” Well put. What I can give him thumps up for is that he’s not sleeping around like a stray dog.

      4
      • Tasha
        05.05.2019

        Stray dog?? LOL. Is that what we call me these days. Haha

        4
        • Tasha
          05.05.2019

          *Call them

          • Mike
            05.05.2019

            No Tasha, I think you really did mean you

  • Sarah Mbogo
    30.04.2019

    Maybe..I wish him well..God does provide

    • Mildred Akoth
      06.05.2019

      Do these people who offer Pre Marital Couselling services refund back your cash if their advices didn’t work?

  • suzzanah
    30.04.2019

    Wow, Mine didn’t work either. I am in the process of leaving the marriage. Marriage is tough especially if you can no longer communicate like adults. Someone said, ‘if you have to play detective, then it’s time to move one’.

    7
  • NDAWA
    30.04.2019

    such a read. It makes me wonder whether in this generation I am going to get a wife or rather,if I am good enough for someone. Confusions galore

    3
    • Mercy
      30.04.2019

      Yes you are. You are better than good. And you will get the best that God has for you

      2
  • Wambui
    30.04.2019

    In this day and age finding a man who is abstinent and insists on it is extremely rare and greatly admirable.May he find her.

    3
  • Miss Anne
    30.04.2019

    “To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes” I’m still crying

    1
  • Dickson
    30.04.2019

    Yikes!

  • Gabriella
    30.04.2019

    This right here is bliss….Awesome read once again!!

    • Mercy
      30.04.2019

      Yes you are. You are better than good. And you will get the best that God has for you

  • Ken Kago
    30.04.2019

    Jackson, (does anybody call you that, I wonder?) now you are into match-making! Interesting. Perhaps you should dig a little more and find one (a match-making) that succeeded – I mean ended in a couple being pronounced husband and wife.
    It has often been assumed that women are the ones who bend over backwards to try and make things work – for God and children. But here is man who proves it is not just women. Men too are strong on family. But it seems that a combination where the woman earns more works more in exception rather than as a norm! So, it is true, to the girls his money is ‘our’ money and her money is hers alone? If that be case in a marriage, then that is anything but a partnership, which a marriage is meant to be!
    I once knew a guy who before they married, was not employed but his fiancee was. And he had access to her ATM card and knew its PIN! I thought that was remarkable that early in the relationship. They are still married, more than ten years on, and going strong.
    Nice read – as always.

    7
    • Kate
      30.04.2019

      Its because society has socilaised us to believe men are to provide.but as women get more successful the dynamics have shifted so we have to be socialised again to believe in marriage it’s our money.

      2
  • Bree
    30.04.2019

    Ooooo woow!!! But this is an amazing man!!

    Si you give us his contacts Biko 🙂 (and this is a good kind of ‘si’ not the kind that kills spirits)

    14
  • Shi Roh
    30.04.2019

    Silly
    Very silly
    Very very silly
    Doing away with a man who loves you, for one who just wants to use you

    8
  • Atis
    30.04.2019

    Amazing story. I would like to meet this man for coffee. You never know where it could lead to. Biko, make it happen.

    3
    • Ireneann
      01.05.2019

      Totally agreed and Biko we should get calendar invites, for when we are going for a date with him,and you Biko should not come, lest your forehead gets in the way of God’s will.

      4
  • Grace Yaa
    30.04.2019

    Our God is the same God that helped his business. He will surly get him a good wife! Hang in there.. Loved this Biko! Thanks.

    4
  • thisisJack
    30.04.2019

    Afraid to look into a keyhole!!
    He will find one.
    His season is yet to end.

  • Chambers
    30.04.2019

    Where are we dropping our profiles for Guy?

    2
  • Mercy
    30.04.2019

    God is faithful…veery faithful. Tell Him to keep trusting.

    And I know several friends that fits the description of what He is looking for. Maybe He should give out His number.

    2
  • Juliet Onyango
    30.04.2019

    Can I meet him ?

    1
  • Christine
    30.04.2019

    I pray every night for my future husband; for his mind and soul, all his endeavors, his family and relationships, and everything that he touches. I pray for myself too that I’ll be the wife that He aspires for that great man that he’s preparing. Could this be him? I’d really appreciate if you could get me I touch with Guy (not his real name of course)

    12
  • Sigh..I remember this story from the Saturday magazine Mantalk…he as well stated he didn’t want those saved mamas who sip wine…*rolls eyes to the back of the head..*
    Yet in John 2..Jesus turned water into wine and in 1 Timothy 5:23 Paul recommends a little wine for “thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities.” (Context and amount is important so as not to overdo stuff to the point of inebriation)
    Bottomline: Stop cherry picking in God’s house. It’s not a supermarket. He’s the Boss, not you. He may give you someone totally opposite to what you’ve noted down on your list.
    This is because He sees everything in light of eternity, and the person He will offer you is for the advancement of His Kingdom.

    15
    • wanjirumk
      30.04.2019

      @Meryl i concur with you,maybe he will have to meet someone whom he will have to make her find Jesus,since he was also made too by the lady but his faith grew stronger than the one who introduced him to Jesus.

    • Dee
      30.04.2019

      And here I was scrolling downwards to make the application.. sigh. I’m one of those saved ones who sip wine, be flexible

    • Jaykay
      30.04.2019

      @MerylIf he has so many standards then I wonder if his lady only left him because of the financial issue or there was more. There is truly three sides to a story, his, hers and the truth. Right now, we have only one.

      1
    • Rits
      30.04.2019

      Preach sister ! preach!

    • Marakesh
      01.05.2019

      If you check the marriages in the bible from Sarah and Abraham, Rebecca and Isaac to Rachael and Jacob there seemed to be genuine attraction and I believe our God says “He will satisfy the desires of our hearts as long we delight ourselves in Him” Psa 37:4 so i am all for cherry picking let Him not settle and wait on God.

      5
      • Bee
        01.05.2019

        Very true Marakesh, Abraham was in fact so choosy that he had to send someone all the way to Laban’s for his son Isaac’s wife.
        Plus there are bible standards….and it is best for one to adhere to his convictions especially when it comes to life-time commitments….then there is the aspect of once bitten twice shy…..Guy can not afford to not ‘cherry pick’

        1
  • Nelly
    30.04.2019

    I feel so sad for him…very nice. Your writing makes my Tuesdays very interesting.

  • perpy
    30.04.2019

    Just maybe…..si i always look forward to Tuesdays!

  • Liz
    30.04.2019

    “It’s all fun and games until she is your girlfriend and not someone’s wife, now you are no longer stealing moments ” That’s called reality of a cheat

    8
  • wanjirumk
    30.04.2019

    “Kwani whose side are you on?”

    “Elephants,” I said. “But seriously, so these things started when you got married ama they were there but you never saw them?”

    You just made my boss ask to see why i was laughing.Now he is reading your story mayoooo.

    ION-Mr.Guy i have forwarded this story to my friend who you can hook up.

    @biko ati you are on the elephants side.

    5
  • Mysta
    30.04.2019

    Can I have him? *so much for wishful thinking*

    1
  • Benson
    30.04.2019

    Biko, can you find a couple that have been married 10 years plus and still hoping for a child. Their struggle is that of getting a child? Thank you.

    I have to say i have enjoyed this marriage posts very much. Just like i enjoyed the 40’s one and also the parenthood ….. seems i named all of them. I like the direction you always choose to take with your writing.

    1
    • CAROLYNE NYAKOYO
      30.04.2019

      his*

  • CAROLYNE NYAKOYO
    30.04.2019

    great read…such circumstances may have you doubting the faith… its only in Him that everything makes sense. May he’s true rib find him. cheers to a better tomorrow.

  • Redd
    30.04.2019

    He might be a hot bed for insecurities though.

    1
  • Mia
    30.04.2019

    I feel exactly like him. Maybe it’s me he’s looking for

    1
  • Mwash yule celibate
    30.04.2019

    Now Biko is back to being Biko….my life has not been the same for the last 2weeks. But that aside.
    My stellar line was “To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.”……I mean, what kind of dry-spell would that be? I feel the last paragraph will be read by souls whispering “this is me, this is mine” while a few would want him to expand the age requirement a little bit. All the same, I wish a brother well in his quest for his soulmate.

    2
  • Kidamakana
    30.04.2019

    Biko, I am the one!

    • Fransy
      30.04.2019

      Talking tires me too…..”…avoids eye contact with key holes.” Hahaaa.. Hope he finds her…

  • Hanifa
    30.04.2019

    I pray that you get that sweetheart.

    • Boera Bisieri
      02.05.2019

      Tell the poor man that a fellow poor girl, who loves God, children and boiled chicken is here….Oh and gym too. I could take him back to his gym old days

  • Lisa
    30.04.2019

    Guy, all the best.

  • Mitch
    30.04.2019

    “Do you know how small that makes you feel?” This line Maaanze! Disrespect is just inexplicable, especially when it comes from someone you truly love.

    1
  • Waithira
    30.04.2019

    Where’s he?

  • Yvette
    30.04.2019

    “I’m stubborn, I want a man who I will not walk all over.”!!! good read as usual , thanks Biko.

    • Esta
      30.04.2019

      Biko and his funny blogs. Nice one

  • Naomi
    30.04.2019

    Biko, I am also on the side of elephants ( and Llamas 😉 ). I am also on Guy’s side. I would love to personally hear what his sound of silence is like.

    1
  • Nanna
    30.04.2019

    It gives me hope to know that there are men willing to wait for marriage to involve intimacy. It is a beautiful story and hopefully he gets to meet the one he seeks.

  • Priscilla
    30.04.2019

    Is he interested in a gently used mother of 3 girls who’s going through the same thing?
    Hi Guy!

    2
  • GK
    30.04.2019

    Wow Biko. Really? Pugilist? I had to look it up. Yaani we come here for vocabulary lessons. Sawa tu.
    Great read as always. The guy is a good man, the kind many women want in their dreams but rare go for.

    My take on God being behind the pain and suffering the human race experiences: Tragedy is an integral part of life and every human being has his/her share of tragedy. It has nothing to do with our action or inaction. Not once has the good Lord promised us an easy life if we choose to follow Him. But He has promised grace and strength.

    May Mr. Man continue walking boldly in this journey he has chosen. I wish him well.

    2
    • Believers in Christ shouldn’t forget that we live in a fallen world…and this world is definitely not our home.
      One may go through worse disappointment, hurt, pain, grief when they’ve chosen to hop from the dark side to His marvelous light and kingdom, and this is simply because the devil has identified them as the enemy, and spiritual warfare and persecution is real.
      In all things we are victorious even when it feels like we’re not. Just keep your eyes on Christ and it will be well. Key word is grace…”His grace is sufficient for me.”

  • Kami
    30.04.2019

    I have learnt to enjoy this season of singlehood… Let him enjoy and grow in it; perhaps God is still working on him and her?
    Instead of asking ‘why me’ or ‘how long’, ask ‘how will I wait’, ‘who will I become along the way’, ‘who has God called me to be/what is God’s purpose for me’… In that journey, he will find his Ruth.

    3
    • WNM
      01.05.2019

      My oh my!!!
      What a story! What a read!
      Biko…. does Guy need a friend?

  • Chichi
    30.04.2019

    Maybe she just typed this 🙂

    • Wanjiru B
      30.04.2019

      Hahaha! Si I wait for Tuesdays! Si you write another one in the middle of the week. Si you enjoy your holiday kesho!

  • Mikel
    30.04.2019

    He is winner. No hookup needed. He will meet her. He should not be blind to keyhole(s) though

    1
  • cindy
    30.04.2019

    Yeah he will find his rid, likewise I also shall find mine by His grace of course.

  • Megga
    30.04.2019

    That was defined witness badgering

  • Kate
    30.04.2019

    Women just don’t do well supporting men.we just don’t.eventually you will start resenting that man.

    10
  • Ythera
    30.04.2019

    I also found out that he, too, was an ass man, after I found out that he wasn’t an ass

    I saw what you did there, hehe

    2
    • Konekta
      30.04.2019

      I have a sister.
      Her ass is the SI unit.
      I am not kidding.

      She loves Jesus completely
      She is the family type
      “Waaaiff” material with a capital W

      Where does Guy hang out?
      I want to tell her to pass pass by there
      When he sees her, I am almost certain that he will know her from behind

      2
      • You Guy
        30.04.2019

        Unfortunately she might want a bad boy. That’s how these types of ladies are wired.

  • Faith
    30.04.2019

    am here in the comments!

  • Chantal
    30.04.2019

    Nice read. I died here…..surely you’d get dizzy spells and, or, migraines and athlete’s foot? LOL.

    1
  • Rozzie
    30.04.2019

    I read this story, and it felt like reading my own story, everything except, for me, went back to my parents house. It is so hard to find a man of Faith. Let Grace bring you home.

    2
  • CK
    30.04.2019

    He had a keen sense of gym fashion before apparel was a thing. He knew he looked good. We knew he looked good.

    I didn’t like him.

    1
  • Very Blessed
    30.04.2019

    I know myself very well.
    But for the grace of God I am one of those “foolish” women who could have destroyed my family with my own hands if I had earned significantly more than my husband when I was in my twenties up to my late thirties.

    God had so much mercy on me and kept me off self destruction mode. He kept me completely broke for many years till the day I matured enough spiritually, emotionally and socially to handle the blessing of financial abundance.

    Now that I am earning millions more than the man who loved and treasured me when I had zero, I find myself loving and appreciating him more with every passing day.

    He stuck by me and our children and supported his and my parents and siblings tirelessly and with no grudge, giving his all for the family.

    Now that I have had opportunity to be a blessing to him and our entire family, I cannot thank God enough for granting me the privilege to do the necessary the same way I watched him do it over the years: tirelessly and with no grudge.

    This wonderful man of mine has taught me what real love is all about. I am forever indebted to him.

    As we go about the very serious business of living, never forget that

    No 1.
    Hii dunia ni duara

    No 2.
    Majuto ni mujuku, huja badaye

    39
    • Nana
      01.05.2019

      I’m glad you learnt your lessons
      We need people like you to speak up more… I’d be happy to get to know you

    • Kambua
      02.05.2019

      “No 1.
      Hii dunia ni duara

      No 2.
      Majuto ni mujuku, huja badaye.”

      6
      • Miriam
        04.05.2019

        Or maybe she just read this post

  • Trina
    30.04.2019

    Four years!! Celibate!? For Four Years!!? CHEII!!
    I feel so sinful being as I am.

    2
    • Anyango
      01.05.2019

      I am ready to help a brother out …: I know a someone who ticks the boxes beautifully

  • Bee
    30.04.2019

    ‘He was also categorical that he didn’t want someone who would want to have premarital sex.’
    Wow! There actually are such men!

    Hmmm… Having a common faith is wonderful, but both must be true to this common faith….

    If he’s Adventist I’d be interested…

  • Sukefrancis
    30.04.2019

    Marriage is something else. From what I hear. Can be great but then again it can go tits up. I think I’d better take my time in choosing the right person.

  • Phym
    30.04.2019

    I googled pugilist…

    But why and how do these ungrateful bitches get all the eligible men then blow it up?? That guy is the whole package for most women wanting to settle down…

    4
  • Bri
    30.04.2019

    ”It’s all fun and games until she is your girlfriend and not someone’s wife,” he said. “Now you are no longer stealing moments.” Forbidden fruits taste sweeter. So they say.

  • The Realist
    30.04.2019

    I’ll never look at the keyhole the same again 🙂

    Mr. ” guy”, .
    Love is a beautiful thing and you deserve it.
    May it come your way if not for anything else, for the fact that you’ve abstained for 4 years. (insert that emoji of **mikono juu**)

    2
  • chichi
    30.04.2019

    Wow av read this to bits..such a wonderful story.I pray it has a happy ending.
    God fearing ladies are there, let him pray about it, all will be well.
    To every single person God created a mate.

    1
  • Blossom
    30.04.2019

    Maybe it’s me? No really, maybe?
    Sigh.
    I guess we’ll never know.

  • Jayjey
    30.04.2019

    I am waiting for a happy marriage story

    1
  • Neyda
    30.04.2019

    Very nice read. That guy is so me. Big on faith and family and doing everything to make it work. And also the bit on premarital sex. And the bit on waiting for the right guy to find me. Almost 30 but sticking to my values no sex before marriage ever again.

    5
    • Details
      30.04.2019

      ‘Ever Again?’

      1
      • Dee
        02.05.2019

        When people don’t want pre marital sex it doesn’t mean that they are virgins, it only means that they have changed their ways. Go Neyda

        1
  • Ann
    30.04.2019

    It’s really sad how toxic people end up with good people only to destroy & destabilize them. And it’s amazing that guys can be patient enough to find the right woman. One of a kind! And Biko, your sense of humor is on anaa level… Ati picking strawberries from dessert with fingers in slo mo
    I pray he finds what he’s looking for.

  • Erastus
    30.04.2019

    used to listen to Tupac since biggie never went to the gym……………..haha nice one

  • Erastus
    30.04.2019

    used to listen to Tupac since biggie never went to the gym……………..haha nice one

  • Jackinda
    30.04.2019

    “To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.” Hahahaaha

    Wewe Biko lazma we huiva kiasi kabla ukalie iyo keyboard.

    Always a good read.

    • Bee
      30.04.2019

      This saying is causing a storm….didn’t get this saying…..maybe am the odd one here….or maybe am just slow….woi….

      • Jackinda
        30.04.2019

        Haha.. yeah, it’s a rather layered joke that one. Best explained in person. Fancy a drink Belle?

        • Bee
          30.04.2019

          🙂 allow me to pass …
          It has some overtones likely to suggest that it cannot be mentioned in the same line with ‘chastity’…

          Wacha niendelee tu na ushamba yangu…

          1
          • Jackinda
            30.04.2019

            Haha….bummer. Ningekuja na jembe tuendelee nayo pamoja lakini ni sawa. It’s all right.

            1
          • Bee
            30.04.2019

            Haha….
            Hii ushamba hauwezani nayo…….. You’d be lost…
            PS: I almost asked mbona niende out for a drink na niko na uji kwa nyumba?… 😀

            4
  • Neyda
    30.04.2019

    Good read. These articles on marriage have made me realise that I have such sexist views when it comes to marriage. I always think it’s the man’s fault because I’ve grown up with the notion that men always cheat and men always leave. Good to know evil in marriage is genderless.

    3
  • Nice one

    1
  • Akinyi
    30.04.2019

    Breathe!

  • IRENE WAMBUI ODHIAMBO
    30.04.2019

    This,

    “To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.”

    I am finished!!

    2
  • Ordia Akelo
    30.04.2019

    You got me laughing at “Stroooooong!” when you were struggling to complete your bench press…. and …. Badgering the witness…
    It’s always nice hearing/reading from you Biko

  • Edwin Lusi
    30.04.2019

    Maybe Biko ,maybe

    • Kioko’s
      01.05.2019

      You are on elephant’s side Biko!! Your way with words is on another level. Hope Mr. guy finds his true rib.

  • Evelyn
    30.04.2019

    “…or someone who picks her strawberry from her desert with her fingers in slow motion” . You know Biko, you need a lot of help. …and I second the thing of ‘No smileys’ here. Do something. Lol.

    • Jackinda
      30.04.2019

      These are his Toni Braxton fantos manifesting hahahah

      1
      • Ruth
        30.04.2019

        Good read…. Wishing him God’s abundance

      • Lydia
        01.05.2019

        Hahaha exactly

  • EDGAR ATINO
    30.04.2019

    You brought up his problem in the last statement, He is too nice, women love rogues, he needs to become a little bit of a rogue as it stands his doormat ways are destroying his game.

  • Chebs
    30.04.2019

    Nice read Biko. All the best Mr. Guy!.. I hope one day you will find love or vise-versa lol -:)

  • Beatie wavinya
    30.04.2019

    He definitely won’t get athletes’ foot while trying to avoid eye contact with key holes!! Man, you’re gross…

  • Ed
    30.04.2019

    Smh. Keyholes really??

  • Qren
    30.04.2019

    I’m sure she’s reading a meme

  • Dee
    30.04.2019

    Guy sounds interesting. I like a man who has gone through the fire and survived it. On pre-marital sex, we are together on that but i think I would be thrown out coz of a little sip here and there once in a while. Maybe I like to have fun {harmless kind with no touching}. I wish you well Guy and those of us looking for such kind of men as well.

    • Bone Thug
      30.04.2019

      I feel sorry for him. These days kuchovya chovya is unavoidable.

  • NIMO
    30.04.2019

    I moving to Mavuno from Sunday….

    1
  • Edna
    30.04.2019

    I hope and pray he finds what he is looking for..

    1
  • Shix
    30.04.2019

    From this blog to the universe really! Refreshing to see a man actively searching for one to marry and do this whole family thing. Dating in these streets is an extreme sport nowadays! Hope it works out for you sir 🙂

  • Xx
    30.04.2019

    Im always laughing at memes

    Regards,
    Xx

  • Stella
    30.04.2019

    a number of similarities to my case. . . Still going strong too. Lets keep the faith.

    • Kabugzz
      01.05.2019

      This read was sooooo gooooood (insert vlogger intonation). The world would be a better place if we stopped cherry-picking and found friends whom we would then marry.

      Marriage is about going all in, not 50-50, 100-100. (borrowed from my married friend).

  • Nali
    30.04.2019

    I’ll take him, especially if he’s 6.2″ plus

  • Wilma
    30.04.2019

    It’s cute that you’re playing aunt Truphena for your friend. It humanizes you.

  • Kanaka
    30.04.2019

    I like this guy. May he continue to wait upon God and get busy in His Vineyard. God will definitely make everything beautiful. he will indeed get him the woman who truly loves God and will love him too!

    1
  • wamuyu
    30.04.2019

    i like this…i applaud this guy on his commitment..May God get him smn for him

    1
  • D.K
    30.04.2019

    Nimekwama hapo kwa
    “I also found out that he, too, was an ass man, after I found out that he wasn’t an ass.”

    • Cathy
      30.04.2019

      Maybe she is in the comment section. Maybe it’s me.

      You’ll get her. She will feel you. You will feel her.

  • Carol
    30.04.2019

    Isn’t the universe a shitty place sometimes? Am not a man but from my situation I kinda feel where he is coming from. I know what it feels to touch someone trying to be intimate only for them to push you away like you have leprosy or something, staying up late nights wondering what wee hours he will show up today, trying to start a conversation only to be met by an angry face! You sit there and wonder if there is something wrong with you, you repent and pray to God to make things better but nothing is changing…then I come here and read this story and am asking myself if am being punished for something I did, and if I am for how much longer?

    2
    • Bee
      30.04.2019

      For a moment I thought you were giving my story.
      I’ve experienced this, and much more, including washing semen stains off his trousers……

      I’ll never forget the day I walked out. It was both a heart break and a rejuvenation…..a death and a rebirth happening simultaneously…..

      4
  • Peter
    30.04.2019

    A few GOOD Men

    1
  • Ms. Dee
    30.04.2019

    Lovely read.
    I truly hope he finds the kind of woman he’s looking for and deserves.

  • tinga tinga
    30.04.2019

    Mr Guy* is too nice……..so there is no excitement there. The minute he starts being a bad boy, he will attract those nice church-going ladies in the age bracket he wants, they will appreciate his bad boy ways and his broke ways. The minute he reverts to Mr. Nice guy, they will all flee. Sadly, the opposite is also true.

  • Sasha shaz
    30.04.2019

    Yaani you just had to say maybe she’s driving to see a doctor fot her annual pap smear? Haha I feel him. But money or rather finances is a really tricky topic especially between couples. And he’s not looking for premarital sex and he’s big on his faith, may the Lord bring such a man my way..

    1
    • Lucky
      30.04.2019

      Could connect him to someone I know.but I don’t how to connect people.or how to make hearts of two,cherish each other.plus am of lesser age than them.too bad.

  • Angy
    30.04.2019

    Maybe she goes to Mavuno *wink.

    All the best Guy

  • Wanjira
    30.04.2019

    Maaaaaan! I live for these blog posts. Is it next Tuesday already?

  • Carol
    30.04.2019

    My two cents to him“Look for a good person” A person who is respectful whether Christian or not, a person who is truthful because they choose it as a value to live by. An authentic individual who has values they stand for. That person will respect and help you uphold your values.
    But hey, what do I know.

    • Richard
      05.05.2019

      In addition to being a good looking, you must be a good person. Alot of men miss this component of life, so you want a good looking woman to be seen with and your spirit is unsettled. What is the win in this arrangement?

      4
  • Nyambura
    30.04.2019

    Awesome.Good to know that there are good men in this world willing to wait and simply allow God to be the guide in the whole relationship.Thank you for the setting a good example to fellow men.
    May out good lord make our paths to meet

    1
  • David G
    01.05.2019

    Biko,
    If you make less money than her, she goes “you broke mother*****, if she makes more money than you, ” I hate this s*** I don’t want to make all these decisions”. (Chris Rock, stand up). “What do these b***** want from a n*****, somebody let me know”. (DMX, musician).

  • Kambua
    01.05.2019

    Let go and let God. I know you will be just fine and I do hope you continue enriching your relationship with your son. Some women are just as selfish as men who are in their 40s and completely refuse to mature up.

    5
    • Triza Juma
      01.05.2019

      LOL, you are refering to those 40 year olds who play loud music, in their cars, wear skinny jeans and have friends 10 years younger than them so that the can feel secure? Lol, I know a few of those and it’s hilarious come to think about it.

      6
  • Miriam Mwangi
    01.05.2019

    “Kwani whose side are you on?”

    “Elephants,” I said
    Lol

  • Mwania
    01.05.2019

    Mr Guy….has his own issues. Like his performance in loin entertainment..he could be too insecure….. Mr Guy is not telling you the truth Biko. He is hiding behind religion to cover for his misgivings. Guy could be abstaining from key holes() but doing something else with Geisha.
    Biko…guy is not very straight. I can read him from Kinungi

    3
    • Meg
      01.05.2019

      Nice read! I would be interested to meet him. I guess I meet most of what he is looking for apart from age. But again compatibility is very crucial

    • Wanjiru
      01.05.2019

      “Mr Guy….has his own issues. Like his performance in loin entertainment..he could be too insecure….” Hahahahaahahahahahahahahaha

      5
  • Jay
    01.05.2019

    “Plus, he’s dark, I like light men.” This just got me laughing. But there are two sides to a story. Find the woman and get her version. I wish him well…5 year celibacy is no joke!

  • Creator22
    01.05.2019

    Avoiding eye contact with keyholes? Biko you can’t be serious. Crazy hilarious.

    Been celibate for a year now… Super hard.

  • Damsel
    01.05.2019

    Ati keyholes,,, kwenda uko Biko… Hahaaaa

  • Imani
    01.05.2019

    Biko, perhaps you should have a gig that will bring senior bachelors and spinsters together. Its really difficult to date after your first marriage since most of your age mates are married and the new singles are hiding in their jobs, gyms, homes. I’m 41 years, been single and celibate for 6 years. I believe that only God can fulfill your life whether single or married. I also know that I am complete with or without a companion, however I do desire to do life with someone. Consider this gig Biko, ama? Oh and by the way, we might “Crossroads” with Guy at Mavuno, who knows? ☺

    2
    • Wacuka
      02.05.2019

      Don’t settle for a divorcee, they have too much baggage. You would rather meet a guy through friends, they will have done the due diligence already. Thank me later.

      6
  • Ma'c
    01.05.2019

    I am here‍♀️

  • Mnn
    01.05.2019

    Athletes foot?! Really biko he is a rare species though

    • Njoki
      07.05.2019

      By last year October he had been celibate four years. (Still is, last I checked.) At first I said there is no way someone can be celibate for that long, surely you’d get dizzy spells and, or, migraines and athlete’s foot? He said it was easy, “the first year is the toughest.” To mean he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.

      stuck at “he even avoids eye contact with keyholes.

      I hope he finds his soul mate, his first wife was never meant for him, she was just a stepping stone to a great and happy union.. All the best man..
      Biko nice read there. Cheers

  • Joy
    01.05.2019

    Wow. That’s a really touching story to me. We pray God gives him someone at the right time seen fit by God.
    And he should never give up on God and on his principles. 🙂

  • Jay
    01.05.2019

    Biko, I would love to meet him. Kindly assist.

  • Kamau
    01.05.2019

    To all the ladies looking for a significant other, take a good look at the men in your friend zone. He might just be sitting there disguised as a friend. The good ones are always right in front of you. As it is said, the best things are often hidden in plain sight.

    1
  • Lenah
    01.05.2019

    Nice read!!!

  • Joshua kiogora
    01.05.2019

    You’re a great story teller. I love this piece, especially those aspects touching on Faith, because I’m skeptical about religion

  • Joanne Ogoya
    01.05.2019

    ohh a celibate man. A rare gem. In this era of sex first dates later this is very refreshing. I am interested. And faith is very important to me. Biko, ( Nigerian for please) – see what I did there?….ok hook me up.

  • Gacoki
    02.05.2019

    I like the story. May Guy prosper.

  • Kemesh
    02.05.2019

    May God lead you to your true love Guy.

  • Conny
    02.05.2019

    Love and light to him. He will eventually find his love bearing.

  • Tasha
    02.05.2019

    Sex is over-rated. He’s up to a good start and I hope he finds the right one.

    4
  • Sherry
    02.05.2019

    Men like you are rare. Abstaining takes more than just not having sex, it involves respecting yourself. There is more to life than shifting pants.

    5
  • Steve
    02.05.2019

    I once brought home a light skinned girl and later on my mother asked me, “My son you couldn’t find a dark skinned lady out there” Rest her soul, I did a few years after she passed. Different strokes for different folks.

    5
    • Timothy
      02.05.2019

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Aki Steve your mom and my mom are sisters.

      4
  • Gideon Crop
    02.05.2019

    You can never understand what some ladies want. Sometime they want the traditional macho man, some other time they want the down-to-earth nice man. You can’t understand them sometimes.

    • Njoki
      07.05.2019

      You can never crack this code called “What women really want” and there’s no manual on it.. Just live with them as they come, coz its kinda a hard but to crack…. Hahahahaahhaah…

  • Kawi
    02.05.2019

    This one hit home, because I have experienced almost something similar where I had huge hopes for a family and it just didn’t work out. But God is faithful, He has seen me through it.
    If you read this, the Word of God says that you will NEVER be ashamed so shame is not your portion. I applaud you as a man for being celibate for 4 years. God will give you an amazing wife, keep waiting on Him.

  • Val
    02.05.2019

    Hahhahahaha- eish this article has cracked me up. But seriously, a car MUST be test-driven. What if that is where the problem lies?

  • Oscar
    02.05.2019

    Sometimes the world has a mocking way of rewarding good men and good women. You give your all but on the other hand, you are fed a cup of pepper juice. You see, that thing turns your life red. And while you writhe in pain, your person goes around the corners of the world drinking, parting and hugging with strange men like frenzied baboons. But God in the heavens is a faithful God. When life brings you to your knees, He lifts you up to see a brighter tomorrow. And as they say, there’s someone for everyone. So you Guy…

    • Cathy Mbacha
      03.05.2019

      It’s called KARMA where I come from and it’s a satisfying effect.

      4
  • Christine
    02.05.2019

    Awesome.i have a perfect match for this guy..He is sorted

  • Gathonie
    02.05.2019

    Introducing Biko, the match maker.
    Alright,
    Build it up next week.
    You will be surprised what comes out of the comments section, or from people who are typing with ugali dried on their hands.

    Well in, Sir.

  • babayao
    02.05.2019

    lol

    1
  • Kimondo
    02.05.2019

    Faith is the substance of things hoped for.

  • Gidie
    02.05.2019

    Good read. I wish him luck, but his expectations are too high. At times the perfect match is what you both make it to be. Am still stuck at celibate for four years…how now?? And “To mean he even avoids eye contact with key holes” got me cracking

  • Oloile Africa Tours
    02.05.2019

    God will surely bring the right person at the right time to him. He is not a man that He should lie – God

  • Doris Mutema
    03.05.2019

    Achana na madem, focus on making money first. Relationships are not good when you are broke. It’s annoying. One is easily irritable for nothing, self esteem goes down with less than 5USD in the pocket.

    4
  • Shiku
    03.05.2019

    The grass is always greener on the other side but when you get there you realize you are supposed to be the gardener to keep it green…
    Might as well throw my hat in the ring

  • Kanda
    03.05.2019

    Well in, Biko!

  • Annabell
    03.05.2019

    I loved this part ”He was also categorical that he didn’t want someone who would want to have premarital sex. She’d have to be willing to go on dates and things but not try and take him to bed. ” Very few men can say that

  • harry
    03.05.2019

    from grass to grace….i love ur story.stand tall,stay celibate,God will provide.

  • Risper
    03.05.2019

    I am reading this quite late yaani, na vile opportunity knocks only once jameni!
    Anyhu, so according to your checklist up above:
    i am in the comments section (tick)
    i am not writing my resignation for the umpteenth time (Sigh)
    i am not driving for a pap-smear (sigh again)
    i am not at mavuno (sigh sigh sigh)
    i have not just done dishes (sigh sigh sigh sighest)
    i am not on leave (another sigh)

    Hmmm! Mr. very born again -turned around, priest of the home guy. Hapa sioni nikitoboa aki.

    One piece of advice though, and that which is very true, a wrong marriage will take you straight to hell. And Satan has learnt how to trap believers in this. You marry wrong, you end up carrying all manner of bitterness, resentment, hate, jealousy, the kind of stuff that defiles you heart and makes it impossible to fellowship and walk with God.
    Do not be anxious for nothing guy, even this marriage thing. Do not allow yourself to be anxious over anything, but in all things, through prayer and supplication, make your requests known to God. He is a good father, he has not forgotten you. And when the time is right, God will definitely bless you with a partner. All those things you list will not matter then. Meanwhile concentrate on fellowship with God, so that when Satan brings any distractions, the Holy Spirit will quicken you to walk away. All the best guy, men like you are a rare gem. The decision you have made to stay holy and celibate is a noble one, and the Lord shall surely reward you accordingly.

    PS: Bado uko na misuli 🙂

    3
    • Ms.Dee
      04.05.2019

      In deed marry wrong and hell on earth is your portion… I like the misuli quiz… A gal gotta ask.

      1
    • Nitimo
      04.05.2019

      Risper… You had to sign out with that misuli line?? Una mistari kweli

  • Kevin Kipketer
    03.05.2019

    Marrying the right person is more important than getting married before 30!

    5
  • Njeri
    03.05.2019

    ❤️

  • Moraa
    04.05.2019

    send him my way Biko….

  • Benson Mbocha
    04.05.2019

    Marriage based on all the wrong values is bound to go to the crapper faster than dondo ya kibandaski.Sadly, issues to do with money have brought many marriages to a grinding halt because this is a conversation that was not had with sincerity from the word go , it is one of those proverbial chickens from the air brushed version of “where do you see yourself in five years” talk that come home to roost eventually. faith too is a litmus test to not be fucked with you either have it or do not because you will be tested in marriage it is safe to have somewhere to cool your tongues even if it is just a make believe version of a higher power you need it and it needs to be mutually agreed upon. Without faith and clarity of who we are we do dick measuring in the house who has more money is the pied piper and for a man and his ego regardless of faith can only prance along to the piper’s tune for so long before he breaks. Utapata mchumba ndugu but know you have to be whole yourself before anyone else can come to add a to your cup(however cliche this sounds I have found it to be personally true.. .no one should ever complete you, you complete you and others just come to complete your awesomeness.

    1
  • Nitimo
    04.05.2019

    I have been in the same(underline the word same) situation as that guy and yes she maybe in the comments section for myself too.

    2
  • Nix
    04.05.2019

    Ahem… i think I’ve just subscribed to celibacy for the sake of my peace abi

  • Richard
    05.05.2019

    It’s always better to be alone than with the wrong person.

    4
    • Steve
      06.05.2019

      One of the best comments I have read. “It’s always better to be alone than with the wrong person.”

      2
  • Rita
    05.05.2019

    I rarely feel sorry for men who go through shit, I can almost bet my tuition fees that he has not been honourable when it comes to many women and it’s just payback. He has played with women’s hearts and the one who plays him had to be the mother of his child. Karma!

    6
    • Mike
      05.05.2019

      C’mon Rita! Drop those lemons

      • Tony
        05.05.2019

        May God grant em what they’ve been waiting for

      • Tasha
        07.05.2019

        She has a point. What lemons are you referring to @Mike?

  • Lucia
    06.05.2019

    Am here, wanting another shot at marriage

  • John Odhiambo
    06.05.2019

    MAN..: Your Pieces..Touching man..You feel like you are the person in the story..Be Blessed

  • Hellen Sabwa
    06.05.2019

    My Guy, where can you be found? I would rather date a broke guy than a serial cheater. Because cheating is in your DNA.

    1
    • Bolton
      07.05.2019

      “He heard she broke up with the man because, well, it’s all fun and games until she is your girlfriend and not someone’s wife,” he said. “Now you are no longer stealing moments.”

  • Agal
    06.05.2019

    hahahah @ Biko kumbe this ”Si” thing can break homes ……deep

  • tinker bell
    06.05.2019

    waiting for the wedding bells

  • FIONA RUTERE
    07.05.2019

    God’s timing is the best. May he find find whatever his soul seeks.

  • Tresh
    08.05.2019

    Anything is possible

  • shazza
    09.05.2019

    whats really magical here is the love story between you Biko, and Guy.
    ps. the comment section is mad, took me a full minute of frantic scrolling to get here. are his future wives all commenting?
    maybe she is me, at the office right now, snacking on peanuts, wondering when the hell ill meet a nice *faithful* man of faith. but it probably wont work out with the whole not sampling the goods thing. i would want to sample those biceps before i locked him down.

    1
  • martin
    10.05.2019

    Or maybe she doesn’t exist….maybe…

  • Nimu
    11.05.2019

    Well Biko, when he ‘cherry picks’ girls that’s what you get. It’s so tiring to hear the story where the guys ignores other girls that may not be diva pretty but may have the right values, then things go south and all of a sudden he is the victim. From the story the guy is the victim throughout. Not once did he acknowledge what he might have supplemented in the relationship for the lack of financial contribution. He also sounds vane from the obsession with the biceps. The guy seems superficial tbh. Does he deserve the girl he is looking for? Other than money does he have anything else to offer? Jeez!

  • Bonface
    12.05.2019

    Biko that’s the real life around the clock. Biceps @ 19

  • E.
    14.05.2019

    The most encouraging read in a while….that there are men out there practicing celibacy and are willing to work on raising a family, often deemed as a woman’s responsibilty. I wouldn’t mind meeting this one, Great read Biko.

    1
    • Bree W
      15.05.2019

      I am here! Very serious Biko, hook a girl up!

  • Ron
    14.05.2019

    Why dark chocolate?!

  • Aggie
    16.05.2019

    i know the perfect lady. big on faith. will never ever pull the strawberry stuff and is only waiting until marriage

    • Hershey
      18.05.2019

      Guy* call me.

  • Kate
    16.05.2019

    Maybe am the one!

  • Lizzie
    21.05.2019

    In due time God will give him just the right woman.

  • Ngaruiya
    22.05.2019

    Eh, at this rate many a singlestance boy-child specie, could really do with a well deserved mention on your blog, Biko. Consider their plea.

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