Sign up with your email address to be the first to know about new products, VIP offers, blog features & more.

We Are Individuals

After I quit my very brief stint working for the evil interracial couple in 2012 I received an email from a guy called Fred. He said that he developed websites and that my website looked like it needed a new heart. I wrote back and told him that my website was fine that way and besides, I didn’t have a budget to build another one. This was way back when we used to call this place High School. Before things went pear-shaped and strange people found us – people who comment before reading. Fred wrote back, “Well, I will rebuild it for you for free.” For free? I emailed him, “Maybe the site does need a little work on it,” because I’m Kenyan and we don’t say no to free lunch.

So we met. Fred had an office in Office Park on Riverside Drive, running a digital start-up called Belva Digital. He was the only employee. I say office but it was actually a cave, a hole in the ground. Someone who sold medical hardware upstairs had sublet to him a small room in the store area downstairs. To access it you had to go through a dark (the lights never worked) maze of shelves leading into a very tiny space with hardly enough room to swing a cat in. There, at a small table with three hand-me down chairs that squeaked when you eased your weight on them, Fred sat. A glass door led out into Pots and Pans restaurant. The place smelled musty and cold and sinister. The first time I went there I was sure Fred was into organ trade. Or was illegally exporting Pangolin scales to China. One of the two. Or both.

One night we built the new website late into the night with Fred and this graphic designer – a moody University student who hardly spoke a word. He was frustrated with me, that boy. I would say, “I don’t like that colour for a website,” and he’d say, “I thought you wanted this colour?” and I’d say, “No, I didn’t think it would look like this?” And he’d sigh and say, “How did you think it would look, a brown colour looks like a brown colour, a green colour looks like a green colour etc etc,” (Don’t you just hate people who say “etc” in speech?). I’d look over at Fred for help but he would be pretending not to listen to the conversation. “I just don’t like it,” I’d say with finality because I was the (non-paying) client and I wanted what I wanted even if I didn’t know what I wanted. He’d be quiet for a while and say, “Fine then,” like he was on his periods. Feeling guilty, I’d put my hand on his shoulder and say, “Look, it’s not a bad colour, it’s just that it makes the website look like an Akorino blog.” Fred would chuckle heartily but his designer wouldn’t even crack a smile so I’d ask him, “You are not Mukorino, are you?” I think he was an undercover Mukorino.

After the website project Fred invited me to join him in his office if I wanted. There was space for one more. I wondered where the space was, unless he meant his web designer’s laps and I wasn’t keen on sitting on men’s laps then. (Neither am I now, to be clear). So I joined Fred. That office was so small that one person always had to stand and step aside to allow the other person to pass to take his seat. During lunch the smell of the buffet would drift from Pots and Pans, where the bankers from the neighbourhood in their blue ties and important corporate smirks would come to eat. Some evenings when we worked late we would order a drink from the bar and drink it in the office as we worked. One day just before lunch a gas cylinder blew up in the kitchen and we saw a burning chef running across the floor, clothes aflame. Such good times. The Hole In The Ground worked for us. It was a hole full of dreams.

For the loos you either went to the Pots and Pans loos or upstairs to the medical hardware suppliers office which had one unisex loo with a door that faced the open plan office so everybody knew what you were doing, which meant you never wanted to stay in there for too long and you certainly never went for number two because then you’d have to spray the air freshener and everybody would hear you spraying it and when  you opened the door they’d stare at you like you were assembling a bomb in there and you’d be ashamed for obeying the natural call of nature.

One time I went to fetch drinking water from the dispenser upstairs and this beautiful, big-bodied, vivacious and very brassy girl I’d never seen before walked up to where I was, bent there at the dispenser, and asked, “You are Fred’s guy?” and I stood up to my full height and said with the most indignation I could muster under those circumstances, “No, I’m nobody’s guy.” Then she asked, “Do you smoke?” I said, “No.” Then she said, “I’m going for a smoke outside in the garden, come, I need company,” then she turned and walked downstairs!!  The f*k?! It wasn’t a request, it was an order and I thought, “The hell does this chick think I am? That I’m so idle that I have nothing better to do than just join her and stand around while she smokes?” So I followed her to the garden. He-he. And that’s how I met Grace. Grace filled everything hollow in a room with her personality. If you left your tea cup empty, you’d find her personality in it. Grace was sunshine.

Then beautiful things started happening for Fred because he works very hard and he’s extremely sharp but most importantly he’s a good person to do business with. God started really smiling at him. He got more clients and he needed more space for his new staff so he moved to Lenana Road and I had to move to a different office briefly to do other things. We stayed in touch and did some jobs together. A few months later, he said he had a project for us to do so I joined him on Lenana Road in a big office space that we shared with some hustlers like Taurus and this pilot guy named Jimmy who, on top of being a pilot must have been doing other IT-related businesses. We were all jua kali guys. You never knew what other people were doing and you never quite wanted to know.

Around this time I had been exchanging emails with a boy called Hanafi Kaka from Mt.Kenya University. He had the promise of being a good writer, just like Joe Black, and I was looking at his work and offering comments. When he was done with Uni he said he wanted to come as an intern to see how I did my thing, so I said, fine. I gave him the job of transcribing my interviews. Then I started a tech section on my blog where he would write about tech and stuff.

While I was looking away, Fred hired him to Belva Digital. I always tell him, Fred stole you from me and he says, “If you put it that way I look like a fairy princess that was the prize for a duel between two knights. Fred made me an offer I couldn’t resist.” God continued smiling at Fred. He got more staff and moved to another office down Lenana Road. I followed him because, well, I love to be in the presence of people who are smarter than me. I also liked his work ethic and energy and his depth of knowledge of digital marketing, and we did some projects together. Lastly, I suspected he needed someone to keep reminding him where he came from- the hole in the ground. Then we moved to a much much bigger office on Ngong Road at the very top of a building with a great vista. There is no telling where he will go next but I suspect it’s only up. Fred hasn’t changed a tad. Well, apart from his clothes, I have seen them become less and less kao over time. I’m very proud of what he’s done for himself – from watching a chef burn to watching the windmills turn out on Ngong Hills in the horizon.

Hanafi Kaka, my former intern, has also always worked for him. So do many other millennials who do digital marketing for Belva. The space is youthful and productive and volatile because they operate in freedom and in this freedom they all bring strong personalities even in their silence and loudness. When you put all these young people in a room to think and create it sparks and sometimes it combusts. It’s a cesspit of youth. A millennial smorgasbord. They come and they go. They are restless and ambitious and they are young and look bold even though I’m sure they don’t feel as bold inside. They work late and they come in late. They wear strange shoes, listen to strange music and believe in things I can’t start to fathom. Some days, I’ll be in the kitchen early morning making my breakfast and in the trash can I’ll see empty bottles of whisky, a testimony of the previous late night. They are the millennials. This is their time. Their moment. Their space. Their internet. We are just furniture. I’m just an old rocking chair. You, reading this, is probably an old cracked mirror. Or an aged broken clock. But at least you are right twice a day, right? Right?

As I have seen Fred grow from terrible kao shirts, I have seen Hanafi Kaka grow as a creative, a writer and a designer and a curious and self-aware animal. He has always handled the technical bits of this blog, stuff that I know nothing about. He has a blog of his own. When I needed the cover jacket of my book – Drunk- designed I didn’t look far. He also designs my proposals and logos. He has an amazing work ethic. He’s moody sometimes. Strange most times. But always ambitious and fastidious and curious. I’m mentoring his writing, giving it form because he can write, he only needs to steer it. His writing is introspective and it searches for something, it’s seeking heat, it wants to anchor onto something, to identify itself, to announce itself, but for now it bobs and it drifts and it chases the wind. As it should. He’s only 25-years old, after all.

This one time I was walking past his desk when I saw him popping a pill so I stopped to ask if he was sick and he said casually, “No. Just an anxiety pill.”

“Anxiety pill?” I asked. “Which one?”

“Valium.”

“Why do you need an anxiety pill?”

“Because I’m anxious,” he says like a smartass.

“What’s making you anxious?” I ask him.

“Life!”

“But what about life?”

“Just…things…relationships, work, anxiety over the future…” he says. “The pills calm me down.”

“We are all anxious about something at any point in our lives. But at 25-years, my God, you can make a million mistakes now and still have time to spring back. Hell, I can mistakes now and still spring back,” I said. “But you don’t take pills for anxiety. You live life. You overcome them or accept them or change them.” He stared at me with an impatient smile. He had that look of Just-go-I-have-shit-to do.

I went to my desk to stare at Toni’s thighs. But then he stayed in my head. What else are they doing? I wondered. Or thinking? What if they all belong to a cult in this office? What if Sidney, the quiet dreadlocked designer downstairs, was told by his cult leader that he needs a beard from a 40-year old to burn so as to up his creative juices for the next ten years and so Sidney has been eyeing my beard and waiting for the right opportunity to drug me and drive me to Ngong forest and harvest my beard? And what is Yvonne hiding behind the make-up? What about Lucy? I’m pretty sure Lucy belongs to a cult.

Next time I saw Hanafi at the balcony I went over and said, “I think I will start a small series on Millennials. Do you think I will get good content?” He said, “Oh you will get a lot of content from millennials because we are all fucked up. All of us.”

“Who fucked you up?”

“Our parents,” he says. “We’re a product of another fucked up generation.”

“How old is your father now?”

“He’s 45-years old. He had me very young,” he says. “His generation tried to fix the problems of the previous generation, how they were raised. I’d say my dad was fixing his dad through me and then while doing that he focused on correcting the mistakes of his dad and forgot about who I am as an individual. So that is where the disconnect came from as I grew up.”

This “I am individual” narrative seems like a big thing for millennials. “Treat me as an individual!” “I want to think as an individual.” I’m an individual” But who are we? The rest of us? You reading this, who are you?  

“So, as a result of this you were messed up by the past generation…”

“It’s messed up big time. Social media has messed our heads. We want to be who we are not, we see people who we want to be but when we get to know the people who we admire we realise they are just like us with our problems. Plus you people don’t understand us or what we do.”

“You are individuals,” I say tongue in cheek.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks, squinting in the sun.

“Sure.”

“When you see a selfie, what do you see?”

I look out over the buildings on Ngong Road. What does one see in a selfie? Is this a trick question? Will I get a cookie if I get it right? Will I be inducted in the millennial cult they are running downstairs? I have to be very careful with this question here.

“Vanity?” I offer cautiously.

“We have a lot of angst,” he says, “and the mediums we have to express it don’t match up with the right way we feel. So whoever is watching from outside the generation won’t see that that’s what we’re doing, we’re expressing these things that you think we don’t have. Because when you see a selfie, you’re seeing someone vain, right? But on the other end, this person may be going through a certain physical insecurity and by making that selfie as beautiful as she can make it, when she looks at it, she reminds herself, ‘Oh, I don’t care what so-and-so said about my nose, I’m beautiful.’ So that’s what guys see when they look at a selfie.”

I look at him closely. That is profound. I chew on that as I nod. “Some people have abused selfies to make themselves look better than others,” he plods on, “but if you go down, deep down, people are trying to say something. The generation is screaming out. Just not as loudly as you guys learnt to scream.”

Well, we were not allowed to scream, us the X-generation. Or express our feelings. Boys were men before they could spell “men.” Nobody held our hands. We were not “individuals.” You were the son of Ogum, Ogum was the son of Ougo, Ougo was the son of Okeyo. You hunkered down in this patricachy. You gazed at your own horizon. You didn’t look at your father in the eye. You didn’t say “Nobody understands me,” because that was considered weak and whiny. And nobody wanted to be weak and whiny.

There are days that I randomly stop by Hanafi’s desk and ask, “What are you listening to now?” because I always wonder how they walk around with music in their heads the whole day! [“It’s mostly blocking out the noises in my head. They never shut up. So if I can give myself another noise to listen to I think I can get through my day without crashing.”] With one earphone off his ear to show that this conversation will not and should not go on for too long he would say, “Bon Iver. Heard of him?” I’d say, “Of course,” then he’d get excited and say, “really?” and I’d say, “No, of course not. Who is he and why do you like him?”

“He has an album called ‘22, A Million’ which describes how fragile life is, the importance or value of God in life, and if any of it matters after life. So that whole album, there are some songs where he is directly talking to God asking Him ‘Is the company stalling? We have what you wanted, you have let us come to this earth, we’ve learnt a few things, but we feel like it’s enough, we can’t handle any better. So just bring whatever you were to bring after. Is the company stalling?” Not knowing what the hell he just said, I’d go to my desk and stare at Toni’s thighs. Then later, I’d Google this artist and (try) listen to the album. It’s got odd titles like “00000 million” and “_45_” and “666 [and an arrow sign I can’t find on my keyboard.]

The next time I find him making a cup of tea in the kitchen, his headphones are dangling from his pockets like a tendrils growing from his clothes. This is a sign that he is willing to let the world in so I josh with him. “So your usual; two sugars and one Valium, right?” He laughs. He’s wearing a cap with a flat bill, like the ones rap artistes wear.

“When did it get to a point where you said, okay, now I’m so anxious I need Valium to calm me down?” I ask him.

He stirs his tea thoughtfully. I throw my ndumas into the microwave. “It started last year,” he says. “I reacted to an emotional situation. And then my reaction provoked a chain reaction and then suddenly, everything came at me at once and I had not expected that. I don’t think I had even grown enough or mature enough as a person to be able to handle that kind of chaos coming at me.”

“What chaos?”

It was personal, relationships, romantic relationship, my father, my mother, my siblings. So yeah, I started with 2mgs cause it was the first time. The effect was something I was very grateful for. I calmed down. All that noise quieted. It was like a very holy silence, I swear. And then because these things were still happening, the valium suddenly stopped being enough, the 2mgs stopped being enough. So I upgraded to 5mgs. And even then, whatever I was dealing with kept escalating. So it was like the valium had to keep up with my problems. At some point I realised I needed an alternative way to deal with my problems. I made a list of those problems then I started with my dad, we solved it. We went into a place of silence because we both shared some truths about each other in the situation so we gave each other time to process it. And then I switched to my mom. My mom is explosive and a very strong personality, so she won’t give you time, she’ll come at you. (Chuckles) And then I took a moment, internalized all of that, and then I went to the relationship and fixed it. And then I put all that in my hair. Nobody ever sees. Nobody will see it.”

I stare at his hat. Curious as to what is in there. Is it a squirrel? Does he walk around with a piece of moist charcoal in there, as a metaphor of healing? Now I’m dying to see what’s in there. I’m piqued. “Can I see it?” I ask. He thinks about it for a second and lifts his hat and I’m disappointed that no hare jumps out. Just hair, cut off on both sides.

“So like this cut back here,” he shows me one side of his hair is completely cut off, “this represents that anger I had with my parents the first time. I felt like I’d lost a certain trust or understanding of them as parents that I thought was granted. So I basically chopped it off, that expectation of my parents.”

“So your hairstyle is a manifestation of your relationship with your parents?” I ask hoping he will say no.

“Yes,” he says, putting his hat back on.

“And the message is to who?” I’m still staring at his hat.

“Myself. I don’t think anybody would understand if I gave them that message.”

“I don’t!” I say laughing. “So why don’t you keep this message inside? Why do you have to express it with your hair?”

“Because I’m a very introspective person.”

I take my nduma away from his hair. The next time I go to his desk to see some designs he’s done for a Digital storytelling masterclass we want to do for NGOs and corporates. I tell him to change certain designs. Remove this Akorino colour. This font doesn’t make us look serious. This one makes us look too serious. Can I see more options? Would you look at this logo and think we are fun but serious and we know things we want you to know? How soon can I see something?

Before I go I ask him, “So, what is your biggest struggle as a 25-year old?”

He leans back in his chair. “I’d say identity. Different people in my life need me to be a different person to them. So it’s like for the last 25 years I’ve been a different person to each person to a point where I don’t know who I am. It becomes so much to internalize. It’s like I even take a break from life. And now I’m doing a lot of me-time to see what I am. So many reactions are happening, too many things happening. And you can’t really say is that an explosion, is that a star, is that an atom reacting? We don’t know what it is. But what I can say is that there’s something busy happening inside a bubble and we need to give it a name.”

“Why do we have to give it a name?” I ask. He is beginning to sound like Kanye West.

“I think we’re scared when we can’t identify something, especially myself. I think that’s way more scary than ever. Because if you know who you are nobody can tell you who to be. So that scares me. If I don’t know who I am now, I think I’m in a vulnerable position to shape me into the person they want me to become. So I need to make sure I know who I am. So nobody can have that power over me. Cause that places you in a situation where anybody can manipulate you.”

I nod and stare at him.

“There is a difference between who I’m expressing outside, and who I am feeling like inside. ‘Cause the person I’m expressing outside is the person I want to become. But the person I’m feeling inside is a big combination of identities that I still can’t consolidate.”

“What do you think of Kanye?” I ask him and that gets him excited.

“I love Kanye. He is the only person I follow on social media after I unfollowed everyone! I have had to step back from social media. Si I told you? Oh, that whole situation of I’d set some goals for myself, and when I saw they weren’t happening and these goals were reflected by other people I had seen online, I started judging myself, so I felt like I was failing and I didn’t like it. So I disconnected and unfollowed everyone.

“Is Kanye your hero?” I ask.

“No, my father still is my hero,” he says. “He’s been my biggest influence, I love him so much. Anyone who knows me will tell you I never stop talking about my dad.”

I leave his desk and go and stare at Toni’s thighs which by now might look like it’s all I do in the office, but the truth is it is, most afternoons. I like what he says about his father. I wish Kim can say that about me when he’s his age. Minus the messages on his hair. And the valium. One day I call him to my office and I tell him to close the door. Then I ask him, “Who do you think you will grow into?”

“I hope, I grow into someone better than my father.”

“Is your father flawed?” I ask biasedly, not as an interviewer but as a father.

“I didn’t say he’s flawed, it’s just that we don’t see things the same way which brings a lot of conflict. But he’s a great guy. I buy him hats. I try to make him cool.”

Linda, one of the editors here read this story and asked me, “What is he saying? I don’t understand some of what he’s saying. He sounds cryptic.” I said, “Who knows what he’s saying half the time, he’s a millennial.”

To mean, he’s an individual.

219 Responses
  • Purity
    05.06.2018

    Hallo Tuesday. Lemmi indulge

    1
    • Maurice Ochieng
      05.06.2018

      Hehe
      been waiting

    • Dennis
      05.06.2018

      What was your reaction when you read this?
      “Before things went pear-shaped and strange people found us – people who comment before reading. “

      29
      • Mueni
        06.06.2018

        Ever heard of they have eyes but don’t see have ears but never hear!

        5
      • Kris
        06.06.2018

        hahahaha I was gonna say that too. I meeean what is the hype. You know some of these comments go yippee on a story that is raw and full of pain and you are like what am I missing? I rarely comment, I just come here to read, but I felt compelled to comment today.

        7
      • Lamoy
        07.06.2018

        It makes me think of millenials. We want to show that we’ve gone through it, even if we don’t get.

        2
    • 21yr old
      06.06.2018

      It is hard to identify as an individual for most millennials. Our parents have done such a poor job in guiding us to build our personalities, most of us react to meeting different people in different ways.If you meet me when I’m feeling insecure then you’ll end up thinking I’m a quiet person but when I’m all confident you’ll get to know another person totally different. I think its in trying to reconcile all this personalities that we get lost …we don’t know who we are … we feel fake …. When we look at our parents they feel stable and we think thats how life supposed to be … And the saddest part about it all is trying to live to peoples expectations, we end up depressed coupled with anxiety disorders .. Scared to meet new people because they’ll probably bring out new personas in us

      38
      • Mary
        12.06.2018

        On point,The said millennials are very conflicted-

        1
      • PK
        17.06.2018

        Hey.
        This spoke to me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    • Eric
      06.06.2018

      What was your reaction when you read this?
      “Before things went pear-shaped and strange people found us – people who comment before reading. “

      1
  • Maurice Ochieng
    05.06.2018

    Almost came 1st.. let me read now

    • 21 yahre alt
      06.06.2018

      It is hard to identify as an individual for most millennials. Our parents have done such a poor job in guiding us to build our personalities, most of us react to meeting different people in different ways.If you meet me when I’m feeling insecure then you’ll end up thinking I’m a quiet person but when I’m all confident you’ll get to know another person totally different. I think its in trying to reconcile all this personalities that we get lost …we don’t know who we are … we feel fake …. When we look at our parents they feel stable and we think thats how life supposed to be … And the saddest part about it all is trying to live to peoples expectations, we end up depressed coupled with anxiety disorders .. Scared to meet new people because they’ll probably bring out new personas in us

      3
      • Lamoy
        07.06.2018

        I’d say the problem with millenials is that we are always ready to dish out the blame, we think the world owes us, our parents… Our parents didn’t have much better parents.

        8
  • Nereah
    05.06.2018

    For once I am here nice and early..let me now scroll back to the content..:-)

    3
    • Hapakule
      05.06.2018

      Biko, what do we call those of us between the age of 27-34 and can relate to him??? Interesting read as always..

      42
      • Cassie
        05.06.2018

        I’m waiting for an answer to this….

      • edd
        05.06.2018

        i want to know as well..

      • Fiona
        05.06.2018

        Someone told me that millenials are actually people born between 1980’s and mid 1990’s who are currently btn 23 and 35. Those younger than that are called the igeneration and this is a common misconception
        Is this true?

        13
      • Ndinda
        05.06.2018

        I know ,totally relate

      • Nava
        06.06.2018

        Exactement!
        “I think we’re scared when we can’t identify something, especially myself. I think that’s way more scary than ever. Because if you know who you are nobody can tell you who to be. So that scares me. If I don’t know who I am now, I think I’m in a vulnerable position to shape me into the person they want me to become. So I need to make sure I know who I am. So nobody can have that power over me. Cause that places you in a situation where anybody can manipulate you.”

        5
  • JM
    05.06.2018

    I completely understand what Hanafi is saying, I feel him through and through

    15
  • Wanjeri
    05.06.2018

    This has to be the best I have read in a while.
    Identity is so akin to being millenial.
    Thanks Hanafi for speaking out for us all

    8
  • Keziah
    05.06.2018

    Any millennial will confirm this is accurate and relatable.

    20
    • Asenath
      05.06.2018

      Then I must be in the wrong generation. I don’t struggle as much as a millennial does, or is supposed to. In fact, when someone calls me a millennial, I feel accused of something. And I’m 25.

      Not to say that I haven’t gone through some serious shit, but there’s nothing fascinating about me.

      Great story though Biko…and I might seek out Valium. I need some holy silence in my life.

      8
  • Mushie
    05.06.2018

    “There is a difference between who I’m expressing outside, and who I am feeling like inside. ‘Cause the person I’m expressing outside is the person I want to become. But the person I’m feeling inside is a big combination of identities that I still can’t consolidate.”….

    He just expressed what most of us go through in this age;anxiety about the future,seeking identity,confusion about life,relationships etc but without the pills(hehe)

    Please do a series on millennials 🙂

    50
    • Grace Yaa
      05.06.2018

      Yes! Do a series on us Biko.

      I totally relate with Hanafi.

      3
    • Bumble Bee
      07.06.2018

      Totally. Valium really helps. My inner person started falling apart when I was in highschool. My grades were good. But the person inside wasn’t. Through and through, I would mask it up with being good at other things like studies to seek validation. For people to want to befriend me because I was good at math or chemistry. Until this geography teacher started to question the same way you’d question Hanafi, that she saw the shell of a human being I portrayed. It felt like floating around through life. Nothing was ever as it seemed. I just was. I was assigned the school’s psychologist for the rest of the term. Things went well, then campus came. In hindsight, I think I tried to hard to heal that I didn’t actually give myself the time to. But before I could break away from myself, we had a school therapist in campus. She prescribed valium and some other anti-depressants. The truth is, we are very fucked up. Even worse because we try so hard not to be. Nobody tells us it’s okay to be fucked up. We all want to be social media perfect, travelling the world at 30 and buying Subaru’s at 26.

      Ps. Biko do you know how annoying it is to have a client who want what they want but just don’t know what it is they want?

      17
    • Shiku_I
      13.08.2018

      I call mine a ‘quarter life crisis’

  • githinji Mwaniki
    05.06.2018

    We are individuals, that’s for sure…
    I tend to disagree with so many of his sentiments but then again; we are individuals.

    I Liked what he stated about identities, trying to be a different person for different people, It’s not something I can identify with but I can admit it’s common.

    I’ll have to re-read this again, some of it is cryptic…

    @Bikozulu – ‘Drunk’ was awesome to read.

    17
  • Ivaline
    05.06.2018

    Millenials really need help. Everything is moving so fast for them, and they want everything to be instant at the click of a button. they need to slow down. Thanks for taking your time to talk with this one, guide him, you might help him find his path.

    4
  • Wema
    05.06.2018

    Must be really great thighs that you keep staring at the whole day!

    12
  • Wesh - Peter Wesh
    05.06.2018

    Fred would make a great millennial friend. He is at a place that brings bad taste to my mouth. The depressing period between 22 and 29. I’ll turn 27 soon and in all honesty I can’t wait to be 30 or something. Heard it gets better. Surer. I believe millennials should get a medal for not getting depressed, irreparably fucked up or in a weird cult during this dark age. I wouldn’t know how it was to grow up in the older generations but seems like life was pretty straightforward. It isn’t now. Sometimes it feels like the devil is playing up your future like a bluesy ballad. Or balancing off a cliff. Fun and death all in you face at once. Some mornings, maybe all mornings, all I do is ask the good lord to help me take a day at a time. For my sake. His sake too.

    I can’t stop grinning at the thought of a burning chef running across the restaurant area.

    61
    • TheBlackKennedy
      05.06.2018

      “…maybe all mornings, all I do is ask the good lord to help me take a day at a time…”

      I can relate Bro.

      6
    • Melchi
      05.06.2018

      Every day, indeed needs to be taken just as it comes.

    • Malaika
      05.06.2018

      Am in my thirties.. Early thirties. True it gets easier to handle all the bull thrown at you. But you still unsure if this is the right path. You learn to silence the voices and the craziness that is social media. You know who you are as a person. You are never one person but you wear different hats for different people in your life. You learn that you will get there eventually, as long as you are working at it, you will get there if not farther.
      Am enjoying my thirties. My twenties were crazy.. whew!

      17
      • Leana
        08.06.2018

        That’s true, people want you to be ‘a little bit like this’ when you are ‘a little bit like that’ So you keep on wearing different hats depending on the %ge of the ‘a little bit like’ they want you to be at

      • Bee Em
        28.06.2018

        Am in my 30s too and the greatest lessons I’ve learnt are:
        1) I’ll always make mistakes, sometimes good accidental mistakes with great outcomes and sometimes horrible mistakes that have a terrible outcome. Either way, the grace of God is sufficient. The greatest tragedy is learning nothing from the mistake

        2) everyone will have an opinion . the least you can do is listen and consider it critically, the worst is not agreeing to disagree and moulding yourself or the other person to suit your opinion

        3)honest criticism is much better than praise. It shows areas one needs to improve on. The worst people to interact with are ‘yes men’ they never challenge or inspire one to grow into anything…

        4) you can never please everyone. So whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability or don’t start doing it.

        5) you’ve got an opinion, there’s no harm in sharing it, you may learn a thing or two just by sharing it. But note that not everyone will agree with it….and you don’t have to change your opinion if you are not persuaded you need to

        6) be open to learning, to voice out your mind and to criticism.

        7) of all magical words, I am sorry is the greatest

        1
  • Lucy
    05.06.2018

    This story mostly speaks to those that identify with it, I guess it’s the reason Linda did not comprehend. I feel the same way most of the time too. I’m 25 btw, and these stories are helping me realize that we are all a work in progress and the day we get to accept who we really are and stop living up to people’s expectations and demands, we’ll see life in a different light.

    Great Piece.

    16
  • JANE LILIAN
    05.06.2018

    You should start your start your blog post with “pour yourself a cup of tea and chock” hehehe

    1
  • Wahu Kariuki
    05.06.2018

    Interesting piece. I however think I am now more confused about millennials than I was before reading it. Is the quest of being an individual a result of western influence? We grew up in a communal setting where everything was connected and we each knew where we fit in the larger picture. The thought of ‘no-one understands me’ never crossed our minds. I think the individualistic tendencies is a scaring place to be, you can easily get lost in there

    10
  • a gil has no name
    05.06.2018

    Biko, I totally relate with this article. I mean the 40s series are interesting because that is where we are headed and it kinda puzzles me that a normal human being would go through all kinds of stuff. Point is I am here for these series. Maybe people in your age bracket can be able to see (read) and understand what we go through as well. We get to be judged by older people just think that our struggles; drugs, identity, social life etc lol….is not a problem but it really is. Like we should never have such struggles because they didn’t experience that in our age. We need people who can listen and understand us to. 🙂

    5
    • Lydia
      05.06.2018

      Your name though…

      3
      • Terry
        06.06.2018

        The name reminds me of Game of Thrones

        1
  • David Mwenda
    05.06.2018

    U should do a millennial series I would love to read and probably write a story about it who knows and finally we got to know Fred alittle which is good

    5
  • Ike
    05.06.2018

    I have nephews and nieces who are millennials.It is not easy to understand this generation,I let them be.My 8yrs old son already finds me too old

    2
  • The Black Kennedy
    05.06.2018

    “Who knows what he’s saying half the time, he’s a millennial.”

    I like that….

    3
  • Mosehmoseti
    05.06.2018

    Cesspit,Smorgasbord….the f**K

    1
  • Die-hard fan
    05.06.2018

    wow!! I totally get him. just like him, I’m 25 and also introspective. On top of that, I am an introvert and like to spend time alone. Society, most especially our parents, have expectations, most of which are different from mine.

    5
  • Kimani
    05.06.2018

    “If you left your tea cup empty, you’d find her personality in it. Grace was sunshine”. Grace you should have this printed on a t-shirt. Make it a brand.
    Now to “individuals” don’t code life put it as it is. That way, life will be legible.

    9
  • Thuram
    05.06.2018

    For real he sounds like Kanye,Nice read though.

    1
  • W.K
    05.06.2018

    Please do a follow up series on Millennials Biko!! Lord knows we need it!

    2
  • Biegon, Dutch of Kericho
    05.06.2018

    I didn’t understand parts of what he (Hannafi) said. Am I even millennial?

  • King
    05.06.2018

    Speaking as a millennial, being one is difficult. You don’t really get to know who you are. You’re constantly trying to find yourself in friends, music, celebrities, trends and social media. It’s all about what phone you have and what clothes you wear, it’s just pressure.
    Ironically, these friends and social media guys you constantly try to find yourself in are as lost as you and are just better at hiding it.
    So basically, identity crisis causes all these other problems – depression, anxiety et al
    Hanafi is definitely not alone

    13
    • Hapakule
      05.06.2018

      “…these friends and social media guys you constantly try to find yourself in are as lost as you and are just better at hiding it.” Accurate fam!!!

      6
  • Queen of Wakanda
    05.06.2018

    hahhaha this is niiice!! so i love reading Biko’s stuff but am one of those faithful ghost readers who read and enjoy his stories in the comfort of the shadows but this story has dragged me out here, reason being i once worked at the Office Park Riverside Drive and i knew the characters there and yes Grace, she is just the way she is described there. Now my curiosity couldn’t let me finish the story first because i have some things i need to do (need to go take my lunch hour nap) and i didn’t want to finish this story in a hurry to find out who is the Author of this beautiful piece!! i did not know we had a writer in Office Park, you definitely would have been a friend of mine, who are you? is this you Biko? could i have worked with you under the same roof and never knew you? that to me will be a big tragedy 🙁 i hope it is not you
    okay bye back to the shadows , no going for the nap 🙂

    6
  • Macharia
    05.06.2018

    Wow. This is a hard to understand generation but i look forward to a millennial. series.

  • Muigai
    05.06.2018

    What is he saying?Hes saying so many things at once.Theres a message hes putting across

    1
  • Karyah Margaret
    05.06.2018

    Thank you for writing about millenials. Half the time i want to tell my relatives to back off and let me decide on what i want to do and become. Let me make all the mistakes and learn all i need from them is support because that protective bubble chokes.

    I rebel from everything because i have grown up being told what to do, what is right and wrong, now I’m grown, all the wrongs seem right and all the rights wrong.

    It’s hard growing up and you still don’t know who you are. It’s tough.

    5
  • Nancy Mutekwa
    05.06.2018

    Self-confidence, self-love, self-identity is as important as eating Ugali. xo

    1
    • Juster
      05.06.2018

      Biko we need more information on millenials so that we don’t make the same mistakes as the generation before us. Our youth live in confusion and I don’t want my seven and five year olds to go through the same because of my mistakes.

  • Leona B
    05.06.2018

    The Kao in us never really goes away. It lingers, waiting to pounce when least expected. Like when called out to address a gathering. And you go like “Has we all know, we al idifinduals who al idefentent” (as we all know, we are individuals who are independent).

    Great piece, as always.

    13
    • Lither
      05.06.2018

      Hahahah……. THIS!

  • Wangechi
    05.06.2018

    I completely understood what he said! Cryptic in that way because I’m also a millenial so I share in this identity conundrum.

    4
  • Mutiso
    05.06.2018

    Before things went pear-shaped and strange people found us – Good one

  • Eva K
    05.06.2018

    V interesting read…I have a renewed understanding of millenials…I think.

    Thanks for captivating us as usual Biko.

  • Wangechi
    05.06.2018

    I completely understood what he said! Cryptic in that way because I’m also a millenial and I share in this identity conundrum.

  • Aisha
    05.06.2018

    This guy, Hanafi Kaka is deep. I wish you left the link to his blog, hopefully, he will not encrypt everything like he unfollowed people on social media.

    3
    • Suke Francis
      05.06.2018

      Personally I’d wish for a sit down. He seems the right kind of person I need to listen to.

      1
    • Nigel M. Nassar
      06.06.2018

      Trust me he sounds the type to encrypt it all

  • KANYUIRA
    05.06.2018

    I can relate to every line. I am son of who who is a son of who and so i should be this and this. We are fucked up. Sums it all.

  • TJ
    05.06.2018

    Definitely looking forward to the Millennials’ series .

  • this individual
    05.06.2018

    Mukorino person feeling a littu offended.

    6
  • Tony
    05.06.2018

    Hanafi Kaka, my roomie way back in MKU, good to know he still has his weird side and personality and he’s doing great. His articles have been good. Mention (Branka) to him next time.
    We millenials are stuck with identity, struggling relationships with our parents who don’t seem to view things from our perspective, romantic relationships which mostly don’t work out.

    2
    • Hanafi
      05.06.2018

      Tony boy!!! Is how my man? Been a minute huh? Kigen would love to Hola! Find me on the socials. We gots to rewire.

      2
  • Kareh
    05.06.2018

    This Hanafi guy sounds very very complicated. I.O.N what are these Akorino colours?

    1
  • Pascal
    05.06.2018

    So peeps here comment before the actually read the content wau!

    1
  • Tony
    05.06.2018

    Hanafi Kaka. My roomie way back in MKU, good to know he still listens to Kanye, EDMs and still has his weird personality and he’s doing great.
    Mention (Branka) to him, he’ll remember.

    We millenials are stuck with identity issues, struggling relations with our parents who don’t have the same point of view of things and perspective, romantic relationships which mostly never work and leave us confused and dazzled.
    It takes time for one to fully discover themselves

    2
  • Jen
    05.06.2018

    I love it. This is so raw and so true. A true reflection of where he is right now and what he wants to be. Life is just life, people are just people… I do wish he would stop with the Valium though and just live.

    1
  • Regina Nnakasolya
    05.06.2018

    Yes, whats with the thighs 🙂

    2
  • cliff
    05.06.2018

    So much sense by Hanafi Kaka. The confusion and chaos in being a millennial is real! Sometimes you think that you have figured everything out and that all is well and then boom! back to square one. It is tough but again, nobody said that it is going to be easy. C’est la vie! I think it is important to check up on people around us.
    Talking of Bon Iver, You know how when you listen to a song long enough, over and over again each day, sometimes twice a day for awhile? Usually you get sick of it and stop listening for some time. But with his songs, it’s different. No matter how many times you listen to them, no matter how long, they never get old. When you finally find a song that never gets old, you truly find something special. Bon Iver music is therapeutic.

    Fred, thumbs up.

    10
  • Sanaipei
    05.06.2018

    I understood some of it. I wonder whether my need to see a shrink once in a month automatically places me into the millennial generation unable to deal with life’s push backs. Is it that we are too weak for this life’s or are we (all of us) just generational disadvantaged?

    1
  • Wambu
    05.06.2018

    I understand his age..When I was 23 it hit me that I was no longer a child.I had to fly solo and be a responsible girl.You start feeling like you want your life now,don’t want parents or anybody to interfere.God helped me and now I have my own family.Let’s give Mukorino time,,he will come out as a winner.I strongly discourage the valium bit though

    1
  • HapaKule
    05.06.2018

    What do we call those of us between 27-34 who can relate? As always interesting read. Yes please, the millennial column would be a hit and quite informative.

  • Eva Nyawira
    05.06.2018

    Wow is life really this serious?I barely understand most of the things he’s said yet I’m 25..need to reread this and listen to they guy inside me for a minute

  • Muloki
    05.06.2018

    Please write about the evil interracial couple.

    2
  • Garry Rich
    05.06.2018

    I had to Google Toni’s thighs halfway through

    1
  • Bob
    05.06.2018

    Biko, what do you have against Akorino’s

  • irene
    05.06.2018

    i still don’t get the millennial, they are too complex for me

  • P. K.
    05.06.2018

    When I was 25/26 my dad died and I had quarterlife crisis. I didnt realize it then but it exists. My cousin told me some sagely words which helped me out of it together with the university shrink. “If your first 25 years of life are messed up notch it up to your folks and move to make your own 25 years which when you are 50 you can look back and tell your children see the steps I took. This are my own. Uninfluenced by anyone else except God and time. And I did… Was it ok? No. I messed up big time I did stuff I regretted and I moved to do courses I stopped midway, worked at places where I fired the employer etc. But I owned it. The owning it makes me believe that I understand where Hanafi is coming from. He is adulting his way.

    7
  • Merab
    05.06.2018

    wow!so much sense in here.Different struggles we have….if its not identity, its relationships, jobs, expectations we have to meet and still having to get it right…..oh and its good you clarified what takes most of your afternoons chocolate man, “staring at Toni’s thighs” , was about to ask hehe

    1
  • Nyambura Kagwe
    05.06.2018

    …..The truth. Aren’t we all trying to find ourselves?

    3
  • Wanja
    05.06.2018

    Wow, what to say to this? I have so much anxiety yet I don’t pop Valium. I disagree with the parent figures in my life but I don’t hack off a section of my hair. By the way, in which generation do I, in my late 20s, belong to? Maybe I am just an old soul.

    Anyway, going by the comments, Hanafi Kaka’s words resonate with these “individuals” so all of us ‘old souls’ just have to watch this space and try to understand them as individuals.

  • Faith
    05.06.2018

    Oh, Biko has a Beard

    1
  • Beth
    05.06.2018

    I am 29,and I don’t understand what he is saying also. But I kinda felt him. Nowadays there is usually too much pressure to be,or not to be.

    “…I wanted what I wanted even if I didn’t know what I wanted.” My life in a nutshell.

    1
  • Mims
    05.06.2018

    I so identify with him .Especially the relationship he has with the world verses what happens in the inside.Sometimes, we walk around wounded and we have so much war within,wars no one will ever know except us.

  • Denis Munuve
    05.06.2018

    Kao shirts ! Kao shirts!

  • Dickson
    05.06.2018

    I’ve been 30 for a while now, and most of what Hanafi says is still relatable.

    We were born of parents who were caught up between our Africa culture and a little westernization, who in turn tried correcting everything that was wrong (in their eyes) with their upbringing on us. I spent my first 20 years of my life under that shadow. The other 12 have been a haze of confusion, trials and errors, rebellion, and a realization that I needed to get a grip on life before it all span away.

    Life really is fucked up, more for millennial than for others.

    3
  • Lee
    05.06.2018

    As a millennial, I could relate to this on so many levels!

    When Hanafi said, ‘“I think we’re scared when we can’t identify something, especially myself. I think that’s way more scary than ever. Because if you know who you are nobody can tell you who to be. So that scares me. If I don’t know who I am now, I think I’m in a vulnerable position to shape me into the person they want me to become. So I need to make sure I know who I am. So nobody can have that power over me. Cause that places you in a situation where anybody can manipulate you.” I felt that.

    Really looking forward to the Millennials series.

    1
  • Sally
    05.06.2018

    Millenials just need space to be without people trying to fix them. As one of them I have experienced some of the stuff and how I get by is taking time alone to get things into perspective. I also found cooking to be therapeutic and after a tough day I retreat to my apartment and cook up a storm.

    Looking forward to the millenial segment

    3
  • SuchisLife
    05.06.2018

    Our parents fucked us up thats for sure. I totally understand.Just last month I had a new sibling who had my three names. I was walking around bitter and angry and thinking okay right now even my name which feels like the only thing I have ever owned is not mine. I started having this crazy conversation in my head about what makes up you as a person,is it your name,your personality, your background but I made peace with it eventually.
    Waow nice read as usual.

    2
  • wanjikuWaNgigi
    05.06.2018

    floating floating floating

    1
  • D
    05.06.2018

    i had a similar conversation with my sister a day or two ago……………..

    Her: so you are turning 26 in a couple of months what can you say about 25?
    i had the same answer
    “I’d say identity. Different people in my life need me to be a different person to them. So it’s like for the last 25 years I’ve been a different person to each person to a point where I don’t know who I am. It becomes so much to internalize. It’s like I even take a break from life. And now I’m doing a lot of me-time to see what I am. So many reactions are happening, too many things happening. And you can’t really say is that an explosion, is that a star, is that an atom reacting? We don’t know what it is. ……
    “I think we’re scared when we can’t identify something, especially myself. I think that’s way more scary than ever. Because if you know who you are nobody can tell you who to be. So that scares me. If I don’t know who I am now, I think I’m in a vulnerable position to shape me into the person they want me to become. So I need to make sure I know who I am. So nobody can have that power over me. Cause that places you in a situation where anybody can manipulate you.”

    Sigh, this trying figure myself out!!

    1
  • Priscillah
    05.06.2018

    I am in my late 20’s and I relate.
    Please continue with the millennial series…

    1
  • Wamuthoga
    05.06.2018

    Hanafi reminded me of this poem

    This Be The Verse – By Philip Larkin

    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

    2
  • Bryan
    05.06.2018

    Deep.
    FYI, its “Pots and Palms”..

    • Nyagus
      08.06.2018

      you individual is right, right?? right.

  • Wendo Joy
    05.06.2018

    He unfollowed everyone, except Kanye! It makes a lot of sense Saves him time and the nerves of having to struggle to become what he really isn’t.

  • Margaret Kanyi Muchiri
    05.06.2018

    I did not understand half of your conversations too lol

  • Tracy
    05.06.2018

    Millennials can relate with this but as you grow older, you naturally just stop giving a fuck about what people think of you. But I have a kueschon; How exactly do you know that you are suffering from anxiety disorders?! Because I could be.

    3
  • Linda
    05.06.2018

    This is quite a refreshing read, it’s deep. However I would like to point out something. There is a difference between the normal anxiety that we experience and having an anxiety disorder. Anxiety is a state of nervousness or uncertainty. But Anxiety disorder is a disorder where one’s anxiety is uncontrollable and immovable and an individual only tries to use coping mechanisms to deal with it. Anxiety disorder can be put in the same category with Depression in terms of severity. Many times it also related to depression in the sense that it occurs with depression or it precedes depression. While a normal person may worry about bills, performance at the work place and social media, a person with anxiety disorder is plagued with anxiety to the extent that it may totally paralyze them. If Hafi says that he can’t be’ okay’ or ‘perform’ without taking anti anxiety meds then perhaps his anxiety has crossed beyond the normal levels. It’s something that should actually be taken seriously. I remember when I was in campus year 2012/2013. I was 20 years. I used to feel really anxious, it reached a point I started experiencing anxiety attacks. At that time I didn’t understand what was going on. I felt like I was going through a crisis yet I did not know what or why. I fell into depression for eight months after being drained by anxiety attacks. It was only later that I came to realize I might be struggling with anxiety, which I still do.
    The level of Anxiety has risen among millennials because of the pressures of social media, cyber bullying, fear of not being at par with peers and pressure to be extra creative and talented in high performing environments.
    Also there is something called ‘helicopter parenting’ that is common with parents of millenials. A helicopter parent is a parent who literally hovers around the life of their child. They make decisions for them, do not allow them to go play outside the house unsupervised, go to school to demand that their child should be given preferential treatment because their child has a certain ‘condition’. Heck, they will even call their kid’s boss when their kid is on internship to remind him to release the kid on time so that they don’t arrive home late. While these parents feel they are doing the best for their kids, they are actually raising Anxious children. Children who feel that they have no control over their lives and the circumstances around them. It is good to allow kids to have autonomy over their lives. In 1960s, 9 years old were sent together with their siblings to fetch firewood miles away. Our grandparents did not know much but they were very wise. Children played with others, felt confident to find their own path, found solutions to their own problems and most importantly felt in control of their lives.

    30
    • Hanafi
      05.06.2018

      This is a solid comment.

    • Peas in Pods
      06.06.2018

      Nailed it Lydia.

      • Peas in Pods
        06.06.2018

        *meant Linda. The Helicopter parents concept too has a lot of truth in it.

  • ces
    05.06.2018

    “There is a difference between who I’m expressing outside, and who I am feeling like inside. ‘Cause the person I’m expressing outside is the person I want to become. But the person I’m feeling inside is a big combination of identities that I still can’t consolidate.”

    I’m now on the 4th floor but spent my mid to late twenties feeling lost, confused and unsure of who I was. Fortunately I came out unscathed-almost……..

    1
  • Switch
    05.06.2018

    Is there a way Toni could take a selfie of her thighs?

  • Suke Francis
    05.06.2018

    **There is a difference between who I’m expressing outside, and who I am feeling like inside. ‘Cause the person I’m expressing outside is the person I want to become. But the person I’m feeling inside is a big combination of identities that I still can’t consolidate.”**

    I personally get angry and moody when this happens, frustrates me so much I either bite myself or punch the closest thing. Haha Is it normal?

    2
  • Lil
    05.06.2018

    Lol. Come on 🙂 , we are individuals trying to be identifiable in a world with 7.6 billion other people.
    Wow. This article so captures the millennial-struggle to be unique, find purpose; and basically to bridge the gap between the fact that we thought that we were more than ordinary yet in reality we are average.

  • Abdul
    05.06.2018

    Great read. Wish I’d also tell my story that way..

  • Kadonye
    05.06.2018

    Urgh! Stop with all the angst millennials, you don’t have problems – struggling with identity and social media aren’t problems, there’s people who’ve faced real trauma … Biko tells their stories here all the time. Get over yourselves & stop self medicating, sincerely, fellow millennial.

    4
    • She In Progress
      05.06.2018

      Thank you Kadonye,
      But the fact that other people have what you would call “real struggles” doesn’t mean that Hannafi’s struggle is any less troublesome. That there exists a poor child’s in Syria who has just seen his parents’ head blown off does not mean that person X’s inability to get out of bed is any less of a struggle. It might be angst. But it’s (insert name here) angst, and you don’t get to judge.
      Sincerely,
      Another Milennial.

      12
    • Hanafi
      05.06.2018

      This is insensitive.

      3
    • Millie
      05.06.2018

      I used to wonder why some rich kids in school used to act like they have big problems and judge them harshly because I was from the ghetto and I considered my challenges more “serious”

      Now I am slightly better off and I understand those kids I used to judge. There is no problem that is more serious than the other. The intensity of the negative effects of the problem on the individual is the key worry. Be your own individual and cut others some slack.

      6
  • Kinaga
    05.06.2018

    I’m a millennial but just like Linda, I didn’t understand half of what this guy says. Or is it half of what you heard Biko?

    1
  • Cobz
    05.06.2018

    This was a “live” conversation and very interesting to me. I think it scratched the surface and Hanafi shared with you what I have been feeling something many face. Its interesting that even as millennial grapple struggle with the same issues as non-millennial: identities. You summed it very well. Individuals and its dealing and understanding yourself as an individual that makes it easier to get by.

    This post, today has really pressed in me that I have a role to play to mentor and talk to others, not as someone who has/had the answers but one who went through and doesn’t know. But is okay to say he doesn’t know

  • Felix Abur
    05.06.2018

    All I could think of was, I don’t even know where to get valium!

    4
  • Ken Kago
    05.06.2018

    Hi!
    Hanafi paints a rather confused, if sometimes pitiful picture, (to some of us oldies) about Millenials. Are we then luckier that we turned 25 in a different era? Did I KNOW who I was at his age? Not by a long shot! Oh, I didn’t know about Valium for sure, thankfully! I can’t imagine being hooked. It would still amount to substance abuse and you don’t want to be dependent on anything! But more times than I am embarrassed to admit, I have wished I was younger, Hanafi’s age even. Truth be told, I do envy them sometimes. I miss the derring-do attitude I had back then. But alas! you soon discover that ‘that air of superiority to the rest of the world (who didn’t sometimes feel it at Hanafi’s age?) usually disappears when once the twenties have passed’. My advise to Hanafi would be to enjoy it while it lasts! Before he knows it, he will be our age and wondering what is it with the Millenials (what will be they called?) of their time?
    Quite thoughtful a read!

    2
    • Hanafi
      05.06.2018

      Thank you, Ken. Thank you.

  • Empress
    05.06.2018

    Toni’s thighs!
    Aha!

    Does she know you stare;-)

  • Hokah
    05.06.2018

    Biko, when you start the Millenials’ Series; I am here. We are here. So much happens inside us and around us, we rarely have our act together. Maybe I also need Valium..

  • A Fan
    05.06.2018

    Kudos Fred!!

    “I’m very proud of what he’s done for himself – from watching a chef burn to watching the windmills turn out on Ngong Hills in the horizon.”

  • feli
    05.06.2018

    Great read Biko.I get this. Was talking to this young lady ,she is in fourth year doing law in a very good campus but she feels like she does not want to do it anymore. I quit my job once six years ago because I felt lost and I hated it.My mom could not understand and I only told her I quit after I had handed in my resignation.I had got fired from my first job a year before that. That one year I stayed at home was the most remarkable year.Its like I need to be on my own. I do feel like with the pressure to achieve , and this vision our parents have of what we should be it is possible to feel like we are not allowed to find ourselves. Like we have to be like this or that. We are not allowed to take time off to figure things out. I am a highly introverted person but I always felt like I needed to be more talkative, outgoing.In fact for a long term I hated that word introvert because people were always telling me to speak up more. Asking me why am so quiet . At times i have been made to feel like I was not allowed to be myself because it was not cool enough. Now in my thirties if someone complains about me being in a certain way I tell them,’ I was born this way,so deal with it’. By the way like that song from Lady Gaga. She is one of my favorite artist, I see how unusual she is and i love that about her.

    1
  • JB
    05.06.2018

    I think millennials are overrated. I am supposed to be one of them so I know what I am saying. Every generation has had it’s share of challenges and I am sure all of them thought they were not understood by previous generations or that the previous generations messed them up! You/we are not special.. The limelight is on you for now so maybe that’s why you are feeling the heat and soon it will move to generation Z who many are already dreading. That’s just life.So Do YOU! The rest are details.

    4
  • Monique
    05.06.2018

    “Who knows what he’s saying half the time, he’s a millennial.”

    To mean, he’s an individual.
    This right here is the problem. Millennials change their convictions like the weather. I will blame God, my grandmother and my cat for my situation. Nobody and nothing will be spared. In the same breath I will own the situation as my choice_which nobody should dare commend or criticize because… I am an individual. It is a web. We need to be easy on ourselves before we get entangled and bring down life expectancy to 35.

    2
  • Millenial
    05.06.2018

    Millenial series… yes yes yes.
    A 22 year old who has managed to convince herself to focus on herself, save money and live a day at a time. I feel that everything among us is a phase. I went through the social media depresssion 2 years ago (i didnt unfollow everyone though haha). I found a distraction to focus on myself, summed up some cash willing to buy some shares my mum has been talking about to my elder sisters( who are not millenials) but apparently my money was not as good as theirs. ha! Parents! They some times play a part in turning us into rebels. Not that am one, yet.

  • Oscar
    05.06.2018

    I am 25 and I totally relate to the persona in this article. 25 is a defining age. 25 isn’t the age where one can make mistakes and make amends later on in life. Not for the millennials. Those of the previous generations fathom with the idea of trying to understand us. We also in a hullaballoo trying to understand you and your ancestral ways. In this millennial era everything seems clear from a distance, blurry at a close range and totally black at normal view. We deal with life issues in a quite absurd manner, but it’s just our way of doing our stuff. We draw tattoos on our bodies to remind ourselves of something. We listen to certain music to match the rhythm of our life, emotions, thoughts and everything that’s going through our minds. Neither Biko or Linda might understand Hanafi. But I totally understand him. When he talks about the differences he had with his parents, I am reminded of when my mom told me that I am a burden at age 21 and told me to find a life away from her home. Packed my stuff and left the small town in Ugenya constituency and my destination was Mombasa. Life was a blank page without any defining lines. I knew no one in Mombasa. But as a millennial, I wanted to go as far as I could. That was my way of dealing with the then situation. I didn’t cut my hair, but I grew bitter, the kind of bitterness that makes me want to kill someone when I feel that I ain’t feeling their vibe. I don’t do selfies. I don’t do dates. I’m still trying to find myself. Maybe someday I’ll cut my hair. Maybe someday I’ll find peace. Maybe someday I’ll date again. In the meantime, I’m stretching my legs in the youthful pitch of millennialism. If my legs don’t kick the ball, I am certain that I’ll kick something, even if that thing will be someone.

    6
    • ces
      05.06.2018

      Find help……..very quickly

      “…………………the kind of bitterness that makes me want to kill someone when I feel that I ain’t feeling their vibe.”

  • J J
    05.06.2018

    “…and strange people found us – people who comment before reading.”
    I graduate from the other group of people,The Ghost Readers Sacco-for people who read without commenting, after posting this comment.
    It was a nice read. A piece I can identify with. Actual self definition is difficult with all the different social circles of family, peers, neighbours, colleagues etc that probably view us through different lenses.
    The 40s stories are still my favourite though. Maybe it’s the intense weight of emotional years that they carry.
    I can’t leave without saying this on my first post….Biko, you are a great writer ☺

  • Sir Elvis Mayaka
    05.06.2018

    People were taking selfies long before us, though. Have you ever been forced to sit through a slide show of a family vacation? It’s basically a series of photos of a family posing in front of a bunch of landmarks. That’s what a selfie is, albeit with more primitive technology. You do something cool, and then take a photo of yourself so you can prove to other people that you did something cool. That’s nothing new

  • Mutheu
    05.06.2018

    “….identity. Different people in my life need me to be a different person to them. So it’s like for the last 25 years I’ve been a different person to each person to a point where I don’t know who I am.”

    Very relatable!

  • Joachim Nderi
    05.06.2018

    Great read as always.

  • kiri
    05.06.2018

    yeah, thats the 25 year old me, only that he is being mirrored in Hanaki. And yes, a series on Millennials will work beautifully…

  • C
    05.06.2018

    Your fetish for Toni’s thigh is amazing,………mine is Lil Kim’s boobs,…..not your Kim though……

    1
  • Eric
    05.06.2018

    Thanks Biko. Beautiful and captivating, scary but insightful. He is a genius, an individual. Thank him for us, for being ‘vulnerable’.

    1
  • Stained Soul
    05.06.2018

    Someone said that youth is wasted on the young. Almost twice Hanafi’s age, curiously, I understand him except the valium. The best advice to any person I guess would be, be your own MAN. You have your life and other people theirs, live yours to the best that you can make it and don’t bother with what the others think of it. If it’s your best then it’s your best, period.

  • abdullah omar
    05.06.2018

    you hit the nail on the head and very hard.a product of the fucked up generation.i could be that father!

  • Job
    05.06.2018

    Thumbs Hugh Biko, fabulous and insightful.

  • grace wawuda
    05.06.2018

    Thats the personality of all Graces.. Haha .. Your obssesion with toni is crazy

    1
  • I’m in awe of the nerdy millennials..those technocrats who’ve figured out ways to do stuff that the rest of the world will take eons to catch up on.
    I think they are a breath of fresh air.
    The millennials who walk about with a deep sense of entitlement..like the world owes them something…noppity nope. Cannot deal.
    ION; popping pills leads to addiction. Millenials need direction, and as much as is possible, strong figures to mentor them, and to help them channel their energies into something useful. Time goes by very fast.

    1
  • Kui
    05.06.2018

    I can see myself in Hanafi. The anxiety, the broodiness, the introspection. I’ve got a million voices in my head, and sometimes I want them to stop, so I can breathe, so I can hear myself think.
    I worry that the anxiety won’t ever go away but I’m learning to live with it.
    A solace to know that I’m not the only one feeling all these things, and struggling to express myself in a way that won’t make people judge me as certifiable.

  • 27_35
    05.06.2018

    We who are not considered millenials or grown where do we fit it in this categorised universe. We who are 27-35, maybe starting out families, with not enough savings for anything really, just enough to get by. Too old to ask anything from our folks yet too young to have anything in our names. Not getting the corner office because we are not experienced enough yet we do all the work. We who do not have the luxury of self diagnosis of anxiety or stress. ….

    1
  • Twenty Seven
    05.06.2018

    We who are not considered millenials or grown where do we fit it in this categorised universe. We who are 27-35, maybe starting out families, with not enough savings for anything really, just enough to get by. Too old to ask anything from our folks yet too young to have anything in our names. Not getting the corner office because we are not experienced enough yet we do all the work. We who do not have the luxury of self diagnosis of anxiety or stress. ….

    1
  • Joyce
    05.06.2018

    Hahaaa! This is so confusing! and hilarious at the same time!

  • Miriam
    05.06.2018

    Millennial…… I do not understand….
    ‘Drunk’ is a good read. Waiting for the next book.

  • Mtata
    05.06.2018

    ….You, reading this, is probably an old cracked mirror. Or an aged broken clock. But at least you are right twice a day, right? Right?

    1
  • Cassie
    05.06.2018

    And lately Biko your articles have got me writing.
    Literally like I get a spark and start writing but mostly about life……the thoughts you can tell anyone but you can not at the same time coz you don’t think they’ll understand….or you’ll be viewed differently ..Vulnerability is a strength some have it ,some have to work towards it.
    So I laud Hanafi…

    1
  • Sophie
    05.06.2018

    When I reading this, I kept thinking that at then end, you will be introducing a new blog theme on the millennials. I enjoyed the 40’s people theme that resonates with me and while I am in the category that finds it hard to understand the millennial generation, reading this article made me think, wait a minute, are we listening? Many of us sit and mourn about this generation, and we are sure even if our parents thought we were a lost generation, we were not “this lost”! You took time to listen, ask questions in a non judgmental tone. We need to listen more to what the millennial generation is saying. Nice read.

    I hope you are going to start the millennial series. I would wish to understand them more and judge them less.

    3
  • Vincent Kiprop
    05.06.2018

    I’m 25 yet I struggle to relate with him. I am that who’s considered boring by a click of the so called Millenials. I now got fewer friends most of them are double my age. The millenial pressure is real. But the dose is to deliberately cut off some stuff. Have you ever found yourself in a room full of young guys yet you feel the odd one out in the conversation? I am happy at 50 yet am literally 25. I feel double my age.

    4
  • Cascade
    05.06.2018

    Damn! Why do I relate with this so much? Identity crisis is terrible. Not knowing whom you are, yet everyone else has these overrated expectations of you. I am a mother, a single mum. Everyone around me thinks I am a super mum; one with her shit together. But when it’s night time, when every one retires, my demons awake. Their voices are so loud and invade every sphere of my life.

    I look at my daughter, who I love very much, and all that fills my mind is pity. I can’t help but kinda regret getting her when I did, and wish that she had come at a better time. I soak my sheets and pillows with tears for the things I can’t give her.

    When I switch on the TV, I see people I know who are doing great. The same on social media and on newspapers. And they all shout at me saying “Look at yourself: What have you done to yourself?”

    Yet here I am wishing I could just have a normal life. Not one of loud success, just one free of worries. At times I get too anxious my mind goes blank for days. Other times I am so disconnected all I do is sleep for days without eating before I can pick myself up. And no one but me knows of this dark side of me. All they see is a bubbly supermom. That is the image I project no matter how messed up I am, because it is what everyone else expects me to be no matter the cost. And I am not even a millennial.

    7
    • Joe
      07.06.2018

      You and I both….there are days when I just say fudge it to everything. Lock myself up for 3 days without doing nothing – just in bed. After the darkness washes over, is then I awaken, to a new phase. Bubbly, energetic – till it starts all over again.
      I still haven’t figured out my triggers yet. But I’m a work in progress. Funny, because people think I have my sh!t
      together. LOL.
      I have my moments when I indulge in a tot or three of whiskey and euphoria washes over , im a new person – an alter ego. See, I stay away from it (whiskey) because they (people mostly ladies) will fall for the other person.

      4
      • Cascade
        08.06.2018

        Oooh boy! How I hate those days! I, too, have no idea what my triggers are. And it is terrible coz it goes for up to a week. Being a freelancer, this usually spirals over to my work as the only thing I do in those days is sleep and sleep some more. Then I start stressing over not having money and worrying about paying my bills but somehow I tend to pull through. I get scared of the time when the episodes will be too overwhelming but I hope it doesn’t get there. At times I think of getting help but how can I when I don’t even know how to explain what it is that is ailing me?

        More power to you! May we overcome this in one piece and may the episodes keep shrinking till they are no more.

        1
        • Joe
          21.06.2018

          We shall overcome, Inshallah!

  • Interesting insight in the mind of a millenial.

    The Valium is not helping Hanafi, its makes the anxiety worse during withdrawal period..

  • Millenial
    05.06.2018

    Still waiting on THE story to launch

  • Njery
    05.06.2018

    Wow! We are individuals
    Pliz Biko, write a series on the Millenials!
    I’m 25 and I can relate , Trying to understand myself, who I am and different personalities I adopt to actually to able to survive in various circumstances
    I think we just want to be us at the workplace.
    we hate rules, routine and it’s never that’s serious!
    We want to drink whiskey in the office but we can still deliver on our assignments(infact, be assured we’ll perform exemplary)
    Oh and we love to take our fashion to the office,(no doubt?) Did I mention that we all love Kanye!
    In fact we secretly wish we’d wear YEEZY to the office !

    1
  • john jim
    05.06.2018

    So much has been said but the truth is in this generation there are so many fake people that we the young people look at and we end making stupid decisions..our parents too havent updated their parenting notes,most are still using the notes our grandmothers used on them and this has been cause of conflicts..you should do the series and probably those who cant understand will probably do

    1
  • Che Guevaress
    06.06.2018

    I’m barely 21 yet I couldn’t finish this whole story. Maybe it’s the late hour, or maybe because I don’t think life is that serious. I think our parents did the best, most of them anyway. At least I think mine did. I think we have more opportunities to discover ourselves, and we have been allowed to. You have the time to fall and get back up,most of us just haven’t realized this yet.. Most of us aren’t rushing to get married by 26 or have 2.5 kids by 30. We went to better schools than our parents, ate better food than they did, wore better clothes, definitely wore better clothes. Some of us realize that we really aren’t special, that the problems we think we have now have probably been experienced by someone my age 40 years ago. Kwani you think we’re the first people to have existential crises? Some of us know the value of being confused in silence, speak only if what you’re going to say makes sense to you, when you have no doubt about it. I look forward to this series but please, no articles about, idk, whatever was spoken about here. We’re really not that deep, we just think we are. That’s the mark of a true milennial

    3
  • Min Kiki
    06.06.2018

    Poignant. Thank you Biko. It’s true, no one has it easy, regardless of generation.

    “We are all anxious about something at any point in our lives. But at 25-years, my God, you can make a million mistakes now and still have time to spring back. Hell, I can mistakes now and still spring back,” I said. “But you don’t take pills for anxiety. You live life. You overcome them or accept them or change them.” This is much easier said than done. For real! Easier said than done.

    On a lighter note, those who say etc in speech are better than those who say “LOL!”

  • Tush
    06.06.2018

    Where do they sell Valium?

  • Mona
    06.06.2018

    So far, nobody has explained Millennials to me better than Sharon Machira via her vlog titled, MILLENNIALS IN AFRICA. It helped me understand some of my own conflicts.

    3
  • Lawyer-girl
    06.06.2018

    I’m with Linda. What is he saying? I kept re-reading statements, trying to understand what he means. Very cryptic.

  • FrankMwenda
    06.06.2018

    Yes… “They are the millennials. This is their time. Their moment. Their space. Their internet. We are just furniture. I’m just an old rocking chair. You, reading this, is probably an old cracked mirror. Or an aged broken clock. But at least you are right twice a day, right? Right?”

  • NotAMillenial
    06.06.2018

    i pity millennials growing up in this era cant be easy. its all the pressure from social media coupled by parents that are so focused on making money and are equally vain.i mean i take selfies bcoz i am vain no deeper reason behind it, but these millenials are struggling man!now i feel bad for my kids. i’m i messing them up?what world will they grow up in.
    There is a big problem when one of your role models is Kanye..i hate new”WOKE” Kanye.i think he is full of shit and trying to be deep.i love old Kanye.loved his music, still listen and rap along to it.but this new one is clearly mIsleading alot of young’ns.This boy clearly also has an addiction problem.he needs to get into therapy both rehab and psychiatric f he isnt already

    2
  • Nancy
    06.06.2018

    What’s Hanifa saying? I have kept re-reading what he’s saying. Guess am not ‘an Individual’. Millennials clearly have many issues. They need help…esp to find their identity and to help them to ‘ just live life!’ Am surprised at the their interpretation of a selfie. I thought it just that….. a selfie. Wa! Ok.

    Fred, your story in encouraging….. i can relate.

    Great piece Biko….kama kawaida.

    1
  • LAWRENCE
    06.06.2018

    Always a pressure reading your pieces Biko.
    Biggest millennial challenge; THE IDENTITY DILEMNA.
    Anyway in the spirit of small offices and the ensuing metamorphosis , I hereby take this opportunity to market myself ; check out http://www.lawpamconsulting.co.ke/ Feel free to make contact.

    Thanks.

  • Moondrunk Castle
    06.06.2018

    I don’t feel like a millenial, if this is what being a millenial is all about. I did feel an identity crisis and experience terrible angst when I was 18 up to 21. By the time I was 22, though, I had gotten my ish together in the emotional stability department (that left financial stability lol). I didn’t relate with this because I am no longer in that space, but the me I was about five years ago would probably relate very well.

  • ESKAY
    06.06.2018

    That chef would make a great career at Sizzlers!

  • Tess
    06.06.2018

    Here for the upcoming milenial series…. That is exactly what selfies are for me…

  • Judy
    06.06.2018

    I would love to see a picture of you in a mans lap. Then have you create a blog about it. Man, it would be hilarious.

    Anywho, I feel like reading this article all over again. Don’t know why though….I hate reading same stories twice.

    What have you got against Akorino colours anyway?

    1
  • Ireneann
    06.06.2018

    What happens when even 10mg of Valium isn’t enough? To all millennials,let’s find something therapeutic to silence the voices in our heads. Take a walk, knit,sing, paint, run,dance in the rain and be easy on yourself.Maybe this is a result of our parents only allowing us to play on the balconies.

    1
    • Kent Mwokoz
      07.06.2018

      I do movies to treat my anxiety… Or rilly any distraction works

      1
  • Nima
    06.06.2018

    Eish, I’m a millenial but this guy needs to cut the older generation some slack. They had to deal with parents whose parents lived in the early post-colonial era. They witnessed the ugly side of human beings, equipped with little knowledge on anything past their village and driven with a burning need to succeed. Did they limit our potential? Yes, by screwing up the country and social systems to their advantage but they also thought they were doing the best they could for us. As much as we have angst, anxiety, stress and depression, if we do not learn and push forward, our children will judge us the same with a worse cocktail of emotions.
    Our sin will be never making a difference but always choosing to complain.

    1
  • Nima
    06.06.2018

    If you were born between the early 80’s and mid 90’s, you are a millenial my friend.

    1
  • lmk
    06.06.2018

    I have tried vallium, codiene, marijuana, pills I cant even recall. You know what if some cocaine did come my way i would give it a sniff. I smoke, chew khat and like that kind of fun. But truth is millennials are fucked up in ways you can only begin to imagine. But we will grow into something one day the fun thing is not knowing what.

  • Brendah Rajwayi
    06.06.2018

    The music in my ears shuts all the noises in my head…..

    1
  • Wimmoh
    06.06.2018

    Just like Him am also 25 and struggling with identity. The world expects me to behave and act in a certain way like having a different personality away from what I really am. There are days that I feel like I don’t want to wake up or more like the earth can open up wide and swallow me. The people around me expect soo much and most of them don’t understand what I do or how I do it. I get terrified at times when I can’t stop the voices inside me. Despite all this, I still chose to take control and haven’t yet reached that level of using the pill neither do I think it will ever get to that point.

    1
    • Kent Mwokoz
      07.06.2018

      Fight for it…. I know I am.

  • The RR
    06.06.2018

    Good piece as always. Love poetry? Check out theregardedretarded.wordpress.com/2018/05/27/the-loner/ and leave a comment. Thanks

  • Adhiambo Natalie
    06.06.2018

    I have completely no idea what the millenial is saying….no idea!its confirmed…am old..

  • Kent Mwokoz
    07.06.2018

    I totally relate to this guy. Identity is something we the millennials have an issue with… Not necessarily where we come from but our characters, our limits, and our reactions.
    I also listen to headphones when am working or studying to hash out the voices in my head, and in my environment.
    I hate Kanye since last month.. He talk shit about black people (Not that i lived in America but it does speak volumes about the new him, he’s turned into)
    Toni’s thighs must be colorful.. How can Biko see them every DAAAAMN DAY!!!
    This blog rilly got me to thinking about my life though.. Hawa malecturers should get with our classes so I can join that dude in the hustling world. Love your blogs Biko

  • Kale Kajamaa
    07.06.2018

    Of selfies, someone once remarked “…..never before has a generation so diligently recorded itself achieving so little….”
    The twenties have been seen as a second adolesce while the ‘thirty is new twenty ‘ culture has led us to think that they don’t matter. I’d recommend a reading of the book ‘The Defining Decade: Why your twenties matter’ by Dr Meg Jay. It’s available on Amazon and various bookstores (I found it at prestige bookshop).
    The book may not change your life ( no book can, it all boils down to your desire to change), but you might benefit from some different insights and a different perspective of your twenties.

    1
  • Sophia
    07.06.2018

    I tend to think that we are all trying to find ourselves in this world.Self identity is like happiness,it’s not a destination but an every day job.That being said,it is tougher for the younger people because of the expectations that every one has of us,but i hope it gets better as one ages because then you have experienced so much in life you know what thoughts to give priority and what noises to shut out.

  • Ouma
    07.06.2018

    Biko, are you.referring to Toni Braxton’s thighs here!? If not, then kudos for trying to fulfill your fetish for Toni Braxton

  • MumEstin
    07.06.2018

    ”If you know who you are, nobody can tell you who to be”…I like this a lot, but how can anyone ever know this. I’m over 30yrs old and I still have identity crisis.

  • Bernard
    07.06.2018

    ”Such good times. The Hole In The Ground worked for us. It was a hole full of dreams. ”

    ….days of small beginnings.God does come through when we ask .Great piece Biko.

  • imma
    07.06.2018

    Ha ha i relate, yet am so old. I need that valium too to kill this anxiety.

  • Mercy :)
    07.06.2018

    everything I felt and couldn’t express has all been compressed and written in this article … if you have been 25 at this age … you can feel through Hanafi

  • Alex_mi
    07.06.2018

    Damn, this is soo me, minus the valium part. At 25, and am sure know most guys in this age bracket can relate, most of the time it feels like I am sleep-walking through life, blindly chasing after wind and other windy things. Especially the struggle with identity part, it feels like a tethered cow. You think you are free and in control and go about life exploring, trying to be something and someone. You put on so many personalities but drop them off as quickly as you wore them. Then reality hits and you get back to your tethered post, the person inside you, sigh and start all over again unknowingly.

  • Alex
    07.06.2018

    I always found hanafi kaka an interesting individual back in campus and he particularly loved reading and keeping up with Kardashians from the balcony till late,he loved writing poetry I rem….glad to read about him

  • Nyagus
    08.06.2018

    “You are not Mukorino, are you?” I think he was an undercover Mukorino. …really!! Biko. And by the way talking of millennials, I think in future,that term will be used to refer to the old folks he-he(I did not have to copy this your style)okay?okay.

  • Hazel OS
    08.06.2018

    Thought the responses by Hanafi were cryptic….till I actually ‘ YouTubed’ Bon Iver’s 22.A Million. Laawd?! What do they mean? I however remain forever fascinated with millenials, despite being in my late 30s

  • Nick Not Nice
    08.06.2018

    why do we still have people commenting before they read?

  • Louis Wamukoya
    08.06.2018

    Great read. A great insight on that generation. As Wandia Njoya pointed out, “we should stop millennial bashing”.

  • Ciru
    08.06.2018

    This is the first time iv read this blog and gotten bored….and i read every week 🙁

  • Elvira
    08.06.2018

    Had to look for the meaning of the word josh. Guidance is sure needed especially for this age group and acceptance that once can’t have it all ….. but can tend towards goodies one day at a time, is crucial too.

  • Mukasa
    08.06.2018

    That 22, A Million stuff is awesome. Very settling.

  • R
    09.06.2018

    I could use some Valium

    1
  • Justo
    09.06.2018

    Just finished reading a book whose essence could be distilled into this one quote: “If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy; but we want to be happier than other people, which is almost always difficult since we think them happier than they actually are.” This may be the underlying reason for all the existential angst that we feel as millennials.

    2
  • Mugabi Patsy
    09.06.2018

    True that we are living in such an identity traumatized generation , we therefore could use more posts like this.
    Mental health matters matter!

    I digress but the naturalista in me salutes the natural in the featured image.Wow her mane.

  • Charity, The Charity
    10.06.2018

    I relate SO MUCH. We are a hypersensitive generation,the ‘woke’ generation. Now we have to exist along people who don’t care about half the things we care about and they and all they do are just triggers for these sensitivities which is awfully frustrating. I’ve actually considered anxiety pills but my friends and I concluded that’s a totally white people way and blonde way to handle issues so we just ‘woman up’ and pretend Africans don’t get anxiety.

  • Beulah
    10.06.2018

    I always joke around and ask who the hell showed the devil the route to my life. Only it’s not always a joke, some shit gets too real. Habari gets anxiety and I can totally relate. If what he feels is as bad as my insomnia gets, I am glad he found valium and music. I’m very sure some of us are alive because of those earphones we never drop.

  • Mwangi
    11.06.2018

    How did it go with Grace out in the garden as she puffed away and ordered you around?

    Share the sunshine

  • L.T
    11.06.2018

    We are all different and almost always it takes integrity to not only respect other peoples’ perspectives, but also live comfortably with them. Hanafi is relatable to most of us in his generation but we cannot assume that all millenials are the same and go through this. A problem half shared is half solved, but only if we put our mind and energy to solving them. We are drowned in pools full of different problems but if we learn to share, listen and care, we could be better.
    Also read, ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ by Mark Manson.

    1
  • Ciku
    12.06.2018

    Biko, you guy,
    I love it!
    Hanafi and I should meet, we’d have a lot to discuss; like how often does he pop the pill nowadays, not for any reason in particular, but to discuss how we “pill-poppers” shall face the future; with or without pills……its a relief actually, to find out am not the only one who gets anxious enough to do pills (not valium though) not that its a good thing to do blah blah blah, all ye Judge Judies can kiss my behind. Any 20-something-year-old who tells you they’re not on sth is lying!! Maybe its not pills; but its over-eating, getting high on everything & anything, partying till they “drop”

  • Kaniaru's Son
    18.06.2018

    Sydney my guy, you still as quiet many years later, hope a bit fatter now

  • Millenial
    19.06.2018

    I absolutely relate with this. I feel like we are the most misunderstood generation with our parents always telling us stuff like, “In my time we did this, or that”, or, “I never did this when i was your age,” forgetting that we have been exposed to different circumstances. I pray to God we figure out our lives and not mess up our kids.

  • Beatrice
    21.06.2018

    Identity crisis

  • Bliss
    27.06.2018

    ……… because If you know who you are, nobody can tell you who to be. PROFOUND!!!

  • The Untold Story
    22.07.2018

    Who ever understands millenials?! Even our peers dont. The older generation invites us to open up, but judge us by our very words. We are a product of society; creatures of chaos and turmoil. At 21 we have endless thoughts of suicide that comes with the anxiety and depression. We are expected to have shit together,not make mistakes but on the other hand we have just embraced the world we know nothing about. A lot could be said about what we millenials are going through.
    Fellow millenials we are in this together,things we’ll be okay,some day.

  • JW
    02.08.2018

    Judging by a few comments I must be the only millennial who finds Hanafi slightly neurotic and self-involved. Kudos to you Biko, I would have lasted like 10 seconds in that conversation. But to each his own.

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *