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The Gift

Posted on 156 183

The millenial sticks her head around the door to my office. I have headphones on, which is the universal sign for “do not disturb”, but this is a millennial; they care not about the universe. This one is called Becky Genga. She has big imposing hair, a very big, black mane that rises like the shadow of a baobab. She likes cake and sweet things. She also has a sweet wit. I reluctantly pause Stephen Colbert and pull up one side of my headphones to allow her words to get through. “Do you have a moment?” She asks how I choose my interviewees. I drape my headphones around my neck like a used towel and give her the long “man eat dog” analogy. Then she says she thinks her sister would make a good story. I ask why she thinks so. She says, “Because she’s 40-years old and she’s a virgin.”

Well, Stephen Colbert can wait for much longer.

“Why is she a virgin at 40?”  I ask her.

She shrugs and says she doesn’t quite know why but suspects it’s something to do with her steadfastness in church. Also, it’s not a subject that she would easily broach with her given that she’s the last born of a family of seven and between her and her sister is a 13-year gap. I tell her that I can interview her but only if she is willing to use her name and not a pseudonym. She says, “Let me ask her,” then steps out into the balcony in the bright mid-morning sun. Through the glass wall I see her leaning against the railing, phone pressed against her ear, mouth moving, nodding, listening, shifting her weight from one leg to the other, walking to the corner of the balcony, looking four floors below, back turned to me. She is gone for a few minutes. Eventually she comes back and says, “She has agreed. Her name is Dorine Genga.”

Blue was a colour favoured by the blessed mother – the Virgin Mary. It is said that the Virgin Mary is iconically depicted to be wearing a red outer garment and a blue undergarment, representing how she carried divinity (Jesus) within her humanity. Goes to show how unoriginal fashion is, because the Virgin Mary was colour blocking long before you even knew what that was. This colour, which has been associated with the Virgin Mary in christian art for the past thousand years or so, is called Marian Blue. It’s a sacred colour and it reminds us of Mary’s faithfulness. I know all this not because I go to church but because I googled “what is the colour of virginity?” Google is extra, yeah?

 

Well, when I finally met Dorine at Mediterraneo Restaurant in Gigiri, she wasn’t in Marian Blue but in a purple dress and purple lipstick. Purple, is derived from mixing red and blue, if I remember correctly. Biblically, purple is obtained by mixing red (flesh) and blue (word of God) and the result is royalty. In darker hues it suggests magic and mystery. It’s also associated with luxury, ambition, wisdom, dignity, grandeur, devotion and pride. Purple may also represent sexual frustration or a need to appear unorthodox, and is apparently a favourite colour of artists, which might suggest that artists are sexually frustrated, which is cock. Anyway, the internet is like the Bible, you can interpret it in any way that floats your boat.

 

Dorine doesn’t look sexually frustrated as she sits there and orders sparkling water and juice and I order chicken pizza. I came with expectations, of course. You would too. I thought that a 40-year old virgin would speak very softly. Would take time to chew over questions. Would laugh in a low tone, like a brood of mating doves. I thought a 40-year old virgin would not call me “chocolate man,” because that kind of thing is only the province of lost sheep wandering the vast wasteland of sin and debauchery.

 

To be clear, she’s more than a 40-year old virgin. She’s a sister, a friend, a daughter, an aunt. She is a professional too; she works for a development donor agency in Gigiri. She makes important decisions. She probably has her own tray with a thermos flask in her office, and a printer. Maybe even her name on her door. Yes, but let’s not pretend that we want to know a lot about how the donor development works. What we want to know is the “why” because we know the “how” the “when” and the “what”.  We want to know how one can keep their virginity for all these years in this day and age of the very persuasive and amorous men who send women pictures of their penises as a highly sophisticated art of seduction.

 

Have you noticed that when your pizza comes you look at it and think it won’t satisfy you but when you eat two slices you already feel so full? Is it the cheese or what? Pizza is not a meal, it’s a trick.

 

Dorine has always been faithful in church. Actually since she was 18-years old. She’s a church girl, through and through. She says, “The conscious decision was and has always been to not engage in premarital sex. You want to be in a relationship that’s fulfilling and progressive. And there wasn’t a point at which, uhm, I would say I felt like I needed to give myself away sexually. It was harder in my 30s, to fight off that temptation, but the fact is that I now feel like my virginity is a part of me that’s really special that I need to give to somebody who I want to honour. I think for me it’s important to go through this process, the traditional stuff, all the way to the altar. Then I will basically have tested my character in such a way that I have a good foundation on which to build that marriage. And so at that point, I feel like I will be able to unwrap this gift that I’ve been, quote unquote, keeping safe for this particular person.”

 

I groan a little and shift in my chair, not because of the pizza (which is okay, really) but because of the word “gift.” I tell her, “You know how gifts work, right? So, sometimes it’s your birthday and then someone, a loved one, gives you a gift that they think will blow you away, but then you unwrap it and you find out it’s a tie or a belt. But the belt is not your type of belt, it’s a terrible belt. You know you will not want to wear this belt again as long as you have a pulse. That’s how gifts sometimes work. Question is, don’t you worry that this person might not like this gift you have kept so well for him?”

 

She laughs. “Well, yes and no,” she says. When someone says “yes and no,” be ready, they are going to talk for hours.

 

“Yes, because of what people say.”

 

“And what do people say?”

 

“I mean, I work in an environment that’s very liberal and people always say that one has to ‘test drive’ a car before they buy it and I’m like, I’m not a car. Yes, so what if the other person does not appreciate it? Well, if this is the package that you want, you’ll take this package as it is, and work with it. My belief and my understanding of meaningful relationships is that they are about a set of values that you have and share. And so if the gift I give you is gonna cost me so much that I lose my own sense of value and sense of well-being, then it’s too costly.”

 

I chew on my pizza. She’s having some crazy juice that has beetroot. I try to avoid beetroot juice because when I pee the next morning I pee red.

 

“Would you feel devalued if you chose to have sex with somebody you liked and it didn’t go anywhere?” I ask her. If they dated for a year and one day he got posted to Dodoma where there is no wifi and no means to keep the relationship afloat and he sent an email with the title; I write this with a heavy heart, because he was those guys who starts writing an email from the subject, which should have been the first sign that the relationship was not going to go anywhere. Would you feel devalued?’

 

“I probably would,” she says.

 

“What if you enjoyed the sex?” I press on.

 

She pauses. “I think I would probably still feel devalued because my conscience would kick in and the sense of guilt is what would make me feel devalued. And I feel like more and more, there are a lot of conversations to silence that conscience and that guilt, which I think is a very dangerous thing because it permeates into other areas and you don’t realize it.”

 

“So does this voice grow louder or quieter the older you get?” I ask.

 

“The voice to stay committed?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Depends on the season,” she laughs. “Season meaning my frame of mind. If everything is fine and dandy and I’m happy, I really don’t want to compromise on my values. But when I am in a place of neediness and stuff is not working out and I’m looking for some emotional crutch, so to speak, it’s easy to think, ‘it wouldn’t be so bad to get…’”

 

She dates. Men. She says that she dates men of the “same persuasion”. I like that expression, haven’t heard it in a minute; the same persuasion. To mean men of her own spiritual and social beliefs. She never dated in university because she felt that those were not men but “boys.” She has met and dated a couple men from her work circles, but most have been men of the church. She has dated men who started respecting her faith as they respected their own. Dating for her, she told me, is like dating for anybody else who is not in church or not a virgin; coffee and dinner and sitting at corner tables and laughing at jokes and talking about “riparian” or “SANY” or her interests or his golfing or whatever it is that Kenyans talk about on dates. I always imagined that churchfolk only talk about prophets in the Bible and King David and the miracle Jesus performed with five loaves of bread and a couple of fish. I was not too surprised to learn that just like us, most church guys also perhaps look at their dates in a manner likely to suggest that they want to do unchristian things to them. That they also secretly stare at their date’s posterior as she walks away to go powder her nose in the washroom, clutch purse tucked under her arm.

 

“Of course there are men from my faith who started wanting and expecting more after a while. Some get physical, wanting to touch and kiss and just can’t keep their hands off me. At this point I always know that our values are different and that’s the point to part. Not all the church men I have dated are like this, of course, but a good number of them have been, in my experience, two-faced.”

 

She also gets younger men who chase her. “Because they know where you work, they think you make good money and imagine that you must be very lonely and desperate. That you need someone to warm your bed. So they really don’t bring anything to the table other than the saviour mentality. On the first coffee date they sit back and expect you to pay, they want to borrow your car and expect you to cook for them. I’m always like, ah-ah, that doesn’t work for me.”

 

She believes in what the Bible says about chastity; to keep the marriage bed holy.

 

“The bible says that we should not defile the marriage bed, which I see in two ways. I see it in faithfulness in marriage and the second way that sex is spiritual as it is physical and emotional. When you go out and have sex with three or five people before marriage, you’re basically bringing those people spiritually with you to your matrimonial bed,” she says. “I also do a bit of mentoring and counselling and I’ve seen some of that. Many times I’ve seen that if somebody who goes through a rape ordeal doesn’t go through the process of counseling well, they get promiscuous. Which in a sense you would not expect them to. And so it’s like whoever they connected with in whatever state or form left something in them that draws them to others, for lack of a better way of explaining it.”

 

“Would you be open to marrying someone who has had multiple partners?” I ask.

 

“Yes,” she says.

 

“But wouldn’t they be bringing history and different spirits to your matrimonial bed?”

 

“They would, but the other thing is it’s not the only value that brings you to the table, right? That might have been your experience before, in your past, and hopefully you have learned from it, and have sort of rethought how you approach the whole issue of sex. If we have the same mindset now, we can work.”

 

I give up on my pizza. Three tables away a caucasian man is literally almost smelling the neck of his date, an Asian lady in her late 40s. There are four cars in the parking, one is mine, one is Dorine’s and the other two are red plates, which means it’s Friday off for these two and Mediterraneo seems like a good quiet place for this guy to make good his case. He seems to be doing okay; the lady is all smiles, giving him a lot of attention, laughing at his jokes.

 

I want to ask Dorine about her hymen but I’m looking for a window to throw it in casually. I ask her if her body reminds her in any way that she lacks sex? She says, “The doctors really are not clear about this but they say that the womb needs a child as one grows older and if it doesn’t get a child by a certain age it starts to create its own, that’s why I have fibroids. Other doctors say my fibroids are a result of my diet.”

 

I ask about her hymen and whether she believes that as one grows older it gets harder to break. This is according to the street gynaecologists that we all meet in the bars, chaps who have never studied gynecology but seem to know a hell lot about the hymen and what makes it tough. “I don’t have a hymen,” she says, “I lost it during one of the surgeries to take care of my fibroids.”

 

“You broke your hymen in a hospital,” I say. “How romantic!”

 

She chuckles. She says she was under anesthesia when the hymen was being broken anyway and was only told by the gynae when she woke up that they needed to break it. But it’s not the hymen that makes you a virgin. There are many types of virgins. Even those who practice secondary virginity. If there are men out here practicing secondary virginity, do you mind raising your hands, please? Don’t be shy now.

 

She gets sexual urges. “Especially when I see a fine brother that’s hanging around,” she says. I ask, hanging around? In church? “Do you sit in your pew and watch some guy play the piano, stare at his hands stroke the keys of the piano, as he sings some Psalms? Do you feel something, just staring at Mr. Long Fingers handle that piano?”

 

She laughs and says no. She then bursts my bubble and says that she is actually attracted to the mind of a man. [Yawn]. She is a sapiosexual. She likes a man to stimulate her mind, someone she can have intelligent conversations with. “Somebody with good language and diction, like, can you present, can you show up in a big way,” she says. “Somebody who believes in something beyond them. Because you can strum the guitar and sing me a song and it will pass. But somebody with whom I can have long conversations, that’s likely to last longer.  Then there’s more of a mind-spirit connection than just physical.”

 

So in short she has been making love with her mind, not her body? I ask. She protests. “Ha-ha, what a weird way to put it. Gosh. I wouldn’t repeat it.”

If this profile fits you, then you are the kind of man she is open to. He has to be dark. So you light fellows who use sunscreen, please, kindly sit on those seats at the back. Thanks for coming. I have just noticed writing this that this completely disqualifies Otile Brown. He should also not be short, at least not shorter than her because she’s “short enough for the both of us.” She also doesn’t like very tall men. Maybe because they will block her sun. It would be really nice if you have a job but even if you don’t, you have a plan. She wants someone with a vision, not someone who just wings it. Someone she can listen to speaking and think, “My goodness, what is he saying?” She wants someone of the same – wait for it – spiritual persuasion. Because her hope is that they can pray together, go to church together, raise their children with the same values that are based on the understanding of salvation. She also wants someone who values education, who won’t be intimidated when she gets a “Dr.” title before her name.

But she can negotiate. Which means she might be persuaded if you meet all these but you are light-skinned. (Unfortunately Otile Brown still doesn’t make the cut, though. He isn’t of the same spiritual persuasion.) She can look away if you don’t exactly have a 10-year plan, maybe five. But the one thing she won’t compromise is the faith. That is the motherboard, everything sits there.

“Does it get lonely? Do you sometimes want to be held and have someone whisper things (not all clean) in your ear?”

She laughs. “It has its moments, yes. But for the most part I’m content, peaceful, happy, I actually like my life. I feel like I’m working in a sector that’s making meaningful contribution to the people. I feel like in my own little way, with the ladies that I mentor, I’m contributing positively in their lives. So if I become a forever spinster, a 55- year old virgin, then so be it.” She then adds, “I made a conscious decision not to get to a place of desperation. I made the decision in my thirties not to stress looking to fulfill one small aspect of my life when there is a lot of it that is working. My life can’t be about the missing small piece. It’s like saying my life can’t move on because I don’t have the Range Rover I’ve always wanted.”

“Do you ever wonder what happens if this guy you are keeping your virginity for never shows up?” I ask her.

“Yes. It’s a possibility.”

“What happens then?”

“Nothing happens. Singlehood is not a disease,” she says.

I leave and I go to Village Market to meet a friend for a drink and she asks who I was interviewing and I tell her that it was a 40-year old virgin and she asks why she is a 40-year old virgin and I tell her that it’s because she has a gift and she’s yet to meet someone who is worthy of that gift. She sighs and thoughtfully stirs the crushed ice in her drink with a wooden stirrer. “She’s a unique one,” she says. I signal the waiter and order a stiff one.

156 Responses
  • Mukiri
    18.09.2018

    This sounds like a sermon.

    8
  • Migwi
    18.09.2018

    I chew on my pizza. She’s having some crazy juice that has beetroot. I try to avoid beetroot juice because when I pee the next morning I pee red.

    7
  • Migwi
    18.09.2018

    I chew on my pizza. She’s having some crazy juice that has beetroot. I try to avoid beetroot juice because when I pee the next morning I pee red.

    2
  • Muthoni
    18.09.2018

    I was a 27 year old virgin when I gave the gift, thank God he is worth the gift…I feel her, I would do it again till 55 if fate dictated.

    53
  • Mark
    18.09.2018

    …sometimes it’s your birthday and then someone, a loved one, gives you a gift that they think will blow you away, but then you unwrap it and you find out it’s a tie or a belt.

    Once upon a time, someone gave me a gift. It was a pen. What do you do with a pen in this age of typing everything? I don’t know but it was a fine pen. I often think that the gifter would have got me a sword but he thought, “Nah. The pen is mightier than the sword.”

    Cool story, Biko. I hope Dorine finds someone worthy.

    44
    • Mukiri
      18.09.2018

      I think she is lost.
      Plus her hymen is broken, already.

      11
      • Nyambu
        18.09.2018

        Look at the big picture!!!! It’s not about the hymen per se. The hymen is just collateral; secondary to the main thing(s); namely her values.

        16
      • Anon
        18.09.2018

        Hymen is not equivalent to virginity and did you know that there are people born with no hymen? also, as people grow older, the hymen disappears. Do your research. Thanks

        23
      • Z
        18.09.2018

        Eish!!!! What do you mean she lost? Nowhere did it say it was a contest/race. Look at the big picture.
        Too many millenials on today’s post.

        24
      • Mark
        18.09.2018

        She’s not lost.
        She knows who she is and who she’s waiting for.

        She’s more enlightened than most.

        Plus, if she was lost, we’d be looking for her, no?

        66
        • The ice cream man.
          18.09.2018

          She’s different. In a way I can’t even begin to understand. I admire her.

          17
        • Rita Musembi
          19.09.2018

          These are the empty and broken lot that equate Sex to everything.

          11
        • Lucy
          23.09.2018

          Plus, if she’s lost we’d be looking for her, no? Hihihi chills Mark

          5
  • KuiThuo
    18.09.2018

    Wow…i respect and admire her sentiments.

    4
  • christine
    18.09.2018

    Finished reading and I immediately thought of Ayn Rand’s main characters in all her books…I thought they dont/cant exist..seems they do..people who stand up for values

    4
  • Paul
    18.09.2018

    I am definitely not shy, but I honestly have no idea what “practising secondary virginity” means…
    Wishing Dorine all the best.

    1
    • Peas in Pods
      18.09.2018

      I think it means being a virgin even though technically you aren’t. For example, when someone is raped yet they were virgins, since they didn’t give up their virginity through their consent, they will remain to be secondary virgins. I hope I made sense

      3
      • Black Panther
        18.09.2018

        It actually means recommitting to celibacy until marriage, after you had already already been enjoying premarital sex.

        17
  • Irene
    18.09.2018

    Yawns! Virginity is nothing much but a stupid hymen………… get over it already……….. it was broken in hospital……… Eish! You are not a virgin physically anymore……… duh!!!?

    1
    • Zay
      18.09.2018

      Irene, why the bitterness surely. Let her be. All of us women don’t have to be the same.
      Too much bile in your comment.

      141
    • Victor
      18.09.2018

      What you fail to understand is that it’s not only about the hymen! Her virginity is physical, emotional and spiritual. Let her be!
      I respect the fact that at 40, she still hasn’t fallen into desperation.
      All the best Dorine.

      43
    • You can break your hymen while riding a horse or even squeezing in a tampon, but as long as you haven’t had sex you’re still a virgin.

      42
    • Irene
      20.09.2018

      You just had to my namesake. Why?

      5
    • Evans
      25.09.2018

      she has something that is special and unique,i guess its true when they say women are their number one biggest enemies

      6
  • Githinji Mwaniki
    18.09.2018

    My concern is on the very fact that gifts work in mysterious ways. Just because you giving one doesn’t mean it’ll be appreciated as you’d want, and getting one one doesn’t always fit what you thought it’d be.
    But then again it’s a gift, the heart of the giver it’s in the right place, and mostly that’s all that matters.

    30
    • Imelda
      18.09.2018

      I just hope her expectations are within good reason. That this guy will come with flaws and that they won’t be smoothed out just because…

      3
  • Chico
    18.09.2018

    Well written…and what an incredible human being! Dorine Genga, 40 and a virgin..well done you!

    11
  • Z
    18.09.2018

    Some of us here are bringing a whole party to our matrimonial beds
    Indeedy!!!! She is the one-in-a-million kinda woman ; talk of values.
    Wale wa secondary virginity wasimame pale kwa gate please

    21
  • Wesh - Peter Wesh
    18.09.2018

    It is not good to make sapiosexual jokes. Here is a sapiosexual joke.

    Her: I am exhilarated that thee mounteth me so well my lord.

    Him: Oh dear. I seem to be peaking!

    Cheesy right?

    It is very unusual to hear of a 40-year old virgin. I am just surprised at the commitment Dorine has to her decisions. You on the other hand can’t seem to even commit to finishing a single Pizza. No shade intended.

    Good read as usual.

    73
    • KIKI
      18.09.2018

      ..mounteth..
      ..peaking..
      Terrible

      3
    • The Granny's Corner
      18.09.2018

      Lots of shade Wesh. You should give Biko Whiskey and see how committed he can be. I would say he drinks like a fish but somebody would say it is probably the water they drink. Weird.

      3
  • Nyambu
    18.09.2018

    Wait till you see how some women will bring their bile here, hate-o-rade will just spew….just wait and see nah!!!!
    Dorine just do you hun…..even when you get to sigixty……just do you….

    14
  • Manamana
    18.09.2018

    Someone asked me, “do you know Stephen Colbert” and I asked them “Do penguins have knees?”

    10
    • Faith Cera
      24.09.2018

      Hahaha, this is a good one

  • Shilla
    18.09.2018

    “My belief and my understanding of meaningful relationships is that they are about a set of values that you have and share.”

    That’s Gem!

    16
  • Stained Soul
    18.09.2018

    Tried secondary virginity and that was hard, couldn’t wait to get married, our courtship was six years. Succeeded though, the marriage is supercool.About fibroids check out this link https://ask4ufe.com/why-do-black-women-suffer-the-most-from-uterine-fibroids/ it also surprised me.

    9
  • Anon
    18.09.2018

    I am almost hitting 35 and yet to have sex (I strongly dislike the word virgin). Not for religious reasons ( I hardly go to church and have questions about religion) or because I am keeping it as a gift *rolls eyes* but just coz sex has not happened. However, I strongly dislike how people like to wave virginity in the faces of others like it is such a great achievement so I never even tell anyone about it. Also, I wonder why people like getting preachy about it like they are better than those who lost their virginity earlier. Well, good for Dorine but I feel like we as a society put too much emphasis on things that, in my opinion, don’t even matter. *This is strictly my opinino*

    43
    • Becky
      22.09.2018

      I am interested in knowing why haven’t you had sex yet ?

    • Pat pati
      23.09.2018

      It’s very good to choose chastity. Naturally, in many societies, people are expected to marry between 18 and 30. If you are pushed by other factors such as building personal profile, like say education, it’s agreed. The same doctrine that advocates chastity advocates people to marry at an agreeable age. Failing to marry then may point to a problem. It may mean you are unable to mingle with people of the opposite gender. What’s the use of burning with desire when all doors are open?

      1
    • Kidamakana
      28.09.2018

      I am turning 33 and I am yet to have sex either! For the same reasons that you mentioned above
      Honestly, the shock from the few people I have shared this with made me question if there was anyone else like me, then Lo and Behold! There are others

      2
  • Ng'endo
    18.09.2018

    wow! She is a strong one. The only thing I have admired about her is her undying faith! I want that

    4
  • Zay
    18.09.2018

    Mukiri what do you mean she lost? *Major Eye-Roll*
    Look at the big picture!!!! It’s not about the hymen per se. The hymen is just collateral; secondary to the main thing(s); namely her values.

    7
  • Val
    18.09.2018

    The fact that she can be me in a minute and i can never be her even in a million years makes me humble.

    Go girl- Hope you meet someone who is worth the gift or if not, someone who will unwrap the gift in unforgettable ways. hehehhehehe

    72
  • Shee
    18.09.2018

    Honestly I feel like Dorine is the older version of me,,,
    The things she believes in are the same things i believe in…
    I think she was talking about soul ties when she said this
    “The bible says that we should not defile the marriage bed, which I see in two ways. I see it in faithfulness in marriage and the second way that sex is spiritual as it is physical and emotional. When you go out and have sex with three or five people before marriage, you’re basically bringing those people spiritually with you to your matrimonial bed,” she says. “
    well I wish her all the very best,good thing is that she is a happy woman and she doesn’t find being single a disease…

    18
  • ngunish
    18.09.2018

    wooooooooooooooooooooooooooow, singlehood is not a disease

    7
  • Mohasyno
    18.09.2018

    I do not know how to review this post. Does she sense despair when she finally doesn’t meet the right guy who floats her boat and has the same set of values as does? She doesn’t appear to. One lesson I learn from her; she has something, a resolute purpose she lives for, it doesn’t matter how liberal the world is. She has clear expectations. May God bless her with the right man.

    8
  • angie
    18.09.2018

    “Singlehood is not a disease” If only everyone believed this, but people are different in ways they are reluctant to embrace expect for you Dorine. You are something else. So good for you.
    Though, I hope you know sex is also a learning experience. It doesn’t have to be immoral.
    You have to test out to find out what you like, what you hate, what you want. It’s about empowerment. It’s not just a gift you give, you also have to be willing to take, gifts are often shelved to gather dust. For a relationship to work there has to be more than shared beliefs. Chemistry and passion is also important, make sure that’s included in your check boxes Ms. Genga.

    11
  • clif the tall
    18.09.2018

    I once heard someone say, ” I’m proud to be a virgin and i will remain a virgin till i die because i want to be a good example to my children. ” Nilichoka.

    Regarding this virginity storo, imagine if someone handed you a box of the items you have lost through out your life. How would that make you feel? Priceless? Right? There is something special about that.

    Ohhhhh, you can’t be bad at sex if you are always a virgin. Right? Hahaha.

    28
  • Raha
    18.09.2018

    much respect Dorine!

  • Eunice
    18.09.2018

    Men with light skin, sit at the back, thank you for coming.. hahaha
    I am definitely of the same spiritual persuasion…… I think it is a beautiful thing , staying celibate for that one man who is deserving of the gift.

    2
  • mumo
    18.09.2018

    “I made the decision in my thirties not to stress looking to fulfill one small aspect of my life when there is a lot of it that is working. My life can’t be about the missing small piece. It’s like saying my life can’t move on because I don’t have the Range Rover I’ve always wanted.”

    There is no better way of saying this!

    18
  • Wangechi
    18.09.2018

    “You broke your hymen in a hospital,” I say. “How romantic!”…Really?!!

    I honestly didn’t buy all that but all the best to her.

    2
  • sam n
    18.09.2018

    Mmmh, I don’t know what to say about this. But without a doubt, some of us are carrying many spirits from past relationships. Way too many!

    2
  • Bittok
    18.09.2018

    It is inspiring to find people like her who still these biblical values. I wish her well and may God bless her with a good and deserving partner. Good post

    8
  • The Granny's Corner
    18.09.2018

    That thing about fibroids and an older body demanding children, I am not sure. The first person who I came across with fibroids was in her mid-twenties. 10 years ago.

    But Biko seriously, how do you put together the voice of a virgin and the sounds made by mating doves? They are already mating.

    But some of those guys she dated from the church, the two-faced ones, they took the form of that robot bee on the profile of this post. They have everything in the right place and all is clear. Even that stinging thing at the rear is very defined. But they are synthetic. For a purpose. To be gifted.

    6
  • SKY
    18.09.2018

    Oh gosh! As if it’s a terrible thing. As if it’s commendable thing.

    We are all different. She has picked an area most of us wouldn’t pick – but that just makes her another human being, for we all pick our own special areas.

    Does it make her special in a particularly positive way? Not in my world. But the unbending resolve, her stubbornness despite the odds, is admirable.

    From my persuasion, I think she’s extreme. From a middle-aged man’s perspective, virginity is overrated, and troublesome and ache-some to get rid of. A gift while 40? Not by any chance, but it speaks volumes about certain aspects of the person’s character.

    And she’s not sapiosexual: she doesn’t seem sexual at all, and is probably asexual. Yet some people are like that, which is not their doing, and is alright.

    Just another thought, maybe related. Active avoidance of sex doesn’t necessarily mean kind, honest, trustworthy, etc. To know that, you have to bore into the person….

    13
    • Nelly
      18.09.2018

      Lol.
      To be fair, virginity doesn’t- or shouldn’t define someone. But a lot of things shouldn’t define us yet that doesn’t stop humanity. Think of the rich man, the poor man, the educated woman, the fat child… these are all qualifications that don’t tell us much about the character of the person- ideally- yet I’m sure you can name a person from each of these descriptions.
      To the main point: You missed it. You missed the point. She’s not merely ‘avoiding’ sex. To her, it’s an act of obedience; of faith. So many people ‘believe’ in certian things, but when it comes to actually doing something about it the beliefs are thrown out of the window. I’d like to belive that her active faith transcends different areas of her life and not just her love life. Over 80% of Kenyans identify as christians. If we all actually did what we claim we believe, corruption levels, for example, would be the opposite of what they’re are now, because stealing is forbidden by God, as is adultry.
      Lastly, you clearly don’t understand what the term sapiosexual is, because she fucking embodies it. 🙂

      8
    • Bourgeois
      20.09.2018

      finally someone who gets it. Thank you.

      1
  • Oscar
    18.09.2018

    This has made me go back to a tweet I read about a research which supposedly found out that women lay with 7 men and men 14 women in their lifetime. I know of people who have laid with patient 657 and tonight are gonna serve patient 658. Dorine is yet to serve patient 001. She deserves a Head of State commendation for her chastity. Most of us wouldn’t crack it even under reincarnation. Lest we came back as trees.

    30
    • Mushie
      18.09.2018

      hahahaha…..ati unless you came back as trees…this is just so funny

      1
    • Marion
      18.09.2018

      Hahahahaha…comment of the day!! Scratch that…comment of the year!

    • Emily
      19.09.2018

      Haha… Day made..

  • Mbithe
    18.09.2018

    Amen, single-hood is really not a disease.

    3
  • G.K.
    18.09.2018

    Doreen, you sound like an awesome person! Keep being you, and stand for what you believe in.

    2
  • Anne Komen
    18.09.2018

    In this day and age I will say everyone is different. I believe that virginity should be lost to the one you truly love. Whether that be your husband or your boyfriend. Fact remains that you love that person. Thats how you will truly feel it was special to be given at that time.

    1
  • “We want to know how one can keep their virginity for all these years in this day and age of the very persuasive and amorous men who send women pictures of their penises as a highly sophisticated art of seduction.”
    ….hahahaha..guys should stop sending such pics..I am curious..do these guys think that it looks like a glorious sunset or like a beautiful mountain for one to gasp in wonder and awe? and perhaps frame it?

    It’s good that Dorine has stood in faith for this long. I wish I had done the same. I think when one falls as a Christian, there’s always abit of guilt and regret because the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we’ve been bought by the blood of Jesus. So it feels like fracturing the link of communication with God..not a cool feeling at all.
    It helps to know when one has chosen to live right, that sex is soooo overrated…a guy can badger a girl for six months, but when she gives in, she’s dismayed to find out, the guy who has patiently waited for six months is done in a minute and after five minutes is in dreamland, loudly snoring away.

    8
  • Baaaj
    18.09.2018

    That ‘lucky’ man is not gonna buy that virgin narrative when they have their first roll in the hay and there’s no blood.

    2
  • Kelly orupia
    18.09.2018

    Good to read people working out their salvation. The best thing Dorine, is that God will not dissapoint. He will show up at his own time.
    Keep the faith!

    12
  • The rock
    18.09.2018

    Congratulations Doreen. I’m wishing you all the best in your journey of chastity whether you finally get the man of your dreams or not. I’m practicing secondary virginity with my girlfriend because we got born again after we’d started seeing each other. We made a vow to God to respect his word and wishes..it’s no walk in the park.but we’re holding on.

    18
  • Sue
    18.09.2018

    At least she knows her hymen was broken in hospital; some don’t even know who/what broke theirs. Dorine is steadfast in her faith and beliefs, I like that.

    By the way Biko, what did Otile do to you? Haha, he couldn’t even pass the intelligent test too?

    17
  • abdullah omar
    18.09.2018

    god willing she will get the rod to split the waters

    5
  • Dee Ndirangu
    18.09.2018

    No comments yet?
    But how?
    After reading the next I look forward to is the comments…i will be back

  • Wakweika
    18.09.2018

    Thanks for sharing the interview Biko! “because that kind of thing is only the province of lost sheep wandering the vast wasteland of sin and debauchery.” this had me giggling!

    1
  • Wakweika
    18.09.2018

    Anyone else trying to figure out the connection between the bees and the article?

    5
    • Marion
      18.09.2018

      It’s a conversation about birds&bees 🙂

      1
  • Zetti
    18.09.2018

    Biko has just been throwing Shade at Otile and asking the most stupidest of questionsthis piece was something…I didn’t get the e-mail notification though…sobs..but I always have it at at the back of my mind that Tuesdays are Biko-days

    2
  • Mushie
    18.09.2018

    “My belief and my understanding of meaningful relationships is that they are about a set of values that you have and share.”…this is amazing especially in this province of lost sheep wandering the vast wasteland of sin and debauchery…haha

    1
  • JudgeandJury..
    18.09.2018

    Just to be clear i haven’t read half of this and i’m already laughing….
    cant wait to finish this…..

    1
  • Chambers
    18.09.2018

    Biko, i smelled your sarcasm throughout this article from miles away

    7
  • Kerubo
    18.09.2018

    Sometimes I too wish I had waited. But at other times I’m glad I didn’t coz now I know the difference between great sex and mediocre sex. I truly hope that whoever she finally settles for doesn’t disappoint.

    5
    • Joel
      19.09.2018

      Hahahahahahahahahahahaha mediocre Sex is totally unacceptable at this day and time. I would rather do without. Mbaya kabisha. Never.

      4
    • Nyardunga
      20.09.2018

      Eish Kerubo. How many spirits took part in this experiment???

      3
    • Fish Lover
      20.09.2018

      Tom: Excuse me teacher what is the difference between great sex and mediocre sex?
      Teacher Paul: Pay attention class I will only explain this once. Let me see how to put this across in a clear way for you class 6 students. It’s like going to eat great fish at mama oliech(RIP) and eating suchi at ocean basket.
      Tom: I like mama oliech fish teacher.
      Teacher: So do I Tom, so do I.
      Bell rings. Class is dismissed.

      7
  • kate
    18.09.2018

    I have mixed feelings about this post. on one hand i think its brave to be a virgin especially at 40 &single.wow. i could never do it. i held on to 21 and broke mine because all my friends had. i regret breaking it due to pressure to date.On the other hand i hate that she thinks its some gift she needs to give to a man who by the way does not have to be a virgin.society doesn’t shame men for having sex ,its technically not even considered sinful but a woman thats not a virgin…Gods watching you sinner!.. i would like to read a story on a man thats “normal” and a virgin at 40.Now thats a story!!!
    The sad truth is that its going to be hard for her to get a man who will not want sex before marriage esp a 40yr old with fibroids which means her fertility is already on the line. But as a woman of God , he may just send that man her way.Good luck Dorine
    stiff one? really Biko..LOL..

    6
  • AJWANG B
    18.09.2018

    I love her response to your final question: Singlehood is not a disease

    1
  • Ken Kago
    18.09.2018

    Reading some of the comments here, it’s sad that in our day, the person of conviction is the one considered odd! And you wonder that our country is going to the dogs!
    There is everything right with Dorine and everything wrong with those who think she is pitiable.
    At the risk of sounding preachy (someone called today’s read ‘a sermon’), the thing about ‘staying pure’ – from her persuasion, Dorine might as well have used the phrase – is that one can enjoy their memories with little, if any regrets! Think of all the bad memories of those heartbreaks – some of which are nasty!

    9
  • Duncan
    18.09.2018

    Dorine must be a peaceful woman for understanding that the rest of her life does not revolve around sex, whether she will get it or she will not. I hope if she finds a partner, which does not in any way matter, she will still be as peaceful.

    1
  • Kim
    18.09.2018

    I think you should really look for a secondary virgin to do a piece on. Especially a guy. Not to mean that it’s easier for women to hold back but there’s that thing about guys having two heads but only enough blood to run one at a time. It would be interesting to see if there’s a ‘mchovya asali’ who didn’t go for seconds.

    4
  • Ava
    18.09.2018

    I feel like a lot was left unsaid.

    4
  • Kagwiria
    18.09.2018

    That’s a whole gift. Good luck to the recipient.

    1
  • Florence
    18.09.2018

    I have not laughed like this in a long time but may be because some of the lines here describe me I mean the past few years of being disengaged and disinterested. I trust there are more women in this category (secondary) some married by the way.

    3
  • Brian
    18.09.2018

    Oh man! Wow! This whole read is a gem! She is a gem! Biko, you are a gem!

    1
  • Joe
    18.09.2018

    A stiff one eh?

  • Judith Adhiambo
    18.09.2018

    First things first, I like the sarcasm in this piece!

    My belief and my understanding of meaningful relationships is that they are about a set of values that you have and share. There’s no better way of explaining this, that’s it.

    1
  • Black Panther
    18.09.2018

    I salute you Dorine; heaven gives you a standing ovation for your incredible stand in this dark world of ours. In addition to all these just remember to keep the greatest command which is ‘love’ and I believe you will be home and dry.

    2
  • Beatrice Gatundu
    18.09.2018

    Yes I know Dorine, a woman of faith that loves the lord…

    2
  • Chebet
    18.09.2018

    …….. ”Single hood is not a disease,”

    1
  • Wyclif Topoti
    18.09.2018

    Nice read as always. Biko you will go to heaven

  • Cat
    18.09.2018

    “,,,,,I signal the waiter and order a stiff one.”

    You just had to, huh?

    3
  • Eddie
    18.09.2018

    Your favorite word must be debauchery. Ahem. Genga is definitely cut from a different cloth. Religion can be full of fun.

  • Bee Em
    18.09.2018

    wow!
    What a lady……………..
    I believe its more than her having a gift she’s yet to meet someone worth of gifting it to……its more of believing in her spiritual persuasion and staying true to it….thats why she has no qualms if she never meets that guy….
    Its more than the guy an has all to do with her faith….And these are the kind of people who God is proud of.
    they are persuaded and fully convicted that nothing sways their faith.

    May she meet a God-fearing man and have a family founded in God

    1
  • nelvin
    18.09.2018

    that’s quite something

  • Moses Auma Speaks
    18.09.2018

    Dorine guards her virginity like a God-given-life-saving token.

    What a choice?

  • Rehema Zuberi
    18.09.2018

    I also like cake and sweet things. I’m also sapiosexual. Oh the mind

    https://wp.me/p8aKAO-mU

  • Pau
    18.09.2018

    Now, can you be a virgin if you do yourself uhhmm ‘self service’?

    1
  • Ciku
    18.09.2018

    The piece is disappointing. Biko you come off as very rude and over the top sarcastic (‘Yawn’ because she says she’s interested in someone’s mind which you’ve said before is what interests you? And ‘How romantic’ that her hymen was broken in a hospital?) Your disdain for her choice is so evident. She didn’t deserve that. She answered your questions with more honesty than you deserved (clearly). The least you can do is write a non biased piece.

    6
  • Sare
    18.09.2018

    He he he! The comments here are as interesting as the article itself. It feels like some people are projecting anger at not having the discipline Dorine has in this area. At the end of the day sex is not a matter of life and death but we live in a world that has made it seem like it’s a basic necessity of life. I doubt she obssesses about this topic as much as some people would like her to do. These are her convictions, I admire her for standing by them and I respect them.

    10
    • Clement
      19.09.2018

      I think it’s a basic necessity.

    • Makena
      19.09.2018

      Great point @Sare, some of these people are engaging in senseless sex, no connections, just sex and are extremely empty and miserable and they would not dare admit it and here they are jaw dropping at someone who has placed value on herself.

      9
  • Kangaroo Father Care champion
    18.09.2018

    Biko.You are on your own on the pizza thing. You are a disgrace to our species.smh. can’t finish a pizza.smh
    Dorine, you do you.conforming to societal norms is rubbish..I however would have loved to hear your view on having a baby, like..if it doesn’t work out looking for a man, do you have the urge to just have a baby regardless?
    I bet Biko can’t finish 2 chapos.sad

  • Bedan_The_Detective
    18.09.2018

    Dorine, I respect you. Hats off for your chastity and strong convictions…… You sound like a lovely auntie.

    However, the ‘gift’ part did not sit well with me…I mean, why do women think that they are doing men a favor when they CONSENT to have sex with them???
    As such, sweet auntie Dorine, it is your gift, not any man’s gift.

    ….Biko,the sarcasm was too loud.

    7
  • Bumble Bee
    18.09.2018

    1. Let’s all stop judging Otile Brown, I mean, the guy is still nursing his heartbreak
    2. Has anyone seen Clif, the tall chap? He totally fits for this job. Clif, are you available!?

    3
    • The Granny's Corner
      20.09.2018

      I agree with you. Clif is a right fit. Plus I think they are neighbors. Cliff do something.

      Those bees on the profile, did you have anything to do with it/? Inspiration

    • Clif_the_tall
      23.09.2018

      Hehehe. Bumble Bee what is?? I think I read somewhere hapo juu tall men are no? * Back to you in studio*

  • Gladness
    19.09.2018

    Superb story telling! My cup of tea… Thank you Biko. Am inspired to tell my story through my own passion of love for writing!

  • Lee
    19.09.2018

    Otile Brown still doesn’t make the cut though..Biko what do you have against this light skimmed?
    I salute Doreen for her discipline and being firm in her values.Funny how we all seem to ask the “why” question for doing the right thing.

    2
  • DIANA ALUOCH
    19.09.2018

    Wow this is really great gives me a new perspective of everything

  • Stephen Rogo
    19.09.2018

    Run your own race. Women like you should be celebrated. There are people in toxic marriages and relationships, empty because of cheating partners. You are ahead of all.

    9
  • Wanjiru
    19.09.2018

    Wow! This is a special one.

  • simo
    19.09.2018

    if a 40 years old sapiosexual virgin told me,”i give thee,this special gift for unwrapping”
    ill answer,”No thanx,,too much wrappings on the gift,too much work”

    2
    • Kapiesh
      19.09.2018

      Hehe you have a special place in hell

  • Clement
    19.09.2018

    Religion is not the opium of humans. Religion is their placebo. God won’t just blast you cause you had premarital sex. That makes him human. And He is not

  • She
    19.09.2018

    Reminds me Junot Diaz’s- Brief wondrous life of Oscar Wao. I pray she finds the valued partner.

  • Kamau
    19.09.2018

    I find chastity abit mysterious….

  • Nahashon
    19.09.2018

    Hmm! wait let her first get one with the kind of “spiritual persuasion”then we can see.
    i admire her values and how she values them

  • berina
    19.09.2018

    “She also gets younger men who chase her. “Because they know where you work, they think you make good money and imagine that you must be very lonely and desperate. That you need someone to warm your bed. So they really don’t bring anything to the table other than the saviour mentality. On the first coffee date they sit back and expect you to pay, they want to borrow your car and expect you to cook for them. I’m always like, ah-ah, that doesn’t work for me.”

    This pleased me. Many men are becoming this.

    4
  • Leona B
    19.09.2018

    Why is it so damn difficult to accept a 40 year old virgin lives amongst us?
    Have we been so acclimatised to sexual sin that it’s become the norm?
    It’s very possible to be on the right path even now in this day and age when everything wrong and sinful is the “with it”
    I can go to the club and drink juice, dance and have a grand old time without feeling burdened to drink alcohol just because all of y’alls are drinking alcohol.

    So, Dorine, good on you gal!!

    3
  • Andrew
    19.09.2018

    Hey Biko,

    I like!! Dorine soundslike an intriguing individual and someone I’d be honoured to meet!

    Thanks Biko for articulating her story so well. Dorine, stay true!!

  • Macharia
    19.09.2018

    Am I the only one who Googled looking for her photos?

    Has a baby’s neck that looks virgin too.

    Best wishes gal

  • Waci
    20.09.2018

    What a refreshing post!

    Well done Dorine. Virginity IS a bug deal in today’s world where sex is sold / given off to the nearest not necessarily highest bidder! Thing with sex, its not like a lie which you can say and walk away…for sex the other person and you share your very bodies.. Very different and that’s why it comes with a set of values. Who’s that you’re sharing with? What’s he like? I totally hear you Dorine and I pray we have more like you. Keep mentoring the girls. I hope my daughter meets you one day.

    I was a virgin too until I got married at 32. It is possible. Of course we are very sexual (even sensual) and we meet guys who make us drool and all but the difference is we don’t jump into their beds.

    I know a man who’s a virgin at 53.. So it IS possible and it is a big deal.

    6
  • Ouma Charity
    20.09.2018

    Taking screenshots all the way. This is so going to be me 20 years from now No settling!

  • Justin
    20.09.2018

    A Sapiosexual?! Thats a New Word to me but I like it. Loved this one

  • nimo
    20.09.2018

    its never that serious really….whatever you do Dorine, do it for you, as a gift to you!

    Biko, I say this with a lot of love but the writing sequence is becoming predictable…..the intro, story, talk about people seating next to you guys, do the dialogue thingy of your imagined conversations, back to story, etc etc

    probably intentional…but predictable.

    1
  • P. K.
    20.09.2018

    Sapiosexual. Virginity and all the comments waa. But wait the last comment on 53 year old virgin is he like a Father in a church? My question however would be did God ordain singleness to be fraught with bad memories broken promises and soul ties? I think not.

    #Google Otile Brown after comment. Am I the only stranger in Jerusalem??

  • Grace Guya
    21.09.2018

    Her faith and steadfastness in this oversexualized world where many people are easily swayed and bow to peer pressure is commendable.
    At the end of the day no one is better or worse than the other. Just know yourself and do things for you not because of others. Have a spine.

  • Salome Caroline Gachiku Wandui
    21.09.2018

    She’s a unique one Dorine…Hold on to your faith girl.

  • Monica
    21.09.2018

    Spiritual persuasion, singleness is not a disease…I like. Go Dorine.

  • Munyori
    21.09.2018

    Damn …!life is short live it to the fullest …!!not judging BTW ..!

  • James
    25.09.2018

    Very appealing. 40 and a virgin. I pray you don’t wear weaves.

    2
    • Mageria
      27.09.2018

      LOL. I completely hate weaves. The question here is what does wearing weaves have to do with her being a virgin?

      3
  • Big Sword
    25.09.2018

    in todays age, people have completely lost it. it has become trendy to do something, because others are doing it too. I admire Dorine and her resolve. I pray she holds on, and that she finds someone who will appreciate that gift. it is a very expensive gift and with time, it is getting more expensive. I salute you Dorine, should you read this.

    1
  • Newmoon
    25.09.2018

    Alot was left unsaid and it leaves alot to assumption.

    Her reason to stay a virgin is not to prove a point, it is pegged on her relationship with God. The One whom she derives her values from. God is first in her life and her life is to please an audience of one:her Lord and saviour, the one in whom She finds contentment. Her life purpose will be accomplished whether she is single or not. She will not receive half a crown In eternity because she is single.

    The one who has counted her days is faithful to reward her faithfulness and should He choose not to ,from her story she will remain faithful. This says alot about her character and identity in Christ. Her desire for purity transcends the physical.

    For those who are not of the same faith, it’s OK if we don’t get it. It all depends on what informs your values, the world or the word of God.

    3
  • Malaika
    25.09.2018

    Sex is overrated. I applaud you Dorine. Staying true to your values is one of the hardest things than practicing secondary virginity. Underline Values

    3
  • June
    26.09.2018

    I admire here great story Biko keep them coming

  • Carrie
    26.09.2018

    Great piece, however Biko I think you were a bit biased with your opinion, though it seems you did portray her answers honestly.
    You cannot miss what you’ve never had! Or can you really?
    How can you miss the feeling of driving a range rover if you’ve never driven or even been driven in one?
    Sincerely speaking, has anyone ever died from not having sex? Sex though important-in the right context (marriage) is a gift-rightfully called in this piece, from our creator, God. I applaud Dorine for taking a stand, upholding her values with grace and humility against all odds. You would be surprised at how many actually admire her even disguised as haters in these comments. Admiring courage they never had, strength they never gathered and heartbreaks, not to mention even diseases, they could have avoided had they taken a stand for what they believe in. If you believe otherwise well and good, you have a choice to do so. Dorine keep up the good work and let your life influence more people positively. For those with different opinions, you are entitled to your opinion, but please don’t mistake it for a fact. We all have choices to make. Make the right one for you.

    6
    • Francis Wanyoike
      28.09.2018

      As I read this comment I felt exposed and it was addressing me in part. As I matured I realized that it gets tiring sleeping around and as soon as I faced that fact I started respecting myself more. The unfortunate thing is I tried to mend fences with the people I genuinely cared about and they were not interested, lost good friends. Dorine I respect and admire you.

      7
  • Diana
    28.09.2018

    My ten cents. Life is a gift. A Relationship (read a shag) is part of life’s enjoyment. Are we together so far? Virginity is overrated. Really. That’s not to say that one should be all over the place. A middle ground. Have meaningful relationships, spiritual and all, and a shag for crying out loud. Its awesome, aki. For both parties. Don’t waste any more years being a martyr…go for it. Most importantly practice safe sex.

    1
  • Abi
    02.10.2018

    Virgin posts. Ah, memories.

  • Nyambura Kagwe
    02.10.2018

    I hear you sis.Sapiosexuals are very unique people.

    Even our moans during coitus are not ‘yes’ ‘there’…..

    There are something like ‘indeed’ ‘labour on” I’m almost climaxing’…..

    We are cut from different cloth!

    1
  • Nyambura Kagwe
    02.10.2018

    Sex is overrated, period!

    1
  • Beth
    02.10.2018

    A 40 year old virgin??! Wow. I don’t even know is what tho think of this…

  • Beth
    02.10.2018

    A 40 year old virgin??! Wow. I don’t even know what to think of this…

  • Moseh mosehti
    03.10.2018

    I don’t do virgins,they are a major turn off

  • Mageria
    07.10.2018

    Read an article online today how Sex is destroying us. You are definitely not affected by this problem and thank the God that you strongly worship. Marriages, friendships, careers, futures destroyed because of making everything about Sex. Sad.

    3
  • Reuben kemoli
    08.10.2018

    Until men and women start having honest conversations about who they truly are, what demons they battle with, where they lack,where they come from and what they truly want…love will continue to be a temporary emotion
    Honesty and communication are key.
    Relationships are non issues until the important things are addressed. Sex my friend is at the bottom of that list.

    3
  • Izzo
    13.10.2018

    I’m currently practicing secondary virginity and the fact that I can eliminate the practice of unnecessary casual sex encounters is half the battle. When you know, you know.

    3

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